This one is sad, so... Tw: suicide, more suicide, death, and such...

Logan stared at the bottle in his hands.

He wished it would end.

Remembering.

He wished he could forget.

He wished we was as emotionless as everyone thought he was.

More than anything, he wished it had never happened.

He remembered everything too clearly.

He'd come home from work, just to see the bathroom cabinets open.

There was nothing out of place, no sounds or anything.

They were just open.

He remembered looking for Patton.

He couldn't find him, so he figured he was at the park or something.

He texted him and was surprised to hear Patton's phone chime.

He called it, and the sound appeared to be coming from the closet.

He opened it, 

and saw.

Him.

Hanging from a rope.

He screamed, and the tears just wouldn't come.

He was numb, and couldn't believe it.

Until he saw the note.

It was under the body.

He picked it up and wiped his eyes, still no tears.

Logan.

I'm sorry.

There's no way to explain this in a way that won't hurt you. 

I just couldn't live like this.

I'm so tired.

Tired of living the same pattern.

It just repeats every day, wake up, eat, say goodbye, go to work, be so sad, and have no one to talk to.
You tried. I know you did.

But I hurt you.

My pain hurt you, and now it cannot.

For I am gone, and you can finally be the person you were meant to be.

My walls were too great. They kept you out and kept you safe.

They hurt me, but they'll never hurt you.

I love you, but you cannot love someone if you do not love yourself. That's what everyone says. So I must have not loved you. And you'll never have to live with my lies again.

I wanted to be a better person, and I tried so hard.

But it's never easy.

When I was a kid, my parents never understood.

They'd ask "Why are you wasting our time? Why can't you just do it? Why can't you just get over yourself?"

But they never knew just how hard it was.

You can't just run away from yourself.

You are stuck as the person you were born, and the person I am is worse than I have let anyone see.

It's broken.

I'm broken, and I hurt you.

So I'm leaving, and I'm going somewhere you can't.

I hid from you, and you were never the same. I refuse to damage you.

The person I am is someone I will never be happy being, no matter how much I pretend.

I am a liar, I am rude, I am mean.

And I will no longer lie to you, be mean to you, or hurt you.

So here is my truth:

I was sad.

I was broken.

I was a mess.

I hid the worst parts of me because I couldn't stand to lose everyone I love.

I buried them deep, but they never went away.

They're still here.

I know it'll hurt you to find me dead.

And I'm being selfish.

Because the pain, living in pain, was too much for me.

I couldn't handle it.

I'm not going to pretend I am doing this for a heroic reason.

Because it is merely self-protection.

I just don't see the point in living anymore.

I'm so sorry,

Patton.

Logan carefully lowered Patton's body to the ground.

It was warm.

If he'd been any sooner...

but he was too late.

He held the body in his arms, and finally, the tears came.

He was screaming in his head but made no sound.

The truth was, Logan loved Patton.

He knew that what Patton saw was only in his head, and he wasn't ok. He knew that Patton was truly better than he thought he was.

Maybe he wasn't perfect, but he was perfect for Logan.

And maybe if he'd seen that, he'd still be alive.

If only Logan had told him.

But it was too late.

If Logan had managed to tell him how much he meant, if he could have just shown him what he truly was, if he had just held him, and let him talk...

But it was too late.

After that, Logan moved in a daze.

The world blurred, and he could only think about Patton.

He wasn't sure what had happened to them, he didn't know where the body was, if there was a funeral, he didn't know where he was.

Maybe everything had died.

But maybe the world just continued.

That was so wrong.

The one person Logan had ever loved, the only reason for his anything was gone, and the world just continued.

Logan's world was over, but the outside one just continued.

He had no idea how much time had passed. He was mentally asleep, and just moved through the motions.

It hurt him too much to get out of the daze, so he continued not-quite living in it.

and it was finally over.

He looked at the bottle in his hands.

Patton wouldn't have wanted this, but he was gone.

And he was never coming back.

Logan had loved him, and he was no longer there.

Maybe Patton wouldn't have left.

If only he could have seen the impact.

Well, if there was an afterlife, maybe Logan would get to see him again.

But Logan didn't think there was.

But this whole world could have been a fabrication.

It didn't matter anymore.

His world had narrowed, and he was doing the only thing left.

So he swallowed the pills and waited.

Patton never had to deal with the wait.

And then the pain.

His guts burned, his throat ached, and he felt like he was... dying.

Which he was.

It made an awful sense.

A species wouldn't want to die out, so it would making dying painful, so they wouldn't want to do it.

But then why would they make their brains so smart, able to want to die?

A species will survive, and it only makes sense for things that harm the species to hurt.

So why was the species capable of mental pain to the point of wanting death?

Logan would never know.

Because the world was fading, and he was dying.

And he was gone.

It was too late for him.