After freaking myself out all night long, I was tired and exhausted the next day. The more I read about Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, the more I realized I fit the bill eerily well. From my isolated and disconnected behavior to the intrusive memories and flashbacks and from avoidance to the apparent anxiety attacks I had at the party and while talking to Will and Bree. Everything I read only confirmed it further.

I know if I talk about it, I'll just be told to speak to a professional. That thought scares me. I don't want to have another episode, and the last thing I want is another label. I already know what it's like to be treated poorly as a result of being different. Being officially diagnosed with something will just make everything worse. Not to mention what it'll do to my mom. It would destroy her as well as her image of me.

The best thing for me to do as of right now is to calm down and try to go back to normal; whatever "normal" means for me.

I'll put all my stress energy into my work and try to forget about it as best I can. I already have an idea for an escape.

Hey, do you have practice today?

...No, we only have conditioning for a few hours, but I'll be done by 9:30.

Great! Can we meet up? I miss you.

...I miss you too! There's one catch, though.

Catch?

...Well, someone just so happened to look over my shoulder and is now begging to tag along so he can "beat you in a category he knows he can't lose."

I rolled my eyes, knowing immediately who and what he was referring to. I was happy to indulge Braxton. This would be a great distraction. I knew to expect a lot of laughs and hijinx.

Tell him it's on. As long as that's okay with you, of course.

...It's fine. I'll be happy as long as you're there by my side. I just wanted to tell you before springing him on you. He's already pumped up from working out, and he'll be even more excited when I tell him what you said.

I wouldn't expect anything else.

...Haha! Of course not! And now he's talking to Sean, so I know he's going to want to join. My apologies, but I think this "outing" just might turn into a party. Maybe the girls wouldn't mind coming along. I don't want you getting suffocated.

Oh, I'm sure I'll find some interested volunteers. There's no shortage around here. It's incredible how even through texting Elijah, I could see his reactions to everything as if he were here with me. What I really need is to make that a reality.

...Oh, I'm sure there's not. I have to go now. I'll see you when I'm done. I love you. My heart jumps every single time.

I love you too. So much.

  ↞↠  

After taking my time freshening up and informing the girls of my plans, I went straight to my book not allowing any time for my mind to wander. I was currently reading one of my professors' research publications on the evolutionary origins of the human mind. Another good distraction.

Because we were going out for lunch, the only available parties were Maddy and Charlotte. Everyone else either had class, work, or a study group.

At around 10:30, "Shave and a haircut - two bits" was rhythmically knocked on the door.

I opened it to see Elijah with a large, muscular arm strewn over his shoulder and a lean figure two steps down behind them.

With a smile, I invited everyone in and led them straight into the common room, which felt much smaller with so much bulk and muscle taking up more space and blocking some sunlight.

I was accompanied by Charlotte, who slid away to notify Maddy, who was listening to music in their room, that company had arrived.

I gave Elijah a quick, shy kiss on the lips before motioning for everyone to sit down and make themselves comfortable.

Elijah and I sat next to each other on the couch with Charlotte to my right on the armrest. Sean and Maddy opted to sit on the floor in front of the coffee table, and Braxton hesitated before sitting in the chair to Elijah's right. He tried to convince Maddy to take a seat, but she politely declined. It wasn't clear whether or not she was being considerate by letting our guest occupy the chair or if she just wanted to sit next to Sean. Maddy was more discrete than the other girls when it came to those emotions.

We spent the rest of the morning talking about classes, majors, track; basically anything we could to occupy our time. I really enjoyed just hanging out and talking with everyone. I've never really done anything like that before, especially not with mixed company. I felt normal. It was nice.

A little after twelve we decided to get going. The burger place Braxton's was taking us to was about a mile away and, we decided to walk. This would surely be nothing for the guys, but I knew I'd be hungry by the time we got there.

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When we were a few minutes away from the restaurant, Braxton started elaborating on his choice, explicitly addressing me.

"Today, I am taking you to the birthplace of the hamburger, Louis' Lunch." My eyes widened, acknowledging its status. I actually was surprised. Who knew the hamburger originated in New Haven? "This place is historic. I brought the guys here a while ago, and they all agreed they were the best hamburgers they'd ever had. Now it's your turn to concede. Trust me, I know my burgers." He was walking backward briskly in front of the rest of us, rubbing his palms together expectantly.

Always a man of showmanship, I knew Braxton enjoyed an audience. This was no exception, as his smile grew even more prominent when Charlotte and Maddy started getting excited to eat as well.

After getting a table, we didn't even have the opportunity to look at the menus on the wall before Braxton asked if he could order for all of us.

"Six Original Hamburgers coming right up!" He rose to order at the counter leaving the rest of us amused and the girls and I not knowing what to expect.

"The last time he was there, he asked for ketchup, and it played out like a movie scene. The music stopped playing, and everyone stopped talking and turned to stare at him. He thought he broke a law or something." Sean snickered to himself and Elijah smiled.

"Yes, they definitely don't love ketchup here. It's their most definite rule." Elijah's arm was around my shoulders, holding me close to him.

"Hey, I didn't know the rules last time! I don't see why it's that big of a deal. They looked at me like I was a criminal and treated me like one after that." Braxton returned and sat across from Elijah, right next to Sean.

Sean laughed loudly. "You might as well have been one, dude. You were this close to getting kicked out." He indicated just how close with less than a centimeter separating his pointer finger and thumb."Did you see the way the guy behind the counter looked at you? You were a total amateur."

