summary: Sasuke and Naruto's bond surpasses time and space, so Sasuke feels it when his old friend slips from this world. The effect is world shattering.

age: mid 30's.

category: angst with a semi-not-terribly-sad ending.

note: I'm sorry :) below are some lyrics that remind me of this one shot, both are by the Neighborhood, and the title comes from Freaks by Surf Curse so that's an indication of the mood, my friends

<>

We should stick together
You're my best friend, I'll love you forever
We could be the greatest, it doesn't matter if we're never rich or famous

<>

Could you tell me where to go?
You're always there to help me when I'm down
I'm lucky you've been keeping me around
You're the star I look for every night
When it's dark, you'll stick right by my side

I've got something to confess
I keep you in my pocket to use
You're my only compass
I might get lost without you

<>

"Hey, Sasuke?"

Sasuke looked over at his friend from across Sakura's head. Their female teammate was spread out between them, sleeping on her stomach. Cute. Sasuke withdrew his attention from her, instead sitting up and focusing on Naruto, who was laying with his hands cradling his head, staring at the stars.

"Nani?" Sasuke asked shortly.

"What do you think happens when we die?" Naruto asked, this rare moment of seriousness throwing Sasuke off guard.

Sasuke wasn't even sure how to answer him. He viewed death differently now than he used to. Sasuke lay back again, also staring up at the stars. "Why do you want to know?"

"I dunno. I was just thinking." Naruto replied. He sounded far away. He clearly hadn't stopped thinking about whatever was on his mind.

Funny, four years ago Sasuke would swear up and down that Naruto couldn't think. "About what?" Sasuke asked absently, eyes roaming the night sky, identifying constellations that his brother taught him.

"Well... a lot of people I know have died. My parents, old man Third, Jiraiya, Neji..." Naruto's voice held a touch of fresh pain, even though those deaths had happened a while ago.  "And I was just thinking... I wonder what happened to them."

Sasuke hummed, thinking. The two sat in a long silence for a few moments before Sasuke spoke again. "My brother told me once that he thought once our spirits reach heaven, they peek down from the sky and watch us, until we join them one day and watch over our own people. Itachi told me that that is what the stars are, and that's why they burn out eventually. It might take millions of years, but when someone has no one left to watch, they release their star."

"That's beautiful." Sasuke could feel Naruto's smile from all the way across the camp.

"I don't know if it's true or not, but it's certainly a beautiful thought." Sasuke agreed.

"I hope it's true." Naruto's voice sounded fond. "I want to be a star one day."

"Ahh, but you won't join the stars yet. You still have to become Hokage." Sasuke reminded his friend, rolling his eyes.

"Duh." Naruto snorted. "But I'm just saying... when I die, I'd want to watch my family and friends live."

"Really?" Sasuke asked, eyebrows raising in interest. "It wouldn't be painful to you? Watching them live the life you missed out on?"

"No. Because if I died, I died protecting them. And their happiness and their future is worth my life." Naruto said.

"You don't think you'll die of old age?" Sasuke asked, shoulders suddenly stiffening.

Naruto was silent for a moment. Sasuke resisted the urge to peek over Sakura to see if he was still awake. Finally he responded. "I think that we still have a long life ahead of us, and there's always gonna be someone upset about something. So I wouldn't be surprised if I don't die of old age. Besides, I'm going to be Hokage. I'm not naive, I'm not under the impression that things are gonna be perfect forever, 'ttebayo. I'm gonna have to make some hard decisions."

Sasuke tried not to let his surprise show on his face, because Naruto couldn't see him, but Sasuke had a feeling that Naruto had a sensor for every time he impressed Sasuke.

"But if I don't die of old age, can you promise me..."

Sasuke sat up this time, looking over at Naruto again. Naruto sat up too, this time, meeting Sasuke's eyes for the first time in a while. They were shining.

"If I don't make it to be an old man with you and Sakura-chan, can you promise me that you'll all be happy?"

"What?" Sasuke knew plenty of death, and he knew that he and Sakura wouldn't be feeling anything close to happiness in a long time if Naruto died.

"It's not like I'll really be gone." Naruto grinned his mega watt smile, giving Sasuke a thumbs up, as if that was supposed to make everything better. "You just have to remember that I'll be watching you. Then I'm always with you."

"You're not even dead yet, dumbass." Sasuke scoffed.

"Yeah, I'm just covering all my bases." Naruto shrugged, before he laid down again to go to sleep this time. "You guys mean a lot to me."

Sasuke glared at Naruto's back. I don't care what you say. I'll make sure that you'll make it to be an old man. You'll be older than Lord Third, and still kicking.

Some deep, echoing part of Sasuke that he had shoved deep down, knew that wasn't true. Naruto already was a star- he shined so bright that everyone knew he was destined for something more.

<>

When Kurama was killed, Sasuke had a bad feeling. When the sickness started taking him, Sasuke had a worse feeling.

Now Naruto was bedridden, and Sasuke had failed. His secret mission to keep his friend alive was foiled because of Isshiki. When Kurama was removed, the chakra sickness was free to take over. It went rampant.

