This was requested by beheadedxoxo I hope you like it!

Tw: blood, dagger, self harm, self mutilation, hurt, crying, breaking down. Lemme know if i missed any!

Janus sighed as he plopped on his bed. He was trying so hard to make them all happy. He seemed to be on good terms with at least Patton and Logan. Virgil and Roman seemed to tolerate him...but he was sure they were faking it all to make him happy. He wasn't sure why they would, though.

He bit his lip and sat up, going to his dresser. He had an idea of how to make them all happy.

"If...If I could never lie..." Janus mumbled to himself. "Maybe...maybe then they'll trust me..." He picked up his dagger. Remus had gotten him this for Christmas...he missed Remus. But he could see why the others weren't particularly fond of him sometimes. But he really did miss his antics sometimes as well.

He looked the dagger over before holding it up to his face. Janus stuck his tongue out and closed his eyes. He grabbed his tongue and started slicing, barely keeping back screams. His body tried forcing him to stop but he refused.

He finished and pulled his shaking hands away, seeing the blood that they were covered in now. He dropped to his knees on the floor, crying softly. He had blood all around his mouth and he fought passing out.

It felt like there was a fire burning in his mouth as he got up. He wobbled to his bathroom that connected to his room and he washed up, tears streaming down his face. He felt awful, like he could throw up. He barely got the bleeding to stop.

He sighed and decided to try out talking. "Hello," Janus whispered to himself. He cursed himself as more tears fell down and he just broke.

Janus felt like a failure. Hell, he couldn't even cut his own tongue out correctly. He heard Patton calling everyone down for dinner and he shakily got up. He washed his face and stopped crying, going downstairs.

Patton giggled as he set the table, seeing the other four come down. He knew he'd have to take Remus his dinner later. No matter how hard he was trying now, none of the others wanted him down there.

"Heya Jay!" He said as he saw Janus coming down the stairs. Patton frowned as the other said nothing back, but he didn't think much of it, honestly. He was used to that sometimes, honestly. He got everyone sat down to eat and smiled.

Patton noticed that Janus didn't eat much. They all noticed. He didn't talk with the others, either, which was a bit weird. But they all just kinda thought he didn't feel good that night.

After dinner, Patton made them all start watching movies together. He giggled and went to take a picture. "Smile guys!" He said happily.

Without thinking, Janus did as he always had. He stuck his tongue out, or what was left of it at least.

Patton took the picture before pausing and frowning. He went to Janus and tapped his shoulder. "Janus...?" He asked.

"Yeah?" Janus turned around, half covering his mouth with his hand. He saw the picture and panicked. He ran up to his room and locked the door.

Patton bit his lip and showed the others before they all went after Janus and Logan knocked. "Janus?" He asked gently.

"Go away!" Janus yelled. His speech was slightly slurred, and he was crying, everyone could tell from there.

Logan sighed. "If you leave that untreated, it'll get infected. Please allow me to take a look at it."

After a few minutes, Janus opened the door. He had tears streaming down his face as he let the others inside.

They all sat around him as Logan looked him over, checking on his tongue. Logan sighed. "Well...I cannot fix this....but may I ask why you chose to do this, Janus?"

Janus bit his lip. It hurt so much to talk, but he did it anyways. "I-I....if I can't t-talk then I-I can't lie and make you all m-mad..." He whispered quietly, playing with his hands.

Everyone's eyes widened and Patton held onto Janus, giving him a tight hug. "Hey," he whispered. "We're not mad....right guys?"

Logan nodded, as did the other two. Patton smiled gently, wiping Janus's eyes. "See?" He sighed softly. "None of us are mad, Janus. We know that you can't help but lie sometimes. Like how Virgil gets random panic attacks, and Logan doesn't understand things that aren't literal. Ok? I promise, we're not mad."

Janus sniffled and nodded. He held onto Patton tightly and just cried. He was in a lot of pain, but at least now he knew he would be ok with them.

Patton sighed. "I'm sorry we made you feel like you needed to do this..." He whispered gently. "Please, if you feel like you need to again, talk to someone, ok?" When Janus nodded, Patton kissed his head. "It's gonna be ok....I'm so sorry...."