I sat between to Yejun and Seungbin, quietly and observingly.

I'd been so nervous all morning and all day for this moment.

It was my first time hanging out with my brother's and my friend group since he left. I'd been scared all morning that I might not like seeing them all again or if I'd be sitting holding my tears back. I'd been nervous if I'd feel a constant hollowness inside my heart or if I'd get too many overwhelming flashbacks. Maybe they hadn't even missed me, maybe Yejun was lying just because she wanted me there—maybe the other's wouldn't.

We'd only been one big close friend group for a year before my brother died. The girls I had known for way longer, the boys not so much. So I was nervous that they'd grown accustomed to my absence and maybe didn't even want me back.

But I felt their smiles and words were genuine as soon as we started talking. My girl friends overwhelmed me with hugs while the guys smiled and a few of the ones I had been close to went to hug me as well.

I sat between the two people I'd felt the most comfortable around, beside my brother. It was a bittersweet feeling being back all together again. As I was nervous about, I felt that something was missing, yet unexpectedly I also felt a wholeness fill me. Though I missed my brother, it felt like these people made me happy in a way I hadn't noticed before now.

Honestly, I'd thought my brother was the reason I'd hung so much out with his friend group combined with mine, yet now I felt it wasn't only him, but all the people I enjoyed being with.

Maybe I shouldn't have pushed myself so far for so long. I'd missed these people as well, maybe that's why the hole in my heart had been so deep.

I knew my brother would smile seeing me now. I knew he'd only want for me to be with those who make me happy.

"I'm glad you're back." Seungbin said and I turned my head to face him.

We were in the middle of a Korean barbecue restaurant—we'd rented a big table. Some people were drinking and already started slanting in blurs and talking way too loud, making us the annoying costumers. It all reminded me of so many good memories, and now finally all of us were allowed to drink. The youngest of our friends, Mihae, turned 18 just after I stopped hanging out with them.

Seungbin was my brother's best friend. He'd been for long and I'd known him for long too. He and my brother met in highschool. They both were into soccer and despite Seungbin being one year older and a grade higher, they became best friends quickly. He'd felt like a second big brother sometimes, but I hadn't reached out to him since my brother passed. I loved him, but I was scared he would bring back too many memories.

"I'm too." I said, granting him a smile.

"You're really quiet." He remarked.

He looked at me with an intense eye contact, furrowing his brows as if he was worried. He probably was.

"I know I just... I'm just getting used to this again." I said, gesturing to the group and keeping my eyes on Byeongho who was currently busy telling a story he probably made up with big gestures and loud words. He was always the loudest one in the group—in a good way.

"I missed you cutie." He pinched my cheeks, making me slap his hands away.

"Stop that!" I scolded him but I couldn't help but laugh as I rubbed my sore cheeks.

We both turned to join the conversation again. Byeongho was indeed in the midst of a story, nobody seemed to believe anyway. Mihae kept interrupting and so did the others. Next to Seungbin, Charlie sat and on my other side next to Yejun, Hana sat. Across from us five sat Namgil, Mihae, Hyunae, Byeongho and then Taehyung.

It was weird how we were an even number in the friend group now. We always used to play quick games about who got to sit at the table end. Almost everybody wanted it, because that way you could see everyone all the time.

Now the table end was empty.

As my mind wandered, my eyes fell on Taehyung who sat quietly and listened to the other's talking.

I remembered Taehyung to be the one I knew the least about. He was a quiet boy, but he was always around. He was the same age as my brother. He was also the guy who my girl friends had talked the most about in the beginning of our combined friend group. They'd been head over heels for him—and understandably so—he had smooth, wavy black hair, a defined jawline and a perfect facial structure. There was not one single finger to put on his look, but he was quiet and the girls and my brief crush quickly faded.

He could be funny, despite his quietness. He tended to say things that would make us all laugh while he didn't draw a mine. 

"Take a shot with me Y/n." Hyunae who sat right across from me spoke and started pouring up her glass. She was clearly done with Byeongho's story.

"Give me one as well." Charlie said and extended the shot glass in his hand for Hyunae to poor soju into.