Isshiki Otsutsuki had been killed for now, and that was a relief. Sakura was working tirelessly day and night to keep Naruto alive. Even Tsunade had come out of retirement to help her. Shikamaru had taken over the Hokage's duties. Sasuke had become Sarada's main caretaker, now, and somehow he'd become Boruto and Himawari's too. It wasn't a problem for either the kids or Sasuke. Hinata was always at the hospital, understandably never wanting to leave her husband's side.

Sasuke focused on the kids so he wouldn't focus on the fear. He trained with Boruto, he drew pictures with Himawari, he read quietly with Sarada. All three of the kids cried at night when they thought they wouldn't be heard.

Sasuke waited.

And finally, during their last visit, Naruto had a resigned smile on his face. Hinata had left the room to freshen up, taking the kids with her. They'd already spent all morning and afternoon with their dad. Sarada was asking her mother questions. It was now only Naruto and Sasuke in the room.

His friend looked sickly, nothing like the strong figure of vitality, joy, and youth that he usually was. His cheekbones had become more defined during his stay at the hospital. Dark circles had appeared beneath the baby blue eyes. His normally tanned skin had paled.

But his blue eyes still shined.

"So." Naruto said, his croaky voice sounding slightly amused.

"So." Sasuke replied flatly, crossing his arm. "You're going to let some petty sickness take you out?"

Naruto laughed. It was like a breath of fresh air, the sweet sound of spring after a long winter. But then it was broken up by coughing. Sasuke reached forward and grabbed Naruto's shoulder to anchor the Hokage as the coughs wracked his frame.

"It's a pretty stupid way to go out, huh?" Naruto laughed quietly, still his merry self despite his predicament.

"Then don't." Sasuke challenged him. "The history books will say, the Great 7th Hokage Naruto Uzumaki- the person who defeated Pain, Madara, changed Obito and helped seal away a powerful goddess. The Hokage who did all of those things and protected Konoha from Kaguya's relatives died because of a little chakra sickness."

"Shut up," Naruto snickered. "At least it won't say, 'formerly a student of Orochimaru'."

"Fuck you." Sasuke snorted. At this point, it had become a joke. Sasuke would insult Naruto, and Naruto would bring up the snake Sannin.

"At least I didn't get a death hickey and go crazy for a while."

"At least I didn't attack a Kage Summit."

"At least I didn't have duckass hair."

And Sasuke would reply,

"At least I didn't wear a hideous orange jumpsuit into adulthood."

"At least I knew how to check for spoiled milk, and didn't have a diet that consisted of almost only ramen."

"How are the kids?" Naruto asked, even though he'd just seen his children and his niece. The kids generally meant all three of them- it had been like this since they were born. They were a unit, and had always been together because of how close Naruto, Hinata, Sakura and Sasuke had always been.

Sasuke gave him a small smirk. "They're tough."

"How are they really?"

Boruto was in denial. He kept a genuine smile on his face during the first few weeks, confident that his father would recover and be out of the hospital before a month went by. But the weeks passed, and the dread had slowly begun to creep up on him until all that was left was a ghost of his smile.

Himawari had a feeling from the beginning. She'd been mourning him for weeks. Hima was incredibly in tune with her parents, so she knew exactly what her mother's drawn face and her father's extra bright smile meant. She cried for hours every day, and spent every minute hugging her father. Naruto hadn't let her go during every one of their visits, and she had to be pried away from him to leave.

Sarada hadn't quite believed it at first. She'd been raised believing that her uncle was unbeatable. He was the Hokage, the powerful reincarnation of Asura Otsutsuki. Naruto was infallible in her eyes. This sickness had knocked her uncle off the unreachable pedestal she'd held him on, and Sasuke knew that Sarada was holding onto the broken pieces of the pedestal, the fear of losing her uncle practically choking her every day.

Sasuke did his best to be there for them, but he was also being choked by his own fear of losing his best friend. He knew he wasn't doing a good job of comforting them, but then again, Boruto, Himawari and Sarada were about to lose their figure of light. There was nothing that could be done to make them feel better.

Sasuke gave Himawari huge hugs to remind her that he was there for her, because physical touch was her love language. She laughed with what was left of her joy when he did that, because he was always so awkward, but appreciated it anyway. Himawari was an angel. Sasuke spent hours with Boruto, because quality time was his love language. Every night he sat with Sarada, letting her talk out her feelings. He listened, and hugged his daughter, because he didn't know what to do. Hearing her pain was almost worse than just knowing it was there.

The entire household was in the same boat.

"They're not doing well." Sasuke confessed, and this felt like a betrayal of the kids, because he knew that they hadn't wanted Naruto to know how truly badly they were doing. He refused to feel bad, though.

Sasuke hadn't lied to Naruto in twenty years, and he wasn't going to start now. 

"Huh," Naruto said, before sighing. "I guess that's to be expected."

"Has Kakashi visited you yet?" Sasuke asked, even though he knew the answer. He wanted to change the subject before he gave up any more of the kids' secrets.

"I see what you're doing, but I'll bite. Kakashi has visited me every day." Naruto crossed his arms over his chest suspiciously.

"That's out of character for him," Sasuke blinked in surprise.

