NATHAN'S POV

"Fuck."I cussed out when I hit my finger with the hammer again.

I took my gloves off and put my thumb in my mouth hoping to soothe away the pain. I didn't cuss, I'd stopped doing that for the sake of the kids but I was picking up that terrible habit again.

"At this rate, you'll loose all your fingers. What's up with you boss? You look distracted."Raul asked me.

Raul was my foreman and did most of the heavy lifting around the ranch after me of course. He was a straight up guy, didn't speak much and was adored by my kids. He had been working for me for three years and he had proven himself to be a good worker. Of all my workers I was closest to him but it didn't mean I would go around pouring my heart out to him.

"Nothing."I grunted putting my glove back on and choosing to ignore the pain.

We were fixing a fence that had rotted out replacing the poles with new ones. It was something I'd done hundreds of times before without as much as a scratch but for some reason I couldn't stop hurting myself. And it was all because of her.

Savannah Grace Watson.

The woman who wouldn't stop haunting my days as well as my nights.

Savannah had been working at the ranch for more than two weeks and she had been wonderful. The kids loved her, especially Clara who was obsessed with her, she did her job well and never complained of the workload being too much or the kids being a hassle. Taking care of five kids, that huge house and feeding a dozen workers was not an easy task but she managed it perfectly without any past experience. The woman was an angel and I patted myself of the back for taking a chance on her.

Everything about her was perfect, maybe too perfect and it was messing with my head. After being around her so much I couldn't help but start to notice the woman behind the nanny and housekeeper role. Only a blind man would fail to appreciate the feminine figure that woman possessed but with the strength of a man. Her outfits consisted of tight fitting jeans and tank tops which was totally acceptable if it wasn't for the fact that it drove me wild. When I was around her I couldn't keep my eyes off her. Anytime I caught a glimpse of her cleavage when she bent over I almost always swallowed my tongue. The jeans accentuated her ass and hips perfectly tempting me and it didn't help that she was gorgeous too with beautiful brown eyes, full cupid bow lips and a killer smile. Her tattoos and piercings only made her more alluring to me and by God did I want her.

I wanted her so bad it made my blood boil. One would think I was a virgin who had never been with a woman before. The woman was driving me mad and she wasn't even aware of it.

"Fucking hell."I cried out for the umpteenth time after I hit myself again.

I took off my glove and saw that I'd actually managed to draw blood this time.

"That's it, either stop or tell me what going on. You'll cut off your hand next. What's bothering you?"Raul insisted.

I looked at him and realized that he wouldn't let go until I told him the truth. I took off my stetson and used my bandana to wipe the sweat off my brow and then wrapped it around my bleeding finger. I sat on the grass leaning against the pole bracing myself for the talk we were about to have.

"What do you think of Savannah?"I asked Raul using a stick to scrape mud off the sole of my shoe.

Raul looked at me confused thinking about my question for a second before answering.

"She's good at her job, makes an awesome casserole and someone you can actually have a laugh with. She's great."He replied carefully watching his words.

"I know all that but what do you actually think about her? As a woman not as someone who cooks your meals."I insisted.

"Oh. Ooh?"Raul exclaimed when he realized what I was driving at.

"She's gorgeous, strong like an ox but with a gentle touch. Half the ranch hands have a crush on her and that look on your face tells me you do too."Raul chuckled.

I would have tossed my boot at him but he was on the right track. I didn't have a crush on her though, it was much more than that.

"Does that mean you have a crush on her too?"I asked him.

"I did at first but I got over it, she doesn't do it for me. And besides who am I to compete against you."Raul replied.

I was relived that he didn't fancy her, that would have put a dent in our relationship. Savannah wasn't mine but I didn't want to feel like I was competing for her against others.

"I feel like a teenage boy anytime I'm around her. Honestly at this rate I can't even think straight. I know it's been a while since I was with a woman but still why am I this way when it comes to her."I groaned.

"Because she's different. You've rejected all eligible women in Woodcreek because they didn't scratch that itch within you. Now Savannah is here and she does. You're scared you've found a gem and you don't know how to behave."Raul answered.

He was right, so damn right and yet his words only confirmed my feelings but offered no solution.

"I'll be man enough and admit that I like her and I'm definitely attracted to her but I'm not the kind of man who does causal, I'm too old for that."I expressed.

"Then ask her out and do it the right way. She might be interested too but you'll never know until you ask."Raul advised.

