As Dan stared at the his bedroom ceiling in the dark, one memory stuck in his head that he was trying so hard to forget, clutching the sheets next to him and trying to think of something else, which didn't work.

The look on Phil's face when Dan walked into the flat. Sadness, disappointment and...was it anger? Dan is pretty certain it was anger. 

Phil is never angry with Dan. Sure, he'll get upset at him, but they'll talk it through and Dan will apologize or tell his side to the story, and they'll be fine. 

But no, Phil was angry with Dan.

Dan understood, though. He was angry with himself. 

But he didn't want to stop seeing Sarah. He couldn't. He was going to go back to her, it was inevitable. He was infatuated, obsessed even. Addicted. 

She was a drug that Dan needed to quit soon, because she wasn't healthy at all.  

Phil would leave him if he kept this up, he knew it. He'd kick Dan out, or Dan would wake up one day with all his cereal still in an unopened box, untouched. 

He'd miss Phil eating his cereal. 

He'd miss the Day in the Life videos. 

He'd miss the stickers that'd appear on his piano. 

He'd miss Phil. 

Losing his best friend was way more awful than losing the girl he met at a party who got him drunk and slept with him. 

But that didn't stop him from pulling out his phone and texting '1 pm tomorrow??'

-

THIS IS SO SHORT AND IT'S BEEN LIKE THREE MONTHS I'M SORRY!! 

it's just, like, i don't have that much interest in writing on here anymore, but i want to finish what i started.