"I mean, it's not every day that your student is dying." Naruto reasoned.

An uncharacteristic thread of anger snapped somewhere in him, and Sasuke gritted his teeth to keep from saying something that could hurt Naruto. Of course Naruto saw it. Naruto knew him better than anyone except maybe Sakura.

"Spit it out, then," Naruto sat up and leaned against his bed frame.

"I'm pissed at you."

"Why?" Naruto asked, sounding amused.

"You want to die." Sasuke accused, coming closer to Naruto's bed and glaring at him.

"Of course I don't want to die," Naruto reeled, offended. "I'm just accepting of my inevitable fate."

"Cut the bullshit." Sasuke crossed his arm over his chest. "You're not fighting this the way you normally would."

"I fought it from the beginning, Sasuke." Naruto smiled sadly. "I'm fighting it now."

Sasuke bit his lip to keep silent, turning his face away from Naruto.

"Do you think I want to leave my kids? My wife? You, Kakashi and Sakura?" Naruto asked, clearly not looking for an answer. "I don't. I've been fighting this entire time. I'm just..." Naruto released a deep breath.

All of the sudden, Naruto's cheerful exterior fell, and Sasuke saw exactly how Naruto felt. There was fear and anguish in his blue eyes, so prominent that Sasuke couldn't believe he hadn't seen it before. And beyond that, beyond the unbelievable sadness, Sasuke saw a weariness. Naruto was tired. So tired of being cheerful, of laughing and smiling, so tired of acting like he'd be fine.

An uncontrollable lump grew in Sasuke's throat, and he blinked rapidly, looking away again before he started crying in front of his brother.

"I don't want to go, Sasuke," Naruto's voice cracked. "You've gotta believe me."

Sasuke nodded, incapable of words. He didn't have to look at Naruto to know that his friend was finally tearing up. For the first time, Naruto was expressing his real feelings about his situation. He had held himself together in front of his family and Sakura, but Naruto knew that in front of Sasuke, he could break down. Sasuke was almost honored.

He beat down his own feelings. Sasuke was automatically uncomfortable in emotionally charged situations, and damn if this wasn't one of them, but he didn't care. There was no way he was leaving now. Sasuke took a seat beside Naruto's bedside, where Hinata had spent many nights.

He was not going to leave Naruto when he needed him- he wasn't going to run away from his emotions anymore. Sasuke needed to be there for Naruto, like Naruto had always, without missing a day been there for him.

Sasuke extended a hand and grabbed Naruto's, squeezing it tightly to remind his friend that he wasn't alone.

Naruto's blinding smile returned, but it held a melancholy tint to it. Tears were running down his face, so he used his other hand to wipe them, taking slow breaths to calm himself down.

"Do you remember what I told you a long time ago?" Sasuke asked, praying Naruto would ignore his breaking voice.

Naruto was kind. "You've told me a lot of things in our lifetime, Sasuke. You're gonna have to be more specific."

"About what happens when we die."

Naruto was silent. He remembered.

"My brother told me once that he thought once our spirits reach heaven, they peek down from the sky and watch us until we join them one day."

A small, genuine smile grew on Naruto's face. "That will be nice."

"You liked it back then, too," Sasuke recalled. "You said that you wouldn't make it to old age."

"It's funny how I've always had a feeling that I'd die young." Naruto shrugged. "I'm a little bit like Hashirama in that sense." He sighed. "I just wish I could see the Konoha sunset one more time."

"Yeah?" Sasuke asked, before an idea came to mind. "Well, it's almost sundown now. How are you feeling?"

Naruto snickered. "What's Sakura going to do when she comes back and I'm gone?"

"Kill us both." Sasuke answered, helping Naruto sit up and wrapping his arm around Naruto's shoulder. Naruto leaned heavily against him, and Sasuke's Sharingan turned on. He switched places with a rock on top of the hospital roof, and the two of them took seats at the edge of the rooftop, facing the sunset.

Naruto still leaned on Sasuke as they sat, but the light had returned to his face. The sun's final rays lit up Naruto's eyes and gave it the appearance of the same youthful glow he always used to have. Sasuke's own small smile appeared at the look of perfect contentment on his best friend's face.

The sun dropped over the Hokage Monument, illuminating the faces in a marvelous harmony of pinks, oranges and purples. It was the most beautiful sunset Sasuke had ever seen, and he'd seen plenty in his lifetime. The combination of the diaphanous golden rays sinking into the horizon and the brightly twinkling stars appearing above was beyond anything human imagination could think up.

It was like whoever was up there had made the sky their canvas just for Naruto's last sunset.

Sasuke couldn't help but use his Sharingan to record the moment, sealing into his memory Naruto's happy smile and the sun's golden symphony.

With his family's dōjutsu, it was ensured that Sasuke would never forget anything about Naruto. It was truly a tragedy that he couldn't pass this gift onto Naruto's family.

The idea that people will eventually forget Naruto's face didn't sit right with him.

"Oi, teme." Naruto punched him in the shoulder a lot softer than his punches used to be. "Pay attention to me. I'm not gonna be here forever, you know."

"Ursuratonkachi." Sasuke responded out of instinct, wiping his eyes distractedly. "Keep talking like that and I'm not going to your funeral."

