TRIGGER WARNING: one swear? word, blood, tentacles, remus, tentacles, eyeballs. Lemme know!

Happy birthday Patton!!! I love him so much, like honestlyyyyyyy.

I know this is a controversial ship, but it's platonic. And I just like...I tried really hard and really hope you guys like it!

Some of Remus's....ingredients were from my rp with Mercy_Virgo and some were suggestions from lunaeclispe22

Intruality

“Are you sure this is the best present?” Deceit asked Remus. He himself had gotten Patton a sweater, a nice pastel blue one with animal paw prints on it. However, Remus’s idea…

“Why would it not be? Patton loves to bake!” Remus had on his apron, smiling. “Why wouldn’t he like to bake with me, Dede?”

Deceit bit his lip. “Well you don’t use...traditional ingredients, Remus. Just be prepared to make some compromises.”

Remus scoffed lightly. “Oh I know! To quote my brother, ‘Remus, don’t corrupt the puffball.’” He fixed his apron and grabbed some of his personal baking supplies, including some of the ingredients Deceit had mentioned.

“Please leave those here…?” De asked, really not wanting an angry Logan or Virgil on their case. 

“No,” the other said simply. He glanced at the time before sinking out and popping up in the Light Sides’ kitchen. He saw Patton already there, alone, but the moral side had known he was coming.

Patton looked over, smiling happily. “Heya, kiddo! Ready to bake?” He had on a new blue and purple apron Virgil had gotten him for his birthday. They’d all done a celebration earlier in the day, but Remus had wanted baking to be just them, as his present to Patton.

Ok that sounds self-centered. The situation wasn’t, though. Patton had been wanting to try and bond with the others, wanting them all to be one big family. Deceit already had, the two’s shared fatherly nature over Virgil.

Remus, however, didn’t have anything in common with Patton...except baking. And let’s just say, they have very different ways of doing even that.

The dark trait nodded, smiling. “Hell yeah!” Remus walked over, setting his stuff on the counter. 

“Language,” Patton, mumbled, and Remus hummed in response. He wanted to get along with Patton, so he’d abide by that...for today. Patton watched Remus line his stuff up on the counter and frowned. “What’s that?”

Remus looked back, smiling. “Some ingredients I use, they taste amazing, I promise.” He moved, showing Patton each and every one. “ There’s tentacle pieces, eyeballs, unicorn horn dust, dragon tail bits, rat blood…” he looked over all of them. “Oh and rainbow sprinkles, obviously!”

Patton hummed warily and nodded. “O...kay?” he mumbled, shaking his head. “Well...in that case maybe we can make two cakes and two batches of cookies? One with and one without?” He wasn’t about to discourage the other, everyone had creative merit...it just didn’t sound...appealing to him.

The other nodded. “Well yeah! I kinda figured you’d say that,” Remus chuckled. “Will you at least try mine when it’s ready?” His baked goods were honestly amazing, even De would eat them, which was surprising. He’s quite picky.

The father figure felt his stomach lurch at the thought but nodded, forcing a smile. “Sure, kiddo! I don’t see why not.”

So they got to work. Patton made a basic chocolate cake, humming to a Lion King song. He got lost in baking he hadn’t even noticed Remus humming along. Patton smiled, and he wiped his hands off before he pulled out his phone and put on Disney music.

Remus looked back, chuckling. “Nice choice,” he said as Shiny from Moana started playing. He started singing Tomaota’s part, dancing around.

He had Patton cracking up, especially when it got to the sea food part. At that, Remus grabbed some of the tentacles and tossed them into his mouth, making Patton laugh even harder.

This type of stuff went on for a while. They just baked and laughed, finishing the cakes and starting on homemade icing. Remus was making green, and Patton blue.Remus ended up with the brilliant idea of making Patton turn around. Once he did, Remus smeared icing on his nose.

Patton’s eyes widened as Remus cracked up. He tasted the icing, looking confused. “What’d you put in this?”

Remus shrugged. “Unicorn horn dust, rat’s blood, milk, sugar...all things I normally use. Why?” He looked a bit worried now. “Do you not like it?”

Morality instantly shook his head, giggling. “No, actually, it’s amazing! It tastes like magic!”

The other grinned, but as he did, Patton smeared leftover cake batter all over Remus’s face. “Haha! Gotcha!”

Remus blinked before smirking. He casually grabbed a handful of flour, throwing it at Patton and making him squeal, laughing.

The others all ran out, Logan wide eyed and ready to go off on Remus. Roman stopped them, though, when they all saw the two traits messing around, smiling and laughing. He pushed them back, deciding to let them be.

Remus and Patton laughed and messed around, chasing one another until their cakes finished. They laughed, pulling them out and letting them cool in the freezer while they just talked about random things. From growing up, to talking with VIrgil, to hanging with the others.

They didn’t notice that hours had passed, time to decorate their cakes. Patton, of course, made small paw prints on his. Remus, though, put tentacles on his. What surprised Patton the most, though, was the cursive handwriting that said “Happy Birthday, Dad!”

His eyes widened and he smiled, hugging Remus tightly. They called the others out and Patton kept his promise, eating a piece of Remus’s cake. And let’s just say, he’s definitely using Remus's recipes again soon.