She didn’t go to the hospital the next morning. She worked out at home, used the things Joel had given her to conceal the burns and the cuts and the bruises, responded to Ray and Austin promising everything was fine, dropped Reagan off, and went to class on time.

    And everything went fine until she checked her phone after second period and found a message from her mother, saying she’d been discharged and they would deal with her behavior when she got home that night.

    And then she found herself outside Rolys’s classroom, slumped headfirst against the wall, unable to breathe. She thought she was crying. She didn’t really know. All she knew was that the world was breaking and she had no idea how to make it stop. 

    “Adira?” 

    She knew she knew the voice, but her mind was in utter chaos and she couldn’t comprehend who it was.

    “Adira, what… what’s the matter? What’s wrong?”

    They were coming home. They were going to be there, all the time. She was… they were… 

    She slammed her head into the wall, hard, just to try to make it all stop.

    “Hey! Hey, hey, don’t do that!” 

    Hands touched her shoulders, but just for long enough to lift her away from the wall so whoever it was could place himself between it and her. 

    “Adira, are you… can you hear me?”

    Her eyes were pressed shut, but she nodded.

    “Are you… are you okay if I touch you?” 

    Once again, she nodded.

    “Okay.” The hands returned to her shoulders as their owner said to someone else, “Go get Rolys.” Then to her again, “Adira, can you… can you open your eyes?”

    She did. The hallway was too bright, but she focused on the person in front of her. James. It was James.

    Her parents were coming home. They were coming home. 

    “You… you know what’s a fun game?” James asked. “Telling me all the reasons I annoy you. I know you want to.”

    “You don’t…” She tried. “You don’t have to…” 

    “No, come on, I know you can do it,” he encouraged. “You must have quite the list. Hit me.”

    “You…” 

    Her parents… they…

    “You think it’s cute to act like an idiot.”

    “Good. Yeah, good. What else?”

    What if they found out about the medicine? Had she left it out in the bathroom? She couldn’t remember.

    “You think you… that you’re all that and it is so annoying.”

    “I knew you were gonna be way too good at this,” he laughed nervously. “One more?”

    “You… Oh, God.”

    “Hey, you’re good, you’re okay!” He sounded so terrified. “Just one more.”

    “You give Rolys so much freaking crap.”

    “I like that one.” 

    She looked to her right and saw her teacher, bending down to her level, then back to James in front of her, offering her a shaky smile. 

    “That uh… that make you feel any better?” 

    “Yeah.” She nodded, sucking in trembling breaths. “Yeah, I’m… I’m okay. Thanks.”

    “Yeah,” he returned. “Yeah… of.. of course. If I… if I move, are you gonna…”

    “No.” She immediately fixed her eyes on the floor. “I'm sorry. I… I won’t.”

    “Good. Okay.” He looked at Rolys. “You… you got this?”

    The teacher offered him a small smile. “I got this. If I put you in charge in there, am I gonna regret it?”

    “Nah. I… I’ll get us working on the trial. Just… take care of her.”

    “Thank you, James. I promise I will.”

    And the boy finally released Adira, slipping out from between her and the wall and continuing into the classroom, herding the few students Rolys hadn’t already sent inside along with him.

    “Okay,” Rolys addressed her steadily. “What’s going on?”

    She closed her eyes again, trying to continue to breathe. “My… my parents…” 

    Thinking about it again went a fresh wave of panic over her, and she sucked another breath in, slumping towards the wall despite the promise she’d just made to her friend. Rolys caught her before her head connected with the concrete.

    “Hey, hey. We’re not gonna do that. I’m here, and I’m gonna help you, okay? What about your parents?”

    The more she thought about it, the more she panicked. And as she did, she came to realization that terrified her.

    If she walked out of here by herself, she was going to hurt herself. Bad. Swallow pills maybe. Maybe slice her wrists enough to need stitches. She had a baby, but she’d do it anyway. She couldn’t let herself. Reagan needed her.

    “I… I need to go to Officer Stephens,” she gasped as the world flew straight back to the chaos it’d been in before Jame had talked her down. 

    “Officer Stephens?” She was doing nothing to calm his worry. “Okay. You wanna go now?”

    She nodded desperately, willing herself to shut up even as she began to speak again. “If you let me leave, I’m gonna kill myself.”

    What was she doing? She couldn’t… she wasn’t…

    “I… I’m gonna… and my brother, he... I can’t… you can’t let me leave. Please don’t let me leave.”

    “Hey, listen to me, Adira.” He sounded so heartbroken it killed her. “I’m not gonna let you leave. I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere. Can you walk with me to Officer Stephens’ office?”

    She nodded, straightening with an effort. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

    “You have nothing to apologize for,” he replied gently, beginning to lead her in the direction of the front offices. “I am so proud of you. You are doing exactly what you need to do, alright? I promise we are gonna keep you safe.”

    She didn’t answer, just continuing to cry and focusing on keeping control of her panic. She kept her eyes on the floor so she didn’t have to look at the students they were passing.

    What felt like a mile-long trek later, she was knocking on the frame of the office door with a trembling hand. 