Naruto gasped, faux offense practically oozing from him. "How dare you. I would go to your funeral even if you became a terrorist and tried to kill me. Oh wait."

"I hate you."

"Nah."

"Nah." Sasuke agreed, shaking his head in disbelief. He found the sudden urge to speak candidly. "I'll miss you forever."

That was part of it, and Naruto knew the rest. He knew what Sasuke was trying to say without him having to say it. You saved me. You're my brother. Please don't leave.

Naruto's eyes filled with tears, but that stupid smile stayed on his face. "I'll miss your moping around too."

"I'm trying to be honest, here, and you're making me regret my decision."

"Well, I already know what you have to say, because I feel the same." Naruto shrugged, shooting Sasuke a knowing look. "I know you're not comfortable with being verbally affectionate, so you don't have to be. I know what you mean."

"Thanks."

Considerate 'till the end. Sasuke rolled his eyes, an unimaginable sorrow building in his chest to the point where he thought he might have to excuse himself from this area to scream at the sky about how unfair it was.

You've taken almost everything from me, and now my best friend too?

"I can still feel you moping." Naruto laughed. "Can you just watch the sunset with me without overthinking for once in your life?"

Sasuke grimaced. "You're making it sound like we're a couple."

"Hey, I'm at my deathbed, if I want to watch the sunset with my side man I can. How would Hinata know?"

"No, I genuinely hate you." Sasuke groaned as Naruto laughed his ass off beside him, a kind of knee-slapping, roaring laughter. It was a miracle a nurse didn't catch them up there and scold Sasuke for bringing the Hokage up there.

Worse, his wife. Sakura had a tendency to catch mischief immediately. If Sakura found out that he'd taken Naruto, Sasuke would be six feet under before Naruto could so much as sneeze.

After twenty more minutes of silence, Sasuke leaned back and looked at the sky. The sun had sunken completely, and now it was just the two sitting and watching the night sky. "If you really do go to the stars, you'd better chose a really big and obnoxious star so that it matches you. That way we can look up and think, 'there he is, annoying in the afterlife just like he used to be.'"

"This is a toxic and abusive friendship. I'm the Hokage. Keep disrespecting me and I'll go downstairs and tell Tsunade you're bullying me. She'd be legally obligated to beat you up."

Sasuke snorted.

"SASUKE UCHIHA!"

Sasuke startled, sitting up right away. Naruto burst into laughter, and Sasuke watched as sure enough, Sakura punched open the hospital door, fuming, quickly walking over to where Naruto and Sasuke were sitting, prompting Sasuke to hurriedly turn on his Sharingan.

"YOU STOLE THE HOKAGE? ARE YOU A BASKET CASE?"

"Get him, Sakura!" Naruto cheered.

That backstabbing bastard. I brought him up here under pain of death, and he delivered me to my executioner. I am so not going to his funeral.

Sasuke shot him a glare, standing up. "I suddenly have incredibly important paperwork to do at home. Don't die without saying goodbye, Naruto," he ruffled Naruto's hair, the blonde snickering at Sasuke's hurry. "See you at home, tsume, tell the kids to get back before eleven or they're sleeping outside."

"YOU GET BACK HERE, SASUKE, I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!"

Sasuke blew her a kiss because he knew it would crack Naruto up, and disappeared.

"All these years and he's still an insufferable bastard." Sakura sighed, picking up her best friend without breaking a sweat, and carrying him bridal style back to his room.

"You married him, so that's poor decision making on your part, ya know."

-

Sasuke was minding his own business at home a few days after that when something changed.

There was something off about the air. Or... just the atmosphere, but something was wrong. It was like something fundamental, a cornerstone of life had been knocked over. Something was very obviously missing. A large chunk of something had been taken out from beneath their noses.

Sasuke had a gut feeling that it was Naruto. The dread pooled in his stomach and pulled him down so deep into the fear it felt like he was carrying weights, shackled to the pain that had begun to appear in his subconscious, like a bandaid that had been ripped off, and the pain had been delayed until now.

The kids were already at the hospital, but Sasuke had stayed behind to do some of Naruto's paperwork so Shikamaru wouldn't freak out about the amount of work.

Sasuke pushed back his chair and flash stepped to the hospital as fast as he could, making it there literally seconds after he got the bad feeling. He sprinted through the halls until he ended up in Naruto's room.

He knew immediately what had happened. Sakura was on the floor, on her knees, sitting against the closed door. Kakashi was sitting to her, a look of immense sorrow on his face. He was rubbing Sakura's back comfortingly. Sasuke regarded her with concern, crossing the room immediately. Tears were practically raining from her face. 

"A-anata-" she choked out, and Sasuke knelt beside her, gathering her into his chest and burying his face in her hair. Kakashi leaned back, and stared into space. Sasuke knew that Kakashi had disappeared into his own head and wouldn't be back for a while.

A little part of Sasuke still denied it- Sakura could just be having a mental breakdown. But the rational part of his brain knew that she wouldn't have done that in front of Naruto's door unless she physically could not make it any further.

"Sakura," Sasuke pulled back, wiping her hair and tears away from her eyes. "Is he still...?"

