Vampire Vicki wasn't hard to track.

And Stefan, Damon and I were all on the case to track down the vampire newbie.

Especially when we saw her try to kill a kid named Tyler Lockwood, her ex-boyfriend and Matt's best friend.

"Vicki! What's wrong with you? Vic!"

Tyler fell out of his car as Vicki mounted him, tilting his head to the side and about to drink when I grabbed her by her waist, pulling her off of him. "Let go of me!" Vicki growled.

"Sure thing," I said simply, pushing her into Stefan's arms as Tyler scurried off the ground, trying to run when Damon was blocking his way.

He looked back at Stefan, Vicki and me. "What's going on here, Stefan? Kaylin, what's wrong with her?"

"You don't talk," Damon said.

Tyler looked back at him. "Screw you, dude."

I tried not to laugh.

"'Dude'? Really? 'Dude'?" Damon asked.

"Damon, don't," Stefan warned.

"Oh, come on. Who's gonna miss this idiot?"

"I can name a few," I said. For one, Matt, Vicki . . . I couldn't come up with anyone else.

Then I watched as Tyler swung his arm back, punching him straight to his face.

When Damon gave him a look that was meant to kill, Vicki growled, "Oh! Don't you hurt him!"

Gripping Tyler by his throat, Damon started his compulsion. "Forget what you saw here tonight. None of us were here."

As Damon threw Tyler over his own car, all of us disappeared before he even hit the ground, and I knew he wouldn't remember a thing.

Damon, Vicki, Stefan and I were all up in Stefan's room as I sat down next to her on a chair, Stefan sitting across from us and Damon sittimg at Stefan's desk behind us, and I handed her the phone. "Here, call Matt and tell him you're okay."

"What's with you?" Vicki asked.

"High on power that she's not used to," Damon answered for me, holding the pocketwatch/vampire compass Logan Fell had yesterday that had originally belonged to Johnathan Gilbert back in 1864, and reading the newspaper. "Blood from the vein is a lot more powerful than the blood bags she drinks. And killing someone, taking it all in one dose?" Damon shook his head tauntingly. "Phew."

"Thanks, Damon," I said sarcastically. I looked back at Vicki. "Just call Matt."

She nodded, already dialing the number and putting it to her ear.

"Yeah?" Matt answered.

Was it bad that my heart jumped?

"Matty?" Vicki asked.

"Vicki, where are you? Are you okay?"

She nodded even though he couldn't see her. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"Tell me where you are and I'll come get you."

"No. Matty, I just need some time to figure things out. Just know that I'm okay, okay? Please don't worry about me." She disconnected the line and looked at Stefan. "I don't understand why I have to stay cooped up here. Why can't I just go home?"

"Because you're changing, Vicki, and it's not something you wanna do alone," Stefan said.

"There's nothing about that Logan guy Kaylin killed in here, not a word," Damon said, still holding the newspaper as he picked up the pocketwatch vampire compass. "Someone's covering it up."

Vicki looked at the pocketwatch curiously. "What is that?"

"This is a very special, very old compass," Damon answered. He looked at me and Stefan. "What was Logan Fell doing with it? Aren't you curious?"

I sighed a big sigh, saying with a cute shrug and saying with an edge of annoyance and sass, "Well, if you're so worried that somebody's onto you, why don't you just leave town, Damon?"

"We should all be worried."

"Hey, um, I'm hungry," Vicki said. "Do you have anything to eat?"

Stefan stood up and grabbed a green cup, walking back and holding it out to Vicki. "Here."

She took it, asking, "What is it?"

He sat back down as he answered, "It's what you're craving."

"Heh, don't lie to the girl," Damon said. "It's so not what you're craving, but it'll do in a pinch, right, Stef?"

"What is it?" Vicki repeated with more curiousity.

"Yeah, what is it?" Damon asked. "Is it skunk? Saint Bernard? Bambi?"

Vicki sniffed at it until Stefan said, "Go on, give it a try."

"She's new," Damon said as she took a sip. "She needs people blood. She can't sustain on that stuff. Hell, even Kaylin's diet is better than yours."

"Yeah, why can't I have people blood?" Vicki asked.

"Yeah."

"Because it's wrong to pray on innocent people, Vicki," Stefan said.

