Warnings: panic attacks, yelling, crying.... This is basically just me venting sorry (there's fluff at the end tho, cause I'm upset and just wanted a happy end so-). It says no ship but at the end there's platonic LAMP I guess, but it's mostly centered around Patton and Virgil
Sorry if this sucks

He was way too loud.

Virgil's head was already pounding, his head had been hurting all day. He was exhausted, he felt sick, and his own anxiety was already refusing to leave him alone. Not that the last part was unusual, but today felt especially bad. He wanted nothing more than to stay in bed all day, and for a while he did.

Then Patton had popped into his room without warning, startling him and making his anxiety even worse. Patton didn't realize this, of course, because while he was always looking out for Virgil and the others Virgil did his best to hide his feelings. He stayed silent as Patton inspected the room with a frown, turning to look at Virgil.

"You should really consider picking up around here, kiddo!" He said, voice loud and making Virgil wince. Patton had already turned away again by now though, so he didn't see, which Virgil was thankful for. He started to walk around the room, picking some things up for him. Virgil knew he was only trying to be helpful, he knew he only meant well, but Virgil was frustrated and just wanted to be left alone.

He didn't say anything, though, and watched with a frown as Patton continued going around the room. Eventually he stopped and looked over at Virgil again, asking him why he hadn't been out of bed yet. He kept asking questions, and Virgil only got more and more frustrated with each word he uttered. He eventually stopped responding to Patton's questions, and though it took a moment for him to notice this, he did eventually.

"Is something wrong, Virgil?" He asked, and Virgil knew he was concerned and just wanted to be there for him, but this one last question set him off. Virgil drew in a shaky, angry breath, huffing out an unamused laugh.

"Yes, there is something wrong. I feel like complete shit. My head is hurting, I'm so anxious I feel like I might throw up, and being asked a million questions isn't helping." He blurted before he could stop himself, glaring at Patton. Already regret was eating at him, but he was just so frustrated.

Patton's face fell, and he opened and closed his mouth in search of what to say. After a while he closed his mouth, looking at the ground and drawing in a breath. "Is... is there anything I can do to help-"

"Get out." Virgil cut him off, unable to face him. He felt horrible for being the one to put a frown on Patton's face, but he just wanted to be left alone. "Please."

(I'm sorry for adding this in but this is the only thing that's made me smile all night so-

Ahaha sorry)

Virgil still didn't look up even as he heard feet shuffling towards the door, and then heard it quietly close behind Patton. He couldn't breathe, mentally kicking himself for doing something so rude. He was only trying to help, his mind screamed at him. How could you be so rude to someone so nice?

Virgil squeezed his eyes shut, breaths short and frantic. He couldn't take it, he just couldn't handle everything right now, it was all too much, his mind wouldn't stop screaming thoughts, telling him how awful he was, how rude, how Patton was probably mad at him now, how they were all going to hate him and he would be an outcast again and he was stupid, stupid, stupid.

It took a long time before he managed to get his breathing under control, and the thoughts in his head to stop. They were still there, more quiet now, whispering doubts rather than screaming them. If he was tired before he was exhausted now. He just wanted to stay curled in a ball under the covers, to stay and let himself waste away.

He couldn't do that, though. He owed Patton an apology, at the very least. Patton would probably still hate him, and he would probably still become an outcast again but he had to apologize. With a sigh, Virgil very slowly peeled back the blankets on his bed and let his feet hit the cold ground. He took a moment, sitting there and preparing himself. When he realized he had probably already been there too long he finally got out of bed, quietly making his way to the door.

It was quiet in the halls, and he could hear his heart thumping loudly in his chest. At the end of the hall he saw the lights in the living room were on, so he made his way there as slow as he possibly could. When he finally made it to the end he heard the tv playing softly, and they others all talking quietly from the couch. When he shuffled into the room to where they could see him the talking stopped, and they all were facing him.

Heartbeat even louder than before, Virgil pulled his sleeves over his hands and opened his mouth to talk. It took a while for any words to actually leave his lips, but eventually he found his voice and began, stuttering and biting back tears.

"Patton, I'm... really sorry. I sh-shouldn't have... shouldn't have said that, and I-I know you're probably mad at me and," he drew in a deep breath, wiping at his eyes as discreetly as possible. Patton had moved to stand, the other two watching from the couch. "I know you... probably all hate me again, b-but I... I just wanted to apologize, a-and..."

Virgil couldn't stop it as a sob escaped him, knees shaking and threatening to give out on him. He couldn't stop his tears now, and before he knew what was happening arms were thrown around him in a tight hug. He felt a kiss to his forehead, and words being whispered to him.

"Oh, Virgil, I could never hate you," Patton insisted, holding him close and smiling sadly. "I love you so much, kiddo, we all do. Everyone gets a little frustrated sometimes, we don't blame you. I'm sorry, I should've asked before barging in like that. Please forgive me."

"Please," Virgil begged quietly. "Don't be sorry. You were just trying to help... fuck, you guys are always way too fucking nice to me, I.." Another sob escaped him, and he buried his face in Patton's shoulder. "I don't deserve it."

"Language, Virge," Patton scolded with a small smile. "You do deserve it. We love you, and I promise you, that is never going to change."

Virgil glanced up from Patton's shoulder to glance at Roman and Logan, who were both standing now and made their way over to join the hug. They both nodded to let him know that Patton was being honest. They all loved him.

Virgil's legs wobbled again before giving out on him, leaning heavily against the other three and choking out an apology. They insisted it was nothing, helping him over to the couch where they all collapsed, holding each other tightly and muttering quiet comforting words to Virgil, who still couldn't stop shaking. This entire day had been far too draining, and he wanted nothing more than to lie there and fall back asleep.

Luckily, the others seemed to understand this. Without saying a word Roman and Logan got up, Roman moving to turn on Virgil's favorite movie, and Logan going to find blankets for them all. It didn't take them long, and soon they were back, each of them sitting close together under a blanket while the movie played.

No one said anything else, but they didn't really have to. Virgil understood from the way that they each kept glancing at him, all showing that they were there in their own ways. Patton was latched onto his side, hugging him tightly. Roman's hand somehow found its way to his own, holding it and running his thumb comfortingly over the back of it. Logan was less touchy, though he did catch Virgil's eyes at one point. He gave him a look that said everything he wanted Virgil to know, that he was there too and none of them were going anywhere.

It did take a while, but eventually the movie had successfully distracted him, making him feel more calm and safe. He stopped shaking, and though his eyes were still red he had stopped crying a long time ago. He felt safe, wanted, and for the first time that day, he felt happy.

Ahhhhhhhh sorry for venting I'm just, really sad and anxious and feeling terrible today. I dunno where it came from. I felt sorta okay this morning, then I took a nap and when I woke up I just felt... awful.

Then of course, my mom came into my room and I was frustrated and sad and just wanted to be left alone, and I still kinda wanna cry but it's okay bc...... I can just write to ignore all these silly human emotions, yeah?

Hopefully I'm gonna work on some more fluff. So, I'm gonna get off of here for now, need to go take my medicine and all that, and then I'll probably just lay in bed to work some more so I'm not stuck alone with my thoughts. But please don't leave me any requests bc I already have some that need to be finished that I'm kinda putting off cause I'm lazy-I'm sorry.

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed this. *

* Thank you for the suggestion. Take care of yourselves, remember that you're all super important and I love you all. Bye-Bob