    “Come in,” came the call from inside, and she stumbled through the doorway to see Stephens getting to his feet. “Adira…” His ready smile vanished when he saw the state she was in, hurrying around his desk to look at her. “Hey, what happened? What’s going on?”

    “Handcuff me to the desk,” she choked out, barely aware of what she was saying. “Please… please just… you’ve got to…”

    “Hey, Adira, I need you to breathe for me,” he told her evenly. “I’m not gonna handcuff you to anything. Now can you tell me what’s going on?” 

    “You said to come here if… If I thought I was gonna hurt myself. And I… if you let me leave, I think I’m gonna kill myself. But my brother… I can’t… you can’t let me… please.” She knew she sounded pathetic, she knew she was pleading like a little kid, and she couldn’t stop herself. 

    “Adira, listen to me,” the officer said, carefully laying a hand on her arm. “You are doing exactly what you need to do, okay? I’m not gonna let you hurt yourself, I promise. Can you sit down for me?”

    She stumbled over to a chair and collapsed into it, dropping her head into her hands and rocking back and forth in an attempt to relieve the anxiety still clawing at her mind.

    She heard Stephens ask Rolys to get her counselor, heard Rolys speaking to her. “I’m gonna be right back, okay? I’m just gonna go get Mr. Ellis.”

    The voice sounded to her like it was coming from a different world.

    She heard Stephens sitting down in the chair next to her, felt him leaning in to talk to her. “Alright, Adira. I’m gonna get you calmed down, alright? Everything’s gonna feel a little better once you start breathing again.”

    Incredible how someone had just done that and it had lasted all of thirty seconds.

    “I’m gonna count, I want you to say each number after me. Can you do that?”

    “I think so,” she gasped.

    “Good,” he affirmed. “One.”

    “One.”

    They were coming home. How… how could they be…

    “Two.”

    “Two.” She could barely hear herself.

    “Three.”

    “Three.”

    Had she left out that medicine? Why couldn’t she remember?

    “Good job. Four.”

    “Four.” 

    Why was this so hard?

    “Five.”

    “Five.”

    Her mother hit her. Was she going to do it again?

    “Six.”

    “Six.” That one came out just a little easier.

    “Seven.”

    “Seven.” 

    This couldn’t be happening.

    “We are almost there. Eight.”

    “Eight.”

    “Nine.”

    She opened her eyes and took a shaky breath.

    “Nine.”

    He was nodding encouragement to her. “Ten.”

    “Ten.” 

    “Good job!”

    She couldn’t believe she was being praised for breathing.

    “You feel just a little bit better now?”

    She nodded uncertainly, trying to grasp just how she’d gotten here now that she was seeing and hearing everything a little more clearly. “A little.”

    She heard people enter the room and close the door behind them, but she couldn’t focus on more than one thing at once, so she just kept her eyes locked on Stephens, silently begging him to help her.

    “Alright,” he said steadily. “Now what’s going on?”

    “My parents are coming home.”

    “And that scares you?”

    She knew she shouldn’t, but she nodded. 

    “Why does that scare you?”

    “Because…” She faltered.

    She couldn’t. 

    “Because they hate me. I can’t do anything right. I’m never good enough for them. And I… I’m doing my best with Reagan and everything, but if… if they come home… I just… they’ll never let me rest. They’re gonna… they make me feel like… like absolute… just… horrible.”

    “Okay,” he affirmed. “That makes sense. I’d be scared too. But is that all?”

    She had to say yes.

    She shook her head.

    “No?” He didn’t seem surprised. “What else?”

    She couldn’t.

    “My mom hit me.”

    She did not just…

    “She hit me yesterday. Rolys saw. Or… he saw the bruise. That’s why I ran from him all day yesterday. Cuz she… she… she hit me. I… I can’t believe she hit me.”

    There was utter compassion on Stephens’ face, but once again, he didn’t seem surprised. 

    “Okay. You’re doing so, so good, Adira. Anything else?”

    She shook her head. What did she just do?

    “Alright.” He offered her a small smile. “If you think of anything else, you let me know. Now do you have a plan to hurt yourself?”

    “No… no, I just… I just… think I will.”

    “I hear you,” he affirmed like she wasn’t absolutely insane. “And I’m not gonna let that happen. As long as you are in this office, you are safe. So I’m gonna have you sit right here, and I am gonna chat with some people, and then I’ll be back here to check on you, okay?”

    “I’m sorry,” she sobbed, but he shook his head.

    “Don’t be sorry. This is exactly what I’m here for. I’ll be right back.”

    She heard him talking quietly with Ellis and Rolys behind her. Something about the psychologist being out that day. Something else about calling someone.

    Then, she heard Stepehens step out of the room. Two people sat in the other two chairs on this side of the desk, but her head was back in her hands and she couldn’t find it in herself to look up at them. 

    “Hey, Adira.” That was Ellis’s voice. “We’re gonna get Joel down here, alright?” 

    Of course they were. Why did it always come back to that?

Here's the second one for this week, as promised. I'll drop the other on Monday and then HOPEFULLY get onto a regular Monday update schedule. In the meantime, please please PLEASE let me know what you think. Love ya.

- Line 🖤