"You don't have to kill to feed," Damon said. "Just find someone really tasty and then erase their memory afterwards. It's so easy."

Vicki smiled, taking another sip of the animal blood as I watched as Stefan played angel and Damon played devil's advocates.

"No, no, no," Stefan said. "There's no guarantee that you can control yourself, okay? It takes years to learn that. You could easily kill somebody, and then you have to carry that with you for the rest of your life, which I haven't made clear, is eternity."

"Don't listen to him," Damon said as Vicki took another sip of the animal blood. "He walks in a moral plane way out of our eyeline. That's why I like Kaylin better. She's neutral to the subject." Vicki looked at me and I shrugged. "I say, snatch, eat, erase."

"Hey, look at me," Stefan told Vicki. "We choose our own path. Our values and our actions, they define who we are."

I got seriously bored of listening to them. "Okay, Count Deepak. Enough of the blood debate."

Damon smirked, standing up. "I am out of here."

He walked out and Vicki asked, "Can I have some more?"

She licked her fingers as Stefan stood up to go get some more, leaving the room, and I sighed, getting out the blood bag neither had noticed I had next to my leg and the arm of the couch-like chair Vicki and I sat on.

"You want people blood without killing or praying?" I asked, dropping it next to her. "There you go. No killing or praying necessary."

Vicki smiled, taking it. "Awesome. Thanks."

"Yep."

Then her smile disappeared as she looked at me. "You never hurt Matt, did you?"

"Of course, not," I said. "In fact, after killing Logan, I doubt it'll be soon that I'm in a crowded place like school."

"What's that mean?"

How to explain it? "Well . . . It's,harder to control yourself in a public, crowded place. You hear their hearts pumping blood their veins, and when you're new, blood is all you think about, so . . . It's easier to give in. Or when you indulge in something you haven't been used to in a very long time."

"Like you killing Logan?" Vicki asked.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Is that why you're down today? Usually, you have this really cute, really adorable personality that makes you look like you know how to have fun, like to play games, and know how to get guys. But also a look of danger, like you would kick anyone's ass if necessary. Like sunshine with an edge of a dark cloud."

I smirked. "You mean like a heartbreaker?"

"Yeah."

"Well . . . When you're a vampire you experinece things more clearly. Everything about your personality's heightened, and you feel more powerfully. Like pain, love, lust . . . But it can blur into one urge."

"What's that?"

"Hunger."

Vicki looked down at the blood bag in her hand. "Oh."

"Hey, no need to worry about it," I said. "Just drink up. Stay strong. You'll get through this."

Vicki slowly looked back up. "You seem so sure."

I smiled a cute smile. "If I can get through this, you can."

Vicki smiled back until it slowly vanished. "I'll be back." She got up and started to head out of the room and toward the sound of Elena and Stefan talking. "How long is that?"

"We can talk about that later," Stefan told her.

"Hey, Vicki," Elena said. "How are you?"

I rolled my eyes at her stupid question, shaking my head.

"How am I?" Vicki repeated. "You're kidding, right?"

As Stefan preeched to Vicki about coffee, I was in my room, getting a blood bag from my mini fridge. I was still leaning down, the door open, with the blood bag in my hand, me looking down at it, just feeling it.

After tasting Logan's blood, feeding until he died, my system didn't want the power lacking blood from the plastic pouch. It wanted the real thing, from the vein, to experinece the power of it, revel in it, to be all that I could be as a vampire . . .

I had no limits, only principles, and my principles said that I didn't need to kill to be a vampire, even though that urge was always there, buried, controlled.

So I fought against the urge and stood, closing the mini-fridge door, walking to the table in my room that had the glass cups, starting to pour the contents of the red liquid inside.

I put the pounch on the table and started to lift my glass to my lips when I knew Stefan was behind me, at the door, not making a sound. If I had been human, I wouldn't have know.

"At least it's a blood bag and not a blonde  . . . Or brunette," I said without turning around.

"Can we, uh, talk?" Stefan asked.

"Spill." I took a sip and turned, then hummed, "Hmm." I took the blood filled glass away. "Wait, let me guess." I smiled a tiny smile that wasn't even a smile . . . If that made any sense. Then I pointed at him with the hand that had the glass. "You think I'm on edge from the power boost of Logan's blood."

