The clock struck 10 at night. The working people had returned to their homes after the hectic schedule of Monday. Dhondu was almost taking a nap by lying his head on the table.

Sameer was sitting on the mattress spreading his legs and a pillow clutched in his arms. He was lost in today's happenings in the acting class. He was so disappointed with himself today. Only two classes were left now before the finale on the 28th, and today he had been so incompetent with a scene.

What are you doing Sameer... You have to focus... Don't think about the other things... only the acting matters...

He was just consoling himself. He sighed and tried to stop his chain of thoughts he was immersed in since evening.

The three months course of Sameer's acting class was overall a good experience for him, which was about to conclude now. He had learnt so many new things in the class which he never thought were a part of acting while watching films. He learnt about the getups, how just changing clothes actually affects your body language, how to get into a character and how to project a voice in different situations. He never thought he may have stage fear, but that one unprepared audition in front of mere assistants in a producer's office had forced him into that zone. The humiliation he faced that day had pierced through him, making him register that the school-college life was such a bliss where he was a hero for everyone. But after joining the class, he always had twenty onlookers who were his fellow mates. So the stage fear was actually gone by now. He had also shed inhibitions of performing a mediocre person when he walked on streets selling samosas one day. Shergill Sir was true that day; a hero could be anyone, who emerges as a winner at the end. How these bollywood movies had put a blindfold on the audience, with their unethical perceptions about a hero!!! He realized. He came to know that the trust game he played on the first day wasn't just a game, but it actually helped him in putting a faith in his co-artist. He had discussed films, film actors, their biographies and their specialities in the class. He learnt a few basic dance steps too, sometimes classic waltz and sometimes he danced on just random songs from movies.

He was satisfied with his own performances in the class, but today was different. He was nothing close to the expectations of Shergill Sir and he was upset with himself too. He had returned home late in the evening, spoke only when he was asked about something and came to the bedroom immediately after dinner, forgetting yesterday's promise to himself to reduce Naina's stress. But the reason was such, at least for him, that he couldn't avoid thinking about it.

A sound of a latch broke his reverie. He turned his face to see Naina coming in, locking the door and sitting on his left... without any book today. Isn't she studying tonight? He just smiled at her, getting a same beautiful smile in return. Naina grabbed a cushion from her back, put it on her lap and gestured to Sameer to rest on it. And it was the moment when he realized that he can't fool Naina, that he cannot hide anything from her for long. She gauges the situation quickly. He silently agreed to it and rested his head on her lap, sleeping parallely to the wall.

They spent a few minutes in tranquility. Naina was raking her fingers through Sameer's hair, applying a little pressure on his scalp so as to give him a massage. She was stroking her thumbs on his forehead and brows to relax him. His Naina was a doctor for him, a doctor of his mind. She would ease out his worries in seconds. He never needed another specialist to visit, because all the cure of his tensions, fear, anxiety, restlessness, stress, rage, disgust was his wife... his Naina...

He grabbed her one hand and kissed on the back of her palm once... twice... thrice... He rubbed his palm with hers and kept it on his heart, as if wanting her to know that his heart beats only for her and he is nothing without her. He closed his eyes, not letting her dive into it.

"Kya baat hai Sameer?" Naina finally broke the silence, after waiting for long to let Sameer speak up.

He just shook his head sideways, hesitating a bit, and kissed her hand once more.

Sameer, kya kar rahe ho tum? Aise karoge acting films me?

He recollected Shergill Sir's words again, he had scolded him for the first time in front of the whole class.

A soft voice fell into his ears again. "Sameer, class mein koi baat hui hai kya?" Naina gently asked.

He didn't want to refuse her for anything, there wasn't such a big reason for that, but he just needed some peace. "Naina.... Thodi der aisehi rehne do..." He entwined her fingers with both his hands and placed it on his chest. Naina continued to play with his hair with her free one and he took himself to the class again.

The 'Natasha Antara Acting School' had arranged a small event on 28th for the students, where they would be performing a 20-25 minute act in front of their family. However they were asked to keep it a secret from the family, wishing to surprise them. And since last week, all the students of the acting class were being assessed for their acting skills. They would be given 10 minute scenes to perform, as the students were grouped into two or three people. For the first half, all the students would prepare for the finale performance and they would work on their daily 10 minute performance in the second half. There were no instructions given by Shergill Sir and all students were supposed to perform the scenes with their own interpretations. So the students would prepare scenes and practice dialogues on their own with the partners.

