Rakesh finished performing pooja of Lord Krishna idol. Being Sunday morning, he was accustomed to the routines going at a slower pace. He too always liked Sundays personally; for someone working six days a week at a job, the importance of a Sunday would always be a bit higher. After his voluntary retirement, he had found it difficult to spend his weekdays. Even if he knew and was prepared for it, there had come a sudden emptiness in his life. His books were the best solution he must have found to overcome the boredom occurring due to the early retirement life.

He had always found solace in books... stories, novels, poems, plays... he liked every form of written art in Hindi. He had often found himself lost in the fictional world, many a times he had found himself in the same place as the katha nayak, relating to it. It was something that provided him with distractions from the real life problems, at least for some time. Working in a library was the best thing that happened to him, as he was always surrounded by books. Those wooden and metal shelves, the smell of new books, maintaining the books' quality, finding himself shouting at students when the books were damaged... he loved his work.

However, the school library at PVKM had obviously more books related to the students. So even if he wished to read something new in whatever little time he got, he used to find very little resources at his help.

But since the time he had started going to the State Central Library here in Mumbai, he felt as if he was a little kid lost in a toys' showroom. It had literally everything he wanted. Right from fiction to non-fiction, from old classics to newly published, from magazines in all the languages to educational and business related books. It had everything. Being a State Library, it had books primarily in Marathi, but it also had collections from Hindi, English, Gujarati and Bengali literature, and also their translations. He was almost eating books when in the library since he had increased his diameter in the various genres and languages.

He was fully satisfied from his work in the library. He was paid a salary he had never imagined, his work hours and days were set according to his wish, and as he had stated on the first day itself, he was receiving orders from nobody. The management was happy with his work, rather, they were asking him to join full time for a month now. He was confused about the decision and was still in the process of thinking whether he should accept the full-time job offer or not.

As a consequence to his continuing dilemma, he was being called to the library on some Saturdays too, and sometimes for more hours than what's decided on the other days. Yesterday too, he was called in the library when he actually wanted to stay at home since Naina has her half-day. He wanted to help her in the chores given that she had doubled her study timing. But when he returned home in the evening, he felt slightly guilty to know that she had finished all the work by herself. That's why when Sameer had asked him to help with the dinner preparation, he had happily agreed.

He realized he needed to take a call on these requests from the library outside of his working hours and days.

He gazed at the holy book of BhagwadGeeta and prayed to God to give him the wisdom to make the decision soon.

Entering into the kitchen, he saw Naina had taken all the steel containers of groceries and utensils out to clean the shelves. She had a broom, some old newspapers and a cloth in hand.

"Abhi Diwali par hi toh sab saaf kiya tha na... phirse kyu kar rahi hai?" He asked her, keeping his hands on his hips.

"Aise hi Papa." Her voice was low and a little hoarse.

Rakesh expected more, but she didn't utter anything further. He had noticed that her chirpy talks in the mornings were missing today. She had been terribly quiet since she woke up.

"Pehle bata deti mujhe... mai pooja baad me karta..." Rakesh said casually and got nothing from Naina in response. She continued sweeping the insides of the bottom shelves.

Rakesh lingered there for no reason. Naina's silence was disturbing him. "Aur Sameer utha nahi abhi tak? Sadhe-aath ho gaye."

"Nahi," Naina mumbled, getting up and wincing with a pain in her lower back.

Rakesh looked at her carefully. She had wrapped a dupatta around her neck, which he hadn't seen her before taking one on the night suit. Her face looked pale and her eyes were swollen. His brows curved in concern for her, "teri tabiyat thik nahi hai kya, beta?" He caressed her cheek and then checked her forehead.

"Mai thik hu Papa," Naina answered and resumed her cleaning in silence again.

Rakesh didn't have any other option to accept her response and then sit on the couch quietly. She didn't look interested in waking Sameer up and Rakesh pondered whether he should prepare the breakfast without waiting for him or should straightaway get something from out.

But it wasn't about the food. It was Naina's quietude that was making him worried. Looking at her mood, Rakesh went to the closest mart after informing her. He couldn't see his daughter this way and thought of bringing home Naina's favorite breakfast.

All the containers and utensils were arranged to their respective shelves, but Naina's cleaning drive seemed to be not only limited to the kitchen. It also extended to the living room, dusting and cleaning all the shelves and cupboards with a wet cloth and a dry cloth.

Sameer entered the living room while scrubbing his eyes, his head still heavy with the lack of sleep. He rubbed his face with his palms as he sat on the couch, observing the silence in the house. Naina was dusting the wooden stand of the cordless when Sameer gazed at her. She had surrounded the dupatta around her neck in an unusual way. He frowned. Naina never took a dupatta on a night suit. That appeared weird to him... too weird...

