Felix was just sitting down to his lonely dinner when he heard horses approaching outside. He grabbed his rifle from beside the door and stepped out on the porch to see five men on horseback. Two of the men jumped from their horses and walked toward him. He aimed the rifle at the older of the two.

"Stay where you are." he said. "What can I do for you men?" Felix couldn't shake the feeling that these two men in front of him were familiar.

"We don't mean you no harm. I'm looking for my son. I'm afraid he might have been hurt a few months back in a stage attack and we're thinking that someone around here may have took him in." Alarms went off in Felix's mind and he suddenly knew why these men were familiar. This must be Jack's father and brother.

"I heard about that stage." Felix said lowering his rifle. "Terrible thing to have happen to those innocent people. All of these damn outlaws need to be shot if ya ask me."

"I agree with ya." John replied while Brian grinned and spit in the dirt at the foot of the porch steps.

"You wouldn't happen to know nothing about my boy would you?" John asked. Felix scratched at his balding, flyaway red hair and shook his head.

"Nope. It's just been me out here alone since my wife passed away." Brian took a step forward and Felix raised the rifle.

"That's funny old man because several folks told us that you were nursing some poor guy back to health out here that those outlaws had shot all to hell." Felix shook his head.

"You folks were told wrong." he replied.

"We've been traveling hard lately fella, you wouldn't mind if we came in and grabbed a bite to eat would you?" John asked. Felix wanted to refuse but he saw Brian's fingers inching closer to his revolver and the other three men on horses looked just as ready to pull their weapons.

"Of course. Come on in. I got some soup and bread made. 'Course the food ain't been all that great since my wife passed away." Felix led the five men into the house and they all sat down in the chairs and on the bed. Felix made each of them a bowl of soup and stood in the corner tensely as he watched them eat.

"You sure you ain't heard nothing about my boy? We're awful worried about him and any information you could tell me would help." John said after he had drunk the last of the soup from the bowl. Felix shook his head.

"I don't know nothing about Jack." he replied.

"Who said anything about his name being Jack?" John asked. Felix cursed under his breath. He never had been good at confrontation or lying. His Penelope had loved it because he could never keep anything from her but right now his lack of lying talent was not a good thing.

"It's time for you to be talking right now old man or I'm gonna blow a hole right in your head." Brian said standing up from the table and pulling his gun. Felix reached for his rifle but two more men grabbed him and held him still.

"Start talking." John said from where he still sat calmly at the table. "Is my son still alive? And where the hell is he at if he is?"

"I won't tell you bastards nothing. That kid is a hell of a lot better off with the people he's with now."

"Is that so?" John asked in a cool voice. John gave a nod and one of the men holding Felix slammed his fist hard into the old man's stomach. Felix let out a yell of pain as he slumped forward and the air rushed out of his lungs.

"Would you like to rethink your position on the matter?" Brian asked with a chuckle. Felix forced himself to stand straight again and glared at Brian.

"Go to hell you murdering sons of bitches. Jack is ten times the man any of you are and I won't betray him."

"Then you'll die." John replied. He nodded at Brian who shrugged and aimed his gun at Felix's chest.

"Thanks for dinner." Brian said and he pulled the trigger. The sound of the gunshot filled the small cabin and the men holding Felix released him as he fell to the floor.

Felix stared up at the wood planked ceiling of his cabin as he listened to the men going through his belongings and knew they were helping themselves to his things. He was surprised that the pain wasn't that bad as he felt the floor becoming wet with blood beneath him. He felt cold though and every breath he took was becoming more shallow.

He heard the cabin door open and all the men left, closing the door behind them. He listened to the clock tick on the wall, counting off the seconds he had left to live. His ragged breathing the only other sound his ears could hear.

He was dying but he wasn't sad about it. Finally after six months, one week and three days he was going to see his beautiful Penelope again. He closed his eyes and there she was. All dressed in white with her gray hair hanging loose around her shoulders.

'I've missed you so, my crazy old man.' she said with a loving smile.

'I got here just as soon as I could old woman.' he replied. The clock on the wall continued to tick and was the only sound still filling the tiny cabin as Felix's heart stopped beating and his ragged breathing stopped.

***

"So what now pa? We know Jack's alive but we don't know where he is. Hell he could be watching us right now and waiting for a chance to kill us." Brian said looking all around him as if he expected Jack to materialize out of thin air.

"Don't listen to him boys." John said as two of the men looked around nervously. The third man, Bearclaw, a Comanche Indian half breed that was the newest addition to the gang was the only one who did not look afraid. Of course John knew that even if he was afraid no one would be able to tell because he never showed any emotion.

"Where do you think he went, John?" Blue asked. John looked over at the tall, muscular, square headed man and grinned.

"There can only be one place. You heard that old man say that Jack was better off with the people he was with now. That means he went somewhere that he considered a home. Back to people that care about him."

"Great Valley." Brian said with a happy smile.