Today, Sameer was paired with Avantika, his fellow mate and were given a father-daughter scene, where the daughter is about to get married and they share some memories. It was one of a kind of scene Sameer was facing in the three months, as he was portraying an old age father for the first time. He discussed and prepared the scene with Avantika. For the performance in front of the class, he sat on a chair and Avantika sat down near his knee. But, Shergill Sir wasn't happy with Sameer and was interrupting them in between.

"Kya baat hai Sameer... Yeh kya kar rahe ho tum? Tum ek pitaa ka kirdar nibha rahe ho na, aise baat karoge apne beti se?" Shergill Sir interrupted him again.

Sameer was startled by the tone of Shergill Sir. He tried again, "Yaad hai Avantika... Itni si thi tum jab ek cycle ke kiye zidd kiya karti thi... Aur aaj dekho, kitni badi ho gayi meri beti..."

"Sameer...." The voice was louder this time. "Kya kar rahe ho tum? Aisi acting karoge film me? Emotions kaha hai?" Shergill Sir was standing with his hands on his waist.

"Sir, mai koshish kar raha hun..." Sameer reasoned, feeling embarrassed.

Shergill Sir composed himself, "Sameer, tumhare beti ki shadi hai... Tumhare sath itne saal rahi hai, tumne use sambhala hai, bada kiya hai... Aur woh shadi karke ja rahi hai... socho, tumhe kaisa lagega... ek baap aisi situation kya mehsoos karega apne beti ke prati... woh saare emotions tumhe dikhane padenge Sameer..." He tried to explain the situation, given that Sameer wasn't able to emote it properly.

"Sir, mai koshish kar raha hun... Lekin mai real life me papa bana nahi hun na... toh shayad woh emotions aa nahi paa rahe mujhe..." Sameer just tried to lighten the situation and maybe tried to convince himself about his incapability.

Shergill Sir wasn't pleased with his excuse. He gave an angry stare to Sameer, "Avantika, tum thodi der apni jagah par jaake baitho." As Avantika left for her place, Shergill Sir slided his chair next to Sameer. "Lekin Sameer, yahi toh acting hai na... Har waqt toh tumhare paas anubhav nahi hoga na kuchh mehsoos karne ke liye... Yahi toh actor ka kaam hota hai... ek actor apne dum par woh kirdaar khada karta hai." He tried to expound.

Sameer looked down. He was understanding Shergill Sir's point, but probably he couldn't see himself in place of a father, or maybe Avantika was just his age, or there was any other reason, he couldn't fathom. He sat still, listening to his instructor.

"Sameer, agar tumhe khud ko koi anubhav nahi hai, toh kisi aur ko apne saamne lao... Apne pitaa ko aankhon ke saamne lao... " Shergill Sir tried to make it easy for Sameer, unknown to his personal life.

Sameer looked up, alarmed by the words. He smirked mentally, how can he imagine his own father? He hadn't seen one. And he never wanted to place Mr. Somani in that place. But he didn't utter anything.

Shergill Sir continued, "Apne pitaa ke sath apne kuchh pal yaad karo Sameer... Woh tumhare sath kaise rehte the... Agar tumhari behen hogi toh unn dono ke bitaaye hue kuchh pal... Ya koi bhi aisi shaksiyat jinko tumne dekha ho... woh sab yaad karo... unki jagah apne aap ko rakhke dekho... Socho Sameer..." He prodded.

Sameer closed his eyes. His mental peace had been messed by now. He had to imagine a father figure in his life. But, that shouldn't be difficult... He had been with many men in his life... Like Nanu to start with... Nanu was someone above everything for him. He had shared every kind of relation with Nanu. He could've easily seen himself step into Nanu's shoes and visualise an emotional scene, but somehow his mind refrained from it. And... Image of a father? Well, he could see only blurred faces... He remembered Nanu had told him once that before getting married to Vivek Somani, Vishakha would cry day and night by clutching her dead husband's photo frames in her arms. She had lost her senses. And for Vishakha's life's sake, Nanu had to destroy all the things that would remind Vishakha of her husband. And then little kid Sameer, who was so small to even register his father's face in his mind permanently, who didn't even know what's life and death, somehow understood his mother's pain and never asked about his father again. For Mr. Somani, he was never a man for him that he could see as father. When he was staying with Kamlesh Mamaji, he always respected him as an elderly person, treated their family as his family, but the events that occurred lately between them, had forced Sameer to his resentment.

When he tried to focus on people in the smaller circle, he could only see Chachaji and Rakesh papa in recent times, whom he can recall being nice to him. It reminded him of how Anand had always been a great support to Naina and him in their love story, in their marriage, in everything. He had seen him crying badly during Naina and Preeti's bidaai. But what he must have talked with Naina, when their wedding was fixed?