"H-he's gone." Sakura shook her head.

Sasuke sat down heavily on the floor, staring blankly at the closed door. Naruto isn't in there anymore.

"Hima and Boruto?" Sasuke asked, the parts if his brain that were barely functioning thinking of Naruto's children.

"In there, with Hinata." Sakura said, her voice choking up until she was crying again. "I can't believe..."

Sasuke nodded in agreement. "Sarada?"

"With T-Tsunade-sama."

"Okay." Sasuke took several deep breaths to steady himself. "Can I go in there?"

Sakura was incapable of any more words, so she just nodded. Sasuke pressed a kiss to her hair, and stood up, squeezing Kakashi's shoulder. In a surprising display of awareness, Kakashi reached up and squeezed Sasuke's hand back. Sakura scooted over, and he opened the door.

He didn't know what he expected- Naruto sitting on the bed, fully healed? Naruto sickly and pale, but smiling? Naruto laying sprawled on the hospital bed snoring? Or maybe none of those.

What he was greeted with was nowhere near any of those things. Himawari was sobbing uncontrollably, Boruto was staring numbly at his dad. Hinata had tears falling down her face, but Sasuke knew that she was minutes away from a proper breakdown.

Naruto was laying on the bed completely still. His tanned skin seemed especially pale, now. His blue eyes were closed. There was something about his body that screamed empty. He didn't look like he was sleeping, like everyone says it is. He looked very obviously not there.

Sasuke couldn't feel Naruto's aura, or presence. There was no massive, warm chakra emanating from the body in waves. It was just a body, laying on the bed like a marionette with cut strings.

It felt like someone had torn Sasuke in half and shoved him into a blender. There were no words for the utter devastation he felt at Naruto's absence.

He walked forward, meeting Hinata's eyes. She looked confused, and relieved that he'd come. Sasuke bent forward in a low bow, his face inches from the floor.

"I am sorry I wasn't able to protect your husband from this." He murmured, ignoring the lump in his throat. "I have failed you."

A few moments of stunned silence and even Himawari stopped crying.

"Get up, Sasuke," Hinata's voice was commanding. This was the first time she'd ever said anything like this with that tone before, so Sasuke was tempted to follow her orders. "Get up. This is your loss too." Hinata said, putting Himawari down and kneeling beside him.

Sasuke actually choked at Hinata's kindness. He bowed lower, incapable of speaking.

Hinata's voice shook, but she spoke clearly and strongly. "Naruto's last words were, 'tell Sasuke I said goodbye, and to remember our promise.'"

Which one?

Oh.

"If I don't make it to be an old man with you and Sakura-chan, can you promise me that you'll all be happy?"

"What?"

"It's not like I'll really be gone." Naruto had grinned his mega watt smile, giving Sasuke a thumbs up, as if that was supposed to make everything better. "You just have to remember that I'll be watching you. Then I'm always with you."

"You're not dead yet, dumbass." Sasuke had scoffed.

"Yeah, I'm just covering all my bases. You guys mean a lot to me."

The anger rose up in the pit of his stomach again. Sasuke stood up, looking at Naruto's body again. It looked like a vessel that had once carried something beautiful. Sasuke was angry at the emptiness.

He bowed at the waist one more time to Hinata, before he left through the window. He needed a minute.

<>

His minute ended up being three hours. He had no idea where Boruto, Hima and Hinata were. He didn't know where Sakura and Sarada were. He didn't know where he was, exactly. Just that he'd been running for a long time.

Was he a coward? Absolutely. But he didn't want to go back to Konoha yet because he knew that Naruto wasn't in it.

Naruto, Sakura and Sarada had always been the only things keeping him there, anyway.

Sasuke stood at the edge of a cliff and screamed his rage out to the heavens. They didn't respond, so Sasuke was left to stew in his own grief. He wasn't sure when the tears had come, he just knew that they weren't going away.

He wondered if his bond to Indra was what was making him feel like this. This was exactly how he'd felt when Itachi died the second time. It felt like a brother had been torn from him again.

Was this Indra mourning the loss of Ashura, or was it Sasuke mourning the loss of Naruto?

Did it matter?

No. Pain is still pain.

Sasuke only stopped running when he realized that he'd made his way to the Valley of the End. He took a seat on what used to be Madara's head, and was now just a cliff overlooking a valley with a river. Small trees were finally growing back in the valley.

Eighteen years ago, it had been wrecked beyond recovery. Now nature had taken it back, the only memento of the old statues was the crossed fingers of Hashirama and Madara on the floor of The Valley.

Naruto had decided not to rebuild it, because it had been a remembrance of Madara and Hashirama's fight, and how the former friends had ended their lives at odds. The two had made up before the end of the war, so rebuilding it now would be like a mockery of their progress. Besides, Naruto felt that the way that the finger forming the hand sign Rat crossed over each other in the symbol of a finished fight meant more.

Now, Sasuke was sitting overlooking the battlefield that he and Naruto had beaten each other up at.

He missed the fight. He wished Naruto was here to help him figure out the right thing to do again.

"Can you promise me that you'll be happy?"