"Well, you did take it in all at once," Stefan pointed out. "You were angry, hungry, hadn't fed in a couple days, and when you saw that he was going to kill me, you killed him instead. You're not used to that much power all at once." I took another sip of the blood, waiting for him to stop his speech. "It's just--Right now is not a good time for you to be on edge, especially with people we don't know knows about vampires, and most of all, Vicki."

I smiled a tight smile. "The smart, caring, broody Salvatore worried about his baby sis. Tsk. What else is new?" Stefan leaned his head forward a little. I gave him an exasperated sigh. "Stefan, I'm fine. I'm gonna be fine. It won't take long for me to get back on track."

Then we heard Vicki say from downstairs, " . . .and I won't think twice about ripping your little head off. You got it?"

Elena coughed, and Stefan was gone in less than a second.

And I heard Vicki out in the hall.

Still having my glass in hand, I walked out of my room and into the hall. "Vicki--"

"Don't start with the whole 'be nice to Elena' thing," Vicki cut me off. "She pissed me off. First, breaking Matt's heart, and then telling me I can't see Jeremy?"

I smirked, looking down at the glass of blood in my hand. "All I was gonna say was, 'You want some human blood?'"

"Oh," she said awkwardly. "Yes."

She took the drink and and drowned it down while I chuckled.

Then she handed it back with a smile on her face.

"Kay," Damon called to me in my room. "You're as bad as Vicki, being cooped up all day. You killed one guy, you'll bounce back soon. Let's go."

"Tempting," I said, walking out of my room. "Really . . . Tempting."

"Then let's go."

I smiled, walking down with them when Stefan tried to stop us in the downstairs hall. "What are you doing?"

"She's been cooped up in your room all day," Damon said, talking about Vicki, as we walked past. "She's not Anne Frank."

As Damon started to open the door, Stefan put his hand in the way. "No, no, no. Hey, hey . . . Now's not the time for this."

"If you're gonna teach her, teach her. Show her what it's all about."

"She could hurt someone."

"He's not taking her to Disneyland," I complained. "We're going to the front yard."

"Come on," Damon said, opening the door.

Vicki squeezed past, then Damon, then Stefan, then me.

"Bad idea, Damon," Stefan said.

"She's a vampire, Stefan," I told him. "She should know the perks."

Vicki stopped walking, facing us. "Like what?"

"Like . . ." I trailed off, standing in front of her before I thought of standing behind her, and then I really was standing behind her before anyone could blink, and she looked around cluelessly, amazed.

I tapped on her shoulder and she spun. "Woah. How did you do that?"

Stefan tilted his head while Damon smirked, and then I was in the spot I had been two seconds ago, Vicki looking around again.

I whistled and she spun around again, laughing.

"Come on, Vicki," Damon said. "Live a little. No pun intended."

Vicki took a running start before she disappeared, literally disappearing.

Stefan and Damon came to stand on either side of me, leaves rustling from behind us, all of us turning at the same time, then turning back.

Yeah, I shouldn't have taught her that.

"Uh . . ." I trailed off. "Tsk. My bad."

"I'm going to her house, see if she's there," Stefan said.

"Bye," Damon said nonchalantly.

While Stefan had gone, I tracked Vicki to the school. It was Halloween, and there was a big costumed-theme party.

I was trying to find her while avoiding being distracted by human heart beats pulsing people's blood through their veins when I heard Matt call my name.

"Kaylin." He jogged up to me in a doctor's costume, covered in "blood", and he had a fake foot on his hand. His smile was bright, and the secrets with Vicki, his sister, I had to keep from him  . . . It just made me guilty when he looked so happy to see me. "Where've you been?"

"Busy," I answered half-truthfully, sighing. "Really . . . Busy."

"Hey, what's the deal with your brother and my sister?" Matt asked. "Vicki said he won't leave her alone, but Elena and Stefan are saying he's just trying to help."

"That's 'cause he is trying to help," I told him. "Where are they?"

I started to leave him when he said, "Wait--What's going on, Kaylin? Why won't anybody tell me what's wrong?"

"Matt, it's okay," I said, lying to him unbelivably, and I knew I looked guilty. "Just--"

Concern had already filled his expression before I had cut myself off, shaking my head hopelessly and looking away. "Are you okay?"

