"Skylar...are you awake?" He mumbled quietly. Gently stroking her hair.

She opened her eyes slowly. Ryder was sitting next to her on the bed.

It was dark.

But she could see him, as clearly as if the light was shining straight on him.

She sat up. Facing him.

"I didn't mean to hurt you Skylar, it's not you...I mean...of course I want you, but I am scared. I just don't want to make another bad decision, I made too many. I don't want to make anymore mistakes. I can't afford it" he was quiet.

"It's okay Ryder. I am not mad...I am not even hurt. I just wish it could be different. Sometimes I just wish, I could be like everybody else. I wish, I was free to fall in love, and to make love, but I know it's not that simple. Everything I do has consequences, not just for me, but for everyone who chooses to be in my life. I understand why you can't" the tears came back. It felt unfair, she usually didn't feel deprived or cheated, but right now she did! She wanted more than she knew she could have.

She knew how impossible it was.

He saw.

He wiped the tears away gently with his hand, every time he touched her, it made her heart sink. The ache was unbearable.

She was aching for him.

She wanted to give in, she wanted him to give in to her.

She kissed the hand that had wiped away the hurt...she let his hand rest on her mouth, before guiding it down to her chest. She felt it, as he wanted to pull his hand from her firm grip, but she didn't let him.

"Skylar...are you sure?" He whispered.

"I want you...I want you Ryder" she whispered, and she saw his stance collapse.

He lay down next to her, and lifted the cover up, only to pull it over the both of them, as if they were hiding from the world.

"This is your first time?" He whispered sweetly.

She nodded.

"Skylar...are you sure you want it to be with me?" He was quiet.

She nodded. Asking her that, convinced her he had all the right intentions. He wanted to have her consent, he needed to make sure.

He didn't want to hurt her.

Time stood still, and the moment she felt his body on top of her, she was struggling to catch her breath.

He stopped instantly.

"Are you okay?" He whispered.

"Is this even possible for us? Going through with this, can your body handle the strain?" He was still whispering.

She nodded, lifting her head to reach his mouth, silencing him with a kiss...letting him know, just how okay she was. It wasn't the weight of his body, that made her lose her breath, it was the closeness. She never experienced this kind of intimacy before. It makes your heart stop. It makes you lose your breath.

It makes it all worth it! No matter what.

Her hands were carressing his back, as he found his way around her body, she felt exhilarated...the warmth of two bodies moving was intoxicating.

She sensed it all, she felt everything...like in slowmotion. The softness of his skin, every tiny bump, and crevice on his body was like a treasure to be found, and she felt compelled to close her eyes, heightening her sense of smell. His smell was almost fragrant. Her ability to taste him was unlike anything she ever imagined possible. Once you melt into one, everything seizes to exist!

The way he touched her, convinced her he knew what he was doing, yet he seemed shy, as if this was his first time too.

His hands were shaking, he was nervous, and he couldn't do anything about it! Being this close to someone he actually cared about was uncharted territory. He wasn't used to making love to someone he actually cared for! A body was just a body...but not this time...touching Skylar was like standing too close to a roaring fire. Her body was so warm, she invited him in, and he couldn't wait! He didn't care if he ended up getting burned...

And so they made love.

Right there under the covers.

Their bodies moving simultaneously, matching each other perfectly. Moving slowly...slowing down...tenderly feeling every careful motion...as he was picking up the pace, it made her toes curl, and every fiber in her body tense up, only to end up in this electrifying shock overpowering her entire being. Consuming her. Devouring her. Overpowering her. She opened her eyes, and saw him hover over her. He was resting his stance by keeping both arms straight, as if he was doing push-ups, his muscles quivering slightly.

Both trying to catch their breath, he kissed her gently on the mouth, lingering by the softness of her sweet lips, breathing her in.

After.

They laid in silence, out of breath...out of words to say. Making love makes you speechless, apparently. Skylar always loved words, but right now she had nothing to say. She just wanted to feel this way forever!

Her body was so relaxed, like she just had a full body massage...and she sort of had? It made her smile. So this is what sex feels like...sex with someone you are so attracted to - it feels almost unreal! She never felt like this before, wanting someone like she wanted Ryder.

She was soaking in the silence, listening to him breathing. It was almost calming to her, feeling him take in a breath of air, only to release it slowly. Like he was smoking a cigarette.

She felt his heart beat through his chest, it was beating so fast...but after a while it became more normal. She kept listening.

Waiting for him to say something, only he didn't.

And eventually, she decided to break the silence.

"I think I love you" she whispered.

"I think I love you too" he said, and they fell asleep embracing those words.