"No." Is what Sasuke should've said, so that maybe his friend would've tried a little harder- so maybe death would've left him a little longer.

It was beyond unfair. Naruto was the one who deserved to live a long, full life. He deserved only the best of everything. And somehow Sasuke had ended up outliving him.

No amount of time and effort on Sasuke's part would completely atone for his sins. And yet Naruto had forgiven him immediately, always welcoming him home with open arms.

What would they do now? Naruto had been the sun of their solar system. He shined light on them with every smile, every hug, and every minute in his presence.

Sasuke wasn't ready to let go yet. He didn't think he'd ever be ready. He'd been through this so many times already, but somehow it felt worse this time because it was Naruto.

Naruto had been his brother for twenty years, and now he was just gone.

This isn't fair.

-

When Sasuke finally returned home at four hours after midnight, he went into his daughter's room first. Sarada was sprawled on her bed, glasses on her bedside and tear tracks running down her face. Sasuke removed her shoes and tucked her in, before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

His daughter was hit hard by this, and Sasuke felt immense sorrow for her. She and the rest of the village had only scratched the surface of the entity that was Naruto Uzumaki.

Sasuke had been with him for three quarters of their lifetimes, and it didn't feel like it had been enough. He suddenly wished he'd stayed in the village and soaked up every moment with his best friend, even when he was being irritating.

He glanced at his daughter one last time, before closing the door. 

Making his way to their room, he could feel Sakura. She was awake, just like he was. Sasuke forgot sometimes that Sakura was just as close to Naruto as he was, and she was suffering so much. His heart broke for her. She had lost her only brother too.

Sasuke walked in quietly, and found Sakura sitting at the foot of their bed, staring at the door blankly. When she saw Sasuke, her eyes widened. She stood up and ran to him, practically bowling Sasuke over with her hug.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I was so out of it that I forgot about how you would feel about all of this. I should've checked on you hours ago, but I figured you needed space."

Sasuke shook his head against hers. "I needed time. You did the right thing. Are you okay?"

That was a stupid question.

Sakura chuckled bitterly. "I'm mad."

"I was mad two hours ago."

"Were you sad first?" Sakura asked, backing away a little to watch his face, but her arms were still encircled around him protectively.

Truly, Sasuke loved her more than anything.

"Numb, first." Sasuke recalled. The first few hours were spent in a pensive silence. Then the rage had driven him to knocking down a forest and creating a new valley. "Then I got mad."

"Your chakra is half gone." Sakura agreed, the medic ninja in her warring with the understanding.

"So's yours." Sasuke pointed out, a knowing smirk on his face.

"I may have made a hole in the wall of the hospital that wasn't there before, then knocked down half of the forest of death when Tsunade kicked me out." Sakura confessed.

"That's my girl."

Sakura smiled for a little, but it didn't last for more than a couple of seconds. "It doesn't feel real." She sighed. "It feels like I'll wake up tomorrow and this will all just be a nightmare."

"I know." Sasuke walked forward and rested his chin on her head.

"What did Naruto mean by 'tell Sasuke to remember our promise?'" Sakura asked after a few moments of silence.

Sasuke told her.

Sakura cried herself to sleep, holding onto Sasuke. Sasuke let her. She numbed the sadness a little.

-

The next morning, Sasuke was up early.  He's gotten maybe two hours of sleep before his early riser drive kicked in.

So was Sarada. She'd always been more similar to him in that aspect. Sakura called them both freaks.

Sasuke made coffee, and Sarada sat at the kitchen table, staring blankly at the coffee he'd set in front of her.

Sasuke proceeded to make eggs. Recalling that weird dream of Itachi making him eggs over and over again that Naruto had woken him up from, it felt appropriate. His own little inside joke.

"How are you walking right now?" Sarada asked, resting her chin on her palm, elbow on the table. Her eyes were already red. She'd been having a rough morning, too.

"I'm functioning on my emergency protocols." Sasuke admitted. "I'm very out of it right now to not process the fact that he won't be in his office when I go check on Shikamaru later."

Sarada frowned. "There is no way that's healthy, dad."

"Aa." Sasuke agreed, before he put a plate of eggs in front of his daughter and sat down.

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry." Sarada said, pushing the plate back.

"If you don't eat that, I'm writing you out if my will. I slave away in this kitchen to cook for you and you don't even love me enough to eat my food." Sasuke said blankly, giving into the instinct to be sarcastic as a coping mechanism.

Sarada snorted. "Sometimes I can't tell when you're joking."

Sasuke nodded. "Naruto couldn't tell either. But then again, he was never the sharpest knife in the drawer."

Sarada ate her eggs. She made it through half the plate before she started crying. Sasuke pulled her off her chair and hugged her on the floor before she could fall down.

When Sarada calmed down, Sasuke got up and got her tissues.

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess," Sarada sniffled, wiping her face.

"Sarada, you can always express your emotions." Sasuke told her, kissing her forehead again before he sat in a chair across from her. "Don't bottle it up, like I do. It just causes disasters."

"It's true," Sakura's voice came from the doorway. "The last time he bottled it for so long, it came out in terrorism."

"Sakura, go back to bed." Sasuke said without missing a beat.