"Looks like we're going to Great Valley boys." They all jumped on their horses to start the long trip. It would take a good three weeks by horseback to get to their destination.

"Hey pa, when we get there I would really like to have a go at that injun's woman. It's been a long time and I still can't get the thought of her out of my mind." Brian said excitedly as they started down the road.

"No Brian. We're after Jack and that's it."

"Come on pa.. We gotta have a little fun!" Brian exclaimed.

"That injun will kill you." John argued. "You saw the man, he's huge. And them injun's can move without being heard or seen. You wouldn't stand a chance."

"Yeah but we got Bearclaw now. He can take that stupid injun, can't ya Bearclaw?"

"I fear no one." Bearclaw replied in heavily accented English.

"Alright fine." John said with a shrug. "It might teach that boy a real good lesson if we have our way with both them women and kill his favorite injun. He did kill Becket after all."

888

"You killed me." Katie, the girl from the stage coach, said pointing a bloody finger at Jack accusingly.

"No. I tried to let you get away!" Jack argued. She took a step toward him and her blood covered pink dress shone in the moonlight.

"You let them kill both of us." a second voice said from behind him and Jack turned to see Katie's mother standing there with a bloody hole in her stomach. Jack moved to the side so he could see them both at once and shook his head.

"There was nothing I could do." he said. They walked toward him pointing their fingers at his face.

"Murderer." they both said. Jack shook his head and backed away.

"I'm sorry." he said. He looked away from them and when he looked back he yelled in disbelief when he saw that Katie and her mother had turned into Allie and Lily.

"No!" he cried out.

"You killed me." Allie screeched at him. Jack fell to his knees.

"No Allie! I would never hurt you!" he swore as tears rolled down his cheeks. The sight of Allie and Lily covered in blood with their faces pale and their eyes dead made his stomach turn and his heart hurt.

"You have hurt me, Jack." Allie replied. She raised her hand to the bloody hole on her chest and Jack watched in horror as she began to tear at the hole.

"What are you doing?" he screamed as blood poured down her arm.

"My heart is broken ,Jack! Don't you want to see my broken heart?" she demanded. "How could you do this to me? How could you let them kill me?"

"I didn't!" Jack cried as tears flowed freely and he crawled toward her on his knees. "Allie, I would never let anyone hurt you! I love you, Allie!"

"Here Jack." Allie said. "Here is my heart." Jack screamed at the horrible sight that followed her statement and the sound of wet dripping of blood on the ground.

"No!" he yelled and he sat up quickly in his dark bedroom and looked around. He was panting and covered in sweat. His stomach churned and he knew he was going to vomit. He stood and ran from his room and out of the cabin. The cool night air dried the sweat on his naked torso as he ran into the woods before losing his stomach on the leafy forest floor.

He stayed crouched with his arms resting on his knees as he shook uncontrollably and tried to clear the images of Allie's bloody body from his mind. His nerves were on edge and his heart was pounding when suddenly he heard a twig snap behind him.

Instinct took over and he pulled the knife he always kept strapped to his pants and threw it through the air as he turned. His eyes widened with horror when he realized he had thrown his knife at Hawke.

Hawke seemed unfazed as he moved his head slightly to the side and the knife sailed harmlessly past.

"Hawke, dammit, I could have killed you!" Jack exclaimed as he wiped his sweaty face with his bare arm. Hawke shook his head.

"No." he replied. "You have gotten faster but you are still not that fast." Jack gave a laugh that was more because of nervous energy than it was Hawke's words and he walked around Hawke to go find his knife. He found it and stuck it back in the strap on his leg and looked toward the cabin.

He felt his nerves tense as Hawke stood silently behind him and finally he snapped.

"Hawke, don't stand behind me!" he exclaimed loudly. Hawke walked up so that he was standing beside him instead of behind him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Hawke asked. Jack raised a brow and looked at the man. Hawke noticed the look of disbelief on Jack's face and shrugged.

"Lily and I were awake and heard you yelling in your sleep and then we heard you run out. She said I should come see if you needed to talk about it."

"It's the middle of the night. What the hell were you two doing awake?" Jack asked as he shivered in the cool air. He suddenly wished he had put on a shirt before running outside. Hawke of course was only wearing pants but, like always, if he was uncomfortable it didn't show.

"That is none of your business." Hawke said matter of factly and Jack shook his head when he suddenly realized what they'd been doing awake. "You might as well talk to me, Jack, because if you don't Lily will corner you later and get the story out of you."

"It was just a dream" Jack replied and he rolled his eyes when Hawke stayed silent and still beside of him waiting to hear more. "Have you ever killed somebody, Hawke?"

"Yes." Hawke replied calmly.

"I've killed a lot of people Hawke. It was either I kill those people or I would be killed and for a long time I just wasn't brave enough to die. I tried to get away but they always caught me and brought me back, usually with a few new bullet holes to show for my troubles." Hawke nodded as he realized by the number of scars covering Jack's torso just how many times the boy had tried to get away.

