The sixty-ninth time I saw him, he looked like a young god framed by  the city lights that looked like the gates to heaven.

Allie's P.O.V.

When I woke up in the morning, Luke was sitting at my desk. I nearly had a heart attack when I rolled over and saw him sitting at my desk. I let out a muffled scream.

Luke turned the chair around; it was a swivel chair. "Oh, you're up," he said casually.

"What are you doing in my room?" I asked, then rephrased. "Actually, what are you doing in my apartment?"

"I wanted to hang out, and you weren't answering your phone so I came over and you didn't answer, so I picked the lock," he shrugged. "I let you sleep."

"You still don't break into someone's house," I reprimanded, recovering from my near heart attack.

Luke shrugged and smiled, his tongue pressing against the back of his teeth and I melted into my mattress because good God, he looked adorable. "Not even to see my beautiful girlfriend?" he tried.

I smiled and got up, swinging my legs onto the floor. I was dressed only in a tank top and some cloth shorts and I pretended to not notice when Luke trailed his eyes over my body.

"Jasmine's gone, by the way," he added, still watching me as I pulled on my glasses.

"Did you see her?" I asked, pausing in the middle of putting on a sweater.

"Yeah," Luke nodded. "She was kind of freaked out to see me, but she made me some coffe, so, there's that."

"What time did you get here? Jasmine leaves super early on Wednesdays for classes," I said.

Luke shrugged, smiling bashfully up at me again. "Couldn't sleep," he said, little too nonchantly. "Wanted to see you."

I furrowed my brows and took a step forward to sniff him. He smelled like cigarettes and snow. "What's wrong?"

Luke shrugged again, but there was no bashful smile this time, and no smile. "My parents fought last night. It was really loud and late too. Must have been one in the morning."

"Oh, Luke," I said softly, because I knew what it felt like, being curled up safe in bed, and then suddenly not feeling so safe anymore as voices rose from the living room.

"They were fighting over me, and Finley," he whispered; I had to lean forward to hear him. "My Dad wanted my Mom to leave us alone and she kept yelling that he was giving up on his children by saying that."

I didn't quite know what to say; my parents had fought, yes, but never about me while I wasn't there to defend myself. Luke answered my dilemma for me by pulling me to straddle him. He buried his face in my shoulder and continued to talk. 

"I was worried they were going to come into my room and wake me up to yell at me and I felt so small, like I was ten years old again," he said softly. "I just curled up under my blankets and tried not to move, like if I stayed completely still I could sink through the floor and fly away. I wanted to leave so bad. When the noise went down, I crept out my bedroom window and came here."

I didn't know what to say. My parents had never fought like that, at least, not when I was around to hear it, and if they did talk about me, they did it to my face, where I could hear all the things they disliked about me.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips on Luke's collarbone and gently kissed my way up his neck. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"For what?" he answered back; his face was obscured by my hair. "You didn't do anything."

"I know," I said. "I'm just sorry that you had to hear that, and you felt like you had to run away and that you weren't safe."

Luke sighed and it ruffled my hair like a flag in the wind. "Still. It's not your fault."

I bit my lip but let it drop and I continued to press kisses all over Luke's collarbones and neck until I moved to his face, and I held it tenderly in my hands as I pecked his face until I reached his lips. He didn't move as I did so, just breathed a little bit heavily and kept his eyes shut.

I pulled back and ran a hand through his hair fondly. It was getting a bit long and I liked to run my hands through it.

"Is there a place I can go smoke?" Luke asked, opening his eyes, his voice still quiet.

My heart dropped a little bit; wasn't I calming him down? "Yeah," I answered. "I'll take you."

I led him out of the apartment to the roof, as it was closer to my apartment than the front of the building and led him up the stairs. The roof was nothing special, simply a flat expanse of concrete with a door leading back inside.

It was getting steadily colder; it was the end of November and it had snowed early that day, but it had melted already.

Luke walked  towards the edge of the roof and pulled a packet of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket. He lit his cigarette with expertise and I watched as he inhaled, then I saw a cloud of smoke dissipate into the wintery air.

Luke had a mystic look about him; he looked almost ethereal with the city lights illuminating his silhouette. All you could see was his broad shoulders and frame, with a little light coming from his cigarette. The smoke he blew from his lips could almost look like breath someone exhaled in the middle of December.

"You don't have to stay up here with me, you know," he said.

I was slightly startled; I hadn't known he knew I was still on the roof watching him. "I know," I said.

"You're in shorts, you'll freeze," he said, still not turning around.

"I don't care," I said, realizing it was true and emotion made a lump form in my throat. I wanted to be there for Luke; I loved him and I wanted him to be happy, and I'll be damned if I can't spend five minutes outside with my boyfriend in shorts in November while he has a smoke. "I don't care," I repeated more forcefully.

At this, Luke sighed. "Allie," he said.

He must have heard something in my tone, because his was slightly warning and sad, as if he knew what I was feeling and couldn't reciprocate.

Before he could finish his sentence, I had taken about four steps forward and hugged him tightly, right around the middle. I was so short that I only came up to the middle of his back, but I didn't care; if anything, I hugged him tighter.

Luke tensed up before he relaxed and let me hug him. I saw his cigarette flutter to the ground and the end still glowed slightly.

"Allie," he murmured, but it wasn't warningly this time, it was warm and made me feel like home.

I hugged him tighter.

...

Later, after we had come down from the roof and Luke has scolded me for going out there in shorts, we were cuddling in my bed. Luke had long fallen asleep, exhausted from his late night and lack of sleep.

I was propped up on one elbow, smoothing the hair off his forehead. It wasn't really necessary, but it seemed to soothe Luke, so I kept doing it. I felt horrible for him. He was stuck in that house, and it seemed like the only good thing for him was Finley. His Dad isn't so bad either, but his Mom...

Combined with what Luke's told me and my own experiences with her, she seems suffocating of both Luke and Finley. I hope that he figures it out soon. He's really struggling by being there. Maybe he should move in with me.

As much as I like the idea, I'm afraid that he won't do it. For one, he wants to protect his sister, which I respect but I'm worried that he doesn't love me as much as I do him. I don't even know if he loves me. We had been dating since August, and now it was quite nearly December. That's four months. You can fall in love with someone in four months, right? I know I fell in love with him, but the question remains- did he fall in love with me? 

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hey friends :) so I literally just spent the past almost three hours in a library and I couldn't be happier.

But, sad note, I need braces :( and a tooth pulled.

But anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, I really enjoyed writing it actually, it was easier to write than other chapters, so I hope you like it. I updated Waiting for Superman, a really old book of mine that I hadn't updated in like 7 months if you want to check it out, and I updated a little book called drapetomania that I was originally only going to make a one-shot but I found more words that end in -mania and more fun words that I think I can go places with, so if you want, check that out too?

I hope you all have lovely days ahead of you, be happy guys :)

love ya!

-taylor

p.s. I have discovered Halsey so yeah.... the thing at the beginning is kind of based on her song, bless her and her music and her soul good god I think I have my girl-crush lol