"Fine." Sakura turned back around, shutting the door behind her.

"We should let your mother sleep for a long time, today." Sasuke told his daughter.

The front door opened. Sasuke and Sarada both stood up, going over curiously. It was Kakashi. He looked exhausted.

"Kakashi, either go to bed, or sit down." Sasuke gestured to the kitchen table.

Sasuke knew without his former teacher having to tell him that Kakashi had stayed up all night in a silent vigil for Naruto. He seemed sober, thank God, but Kakashi was definitely devastated still.

"Okay." The white haired man said, taking a seat beside Sarada. He blew her a kiss, making Sarada smile a little, before going back to her eggs.

"Breakfast?" Sasuke asked Kakashi, because he couldn't be certain of the last time Kakashi had eaten.

"No."

"You eat or I make you sleep." Sasuke turned to the stove.

"Fine." Kakashi said, because he preferred that to the alternative. The 6th Hokage was probably having nightmares. "Is it just me, or does the world seem a little quieter?"

"Mmhmm." Sarada agreed quietly.

"Emptier." Sasuke corrected, turning the stove back on. "It's emptier."

"Yeah." Kakashi said, resting his head on the table.

Everyone heard Sakura's sniffles from their bedroom, but pretended not to.

<>

Boruto arrived two hours later, Himawari in tow. They didn't bother to knock either. Sasuke let ushered them in, made them breakfast, and forced Himawari to go take a nap in Sarada's room. Sarada went back to reading, Kakashi drifted off on the couch, Boruto watched shit realty TV, and Sasuke tried not to think.

"Have you cried yet?" Sarada stopped reading to ask Boruto.

"No." Boruto responded, and Sasuke knew he wasn't lying. Boruto seemed to be trapped in an emotional limbo. But it was coming, and everyone knew it.

"Where's Kawaki?" Kakashi asked, his voice a low drawl.

"He'll be here soon. He wants to make sure Mom's okay."

"How is Hinata?" Sasuke asked, recalling Naruto's wife's absolute heartbroken face.

"She's sleeping. I think she'll be sleeping all day."

"It's been a rough couple of weeks for her." Kakashi said. "She deserves any kind of peace she can get."

"Yeah." Sasuke agreed. I wish she'd let me apologize. She's too kind.

Kawaki showed up around thirty minutes after Hima and Boruto did, and he did knock, because he was a little bit afraid of Sasuke. Sarada opened the door and gave the boy a quick hug, before letting him in. Kawaki clapped Boruto on the shoulder supportively, before he kicked off his shoes and dropped to the floor in front of the couch Kakashi was spread on, rubbing his eyes. He was out three seconds after that. Sarada put a pillow beneath his neck so he wouldn't hurt himself.

Tsunade dropped in not long after to check on Sakura. She hugged Sarada for a very long time, then did the same with Boruto. Boruto numbly nodded as she whispered reassurances to him.

She disappeared in Sakura's room, and soon after that screaming could be heard from both of them, but their words were illegible. No one tried to eavesdrop.

Tsunade came out of the room a few minutes after the screaming had died down looking like shit. She had obviously been crying, and her hair was now a mess. She broke into Sakura and Sasuke's wine cellar and poured herself a drink, sitting at the dining room table by herself.

Hinata arrived later, looking exhausted. Everyone stood up to give her a hug, and Kawaki finally woke up from his nap. Hinata looked to be seconds way from tears, so she retired to Sasuke and Sakura's room to go sleep by Sakura.

Sasuke checked on them twenty minutes later, and found them both hugging tightly, fast asleep. Sasuke was relieved that Hinata was choosing to mourn with everyone else.

Because that was what they were doing- they were mourning. Some were sleeping, some were drinking, some were distracted, but somewhere in the back of their minds, there was the ever present fact that Naruto wouldn't be bursting through the door after them with his giant smile.

Boruto finally cried a little bit after dinner time. Himawari had just woken up, and was cuddling on the couch with Sarada. Everyone else was eating. Tsunade had left for two hours earlier, but came back for lunch and had stayed ever since.

The day had gone by so fast that Sasuke hadn't even felt it. He hadn't left his house all day. No one had.

Then, at the dinner table, Boruto started crying. He didn't even seem to realize he was doing it, because at first he kept eating. Everyone watched him carefully, looking for the typical Uzumaki outburst, but there was none. The entire group just minded their own business, until Himawari got up and hugged Boruto. He buried his face in his hands and started sobbing. Sarada was next to join the hug.

Kawaki went forward and put his hand on Boruto's shoulder supportively, even though he wasn't the hugging type. Tsunade was next to join the pile. Kakashi watched for a little, before his heart finally seemed to break and he wrapped Boruto up as well.

The poor kid had finally broken down.

This isn't fair.

This isn't fair this isn't fair this isn't fair this isn't fair this isn't fair this isn't fair this isn't fair

"Sasuke."

"Hmm?" Sasuke looked up, meeting Sakura's tired eyes. Somehow during the time he'd zoned out, everyone had gotten back to their seats and finished their meal, and Tsunade was now helping Sarada clean up. Hinata was heating up some food for herself and Sakura.

