"I'm right!"

"No I am!"

"You're stupid and I'm right!"

"You're stupid times two!"

"You're stupid times three!"

"You're stupid times ten!"

"Now you're cheating and you're stupid times fifty!"

Patton watched this interesting squabble break out over the rim of his mug. It was amusing to see the Winston twins, both of whom were dressed like the colouring pencils that littered the nursery, squabble as if they were thirty and having a mid-life crisis instead of just three.

"If I was aware watching children argue was a spectator sport, I would've made popcorn." A calm voice from behind Patton said, still making Patton jump. He laughed slightly.

"It's not Logie, it's just funny to watch occasionally." Patton said, grinning at his husband. Logan gave him a small smile in return. Patton and Logan had been married for five years and had been the proud owners of 'Safe Space Nursery' for three.

"Well, while it is amusing to watch sometimes, I would suggest maybe going over and breaking the fight up before one of them uses the insult 'you are stupid times infinity'." Patton laughed and put his cup down on the table, supposing Logan was right.

"Hey, hey, hey, now what's all this about?" Patton asked, intervening between the two toddlers who were currently in the middle of a fierce someone-sticks-their-tongue-out-while-the-other-person-ignores-them battle. Roman, dressed in several shades of red from his little cap to his tiny trainers, looked at Patton, his back turned resolutely to his twin. He resumed staring at the wall when he spoke.

"Mr. Patton, please tell Re that a Billabong is a long instrument that you blow into with a big end like a saxophone and that it has holes all the way down both its sides."

Patton heard a snicker from where he was sure Logan was standing. Remus, who looked like he was dressed to try and win a Christmas-tree-look-a-like contest, stamped his foot.

"Mr. Patton," he whined, "a Billabong is a crocodile creature with a unicorn horn. Everyone knows that!"

"No, that's a Flipadosh, idiot!" Roman said, turning around and glaring at his twin who gasped.

"Take that back!" Remus insisted. Roman shook his head. "Take that back or I'm telling mum!"

"Hey, hey, hey, no one is telling anyone's mum." Patton said sternly. Both toddlers looked up at him. "Now, I will get Logan and he will tell us what a Billabong really is and you two will hug it out, okay?" Both twins grumbled but said a dutiful 'okay', the last syllable dragged out for as long as possible. Patton nodded. "Okay." He went over to Logan. "Logie, we're in need of some word assistance."

"I gathered." Logan said, smiling gently. "Very well." He followed Patton over to the twins who were now glaring at each other, their arms firmly crossed in front of their chests.

"So, what's all this about?" Logan asked, crouching down to the Winston twin's level. Roman pointed an accusing finger at Remus.

"He says a Billabong isn't an instrument when it is!" He says.

"Nu-uh, a Billabong is a creature!"

"Instrument!"

"Animal!"

"Instrument!"

"Animal!"

"Instrument!"

"Actually," Logan said, cutting across the yells of the two boys, "a Billabong is a small pond or lake found in Australia."

Both twins looked at Logan, wonder and confusion mingled in their faces. Patton had to bite back a laugh.

"It is?" They said in unison. Logan nodded, standing up.

"There, what did I tell you?" Patton said, smiling. "Logan sorted it out, didn't he? Now what do we say?"

"Thank you Mr. Logan." Both of the twins grumbled. Logan smiled.

"Not a problem."

"And what do we do?" Patton asked. The twins looked at each other before giving each other a tentative hug. "There. That wasn't so difficult now, was it?"

"Can we go play now, Mr. Patton?" Remus asked.

"Sure Kiddo."

Remus and Roman ran off towards the playhouse will yells of 'yay!'

Fun fact, I thought a Billabong was what Roman said it was until today, when I learnt what the word was. That made no sense... um... I thought a Billabong was a musical instrument until my dad told me what it was. Just thought I'd write a little one shot about it just because.
Bye,
Queenie