I took in a deep breath, shaking my head. How could one 17 human star-quarterback have such an effect on a 161 vampire? I had a queasy feeling in my stomach, but it also felt good at the same time. I knew I wasn't sick. I was a vampire, and vampires didn't get sick. So . . . What was wrong with me? To answer my question and his, I said, "I have no idea."

"Hey," he said, stepping closer and taking my hands. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said even though it was obvious it wasn't nothing. "Nothing."

Just being this close to him .  . . I didn't even know what I was feeling right then. Guilt, definitely. I couldn't tell him the truth, not yet. Not until I knew it was safe for him to know. I knew I was on edge from killing Logan, but it was more than that. I had only gotten the queasy but good feeling when I had seen Matt, the second I had heard his voice say my name.

I didn't know what love felt like, and I didn't know if this was what it was. I didn't want him to be fully in my life, because around me, people got hurt and they died. Damon hurt or killed them. I was a vampire, he was a human. It wasn't going to work, just ask Stefan and Elena. I didn't want any of this in his life.

But I knew one thing.

I wanted him in a way that argued with everything that I had just thought.

With his blue eyes that you could literally drown in, blonde, short and tousled hair, cute little smile but his eyes a little concerned and confused--concerned and confused for me . . . It was nearly impossible to not want him, the All-American, 17-year-old star quarterback.

And by the look in his eyes, I knew he wanted me too.

I didn't even know what I was doing, leaning forward until he met me half-way, his soft, warm, lips touching mine.

The more he kissed me, the more I started to kiss back, my fingers weaving themselves through his hair, trying to pull him closer.

The blood lust? It was gone now. Like it had dissolved the second his lips touched mine.

I was relaxed. Me again. It was like I forgot why I was even at the school in the first place.

I pulled away for a second, opening my eyes, looking up at him with blue eyes similar to his, only icy, like Damon's, and Matt's eyes were like oceananic blue. Both of us had blonde hair, and he opened his eyes with a similar lust look in his eyes that I was sure I had in mine, both of us sharing a tiny smile that said we wanted more.

So I leaned back in and pressed my lips back against his, and it was like the first time all over again, but even better.

(Sleep Alone by Bats for Lashes is still playing)

Then I heard Stefan's voice. "Kaylin."

I pulled away again, opening my eyes as Matt did, and he looked at me in confusion to my sudden change. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I answered, looking behind him to where Stefan was a few feet back.

"Vicki's dead," he said.

Oh.

Something inside of me broke. While I had been here, with Matt, Vicki had been dying.

His sister.

And all the things I had thought, all of the reasons I had wanted for him to stay out . . . They came back all too suddenly.

I looked back at Matt with slightly wide eyes. "What is it?" Matt asked, completely oblivious.

And that's what be needed to be.

In the dark.

He was only going to end up hurt if he was wanting to be in my world.

This world was just going to destroy him. He had already told me about his mother never being around, and he just lost his sister without even knowing it. I took a deep breath, knowing what I had to do.

"Around me . . . " I started, only to trail off, hating what I was about to do but knowing it was the only thing I could do to keep him safe, from getting hurt. "People get hurt, Matt. It's just a part of what I am. I . . ." I let out a shaky breath. "I can't let you get hurt, too."

"What are you--?" Matt started to ask.

I leaned forward and cut him off with a gentle kiss, my hands resting on his cheeks, the kiss gentle but passionate.

Third kiss, third time's the charm.

When I pulled away, I opened my eyes and looked into his, my hands still resting on his cheeks. "You're not gonna remember this. You're not gonna remember how you started to feel about me. We hung out a few times, but . . . All you ever felt about me was the pity for the new girl you wanted to show around, made sure she wasn't alone. You still feel the same about everything you felt about before I ever showed. 'Cause it's the only way to keep you safe."

I closed my eyes, knowing I was going to hate myself for that later.

I could take it all back, I thought. Make him feel okay about everything because that's what you want.

But that was selfish. In the end, Matt would end up hurt or worse.

I couldn't let that happen.

I let my hands slid gently off of his cheeks, walking away from him and toward Stefan, only looking back to see Matt blink with surprise, not knowing what just happened, but I knew that I had just reorganized each of his memories of me.

And I hated it.

I didn't go to Elena's with Stefan and Jeremy.

I went home.