Braxton's scowl didn't seem to bother Sean. He just kept laughing at his expense.

"Haha! I'm not eating a plain burger this time! I came prepared." He skillfully slid a mini bottle of ketchup from the inside pocket of his coat with a smirk plastered on his face.

"You idiot! You're gonna get kicked out. You realize that, right?" Sean was too loud for Braxton's liking.

"Shhhh! If nobody knows, nothing will happen. Now just wait until the food comes."

In a matter of minutes, we each had a hamburger sandwich in front of us.

As soon as the coast was clear, the ketchup came out. We all watched nervously as Braxton shaken the bottle and opened the lid. That's when his genius plan seemed to have taken a turn. The most obnoxious sputtering sound escaped the bottle when he went to squeeze.

And just like Sean's memory, everything stopped.

"Aww, come on dude! You should've shook the bottle more. There must've been an air bubble or something!" Sean's criticism was not a whisper as he seemed to have intended. All of us were just sitting there, mouths agape as the man behind the counter rushed to our table resembling a tomato.

"Whatever happens, you'd better eat that burger. I swear, it'll all be worth it when I win."

I covered my face out of embarrassment, unable to imagine how humiliated Braxton felt in the moment. From his arm around me, I felt Elijah's chest shake with suppressed laughter.

  ↞↠  

"Banned. Isn't that a little excessive?"

Sean was cracking up on the sidewalk as we all sulked back to campus. Braxton clearly had his tail between his legs, taking the punishment like a scolded child.

"It's alright, I don't eat a lot of burgers anyway." That statement only made Sean cackle even harder. Braxton's glares didn't seem to concern him in the least.

"Hey, I felt terrible about what happened in there, so I got you something." As Braxton was being escorted out of the restaurant, I spotted something on the wall that would make the whole situation one of her most memorable moments in college. Fifteen dollars? A small price to pay to see the look on his face.

Everyone stopped as I retrieved his gift out of a plastic bag, intending to make him wear it like a dunce cap.

"You've got to be kidding." Braxton's eyes went from the shirt to me, staring a hole right through my face.

"Hey, it's okay buddy." I walked up and patted him on the back while handing him the shirt. Would it make you feel any better if I told you that you won this round?" With that, his fists went into the air as he danced a little victory dance. He walked the rest of the way with the shirt slung over his shoulder and his chin up high. I have to admit, it was a really great burger. Ketchup or not.

  ↞↠  

"Ugh, you know what I need after that? A good old fashioned brownie sundae." I rubbed my stomach and looked up to my left to see Elijah smirking down at me.

"It's funny that you mention brownie sundaes. Hey, Brax! Sara's craving a brownie sundae!" I looked forward with a smile, wondering what he was getting at.

"Ohh, I will definitely be crowned the champion now!" He jogged back a few paces to elaborate.

"I just so happen to be the king of brownie sundaes." I scoffed.

"You know, I'm beginning to think you're the self-proclaimed king of everything."

He smirked. "I'm glad you're finally seeing the truth, Sara! I make the best brownie sundaes in the entire world. No doubt about it. The thing is, I bake my own brownies from scratch following a secret recipe I perfected years ago."

"He used to love baking with his grandmother." Elijah murmured with a smirk. Somehow, the girls heard, which elicited 'awwwws' that Braxton shut down right away.

"Hey, I bake with my Oma, but this brownie recipe is all me! You love it, give me some credit!" Braxton nudged Elijah's shoulder, but he absorbed the impact.

"You know, I do have to say, his brownies are the best I've ever had, and the sundaes are next level. He uses the perfect vanilla ice cream and always tops them with hot fudge and whipped cream." My mouth was already watering.

"When can I have this sundae?" I was prepared to address Braxton by any title he wanted in order to get my hands on his brownies, the way Elijah was describing them.

"Well, see that's the issue. I can't really bake here." Even the girls and Sean seemed disappointed.

"That's a shame." I sighed to myself, honestly crestfallen. Brownie sundaes are my favorite, and I'm sure I can find some good ones here, but nothing beats homemade.

"Hey, what are you guys doing for Thanksgiving Break?" Charlotte casually asked the group. Everyone already had plans to go home, which reminded me that I'd be all the way across the country from Elijah.

"Well, what about Winter Break?" Once again, everyone was going home other than me. I didn't have any plans yet.

"Sara, I know it's spur of the moment, but how about you stay with me for the break? You're the only one who doesn't have any plans." I was surprised by her suggestion.

"Oh, that's very generous. But it's the holidays. Wouldn't your family mind?"

"Are you kidding! They usually spend the entire month of December into January on a cruise. I'll be home this year anyway. You can keep me company. Also, I don't believe we're too far away from Elijah and Braxton." I still can't believe this is a serious offer.

"I'll have to talk to my mom about it. Thank you so much for the offer!" The money would definitely be an issue. I don't have high hopes in any regard, but I guess its something I can think about. I'm also not sure how my mom would feel about this either.

"Great! We have time, so don't rush to make any decisions. We will have to book the flight early, though so the seats don't fill up." I nodded and looked at Elijah. He was grinning ear to ear. It would be amazing to spend an entire break so close to him with no classes, work study, or practices in the way. That is if this plan comes to fruition.

I'd have to work double time to see if I could even scrape enough together for a ticket let alone spending money.

"Well, I promise to make you all the brownie sundaes you want if you do end up coming."

The key word being if.

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Well...