Title: Death in the Woods

Author: arthurajiri

Reviewer: Jumping_Jiminys

Cover: 3/5

I preferred your other cover; in this one, the font isn't my favourite, and neither are the two photos. I do like the border around the book, though.

Summary: 4/5

I liked the summary. The ending certainly grabbed me the most, and there were some questions like, "What's so special about the woods?"  and,"Who's killing?"

Spelling, Grammar + Vocabulary: 10/15

Here are the following errors I found within your story, amended (as shown by the capital letters). 

"Get your ass off the bed and go get ready, it's already 7 a.m,"  [missing ending punctuation - CHAPTER ONE]

"Although, they tried HAVING another after her..."  [CHAPTER ONE]

I wouldn't have "Honkkkkk" in-between speech marks.

"She was supposed to get a ride from Clara to school since she couldn't drive HERSELF. Clara just got her license two weeks back when she turned 18 and offered TO TAKE her to school every day till she is able to get hers."  [I believe this is much more concise also personally for me numbers over 10 should be shown in their number form anything lower can be done in word form (that's just me) - CHAPTER ONE]

"...if you don't get your ass down here." [missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER ONE]

"...just give me a minute." [missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER ONE]

"Taking a can from the refrigerator..." [more concise - CHAPTER ONE]

"Hey, honey! Don't choke on your food and make sure you're attentive in classes," [so, personally, one exclamation is enough; any more for me looks a bit unprofessional. After the exclamation point comes a capital letter, and you are missing closing punctuation. When her mum said not to "choke on [her] food" was a bit odd, as Sarah is an adult. You'd expect that to be a given. - CHAPTER ONE]

"Yes, Mum! Heard you," [only one exclamation point is necessary and a capital letter to follow, missing closing punctuation. - CHAPTER ONE]

"Winston High was not a school that you would WANT TO ARRIVE LATE AT." [more concise. - CHAPTER ONE]

"Latecomers are SEVERELY dealt with." [I believe this adjective sounds better . - CHAPTER ONE

"Clara PARKED the car IN the school parking lot..." [CHAPTER ONE]

"...towards the school gate at THE two vehicles parked there." [CHAPTER ONE]

"...after all she is the school GOSSIPER..." [CHAPTER ONE]

"Hey, Brittany. Over here!" Clara called out." [this way gets the same sort of urgency as before, but with fewer exclamation points, and you were missing closing punctuation.- CHAPTER ONE]

"Hey, Clara. Hey Sarah." [as Brittany wasn't shouting there's no need for the exclamation points - CHAPTER ONE]

No need for the capital on "haven't" -> "So I guess you guys haven't heard..."  [CHAPTER ONE]

"...was found dead this morning in the woods," [missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER ONE]

"....person bearing that name," [missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER ONE]

"She was a nice GIRL." ["fellow" doesn't sound like something a teen would say, also missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER ONE]

"...she was stabbed 14 times in the chest. Her body was already DECOMPOSING by the time they found her. I guess the person who did it was a complete psycho...like, was once or twice not enough?" [you need three full-stops to signify ellipses - CHAPTER ONE]

"She was nice and loving to everyone." [missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER ONE]

"...within the next five minutes," [missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER ONE]

"Sometimes the students often wondered WHY he was a Principal..." [CHAPTER ONE]

I would also signal a change of POV alongside the asterisks. I was confused as to who was narrating for a second. Perhaps somethign like "Killers POV" or even mention it in an author's note before the beginning of the chapter.

"...to the Gates of Hell..." [as it is a location, it should be capitalised appropriately - CHAPTER ONE]

"Hello! Is anybody there?" [missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER TWO]

"It's just someone from school trying to play a prank on you." [missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER TWO]

"...before her mum CAME back from work." [CHAPTER TWO]

"I get that you ARE INFATUATED WITH him..." [CHAPTER TWO]

"I love being in my comfort zone," [missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER TWO]

"You are going to be eighteen very soon, pwetty pleaseeee," [missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER TWO]

Remove "apparently" -> "She didn't get a ride with Clara..." [CHAPTER THREE]

"He was WEARING black jeans with a MATCHING hoodie." [CHAPTER THREE]

"I am Todd," [missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER THREE]

"See you tomorrow," was the last thing she said..." [missing closing punctuation and no need for the capital letter on "she" - CHAPTER THREE]

"This DRESS would be A waste..." [CHAPTER FOUR]

"Clara was having CONFLICTING thoughts..." [CHAPTER FOUR]

"....turned her phone screen on in ORDER to call her..." [CHAPTER FOUR]

"Yes, please," [missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER FOUR]

I would put "Tsk" in italics because it is a sound [CHAPTER FIVE]

No need for the capital letter on "seeing" -> "...down from her ears to check the caller and seeing it was a strange number..." [CHAPTER FIVE]

"How did you get my number?" [missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER FIVE]

"Y-yes am fine," [missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER FIVE]

"Hope YOU'RE FINE?" [CHAPTER FIVE]

"...and I didn't want to spoil your fun with Jacob," [missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER FIVE]

"It's not what you THINK. He was just helping me out." [CHAPTER FIVE]

"...and you know Ashley's got her eyes set on him already," [missing possessive apostrophe and missing closing punctuation - CHAPTER FIVE]

Sentence Structuring + Paragraphing: 5/5

Description: 2/5

I felt we missed a lot of description of everything. There wasn't any for the characters and also the location of certain scenes. You did a great job in the prologue but I felt that same enthusiasm slip in the other chapters.

Plot Development: 4/5

As far as I know, Sarah is being stalked by the supposed killer. So far, there's been one death and a string of creepy messages. The pacing of this story is good. Similar stories always rush the killing every chapter and so you start to become numb to each new killing, so this was a refreshing difference.

Characterisation: 2/5

To me, the characters seem flat. Sarah appears to be the typical study bug while Clara is the "wild" one. Besides that, there's nothing there to them, including what they look like. Besides Adrian, which is typical because he's the hot new guy, no one stands out to me which is a shame because throughout the story I feel there were many opportunities to showcase the characters and get us to feel more for them.

Character Interactions + Relationships: 2/5

Some of the words in the dialogue is a bit too mature for me, they don't read as soon to be 18 years olds, but that's just a personal opinion. Much like their characterisation, their interactions are flat and very generic. I've seen these characters before, I've seen these interactions before.

For me, it feels like general interactions, and it still requires you to add some of your flair to make it stand out for the rest. It doesn't need to be fantastic; perhaps they have a simple handshake or nicknames anything that makes their friendship feel natural and realistic.

Creativity + Originality: 2/5

I have seen this plot before in the last six chapters (including the prologue) - it's very similar to Scream, Scream Girls (I think that's the name), and most slasher films.

Writing Quality: 2/5

Prologue: I felt the pace could've slowed down to build up the ending, dragging out the scene where's she gets stabbed by the masked man.

After the prologue, all chapters felt the same regardless of the environment and the character; nothing stood out for me, which was a shame because the foundation you have here is excellent. There are just a few elements that need more developing.

OVERALL SCORE: 36/60

It reminds me of a slasher film or show - you've got the four main characters which I am assuming are Sarah, Clara, Adrian and the killer. What is missing is some character development, immersive description, and development of personalities that makes each character memorable and unique - that makes them vital in this story, negative or positive. With work and these elements, your book will reach new levels.