He saw her hissing when she was done with the television set and her dupatta got stuck in the nail on the edge of the tv table, pulling her back to it. He was next to her within a moment, guessing the border of the dupatta must have scuffed badly on her neck. Naina tried to push his hand away when he tried to unwrap the material from her; he held her hand firmly though, resisting her resistance strongly, and exposing the curve of her neck with his other hand to check if the dupatta caused any damage to her skin.

His eyes widened when he recognized that it wasn't the georgette fabric, but he himself who had caused the damage. He sucked in huge air seeing the love bite that Naina was trying to hide. It had turned almost purple now and it didn't look good one bit on his delicate wife's fair skin.

A surge of guilt passed through Sameer's nerves. It wasn't just the pleasure yesterday, but also a mixt of angst and agony of the abstinence behind this mark. They both never really preferred to leave marks on their partner's body, and even if they did in the daze of pleasure, it was always on the parts privy to only them. Those used to be small pink spots and certainly not ugly like this one, which was starkly visible to anyone had Naina not covered it with dupatta.

He remembered how Naina had once left a mark on his neck after his act on the last day of the acting school. It had come out of jealousy. He had teased her the next day and told her that there's nothing to be embarrassed about... that she should rather be proud of it.

But this one has a different story... there was nothing to be proud of... he was rather ashamed of it...

His hand trembled to touch the spot, he wished to soothe it in every possible way, but before he could act on it, they heard the door latch opening, and Naina snatched the fabric from him and rushed to the bedroom, not before wiping a lone tear at the corner of her eyes.

Sameer stood rooted in the living room, sighing. The day had just started for him and the first wave of guilt had already hit him. But his temper hadn't subsided yet, their conversation from last night was still very much fresh in his mind. Seeing Papa entering the house with probably breakfast in hand, Sameer went to freshen up.

Rakesh was getting disturbed by the persistent tranquility in the house. He was now habituated with the constant chatter of Sameer and Naina, with each other and with him. Sundays used to be the day where they all would sit together for breakfast, used to watch tv, listen to songs on radio or cassettes. Though their family time had reduced after Naina indulged herself in studies more, it wasn't completely non-existent as he felt now.

He smiled when Sameer joined him in the kitchen for help in preparing the dishes for the breakfast.

"Papa, Naina bata rahi thi aap ko library me full-time job ke liye puchh rahe hai?"

"Haan, woh toh kabse puchh rahe hai..."

"Toh kya socha aapne?"

"pata nahi..." Rakesh said as he chuckled, "maine apne aap ko kabhi itni duvidha me paaya nahi hai... lekin iss baar kuchh samajh nahi aa raha hai..."

"Papa... aap par kisi baat ka pressure nahi hai... aapko jo sahi lage wahi kijiye... aur sirf apne liye yeh decision lijiye..."

Sameer tried to convey that Rakesh need not worry about the finance of the house and take any decision under its influence, also reminding himself that he needed to make his game stronger in getting work more often.

They heard a knock on the door and Shubham peeked in from the passage. Rakesh and Sameer welcomed Shubham with smiles, asking him to take a seat.

"Arey Shubham, bahot achchhe samay par aaye ho... mai samose aur jalebi lekar aaya hu garma-garam... ruko laata hu," Rakesh exclaimed.

"Nahi nahi tauji... mera nashta ho gaya hai," Shubham replied politely.

"Achchha chai toh peekar jao," Rakesh urged. Sameer insisted he would make the tea for all of them, but Rakesh made him sit.

"Naina hai?" Shubham asked.

"Aaa... woh nahane gayi hai," Sameer informed him, adjusting on the single sofa.

"Darasal maine usse kaha tha, mai November session ke exam papers arrange kar dunga... toh yahi dene aaya tha," Shubham took out a bundle of papers from his pocket and forwarded it to Sameer.

"Thank you Shubhamji... mai de dunga usse..." Sameer expressed his gratitude as he accepted the papers.

"Baki padhai kaisi chal rahi hai Naina ki?"

"Ji achchhi chal rahi hai."

"Waise yeh dekhke bahot khushi hoti hai ke tum hamesha uske saath khade rehte ho," Shubham voiced, smiling genuinely, "CA ki padhai aasan nahi hai... aur Naina ko toh training bhi karna hai sath me... lekin tumhare hote hue usse chinta karne ki zaroorat nahi hai..."

