Title: Phantom Dragons

Author: SpruceWolf

Reviewer: GnomeMercy

Summary: 4/5

Your summary is looking very good, and you introduce your characters very well! I can't wait to see how they meet and what happens next. However, my biggest problem was that you introduced your characters, and then there was nothing else. There wasn't anything that tied them together. Why should I know all for of them? What is their problem? I suggest adding some more to the summary explaining more about how they meet and what their dilemma is.

Other than that, you have a great summary that's grammatically correct, too. Well done! Just add something that explains more about your character's relation to each other and what they'll have to go through, for example.

Grammar: 4/5

This may be the first time I've said this, but your grammar is amazing!—you know what you're doing. I did have some typos and small grammar errors that I thought could be improved and corrected, but they were quite small. (Everything listed here is all the typos I noticed throughout your entire story so far.)

In Chapter 1:

Though his mother, Violetear, did say a lot of things. Things such as your father did pass the Phantom Trails, but didn't come back because he found something, and you're going to go there, Redwing, because you're of a strong bloodline and you're made to do it. It's your destiny.

Firstly, I suggest you put a colon after "things such as". As well as that, there were quite a lot of commas in that sentence, so I suggest changing it up a bit.

Though his mother, Violetear, did say a lot of things. Things such as: your father did pass the Phantom Trails, but didn't come back because he found something—and you're going to go there, Redwing. Because you're of a strong bloodline and you're made to do it. It's your destiny.

From Chapter 2:

"Coquina! What d'you doing?"

The problem with this is "d'you" is actually a short form for "do you". Unless you meant this to be some sort of dialect, I think you mean:

"Coquina! What are you doing?"

In Chapter 5:

Tetra stared at her in amazement, gazing in wonder at her scales. They were yellow

There needs to be a full stop after "yellow".

Also, in the same chapter:

Yes!Sabertooth's eyes were narrowed, noncommittal, but he was agreeing. He was going.

You need a space between "Yes!" and "Sabertooth's".

There was a similar error in Chapter 11, where it said:

Until, right at the end, "So you weren'thonest with her?"

In Chapter 12, I noticed:

"You're very welcome! Now, go on! Tell the Evergreen clan hello!!"

The problem here is that "!!" is grammatically incorrect—this is because only one exclamation mark is needed.

In Chapter 18, there was a triple space between a period in this sentence:

The white dragon stepped towards him. Her smile widened as his eyes met hers.

In the same chapter, I noticed a tense change:

Redwing has lagged a little behind, his ripped wing causing him more trouble than he'd thought, and so it was Lora who landed next.

In this case, "has" is used in the present tense. It should be:

Redwing had lagged a little behind...

However, this was the only tense error I noticed throughout your entire nineteen chapters. (So well done!)

Overall, grammar was pretty much impeccable—you certainly knew what you were doing! These were all the typos I found, so well done! All your story needs is a quick reread and edit, and you're good to go!

Characters: 4/5

I loved the differences in your characters! They each had problems they had to face (Redwing and his powers, and his mom; Coquina and her seer powers; Tetra and his parents; Lora and her failure of the Trials of Adulthood) and I felt like it just added to their characters! (Also, can we talk about how unique and cool the names are?)

I did have some problems, and I feel like the relate more to dialogue and writing style, so I'll focus more on it in those sections—but, there were times when your characters did feel a little flat. Most of the time, I found them quite realistic, but there were parts where dialogue was a bit like info-dumping and a little robotic, which made characters sound a little unrealistic, too. I'll elaborate more on that now.

Writing Style: 4/5

For the most part, the writing style was highly enjoyable. It's hard to find well-written books on Wattpad, but I definitely think this was one of the few—it just needs a little work, however.

In general, your writing almost never told. I could get the setting—and your descriptions of the dragons (especially Redwing and Coquina) were wonderful. I loved the descriptions of Coquina, especially, because her colour was so unique to me.

However, there were some parts I did feel it slipped sometimes. For example, dialogue could be a bit robotic—especially when you were giving information. I think it's a wonderful way to worldbuild with dialogue—however, giving a lot of information at the same time and in one speech can make dialogue a bit unrealistic (hence why I found your characters falling a bit flat sometimes). In real life, would anyone speak like that?—I always ask myself that if I'm stuck. I suggest trying to give information in little bits and pieces so it's a bit more subtle and makes it a little less robotic.

There were some instances where I felt the writing was a bit telly, too (I'm really nit-picking here; I think your writing was amazing). An example would be in, I believe, the second chapter where Coquina talks about her visions. The way she (well, the narrator as it was in third person) said it felt a little too casual, almost as if the narrator was chatting to the audience. In that certain part, I suggest adding some more description and information to make it seem less offhand and more something that sounds a little deeper. The way it was casually mentioned made it seem as if it wasn't as important, and the way Coquina mentioned it didn't feel... well, I can't find the right word, but I believe it could have been shown to the audience in a better way.

Sorry if this sounds a little confusing, I think your writing is great, just that sometimes writing could be a little telly. A great way to find those places and solve the problem would just be to reread all your previous written chapters with fresh eyes (maybe days after writing—or weeks) because it's actually surprising how much you notice after even a day. Otherwise, wonderful writing style! I enjoyed reading chapters quite a lot!

Plot + Originality: 4.5/5

I don't usually read stories with animals as the main characters (I don't relate to them as much), but I did enjoy reading your story. Your plot was so unique, too! I loved the clans, I loved the names, I loved each character's backstory—there wasn't much I didn't enjoy.

My only problem (and it's quite a tiny problem) is that sometimes I felt the pacing was a bit off. For example, I felt Tetra and Lora needed more time to develop their relationship. It didn't feel so realistic as they only know each other for a short amount of time.

My main problem was when the four met up. It didn't really feel as realistic as Redwing had just gone through a lot. I would have loved something more—maybe they accidentally met up? I felt like after what just happened, Redwing would find it hard to just sign up for something as serious as the Phantom Trials (obviously, I'm being a bit nit-picky here, the way they met is alright as it is). Maybe Coquina could contact them personally after that fight? I felt that the fact that they followed a stranger to a cave to hold a meeting was kind of unrealistic. Perhaps there could have been other ways for them to meet?

Overall, I enjoyed your plot a lot! I just felt some parts needed working on.

OVERALL SCORE: 20.5/25

This is such a wonderful story, honestly. I think it's definitely underrated, and for any big animal-related story lover—this is an amazing read. It has all the right elements of fantasy in it. I think they way your main characters met could have been improved upon (if you asked me to be really nit-picky). There are some small problems and typos that need a reread and edit to work out, but I can see this becoming a great book! Well done! I hope this helps in some way.