And the kind of 'hridayparivartan' Rakesh Papa had in recent times, he was happy that Naina was finally getting her father's love. But an emotional conversation between Papa and Naina? Still seems to be impossible. Because, it didn't matter how much Rakesh papa had changed, he may never speak up that freely to his daughter and confess that he cares for her or how he had never shown his affection as a father towards her in her childhood.

He just couldn't form a single filmy scene between Chachaji-Naina or Papa-Naina. Ugghhh... Why these men are so complicated... Why can't they simply express their feelings to their children? He muttered a silent curse to men at Aggarwal's and opened his eyes.

By the time, Shergill Sir had relaxed on the chair, he had crossed his legs, one of his hands fisted under his chin and he was noticing all the changing expressions on Sameer's face. He gave a lopsided smile, "kya hua? Koi chehra nazar nahi aa raha? Huhhh... baap banna aasan baat nahi hai... khair tumhari jab beti hogi, tum khud-ba-khud samajh jaoge..." He patted teasingly on Sameer's shoulder, "Lekin hum tab tak intezaar nahi kar sakte Sameer... Yeh scene hame aaj hi karna hai... Chalo, ek aur nazariye se dekhte hai... Farz karo ki tumhari biwi iss duniya mein nahi hai aur tumne akele apni beti ko bada kiya hai... toh yeh...."

"Sir please..." Sameer's scared voice grabbed almost everyone's attention back to them. He just didn't want to listen to it further. His face was laden with fear, something which was unimaginable for him.

But Shergill Sir immediately got the fact that Sameer connected the dots to his real life. He straightend, his voice back to serious, "Sameer mai tumhari asal zindagi ki baat nahi kar raha... tum abhi ek kirdaar me ho bhulo mat... Dekho Sameer, acting aise nahi hoti... ek abhineta na jaane kitni zindagiya jeeta hai kirdaar me rehkar... usko kya kuchh nahi sochna padta hai uss kagaz pe likhe hue scenes ko haqeeqat me laane ke liye..."

He bent further, leaning on his elbow, "Film industry me tike rehna mazak nahi hai Sameer... tumhe apni asal zindagi aur pardewali zindagi me fark karna seekhna hoga... har cheez ko apni neeji zindagi se jodna band karo... nahi toh tumhare andar ka kalakar kabhi ubhar nahi payega.... "

Sameer didn't lift his head up for the whole time. He felt way too embarrassed. Shergill Sir sighed and added, "Sameer, thoda sa break lo... ispe gaur karo, hum kuchh samay baad firse yeh scene karenge..." Saying this, Shergill Sir left and announced a short break for everyone.

The remaining pairs and groups performed after the break. Sameer and Avantika too performed again, better than last time but still not upto the mark as stated by Shergill Sir.

And since then, Sameer was completely lost in a different zone. His mind had transformed into a storm. So many thoughts occupied his mind at a time.

Was he inefficient as a hero? As an actor?

Would he be successful in this industry? Would he be able to fulfill everyone's dream of him becoming a hero?

Why couldn't he live a simple life with both his parents and have a normal childhood like others?

What a father figure must be like? Who is a father figure for him?

Nanu was his everything, he knew. But how would have been his life if his father was alive? How would they have shared the bonding?

Farz karo, tumhari biwi iss duniya me nahi hai... No No No... he just didn't want to imagine a situation like this even in his dreams... not even to help himself in getting into such a character...

no... no... don't go to that path Sameer...

Baap banna aasan nahi hai... Jab tumhari beti hogi toh tum khud samajh jaoge...

And he snapped opened his eyes. That one line... that line had taken him to the unseen future. His daughter... the thought itself gave him shivering through his body. His own blood in the form of flesh... his child... his and Naina's child... their own kid.

Will he be a good father? How would he be with his child, his daughter say.

He would be the best father in the world. But he doesn't know what an ideal father is like... He hadn't seen anyone that closely in his life...

And he flashed back to the days when they all believed that Naina was expecting. They all were on cloud nine. He had taken extra care of Naina in those few days. So yes, he can be a good father. But no, can he really?

He just turned to his right, facing Naina's stomach now. Yes, their baby would be growing in her womb. What if that pregnancy report was positive? Naina would have been two months pregnant by now. They would have had frequent visits to gynecologists by now... they would have had some sonography tests in this time span, he believed.

All those thoughts made him overwhelmed and emotional. He wrapped his left arm around Naina's lower back to hold her, and kissed her belly. He rubbed his nose on her stomach and kissed there once again. Maybe he was showing his love and affection to the baby who was only in his thoughts.

