I doubt that anyone will care since it is literally one of the most boring books on the face of this planet, but there is a spoiler for Last of the Mohicans in here, so if you don't want to read it just skip the paragraph where you see it mentioned. It won't affect your understanding of the story... basically she's reading it and she's bored lol.

It was past eleven when she finally got home. She'd had to run by the hospital after the game, and sure enough, she'd gotten in trouble for being late to class that morning. The second long, overbearing lecture of the day, this time attended and participated in by both of her parents. Fortunately, she'd gotten Reagan ready for bed while they'd droned, and he'd fallen asleep on the car ride home. She transferred him to his basinet like the pro she was, and since he was a champ at sleeping through the night, it was probably the last she'd hear from him until morning.

She put on some Imagine Dragons to interrupt the eerie quiet of the empty house, then hit what homework she hadn't been able to get done over lunch or in her car before the wrestling match. Luckily, she had managed to finish her math and science, so what was left was what came easily to her, on the English side of things.

She skimmed two chapters of The Last of the Mohicans, only interested in knowing enough to earn full points on the next day's Socratic seminar that overviewed them and the three before them. The book was one of the driest, most boring things she'd ever read, and she already knew the only character she actually liked, Uncas, was going to die.

As she closed the book and checked it, the last item for the day, off of her list of homework and other tasks, she exhaled slowly. If her parents hadn't have ruined it in the end, she actually would have had a pretty good night.

Sure, she'd gotten punched, but other than that everything had gone well. They'd won the volleyball match and come out on top overall in the wrestling match. More importantly, Austin had made good on his promise and shown up, sitting with Ray and Reagan and making faces at both Adira and her brother the entire time he was there. And, he'd brought her coffee, which was probably the only reason her eyes were still open.

And, while she wasn't quite sure in her head how she felt about seeing Joel again and meeting his brother and sister-in-law, the feeling from the day before was back, telling her it was meant to be. And there was something about him that made her feel safe whenever he was around. But that was just her being weird.

Had he bought the excuse she'd given for her eye? Ray certainly hadn't, and she'd ended up telling him the truth because lying was clearly hopeless, saying she'd only lied in the first place because of the other people around when he'd asked. He'd accepted that answer, but not happily, and they'd remained in a text battle over whether or not she told anyone else until he'd gone to bed. The winner of that fight was still to be determined.

She didn't know why she cared whether or not Joel believed her, but she did. Maybe it was because she didn't want him to think the worst and call the police. That was probably it.

As for her parents, she'd painted concealer on her face at 10:00 at night just to avoid their inevitable accusations of her fighting and the punishment that would come as well seeing as they'd never believe the actual story.

She shook the thoughts away and rose, packing her supplies back into her backpack and plugging in her laptop so it would be fresh for the next day. Then, she crossed the kitchen to the candle she'd lit when she got home. Somehow, the smell seemed to fill the emptiness of the house just like her music did.

She paused a moment to watch it before she blew it out. She'd always loved and been fascinated by fire, no matter how big or small the flame was. The way it flickered and danced was mesmerizing, and so were the shadows it cast and the heat that you could feel from even a candle if you got close enough.

It fascinated her so much that she preferred to pinch the candles she lit rather than blowing them out. Something about touching the fire, just for a split second, was one of the most satisfying things on earth. But this time, she hesitated just a little too long, with her fingers just a little too close to the flame, and she swore softly as it bit her skin before she could get it smothered.

She glanced down at the fingers, but the damage was acute at worst. She'd forget about it within five minutes. And if she was being honest, it had actually felt kind-of good.

time-skip sponsored by turkeys

"That's what latex allergy means." She was trying to be nice, but this was this woman's job, and talking her through it was the last thing she had time for. "Things like band aids have to be latex free or else they give him a rash."

"Well, these band aids are made for children."

Thank God the lady couldn't see her face, because there was no way she could control it as well as she was managing to control her tone. "No, it's not that he's too young for them, although they're a choking hazard so they'd make me nervous anyway... it's that he's allergic to the latex that's in them so it gives him a rash. Most kids don't have that."

"Maybe I should call your mother..."

Now that got her, and she heard her own tone go from forced-friendly to cold-polite.

"My mother doesn't even know his allergies, Ms. Aster. His allergies are on his form, and they clearly state that latex irritates his skin. The band aid you put on him has latex in it. That's why he has a rash right now. Wash and put some cream on the rash and just leave the cut if it's as minor as you told me. You know the tricks that usually work to make him stop crying. Now, I really have to get back to class."

She'd become an expert at putting demeaning adults in their place, and the woman on the other line sounded sheepish and defeated when she spoke again.

"Of course, Adira. I'll call you back if we can't get him comfortable."

"Thank you very much, I'm sure you'll do fine."

And she hung up.

Her phone went back in her pocket, her head collided with the locker in front of her.

It really just wasn't her week, and apparently a five-star daycare center had never heard of latex before.

She combed a hand through her hair, cursing herself out inwardly as she felt tears bite at her eyes. Not here, not now, not ever. She didn't have time to cry, she didn't have the right to cry. She was an adult, and she needed to suck it up and start acting like one.

"Oh, look at that..."

