CHAPTER 15

Maddie's POV

          Today's moving day. My room is still full of things, like my bed, dresser, mirror, and clothes since we're still keeping this house as a vacation home. That's the ony reason I wasn't putting up a huge fight about moving. The thing that I'm most worried about is being closer to Demi. Sure it'll mean seeing her more and more often but that meant hiding it more and more. More anxiety, which meant more cutting. Being with Demi meant paparazzi, which meant more insults and more things to worry about. My parents say it's the best thing for this family, but honestly? I don't think they thought of the whole family. Granted, I haven't told them anything about me, so they're not totally at fault, and I never will tell them. I'm fine, I don't need anyone's help. 

~*~

           I walked through the huge empty house. My new house. I walked up the spiral staircase and down the hallway where a door was at the end. I turned the handle and pulled it open, revealing a set of stairs. Curious, I climbed them, and a huge room came into view. It seemed to be an attic, but it was finished, a window was cut into the wall facing the city, an amazing view. I set my backpack on the ground, I found my room. 

~*~

            I laid on the bed and looked up around at my bare walls and ceiling. My mom had a fit when she found out I wanted to sleep in the attic. But my dad had calmed her down, and after shooting me a sly wink, he told me to go unpack my stuff. Demi's coming over for dinner tonight. So my anxiety is still spiked. knowing that I have to eat something, mixed with knowing of her suspicion is killing me. A knock at my door sounded and I jumped, "Come in!" the door opened to reveal Demi standing there, "Hey Dems." She smiled, "Hey babygirl! I came up to see your new room!" I nodded, and gestured with my arms, "Well here it is." Demi's eyebrows dipped down as she came further into the room, shutting the door. "Is everything okay?" I sighed, and nodded. "I'm fine." Ugh, that sounded so fake, anyone could tell it was a lie. The bed shifted as Demi laid next to me, "You sure? You don't seem fine." I shrugged, "I miss home." Demi nodded, "Well just think of this as.... as a second home. Somewhere you can start fresh and make new memories in." I sighed, New memories of crying and cutting and depression. "Yeah, new memories." Demi turned her head to look at me, "Mads?" I looked at her, "Yeah?" She sighed, "Is  there  anything  you  want  to tell me?"  My heart  started to  beat  faster, "N-No.
W-Why would you say that?" I stuttered, cursing in my head at the lie. Demi's eyes widened, "Mads, you can tell me anything." It's these moments where I just wish I wasn't such a fucked up human being. I wish I could laugh this off and tell Demi she's just paranoid, and that nothing's wrong. To tell her that I'm fie and actually mean it. I was I was able to be honest with my sister and my family. But that can't happen. She'll hate me. She won't want to be around me, or worse she'll send me off to the loony bin for treatment. I don't need help. I'm fine. I'm fine. 

            I thought through all of this very quickly, "There's nothing Demi. I-" I cut myself off from promising her. Making promises was a bad habit. Considering I wasn't planning on living all of them out. Demi cocked her head, "You what?" I shook my head, "Nothing." Demi took my hand, "Maddie please, you can tell me babygirl." I winced involuntarily as she called me her old nickname for me. If she found out, she'd never call me babygirl again. I'd never be her baby sister, I'd be Madison. She'd hate me. 

         With all of this running through my mind, I became firm in my decision, I can't tell Demi. I can't be weak and give in. She says I can tell her anything, but she has no idea what I would tell her. 

I cannot be weak. 

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I'M A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT I KNOW. I SUCK AT UPDATING BUT I'M SERIOUSLY GOING TO TRY AND UPDATE THIS ONE AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK. 

IM SORRY OKAY. 

Comment what you want to happen!(=

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Shoutout to @MatildeFerreir for making the new cover! 

-Rachel(: