Title: Traces of You 

Author: Samone_xoxo

Reviewer: TahsinHossain

Summary: 3/5

Your summary wasn't anything special, though it told me about the main two characters. You should spice up the summary a bit, you know. 

Basing on the ending, you can either add some negative lines like "But she didn't know how messed up this love could be" or, "But everything doesn't end in the way we want, does it?"

That will add some suspense and make it more interesting.

And the summary was really misleading, I was totally hoping for a regular ending, but I was so shocked when I reached the end of the story! Good job!

Grammar: 3/5

The first mistakes I found was using the wrong form of verbs, such as using "excited" instead of "exciting" and such.

Also, even though it actually is a part of the writing style, I think I should mention it here. The sentences. Excessive use of conjunctions, complex and compound sentences. It makes the readers lose their interest fast, so break those sentences into several simple ones.

Also, you had several other mistakes like you used the word "heartbroken", where you should have used "heart was broken". Both are different. Like-

"It was as if my heart was broken."

"I was heartbroken."

See? They are totally different, and using them in the same way is against the rules of grammar.

Also, while you have written the whole story in past tense, some of your parts were written in present perfect tense, like most of the time, you used "have" instead of "had". It is wrong to do so and I'll ask you to fix them and refrain from doing so in the future. 

Other than that, you should divide the parts into more para to make it easier for us to read.

Characters: 2/5

I seriously didn't like the characters except for Desiri. (GOD, SHE WAS SO NICE!) Samira was too trusting and her character was contradictory. She was hurt before, but yet she trusted Breyden too quickly. 

And in two parts, we have intimate scenes too.

Samira broke down the wall around her too fast, which ruined her character. And also, if you wanted the readers to pity Samira and hate Breyden, then you should have added a bit more to Breyden's character. 

I do believe in love at first sight, but Samira was too trusting for her own good. And as you brought in a few other characters, you should have focused on them too. Almost no other character got any spotlight, not even a little bit.  And Samira's character development was poor, and Breyden had no development so he seemed like a rock.

Writing Style: 3/5

Your story was fun to read but the flow wasn't good. The story seemed like a narration from a textbook, instead of something full of emotions. And it felt forced. As if you didn't want to write this story.

Also, you used more than two "I" s in one sentence. Let me show you an example.

"I walked around the corner, though I didn't want to."

Grammatically right, but in terms of story flow? No.

It should be like this,

"I walked around the corner, without any wish to do so."

It kind of seems different, yes, but it will work if you use it in a conversation like this-

"Go around the corner," he said.

I walked around the corner, without any wish to do so.

See? It seems better than using two "I"s in a sentence. You have more than several sentences like that, so fix that. 

And try to make it a more, flowy. Like, instead of: "I hadn't really been there, but I wanted to." Use: "I hadn't really been there, but really wanted to, as it was one of my most favourite spots." 

See? Adding one unnecessary line increases the emotion greatly. Make it like that. Also, you should increase the time we see between Samira and Breyden.

Instead of ending it in four parts, make it eight or make the chapters longer so that we can feel Samira's pain too. The strongest point of a writer is to make the readers feel the same emotions as the characters.

Also, make the ending a bit more dramatic. It felt empty.

Plot: 3/5

Not so unique. But the ending totally shook me. Though the ending didn't provoke any emotions within me, I liked how you decided to use a bittersweet ending instead of a happy one. Good job!

OVERALL SCORE: 14/25

Make it a bit longer, make the emotions more vivid, fix the grammar errors and we'll have a nice little romance story on our hands!