"You said they think they killed you." he said. Jack nodded.

"We had hit a stage. The driver and shot gun man were dead and I was standing guard over the prisoners. There was a girl and, Hawke, she looked so much like Allie that it was scary. I didn't want her to run. If she ran it was my job to kill her and I always did my job because if I didn't I would be the one that ended up shot. But she ran, Hawke.." Jack ran his hand through his hair and looked up at the canopy of leaves above them.

"She ran and I couldn't do it. I couldn't shoot her. She could have made it, Hawke.. She was almost to the woods but her own mother gave her away and they filled that girl with so many holes and there was so much blood. I ran to her but it was too late and they killed the rest of the hostages while I stared down at her face.

"All I could see was Allie and I nearly vomited right there in the snow. My pa was running his mouth about what a disappointment I was but all I could do was stare down at her. Her pink dress had turned red with blood and her brown eyes were dead. My pa and brother got on their horses to ride away but there was one guy, Becket, he stayed behind because the girls mother wasn't completely dead yet and he wanted to have a go at her." Jack stopped talking and kicked at the ground with his bare foot as he remembered the disgust he had felt watching Becket stare at the dying woman with desire.

"I got strong then, Hawke. I knew I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't even care if I died. I just couldn't let no more innocent people suffer without doing something to try to stop it. I knew they'd shoot me for it and I was looking forward to it to be honest with you. Being dead sounded better than being their prisoner anymore. I pulled my gun and I shot Becket. I blew his good for nothing perverted head clean off and within seconds I was lying on the frozen ground with a bunch of new bullet holes of my own.

"My pa yelled at me for making him kill me and then he rode away. I thought about Allie and how I was never gonna get a chance to tell her or you and Lily that I was sorry and I closed my eyes. I passed out then but an old man found me and nursed me back to health." The two men stood there in silence and Jack wondered what Hawke thought about him.

"You are not a bad man, Jack. They were bad men and you were a man just trying to do what he had to do in order to stay alive."

"I was a coward." Jack argued with disgust. Hawke just shook his head but said nothing else. He knew he wouldn't be able to convince Jack otherwise.

"The dream?" Hawke asked finally.

"It was that girl and her mother. They were both covered in blood and telling me that I killed them. Suddenly they changed and became Allie and Lily. My Allie was covered in blood Hawke and then she ripped out her own heart so she could show me just how badly I had broken it!

"How am I supposed to look at myself in the mirror after the things I've done? I have killed innocent people, I have stolen and stood by and done nothing while innocent women have been raped and tortured. I have broken the heart of the only damn woman in the world I've ever loved and I hurt the only damn family I ever had. I am a bad man, Hawke… If you could see inside me you'd know.

"There's a rage and a darkness and I feel like I'm constantly fighting against it. Sometimes I wish they really had killed me." Jack fell silent and wiped his hands on his pants roughly as if hoping to clean the blood of the past off of them.

"We have all done things that we wish we could take back." Hawke said quietly. "You have to forgive yourself for your past mistakes because you cannot go back and change them. You are a good man, Jack whether you are ready to acknowledge it or not." Hawke patted him on the back in a rare show of affection. "You should go back home and get some rest. There is a lot of work to do tomorrow." Jack nodded, suddenly embarrassed and ashamed by all he had shared with Hawke.

Hawke watched Jack walk back to the cabin and then he cleared his throat and looked over at a large oak tree.

"You can come out now, Allie." Allie came out from behind the tree and chewed on her lip before smiling sheepishly and looking up at him.

"How long did you know I was there?" she asked.

"The whole time you were there. You followed me out of the house."

"I need to talk to Jack." Allie said sadly. She had not realized just how broken he was on the inside. He always acted so confident and sure of himself and she realized it was just a cover for the hell that raged inside of him. No matter how badly Jack had hurt her in the past and no matter what kinds of things he had done while he'd been gone, she could not stand to see him in pain and only wanted to comfort him.

"You cannot." Hawke said shaking his head. "Jack does not know you heard him and he will be angry and ashamed to know that you were listening."

"But he's hurting…" Allie said reaching down and patting Janna's head as the wolf sat down beside of her.

"Yes he is and in time he might come to you with his hurt but until then you cannot act like you know anything. You do have some things to think about though, Allie. You do not love Gavin. Not the way you love Jack. And Gavin loves you but not in the unconditional and true way that Jack does. You have to decide if you are going to settle for a life with Gavin or try to make one with Jack and all of his faults and demons."

"What do you think I should do?" Allie asked. Hawke shrugged.

"Whatever you feel is right. It is late and I am tired. Do not stay up too late." With that Hawke walked back toward the cabin.

"Gee thanks, Hawke." Allie said sarcastically. She thought she had spoken quietly enough that he wouldn't hear her but she saw his shoulders shake with silent laughter.