The smile on Sameer's lips dwindled; even if Shubham had stated a fact in admiration, it had hit him hard again after the last night. It had been a year for them in the society, and to know Shubham and his family closely. There was no doubt that everyone in the society had the impression of Sameer as a strong pillar of support for Naina by now.

Did he leave a dent on this image himself with his last night act?

Whenever he had gone through Naina's notes, half of the things had gone over his head. So he didn't need to be told that studying for CA is not easy. He knew it.

Sameer only nodded, wondering why the statement hurt him. He has always been supportive of Naina.

"Jiju aap?" Naina voiced from behind and Sameer's heart skipped the beat listening to her sweet voice for the first time since he woke up. True to his expectations, she had chosen the yellow stand collar suit and was adjusting its collar and dupatta again and again.

He lowered his eyes unknowingly...

Sameer kept listening as Shubham enquired about Naina's study after she sat on the couch. She hadn't glanced at him for once in all this time and his heart kept on beating at abnormal speed.

Rakesh joined them soon with a tray of tea and samose for all of them and they all devoured it with casual chats in between, whereas Sameer wasn't much interested in it. All he wanted was Naina to smile at him... or just look at him... once... just for a second... but she didn't.

After lunch, when Naina started taking Rakesh's clothes out from his cupboard, removing the bedsheet and the pillow cover of the mattress on the trunk and adding some more clothes of hers and Sameer's, Rakesh frowned. He looked at Sameer who was on the sofa and appeared unbothered about it.

When Naina disappeared in the bathroom with all the clothes, Rakesh broke the silence, "Aaj ise padhna nahi hai? Subah se aise saaf-safai kar rahi hai jaise hamare prandhanmantri ne 'Swachchh Bharat Abhiyan' ghoshit kiya ho... shanti se paanch minute baithi bhi nahi hai."

"Pata nahi." Sameer shrugged.

The frown on Rakesh's face stayed, he switched his gaze between Sameer and towards passage, figuring there's much more to this prevailing silence in the home today. "Tum dono ka jhagda hua hai kya?" he questioned.

"Aaaa..." Sameer licked his lips, averting his gaze from Rakesh and looking for something, "aaj cable pe nayi picture lagi hogi na... chaliye hum dekhte hai..." he said, switching the television on.

Sameer avoiding the question was itself the answer for Rakesh. He fathomed that there must be a tiff between Naina and Sameer. Well, a tiff? It looked more than that. More serious and more worrisome.

Naina dropped all the clothes on the floor of the bathroom, adding detergent into a water-filled bucket and thrusting clothes into it one by one. She was afraid she would cry anytime in front of Sameer or Papa, and at any random thing. Hence, she kept herself occupied with the cleanliness drive.

She had barely slept, hardly two to three hours, and since the time she woke up, she was replaying last night's arguments in her mind all over again... thinking what led Sameer to burst out this way, reasoning her side and his side too and understanding what was the root cause of this issue. The way Sameer had exploded out of nowhere indicated he had piled up all these emotions inside him for so long.

What made her regret more was its timing...

The volcano of his frustration exploded when he was denied physical pleasure, and at a time when he was on the edge.

How could she not see it coming?

This has been quite a long gap that she failed to comprehend. ...that he is also just a human being and will have physical needs. They were husband-wife and were quite active sexually. But she recognised that beyond this phenomenon called lovemaking, it was the 'love' that he was missing. As he had said that he was missing her love and her touch.

There had been nights when they made passionate love, out of strong carnal desires and lust. Lust is also an essential part of a relationship. You must feel physically attracted to your partner, you must feel the lust for him or her. And that's how the spark in the relationship remains alive. She had already known that they both lust each other at times. But the nights where they would 'make love' purely out of love for one another always overpowered the other ones.

They loved each other... immensely... madly... passionately...

And somehow, Naina failed to provide exactly that. Her love and affection towards him, her precious time, her random massage on his forehead, her caressing his cheeks, her engulfing him in her arms when he would rest his head on her chest.

She held Sameer's shirt in the air, which she was washing, and stared at it for some unknown reasons. This was his go-to shirt and she noticed how faded it had become by using it repeatedly. He needed some new shirts!!! She knew it... she knew it for a long time... and that's what she was doing all this for...

What had hurt her the most was the way Sameer brought up the topic of her unavailability. He put the entire blame of his frustration only on her... as if she was doing all this juggling between her office, her studies and her articles out of fun... he smartly bypassed the fact that he too was unavailable many times before this. Not necessarily in recent times but since he had started going to auditions rigorously. There had been times where she too had waited for him, counting every minute and every second of the day.

