Virgil's pov/

I sat in bed.

My head swirling I throw on my jacket. I mess with the stitches picking at them. Tears come to my eyes.

Why am crying. There's absolutely no reason for this.

The room feels so big while I feel like an ant. My breath becomes more rapid as panic. My mind thinks to what I could stop it with.

I watch funny videos and laugh.

I curl up and read a good book.

I play some video games.

Go outside.

Nothing. Nothing helped still there a small slowly filling up tub of water that will drown me in fear.

What usually works? I ask myself.

Cutting, drinking, yelling, crying, burning yourself, smoking-

No I said I would stop so I'm going to stop.

But your still having a panic attack.

It's still there

YOU HAVE TO GET RID OF IT.

My thoughts subside as I walk to my bathroom in a trance. Methodically fiddling with my cleaning supplies. Setting out gauze and toilet paper. Rubbing alcohol and peroxide, matches.

I grab my box. My box with a lock. My locked box with secrets. The box that holds my sharp objects. My razor holder. I unlock it with the code on the side of the little dial.

I pick out a clean one. One that's sharp. Just in case I get a small bit of toilet paper and alcohol rubbing the blade in the damp paper. Then dabbing it on a dry sheet.

Just as I roll up my sleeve there was a knock at the door.

"Verge it's movie night Thomas is watching a Tim burton marathon. Come join us!" Roman yells through the door.

Stay here

Finish the job.

I will look suspicious.

"On my way princey!" I yell. I hear him walk off.

I roll down my sleeve and walk out of my bathroom. Locking the door with a key from the outside I fuck in my pocket I walk out of the room hoping I can put enough of a facade on my face to get me through this panic attack and a movie.

Eh I was bored ~ bandersnatch