I looked at the bottle as Hyunae poured the alcohol into Charlie's glass. It left a bad taste in my mouth, though I hadn't even tasted it yet.

"Y/n?" Hyunae said, making me snap out of my stare. She'd extended her hand for me to give her my glass.

I didn't want to drink. I had been drinking for three months to cut off my emotions. I didn't exactly remember drinking just for fun and I didn't feel like doing it. Alcohol had been my medicine, but recently something else had replaced it—well, more like someone.

I gently shook my head, "It's fine, I'll pass." I smiled. 

She wrinkled her nose and Namgil and Hyunae who were looking at us did too. But they didn't ask further.

The evening went by quickly. While I'd been so nervous about it, they were so sweet to me and actually not any different than what I remembered. After the first few minutes, they already acted as I knew them. And with that I mean, they didn't give me pitying looks or asked me anything about my brother. I was grateful for that, it kept me from thinking stupid and depressing thoughts.

It was late and we all parted ways outside the restaurant. Mihae was black out drunk I would say. She even had trouble standing and Yejun and Namgil had to help her get home. Seungbin was also busy helping Byeongho who'd been Mihae's drinking partner. Hana and Charlie lived close so they went together.

As I waved goodbye and turned around, I felt a fog roll over me and enter my head. I suddenly felt the sadness come back as I walked down the streets alone, still able to hear my friends' voices behind me. 

I was used to have my brother by my side now. His arm would've been wrapped around my shoulders and squeezing me into him teasingly. He would chuckle and talk about how he'd never get as drunk as them and 'neither should I'.

Most of the time, when he didn't drink, he brought his car so we wouldn't have to walk home.

It was always fun driving with my brother. He would speed sometimes randomly making a rush of adrenaline course through both my and his body. I always loved it when he did so. The tickling feeling always made me laugh and he did as well. We listened to loud music and always argued about what songs because we had different taste in music. It was always an ecstatic feeling when we took a detour home after a night out with fiends.

And that was what killed him in the end.

Now I was alone and I didn't have a car, so walking was my only option.

"Y/n, wait." A deep voice behind me sounded as well as running footsteps.

I turned around and saw Taehyung coming towards me.

I showed him a smile, but stayed quiet as I observed his body coming closer. What did he want and why did he approach me? I had never had a full on completed conversation with him.

Maybe, he was simply curious about how I was feeling since my brother left. He'd been more quiet today than usually. I thought this might've been the first time I heard his voice that evening.

He stopped a few feet away from me. He tilted his head slightly as his hand reached to entangle his fingers in the back of his hair.

"Are you walking home alone?" He questioned.

The question took me aback somehow, being that Taehyung had never approached me before.

I nodded and murmured.

"At this time? Isn't that dangerous?" He said.

It was weird how his eyebrows knit slightly together and his brown eyes felt deep and captivating. It puzzled me. He showed his smile, that being very boxy, which I didn't remember cause he did not smile much as far as I had experienced. However, his smile was charming and it made me ease up a bit and forget my prejudges about him being a grey, moody and serious person.

"What, you want to follow me home?" I let out a chuckle, speaking in jokes.

"Yes." He replied, still smiling, but I sensed the seriousness of his personality. I tensed, and stopped smiling. It weirded me out.

"Well, only if you're okay with it." He added.

I didn't think about it for long as I liked to avoid any sign of hesitation and making the situation awkward. So I just turned around and motioned for him to keep up.

I guess I was kind of intrigued why he had suddenly approached me.

I had never really payed much attention to why he was quiet. I had never asked my brother nor anyone else and nobody ever talked about it. We'd all just gotten familiarized with his position as the quiet one in the group, who every now and then would speak up and make all of us laugh.

We walked down the street slowly, heading towards a park I had to get through to get to my street quicker. Taehyung followed quietly by my side. He didn't say anything, which didn't surprise me, but I expected he had something to say as he'd offered to walk me home. Or maybe, he just didn't want me to go home by myself, as he said.

"So, where do you live?" I spoke, breaking the silence between us.