On top of it, he claimed that she was reminding him of not bringing a fixed salary at home at the beginning of the month. How could he even say that?

She hoped he only blurted out those words in anger and didn't actually mean it.

Because her Sameer would never say that...

Wasn't her job the utmost necessity for their survival in this city?

Looking at the volatile nature of the industry Sameer wanted to work in, wasn't it needed that one of them have a fixed income? She had taken the responsibility of it on her shoulders, so that Sameer could fly high while fulfilling his dreams... so that he doesn't have to worry about the monthly expenses and he could work freely without any pressure.

Has Sameer himself forgotten about this fact?

The bubble of her misconception burst on the night before his birthday. When he informed her about the 90 days payment system that works in his industry. That had put her in deep thinking. It meant that no matter how often or how rarely Sameer gets the work, for every payment, they had to wait for three months, that too from the date of first telecast.

This had made her belief more firm that she cannot leave CA no matter what.

Because only she knew how much the Karwachauth and Diwali shopping had cost them...

Only she knew how their joint bank account passbook had heavy debits and less credits...

Only she knew how she resisted the bank employee's suggestions about new investment options and the insurance policies. Because they needed the money in their account.

She had hidden the passbook from him just for that reason, so that he doesn't get worried about the money and stay focussed on his work.

Yes, she was occupied for most of the day for that very purpose. Probably this was the exact reason why she wanted to work with Mehta & Associates, because their office was here in Andheri and it would consume less of her time. Leave by 9:10 in the morning, and return home by 5:20 in the evening... simple...

But as Shubham had stated then, and she had agreed to the point too, money was a more important factor for her than the time taken for traveling.

But it seems... that only proved to be the main reason behind all this mess...

She rolled and twisted the bedsheet with the support of the tap, entangling it and draining all the water from it.

"Nainaa.... Arjun ko baat karni hai tujhse..." Rakesh hollered from the hall when she put all the washed clothes into the bucket again.

She got up from the small stool with again a sharp pain in her lower back. Ignoring it right away, she entered the hall with the bucket, taking the cordless from Rakesh.

Her gaze fell on TV and she saw the film 'Akele Hum Akele Tum' playing on the cable channel. It was a scene where Manisha Koirala's character's film premieres and her husband (Amir Khan's character) and the son are pushed away in the crowd. She glanced at Sameer and noticed that he was so engrossed in watching it. He had some serious expressions on his face.

"Hello bhaiya," Naina voiced, resting the bucket in her hand on the balcony floor.

Arjun greeted him merrily from the other side and asked how she was doing. Naina forced a smile on her face, not wanting to reveal anything even if it was a call. She told that she was doing good and asked in return about Arjun and Juhi.

Naina fixed the cordless between her ear and shoulder, and started putting the clothes on the bars while Arjun shared his and Juhi's life updates.

"Mai bhool hi gaya tha tere articles ka target pichhle ravivaar ko hi khatm ho gaya tha," Arjun said after a while.

Naina paused her doing, turning serious, "achchha hi hua na band ho gaye," she huffed.

"Kya kaha?"

"Aaa... nahi kuchh nahi bhaiya."

"Sab thik hai na, Naina?" Arjun detected a change in her voice.

"Haan bhaiya sab thik hai..." Naina assured him, stopping all her work. She faced outside, looking at the garden, and the last night fight flashed in her mind again.

"Bhaiya, ek baat puchhu aapse?"

"Haan puchh na."

"Bhaiya, aap dinbhar office me kaam karte ho... phir sham ko bachchon ko cricket bhi sikhate ho... kafi baar aap ravivar ko bhi jaate ho... toh in sab me..." she took a deep breath before continuing, "aap... Juhi ko samay kaise de paate ho?"

Arjun smiled at the other end with her innocent question, "yeh sab manage karna karna itna aasan nahi hota Naina... sapno ke taraf kabhi hum iss tarah bhagne lag jate hai, ki apne hi pichhe chhutt jaate hai... isliye... waqt nikaalna padta hai Naina... hamare apne ko liye, khud ke liye..."

Naina turned pensive listening to her brother. He was hitting the right nerves unknowingly.

"Toh mai bhi wahi karta hu... Juhi ke liye hamesha waqt nikalta hu... aur aisa nahi hai ki sirf mai akela hi sab kuchh karta hu... woh bhi office me aur ghar ke kaamo me busy rehti hai... lekin woh bhi unn sab me se mere liye waqt nikal leti hai..."

Naina smiled, knowing how her bhaiya-bhabhi were living a happy married life after all the chaos around their marriage; but with tears in her eyes, discerning that she had failed to realize this small thing.