She looked up sharply to find a haughty probably-sophomore swaggering towards her.

"Someone's finding out that being a **** and having a kid kinda sucks."

She bit back everything she wanted to say and turned back towards her classroom. "Get lost, freshman."

"The **** did you just call me?"

"Freshman." She didn't even turn to look at him as she repeated the word. "Because you were acting like a sixth grader, but this is a high school, so I assumed that wasn't right."

"I'm not a ******* freshman, you little..."

She cut him off. "Then stop acting like one and go to class."

Then, she yanked open her classroom door and left him to bluster outside.

Lindi, the one part of this class that Adira didn't like, was currently in the middle of one of her I'm-the-smartest-person-ever speeches, and her teacher, Mr. Rolys, locked eyes with her as came back in, mouthing, Everything okay? as she passed. She nodded hurriedly and looked at the ground.

He was her favorite teacher she'd ever had, but that didn't mean she was going to burden him with her stupid problems. He had a class to teach, she had material to learn, and they could get back to it as soon as Lindi shut up.

She was starting to wind down now, thank the Lord.

"I just don't understand why we keep honoring all these people when they were so terrible to so many people."

Adira didn't really know who she was talking about this time or how it related to the Civil War, which they were trying to do an intro on, but she also didn't have the energy to care.

"I mean, it took us a hundred years to even end slavery. Why should be honor anyone who lived before that?"

Okay. It was still stupid, but at least she could kind of see how they got there.

Rolys smiled a little, looking around the rest of the class. "I don't know. Should we honor those people? If we should, how should be do it in a realistic way?"

There was a short moment of silence. If literally anyone else wanted to answer, that would be great.

Apparently, they didn't. She resigned herself to her fate.

"The thing is," she said, a little tiredly. "We don't honor them because they were perfect. We honor them because they were flawed humans who did something great. I'm not saying all of them deserve to be looked up to, but some of them do. If we require perfection for role models, we're not going to have any. Plus, people seem to think no one even started talking about eliminating slavery until right before the Civil War. That's not true. Some of the founding fathers wanted to get rid of it from the start, but they compromised to keep the states together. I'm not saying that was right, but some of them spoke out against it very loudly and passionately. The problem doesn't come in honoring flawed people... it comes in covering up their flaws and presenting them like they were perfect. I don't look up to George Washington because he was some sort of a god. I look up to him because he rose above a lot and struggled a lot and still did something great. People don't need to be heroized or villainized... they're just people. As long as we can see a person as they were, with their flaws and their virtues, we'll learn from both their triumphs and their mistakes and become better because of it."

She felt a little bit of satisfaction rise inside of her at the proud smile that entered Rolys's eyes, just like it did whenever one of them said something that proved they were really starting to think. Some teachers wanted to teach you what to think, but that wasn't how he was. He just wanted to teach them how to think.

"But should be honor a murderer because he also founded an orphanage?" Lindi argued. "Things just don't work like that."

"We don't honor him as perfect," she replied simply, "but to the kids in the orphanage he founded, there's still something about his life to be thankful for, because they're living in part of his legacy. Like it or not, we are the kids in the founding fathers' orphanage, and we have to understand that we wouldn't be here without them."

"That doesn't discount the wrong that they did, though." She was talking in circles, because she hated it when Adira won.

"If right can't discount wrong, then wrong can't discount right either," she offered with a little shrug. "They're both there, neither can go away. This isn't a game of points... it's just the way life is, and you have to be able to see people for what they really were, defined by neither their rights nor their wrongs."

The other girl sighed, staring her down for a minute, so she spoke up again.

"You're right..." That would make her feel better. "They weren't perfect. But that doesn't mean that they didn't do some good."

"Why do you think that's so hard for us to grasp?" Rolys jumped back in. "Why do you think we are always so set on seeing people as either heroes or villains?"

"Because we're trash?" James asked

"Maybe because our identities are trash," Adira counter.

"Expand on that, would you, Adira," Rolys prompted, smiling at her a little.

"I mean, we suck at seeing ourselves in a realistic light," she explained, "So, we're obviously gonna suck at seeing others that way. It seems like we either love ourselves way too much, or we hate ourselves. We're either the kings and queens of the world or monsters in our own eyes, and we can change our minds about which one we are twenty times a day. If that's how we see ourselves, that's how we're gonna see others too."

"So, we have to be able to see our own flaws and virtues realistically and define ourselves by neither before we can even try to see others in a realistic light?" he summarized.

She nodded a little. "Exactly."

"That's deep."

Adira just shrugged and looked back at the floor. She didn't even realize what a nerd she was being until after she'd already been one in just about every way possible, and then all she had left to do was regret her life.

Except that she lived for that pride in his eyes, and it was always when she was at her nerdiest that she got that the most.

There was a short moment of silence, then the bell rang, and a chorus of groans arose when all of them realized they hadn't even started to pack up. Rolys spoke over the various sounds of papers and zippers as the quickest of them headed for the door.

"Don't forget... quiz tomorrow, topics are on the board."

Adira heaved her backpack onto her back and grabbed her water bottle before joining her classmates as they flowed towards the door.

Rolys caught her gaze as she passed him. "Hang in there."

She forced a smile in return and walked out the door. She would certainly try.