The tall guy next to me let out a low chuckle, bending his head backwards and gazing up at the sky. I wrinkled my nose at his reaction, but observed it quietly.

"It's funny you ask me that when we've known each other for two full years." He said, turning to look at me.

I looked away immediately as he did so. I thought about it and it was—even though we'd only hung out for a bit over a year.

"Yeah, I guess we were in two different ends of the friend group." I replied also letting out a chuckle.

"I live just a 5 minute walk that way approximately." He said and pointed to the opposite direction we were going in.

"Oh," I breathed, following the direction of his pointed finger, "You don't have to walk me home you know." I said.

Taehyung looked back at me, laughing, "I want to make sure you get home safe."

"Why?" I asked bluntly.

It was an honest answer, because why would he care about me? Yes, we'd 'known' each other for about two years, but this was the longest—and first—time I'd ever spent with him alone. 

Was it because he knew my brother wasn't there for me anymore? If so, it still puzzled me as my brother never talked about Taehyung as one of his closest friends, just one in the group.

"It's my choice." He stated with a steady voice.

I nodded and gulped, looking down at the path we were walking down.

The certainty and confidence in his voice intrigued me. Why did it feel like he felt so comfortable around me? Why was he so different right now than what I had experienced up until now?

My phone buzzed and I grabbed my phone from my bag.

"Who's texting you at this hour?" Taehyung asked as I brought the phone to my face. 

I looked at him shortly, minding his curiosity, but quickly shrugging it off.

I looked back at my phone and unlocked it before replying.

It's Jimin.

My heart fluttered immediately just by his name with the kissy face emoji next to it popping up on my screen.

"Just someone I know."

Jimin😘: Are you getting home safely, do you want me to pick you up?

I bit myself in the lip, trying not to smile too bright. My body grew hot as I felt nervous though he was not even present right now.

"Come on, who is it." Taehyung said in a joking voice, yet somehow I could sense the seriousness again, "You're smiling."

I looked up at him and saw him eyeing my messages. I locked my phone as I saw.

"Sorry, I'm just a very curious person." He said as he noticed my reaction.

I let my shoulders fall, "It's fine..." I let out a big breath and gave him a smile, "It's just a guy... not a lot of people know about him, I'm being a bit attentive, sorry." I rambled.

Taehyung shrugged and faced away from me. I pulled out my phone and quickly replied.

Me: It's fine, I'm being escorted by someone.

Me: Thank you though

Jimin😘: Someone? A boy?

I subconsciously let out a chuckle. I could read his jealousy through the phone, yet I knew how if I was face to face with him, he'd act cool as if he wasn't bothered the slightest.

"Which way?" Taehyung spoke, gaining my attention.

I looked up from my phone and pointed in the direction of my house.

"So, how are you feeling?" Taehyung spoke again.

His question caught me off guard, but I softly accepted the question and put away my phone to answer. After all, it wasn't fair I was texting while he'd kindly offered to follow me home.

Surprisingly, for the rest of the walk home our conversation went smoothly. Taehyung was actually a really kind and tender-hearted guy and I felt his genuine personality as we kept talking. I would've almost called it a shame he was such a quiet guy.

"Thank you for making sure I arrived home safely." I thanked him genuinely.

Though I didn't know much about him, it felt nice not having to walk home alone as I had expected. I actually got the impression that he was maybe just shy in bigger groups and I actually saw why my brother and him were in the same friend group.

"Anytime." He showed me another one of his boxy smiles.

He stood there still, as I waited for him to go but he didn't. He probably wanted me to go first.

"It was a nice talk." I said, preparing to turn around and approach my front door.

"You looked beautiful tonight." Taehyung spoke bluntly.

It made me stop in my tracks as he spoke the words. He waved briefly before turning around and leaving.

"Thank you.." I muttered hesitantly, watching his form get farther and farther away.

That was weird, I thought to myself as I decided to turn around and enter my house. 

But I had a feeling that Taehyung maybe just was a weird person. A weird, kind-hearted, funny, serious and quiet guy... and a bit mysterious too.

a.n.

yayyy, Taehyung is here too!!