Janus looked out his window. It was almost trash time. Trash time is undoubtedly the best time of the day.

It's when Janus gets to see him.

The most beautiful person.

The Trashman.

Every Thursday, at varying times of day, the Trash collecter would show up.

Janus had this day off work. This is the day he sits around in front of the window and awaits his hero.

He only got to see him once a week. He didn't know his name, and he hated being a creeper, but he couldn't go out there and show his face. His face was deformed, a serious mess.

He was burned as a kid, and half of his face is a mess of irregular bumps and scars. He can dream all he wants, but the trashman would never be his.

The trashman was the hottest man, and he was the ugliest. Simple statistics.

The trash came around. Janus almost fell out of his chair. He saw the man get out of his seat and run over to his neighbor's yard, hoisting the trashcan, to dump it.

Those arms were so strong. They could hold Janus and never let go.

The green and black suit looked good on him, and his mustache was yummy. (me attempting to not throw up as I write this)

The streak of gray in his hair looked like a 'Lil snake, Janus's favorite. He was a reptile keeper at a nearby zoo. The snakes never judged him by his appearance. They were never mean. They were Janus's best friends.

He was a Slytherin. 

The trashman was done in his neighbor's yard. The car pulled towards his house.

The trash man got out. Janus couldn't help staring. He was perfect.

The trash man collected his trash and gave his windows a glance. He was surprised to see Janus. Janus ducked down, but not until after the trashman got enough of a look at him to think 'He's cute.'

Janus sighed when he left. Close call.

He went on with his day. Till next week.

Remus pulled into the center. Another boring day.

He took a shower, changing into his usual outfit.

That one guy was pretty cute. Something was going on with half his face, but it made him interesting. And Remus liked interesting.

The next week, Janus was at his usual spot, waiting for his crush.

The car came around, and he got out. This time, he was wearing a tiara. He collected the neighbor's trash, before moving to Janus's. God, that tiara was hot.

When he finished collecting trash, he looked at Janus and winked.

What?

Gay Panic time.

Remus smiled, taking off the tiara. It was worth it to see the look on his face.

The next week, Janus was waiting, as usual, but this time, but on a rainbow hat, that practically shouted 'I'm gay!'

Remus came around again, this time with makeup on.

He sent Janus a flirty wink.

The next week, Janus left a picture of himself on his trashcan, with "I'm ugly. Stop flirting." written on it.

Remus crossed out "I'm ugly", and put "Never" under "Stop flirting."

He sent Janus another wink.

The next week, Remus left a message.

"Will U give me your phone number?"

Janus died in gay.

The next week, Janus left his number.

The next week, they were dating.

The next year, they were married. 

With a pet snake.