Sakura ran her fingers though Sasuke's hair, rubbing his scalp. "You should go to sleep."

"No, I should-"

"Sleep. Now."

Sasuke stood up and went to bed.

-

When Sasuke woke up again, it was a little past midnight. Sakura was sleeping next to him, her arms wrapped around him and locking at his stomach. She'd been big spooning him.

Somewhere between the numbness, Sasuke felt an immense love for her again. He pressed a kiss to her right hand, before removing them both from him and getting up. He tip toed out of his room.

Opening Sarada's door, he spotted his daughter holding Himawari in her bed, both sleeping soundly, although they both looked like they'd been crying before they fell asleep. Kawaki was on a futon below them, tucked into a big blanket. Beside him, there was a pillow with a blonde head laying on it. Sasuke refused to get his hopes up and wish that it was Naruto there instead of Boruto.

He shut the door quietly behind him, turning around and making his way to the living room. The pullout-bed in the couch had been pulled out to make a queen sized bed that Hinata and Tsunade were sleeping in.

Kakashi's bed had been made on the floor as well, but he wasn't there. Sasuke suspected that he was in the bathroom.

Sasuke walked into his kitchen and poured himself some water, taking a seat by the table. He was almost tempted to get into the sake stash, but he knew that Naruto would never forgive him if he got drunk by himself.

He sipped his water in silence until Kakashi intruded on his peace.

"Look who's awake. Welcome back, sleeping beauty." Kakashi took a seat beside Sasuke, stealing his now empty cup and pouring more water from the pitcher.

"You're the reason why Naruto, Sakura and I make jokes." Sasuke realized.

Kakashi snorted. "What? I know I'm funny, but I'm not arrogant enough to think I made you kids funny."

"You're the reason why we all make jokes to cope." Sasuke repeated. "I didn't used to be like this; this is your fault."

"I like to think my influence has made you grow as a person." Kakashi took a long sip of his water.

"Sakura is sarcastic because of you."

"You're welcome."

"I hate you."

"Yeah, right."

Sasuke nodded, sitting in silence with Kakashi for a couple of more moments before he decided he had a question. "What do you think happens after we die?"

Kakashi was quiet, thinking. "I don't know. But I know we aren't just... gone. We're all around somewhere."

"How do you know?" Sasuke asked, trying to ignore the way it made him feel to imagine that Naruto was just gone forever. The idea that his entire personality and soul had died with him, and he was now nowhere to be found unsettled Sasuke beyond belief.

"Because of Orochimaru's freaky Reanimation technique." Kakashi said. "Minato-sensei and the others were all perfectly intact. They must've been somewhere."

That made Sasuke feel better. "Good."

"If I thought he was gone forever, I'm not sure how I'd cope." Kakashi confessed. "But I'm sure wherever he is, Minato-sensei and Kushina are taking care of him. I'm sure they're proud and happy to see him."

Sasuke closed his eyes, dismissing his tears. They slid down his cheeks and dropped off his chin, but he had a small smile on his face. Naruto must be at peace, wherever he is.

"It's going to be a long road from here, Sasuke." Kakashi commented wisely, standing up and getting sake from the cupboard, pouring both himself and Sasuke a cup. "But this isn't the end. We'll see him again."

"Yeah." Sasuke wiped his tears, picking up his cup and throwing back the burning sake. "I'm sure he's somewhere up there watching us, anyway. Did he tell you he wanted to be a star?"

Kakashi kaughed, his eyes shining with equal parts mirth and sadness. "That's very Naruto of him. If he was a star, he'd be the sun. Obnoxious and orange."

"That's what I thought." Sasuke smirked. "I told him he'd be annoying and he threatened to get Tsunade to beat me up."

"That's also very Naruto." Kakashi smiled. "It's nice how he was himself all the way until the end. He never let his situation get him down."

"He was too cheerful." Sasuke complained, pouring himself some more sake. "He told me he'd be pissed off if we spent our whole lives wallowing."

"Who cares about his feelings?" Kakashi huffed defensively. "He's gone. If I want to wallow, I'll wallow. He can't do anything about it until I die."

"If I don't make it to be an old man with you and Sakura-chan, can you promise me that you'll all be happy?"

That had been an unfair request. Naruto was such an important figure in the lives of everyone around him that his loss would be devastating for everyone. Sasuke had been guilty at his inability to try to be 'happy' like Naruto had requested, but he realized that Naruto was talking about the long term, too.

"You know what? You're right." Sasuke agreed, smiling. "We can be sad if we want to. Fuck you, Naruto."

"Fuck you, Naruto." Kakashi repeated, holding his cup up as if they were making a toast.

He could almost hear Naruto's response.

"I didn't become a star to watch you guys constantly whine about my being gone."

"Yeah?" Sasuke would said to him once they met again. "Well, it's your own fault that you're such a lovable person. Deal with the consequences now."

-

Sorry about this angst from out of nowhere lmao

I was just feeling extra sad ab Kurama being gone and was like "dude, what if they killed off Naruto??? I would stop watching." As if I'm watching anymore lmao

But I lurv you all ofc <3 hopefully the next oneshot will be a happy one.