"What if she doesn't feel the same? What if the idea of a man with five kids doesn't appeal to her? She only just got released and hasn't had much experience in the outside world. Do I really want to tie her down to a life as an automatic mother of five."I challenged.

Raul looked at me and he knew I was right too. I didn't want to face rejection, moreover Savannah deserved a chance to live her life and explore before settling down.

"You can't make that decision for her. Gather your wits and ask her out. If she rejects you, then you heal and move on. But if she says yes then you're both happy having found exactly what you're looking for."Raul replied.

I didn't want to be rejected, that would mess up with my ego and pride but I also didn't want to pass up on the opportunity of something great just because I was a coward.

"We are all going out tonight, why don't you come out with us. It'll be a great way for you to unwind and be away from Savannah for a while so you can think about what to do clearly."Raul invited.

"The kids."I mumbled using the excuse I always did when I was invited out for drinks or to hang out.

"Savannah has got the kids, it's her job. You can't use that excuse anymore. You're going out with us, it'll do you good."Raul asserted.

It had been a while since I'd had a night to myself, out in the town with my friends. I trusted Savannah and knew she would be able to handle a night without me.

"Okay fine, I'll come."I relented.

"Awesome."Raul grinned at me.

He held his hand out and helped me to my feet so we could finish fixing the fence. My finger had already stopped bleeding and hopefully I would be able avoid any more injuries. I felt better after my talk with Raul. Sometimes it was good to just let it all out and have someone listen to you even if they didn't have a solution. I also looked forward to going out later. It was a Friday so I didn't have to worry about waking up early the next day to drive the kids to school. I could sleep in and nurse my hangover because I planned on getting wasted.

Savannah texted everyone that lunch was ready so Raul and I finished up before piling everything back into the truck and driving back to the house.

As always she was there was a warm smile and a delicious meal waiting for us. Everything she did was so effortless making her more of an angel in my eyes. More than anything I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her but I hadn't even asked her out. I also didn't want to get punched, I'd seen her do it when Austin jokingly grabbed her ass once. She nearly broke his nose and I was about to break his legs too and fire him but he apologized and they were good now. Savannah had no idea what she was doing to me and if she did she was being plain cruel. I needed to find a solution and soon before I went insane.

"Guess who's coming out with us tonight?"Raul announced slapping my arm before I even got the chance to ask Savannah if she would be okay on her own with the kids.

"Really? You actually managed to convince him."Atlan asked surprised.

"It was a lot of hard work but I managed it."Raul declared.

"I will only if Savannah assures me that she can handle the kids on her own tonight."I announced looking at her.

"Yes I can, you can go out and have fun."She assured me.

A part of me had wished she would say no but then that would mean she was admitting to being incompetent at her job which she wasn't.

"Then it's settled, tonight we're getting you shitfaced."Austin declared making everyone cheer.

Savannah looked at us and chuckled as she added more rice onto her plate. She noticed me looking at her and we held eye contact for a few minutes the air cracking between us, at least from my side until Travis called her.

I looked away focusing on the delicious food she had made for us. I seriously needed to get a grip on my feelings for her before it messed me up. It could also be just lust seeing as she was a beautiful woman and I was a full blooded male. But no, there was something more than just lust because if you took sex out of the equation I still wanted to be with her, listen to her talk, see her smile and spend time with her. I was in deep yet it had only been two weeks and I didn't know how to get out of it.

After lunch everyone else got back to work and I was glad to be away from Savannah once more. The closer I was to her the more she messed with my head.

Later on I picked the kids up from school looking forward to when Savannah would get her license so she could start doing the pick ups and drop offs. I had no issue doing it myself but it involved dealing with other parents especially the moms and that did not appeal to me.

After dropping the kids off at home I went back to work killing a few hours before I had to leave for a night out in town with my friends.

"Okay guys I'm leaving after dinner which means Savannah is in charge as always, listen to her and don't give her a hard time. Stick to your bedtime schedules unless you want to be grounded."I instructed looking at all of them.

They were good kids, most of the time anyway but when they decided to get into mischief it could be hell.

"You should trust us more pops, we'll behave."Luke assured me.

"I hope so, I don't want a repeat of last time."I demanded.

"What happened last time?"Savannah asked.

She was finding it easier to join us for dinner even if most of the time she ate outside with the workers.