Naina, who was still running her fingers through Sameer's hair for a few minutes now, jerked with her husband's sudden action. She felt his lips on her belly, though over her top and a shiver ran down her spine, messing her system completely. She had stopped what she was doing and was just watching Sameer. She saw him kissing and rubbing his face on her belly. What is he doing? Does he want to... But... this was something different... this wasn't the usual kiss that Sameer blesses her body with. This kiss didn't hint at his carnal desires. That one she could easily perceive. This one possessed a lot of love, affection, assurance, comfort and emotions.

She placed her hand on his cheek, making him turn to look at her, "Sameer... kya baat hai? Batao na mujhe... Mera dil ghabra jaa raha hai..."

Sameer looked at her, her eyes almost filled with tears. Did he scare her? Getting up immediately, he sat and turned to Naina. He caressed her face with his palms, and not letting her tears fall down, he wiped them with his thumbs.

"Tum ro kyun rahi ho?" He asked.

Her voice cracked, "tumhe kya hua hai? Kabse aise shant aur udaas baithe ho? Batao na Sameer, tumhe meri kasam hai."

You fool Sameer... you made her cry... He cursed himself. Smiling at his wife, he dipped further and kissed her lips. Taken aback with the sudden kiss, Naina calmed down. This was her usual Sameer... mischievous...

"Kuchh khas baat nahi hai Naina... bass aaj ka din kuchh achchha nahi gaya... Isi wajah se thoda upset tha." He pacified her.

"Toh batao na phir mujhe... Mai kis liye hun yaha pe..." She treated him with the 'pyaar wali daant'.

He then narrated how he faced difficulties while performing the scene in the class, how he was mortified with his inability to act and the way Shergill Sir's words had disturbed him, but tactfully eliminating some scenarios here and there. He shared only the surface, but hid the gravity of its impact on him.

He received a smack on his arm. "Tum... pagal ho tum Sameer... itni si baat ke liye dara diya tumne mujhe..."

He rubbed his palm on his arm, "itni se baat lagti hai yeh tumhe? Pata hai, Shergill Sir sabke saamne daant rahe the... sab log aise aankhein phad-phad kar dekh rahe the mujhe..." He sulked.

"Haan toh thik hai na Sameer... nahi hota hai kabhi kabhi apna din... jaise aaj tumhara nahi tha... Lekin ek din ke wajah se tumhe yeh sochne ke zaroorat nahi hai ki tum achchhe hero nahi banoge. Tum banoge... zaroor banke... mujhe yakeen hai tum par..." Her eyes shone.

"Achchha?" He flicked his brow.

Naina grabbed his hands. "Haan... Aur Sameer, ise bhi ek naya sabak hi samjhkar chalo... ke kisi bhi character ko samajhne ke liye, tumhe gehrai tak jaana hoga... bass, thoda dil lagakar kam karo Sameer... aur haan, yahan padhai-chor mat banna..." She tapped on her forehead teasingly.

He could only feel love, deep love through Naina's soothing words. She always believed in him and he was truly a hero for her.

"Aur hamari beti?" He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, completely in a playful mood now.

The wide grin of Naina turned into a blush, her eyes lowered and cheeks colored crimson red due to his question while her fingers digged his forearms with the sudden move, "Woh bhi ho jayegi Mr. Maheshwari..."

"Achchha?" He asked again, his voice husky this time. But a question was still there in his mind. "Naina, pata nahi mai kamyaab hero banunga ya nahi... lekin bass... ek achchha papa bann paaun..." He put forth his wish, still gripping her tight in his hold.

Naina heaved a sigh in exhilaration listening to this. She had no doubt that the man sitting in front of her would be the best father to their kid. "Tum bohot achchhe papa banoge...", she kissed on his cheek. "Aur Sameer, achchhe maa-baap banne ke liye dusron ko dekhkar seekhne ki zaroorat nahi hai... woh hum me apne aap aa jayega..." And she kissed on his other cheek.

He was quite relieved now. His mind doctor had mollified his worries, and he too felt that he was just overthinking. Blessing her with a smile that she deserved, he peppered gentle kisses on her face, starting from her forehead, to eyes, to nose and then finally her lips, spending more time there.

No matter how bad their day had been, they always found their solace in each other's arms, in each other's embrace. That mere affectionate touch to each other would heal their wounds. They might not have lengthy and preachy discussions every night, but a word of assurance from their partner would do wonders for them. And at the end of the day, by cuddling one another at night, they would just fall into deep slumber and wake up refreshed, energized and full of positive vibes the next day. 

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