"Waise tu kyu puchh rahi hai yeh? Sameer tujhe waqt nahi de paa raha hai?" Arjun casually asked.

"Nahi nahi bhaiya," Naina was quick to deny, "aisa kuchh nahi hai... maine toh bass aise hi puchha."

Arjun stayed silent, trying to get through the words from his little sister that were left unspoken. He tried to gauge the situation through her silence and breathing.

"Naina, shadi ho ya cricket ka match... strike hamesha rotate karte rehna chahiye... kabhi tum sambhal lena, kabhi samne wala sambhal lega... itna yaad rakhna ke tum akele sab kuchh nahi kar sakte... isliye yeh balance rakhna bahot zaroori hai..."

"Ji bhaiya," Naina answered, wiping her tears.

Arjun let out a warm smile and changed his tone, asking, "achchha sunn... Pata nahi mai yeh kaise bhool gaya... Papa ke janamdin par hamne jo photos nikale the, uski reel develop ho gayi hogi na?"

"Haan aa gaye photos..."

"Toh unn saare photos ki copies mujhe bhej na yahan."

"Thik hai bhaiya, mai Papa ko bata dungi... woh copies nikaal lenge."

Naina sat on the edge of the mattress with the photo album in hand, leaving the almirah open. Flipping the pages of the album, she reached Papa's birthday party photos. There must be hardly 6-7 photos, but it contained all the happiness in the world in them. The smiles, the joy, the flood of emotions reflecting through eyes... all the beautiful memories were locked in it.

Turning some pages back, she found her and Sameer's photos from Vatsavitri, where apart from her solo ones, they had clicked some couple photos too. That was enough for her eyes to become moist again.

How happy and content they both were looking in those pictures??

How did she let such precious little moments slip from her hands?

The way they were smiling looking at each other... the way they used to find the world in one another's presence... the way Sameer had held her possessively...

And she fathomed that it was not just Sameer, she too was missing his love and his touch. She wished to run at him right at this moment and hug him tightly... letting herself fall apart and cry inconsolably in his arms...

For once, she wanted to give up on all the responsibilities... for once she wanted to shed the tag of being a responsible working woman, and simply be a normal girl of her age... a twenty two year old girl who wished to live a normal life... for once, she wanted to pass a day doing nothing... simply eat, watch tv, listen to and sing songs loudly, dance on her own and sleep peacefully without worrying about anything... for once, she wanted to take a backseat and let Sameer take care of everything... let him take care of her like a small little girl...

For once... she wanted to give Sameer the strike...

She wanted to rush at him and confess she had missed him too... but she was hurt... his words last night had created deep wounds on her soul... and she couldn't forget them so soon.

He had almost accused her of being selfish when he said isme tumhare liye kya hai mai samajh sakta hu lekin mere liye tum kya kar rahi ho...

...she just couldn't forget this.

A sound caught her attention and she looked up with teary eyes, her vision was blurry but she could see that Sameer was looking for something in her pen stand. She quickly wiped her tears before Sameer noticed her.

Grabbing a pen and a notepad, Sameer turned and their eyes met.

The Earth seemed to stop revolving for both of them as they looked straight into each other's eyes for the first time after the night. Before today, if someone would have told them that they would be in the same house, around each other, but still not talk a word or glance at one another till a whole afternoon, they would have laughed unabashedly. But firsts can happen any time.

Emotions were getting overflowed between their eyelock... it had pain, agony, frustration, ego, love, longing, empathy, need...

But none of them had an apology...

They never knew how November breeze could be so strong that it carried the sound vibrations from the living room till the bedroom.

Not sure if it was due to the silence in the house or the silence between them, but they could hear the song playing on television clearly.

 Dil kehta hai... chal unn se mil...

Uthate hai kadam... ruk jaate hai...

Dil hum ko kabhi... samjhata hai...

Hum dil ko kabhi... samjhate hai...

*********

 Hey peeps, hope you all are doing well.

How did you find this chapter? Do let me know.

I was so happy to read all the comments on the last chapter. Some readers have connected to it so well and have read through the subtext so nicely that I can't express my happiness in words.

See, this is what a writer wants. So thank you all, please keep commenting. It helps me understand if you're aligned with my thoughts.

Any thoughts now that you get to know Naina's pov? It was pretty much clear by the way, but still...

The patch up is coming... don't worry... 😁

What do you think Rakesh should do with the offer from library?

Annnddd... previous voters who have turned silent readers now... plllleeeeaasssseeee vottee... it means a lot to me...

Love, ❤️