"They tried having a bonfire almost burning the house down."I explained.

"It was an accident pops and it was three years ago."Daniel defended.

"I don't care, behave yourselves."I asserted.

They all grumbled their responses and concentrated back on their food. After dinner I went up to my room and took a much needed shower changing into something more casual but still comfortable. I wore a pair of black jeans, a grey sweater, black leather jacket and black boots. I combed out my beard and sprayed on my favorite cologne.

Picking up my phone and wallet I decided I looked good enough and left my room running into Savannah who was carrying Clara to the living room. She had planned a games night with the kids to keep them occupied.

"Papa."Clara exclaimed noticing me first.

She scrambled out of Savannah's arms who let her down carefully and ran towards me wrapping her arms around my legs. I picked her up smothering her face with kisses and only stopped when she couldn't catch her breath. I turned to look at Savannah who was looking at us with an adoring gaze but it faded as soon as our eyes met.

"You look handsome papa."Clara complimented.

"Thank you princess, I'm sorry I won't be there to tuck you in tonight."I apologized.

"It's okay, Savannah is better at telling stories, she makes all the noises."Clara replied.

I should have felt hurt but instead I was really happy because it meant Savannah was very well capable of her job.

"Is she now?"I chuckled looking at Savannah who was smiling at us.

"Have a good time papa, don't drink and drive."Clara demanded.

I don't think she even knew the meaning of that statement but she was right.

"I won't baby, I promise."I replied kissing her cheek before setting her down.

She ran into the living room joining the rest of her siblings. I turned to Savannah who was already looking at me. She looked so warm and cuddly in a woolen sweater and jeans that all I wanted was to pull her into my arms and kiss her then cuddle her on the couch as we watched movies with the kids. But we couldn't do that because she was my employee and probably didn't feel the same way.

"Have fun tonight, you deserve it."She said breaking me out of my trance.

"I plan to. I can't remember the last time I hang out with my friends. I mean I love the kids but I miss going out."I replied.

"Then today is your day, enjoy."She encouraged.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?"I asked once again.

"I will be, trust me. Just go out and have fun."She demanded.

I chuckled at her bossiness and realized that she was okay and would be good on her own with the kids. I nodded at her and went into the living room to say goodnight the kids. I reminded them to be good and after getting the assurance that I needed I left the house knowing they were in safe hands.

Raul was my designated driver for the night and I found him waiting for me outside by his truck chewing on a blade of glass.

"Ready to remember how it feels to be young again?"He cheered.

"Definitely."I replied enthusiastically.

"Perfect, let's go."He declared getting behind the wheel.

I glanced at the house one more time hearing my kids laughter echoing inside before getting in next to Raul. The kids were in safe hands and it was my turn to have a fun night, get drunk and try to forget Savannah.

Raul took me to the most popular bar in town where everyone else was already waiting for us. It looked just like I remembered, wooden chipped floors, animal trophies on the walls, country music playing in the background, pool tables and darts at the far corner and one huge bar ready to serve all the tired and ready to let loose cowboys.

"There he is, I thought you would bail last minute."Austin yelled once he saw me.

"Not tonight."I replied taking off my jacket and draping it to the back of a seat.

I sat down next to Austin and Raul took the seat on my other side. Travis, Raymond and Atlan were on the same table with me while the rest were on the table next to us.

"Well then, this is for you."Travis said pushing a beer towards me. "Here's to reminding you how to have fun."He grinned clinking his glass against mine.

"Cheers."I chuckled taking a sip of the warm beer.

It trickled down my throat warming me up from the inside out making me smile. Thoughts of Savannah and my kids tried to push their way into my mind but I quickly kicked them out. The night was about me, to have fun and get drunk. With that thought in mind I drained that first beer in one go and ordered another round for the table.

Three beers in I started getting loose enough to ignore all thoughts of what I'd left back home and could fully enjoy myself. I played pool with my friends, shot some darts and genuinely had a good time.

"I needed this, thank you."I said to Raul as we played pool for the third time that night.

"It's good to have you here boss."He replied with a smile.

I was about to say something else when a manicured hand appeared from behind me, the dainty feminine fingers wrapping themselves around my cue stick. Raul who was infront of me grinned and disappeared out of right. I turned to tell the lady off but my words dried right out of my mouth when I saw the face attached to the hand on my cue stick.

"Donna."I breathed unable to believe my eyes.

"Well hello there cowboy."She purred inching closer so that were were less than a foot apart.

"What? What are you doing here?"I stuttered looking into those beautiful blue eyes that had once been my favorite thing to look at.

I couldn't believe that eight years later the woman infront of me still had an effect on me. To be fair any man would be affected by her. Donna had been my girlfriend in college, we met in sophomore year and fell head over heels in love. It was lust at first sight for me seeing as the woman was sex on legs with a to die for hour glass figure, long brunette hair and those eyes, by God those eyes but I fell in love after getting to know better. We had dated until graduation when she broke up with me because she was moving to Washington DC for work and a small town cowboy like me didn't fit into those plans. It had been hard for me but I had thrown myself into work at the oil rig and eventually moved on when I had to grow up.

"I missed my cowboy."She replied flashing her pearly whites at me.

"Eight years too late."I grumbled moving aside after getting some sense back into me.

"Definitely not seeing as there's no ring on that finger."Donna replied looking at my hand.

I scoffed and reached for my beer taking a long swig. She snatched it away from my grip and finished it in one go. The woman could also drink me under the table, another thing I'd liked about her. That was until she broke my heart into a million pieces.

"What are you doing here Donna?."I asked her with a stern look on my face.

"You never were one to beat around the bush, it's one of your best qualities. Anyway I'm here for work, the courthouse is trying to recruit me as a judge. I recalled that you lived here so I came here tonight hoping someone would tell me where to find you and lady luck smiled upon me because here you are."She answered trying to dazzle me with her smile.

"I thought you didn't do small towns."I asked crossing my arms over my chest.

"I didn't then but I've had my fill of the big city this past eight years."She replied.

"Well good for you but now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my friends."I replied turning to walk away but she blocked my path.

"Why are you being so icy? It's been eight years Nate, can't we just start over and forget the past."She requested getting serious and dropping the flirty face.

"I don't think so. You dropped me like hot coal when you got that job in DC and I don't trust that you won't do it again. And besides its been eight years and we've both picked up a lot of baggage along the way. You can't handle mine and I sure as hell don't want to deal with yours so just leave me alone. Go back to DC or look for another small town to move to. Woodcreek is not the place for you."I gritted out.

"You sent me letters and messages for three years after we broke up saying you would never move on or find someone like me. You said that you would always be here waiting for me, we'll then here I am."She declared.

"I was naive and stupid back then. Life caught up and I got responsibilities now that didn't include waiting around for someone who didn't appreciate a good thing when they had it."I retorted.

"What changed?"She asked trying to reach for my face but I stepped back.

"My kids that's what changed."I replied.

Donna's eyes widened as if I'd dropped a bomb at her feet which I kind of had.

"You have kids?"She asked in a whisper.

"Yes five beautiful angels. Like I said we have baggage now and you can't deal with mine. Have a good evening Donna."I said and when I turned around to leave this time, she didn't stop me.

I walked back to my friends and sat down picking up a beer and drinking half of it in one breath.

"Told you tonight would be good for you. Look at you already picking up women."Austin cheered clapping my back.

"So who is she? Did you get her number?"He insisted.

"Who's the hot woman you were just chatting up?"Raymond asked.

"Someone I dated in college."I replied draining my beer.

"Wow, she's hot."Austin said looking behind me.

I could feel eyes on my back but I refused to turn around.

"Yes but she also dumped me because I couldn't fit into the fancy future she wanted so definitely not happening."I gritted out.

I hoped Donna would take my advice and leave me alone. I didn't have room in my life for the past. I was trying to build my future and someone like her definitely didn't fit into mine just like I hadn't fit into hers back then. I didn't hold any grudge against her for dumping me, she was allowed to live her life without me. What she didn't have a right to was waltzing back in eight years later expecting us to pick up where we left of.

My life was different now, I was a father, I had a ranch and a dozen workers who depended on me and I was interested in someone else. I didn't know if Savannah wanted me back but I would rather risk it with her than try getting back together with Donna. She was in the past and had to stay there.

"She's gone."Raul who had sensed my turmoil informed me.

I sighed in relief and relaxed picking up another beer. In an attempt to erase all memories of my run in with Donna and trying to bury my new found feelings for Savannah I overdid it with the alcohol. My plan had been to get wasted but I went overboard. My last memory of the night was Raul and Austin carrying me out of the bar because I was too drunk to walk.