Alright, this was inspired by a few comments from ElizabethHoffman0 on my book Hanahaki. LamsAndPrinxiety was also interested in it, so I'm doing it for them! Plus the comment was truly hilarious.

TW: Some swearing, but, other than that, ABSOLUTELY NONE BECAUSE THIS IS JUST PURE FUN

Third Person POV:

Sometimes being able to hear the lies that everyone tells is a blessing. Other times it's the worst possible curse.

Today, it had been a curse.

All day, Roman had been, well... Roman, and he refused to stop talking for more than five minutes. And it was all sarcasm. Meaning that Deceit heard all of it.

And it didn't make for a fun time.

By the time it got to be 6 pm, Deceit had a horrific migraine, although it felt more like a brain freeze. It was so bad, in fact, that he had resorted to the method of coping that he saved only for emergencies.

When he felt the brain freeze approaching, which was around 5 pm, he had opened the small freezer hidden in his closet and pulled out a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Grabbing a scoop from a bin beside the freezer, Deceit walked to the middle of his room, laid down on the floor, and waited for the inevitable.

~~~

Just after dinner, Logan was heading back to his room, rather annoyed at Roman for feeling the need to be overly dramatic and sarcastic that day.

As he was about to walk into his room, Logan heard a loud hiss from farther down the hall. Intrigued, Logan continued farther down the hall, pausing every few seconds to listen for another hiss. It seemed to be that the hiss was never-ending.

Logan quirked an eyebrow when the hiss led to him standing outside of Deceit's door, although it made sense that it would come from the snake-like trait's room.

He figured that any attempts at knocking would not be heard over the unceasing hissing, so Logan wasted no time in turning the doorknob and swinging the door open. Logan couldn't see Deceit at first, and he took a few steps in, only stopping when he heard Deceit, from his unknown position on the floor, say, "Don't."

Freezing, Logan hesitantly looked down at the floor and saw that his foot was hovering inches about Deceit's leg. Following Deceit's leg with his eyes, Logan first saw the lid to the tub of ice cream, then the scoop in the half-full carton of ice cream, and, finally, Deceit's head, which was covered in at least 6 perfect scoops of ice cream.

"Umm..." Logan started, unsure of what he was witnessing. "Are you... okay, Deceit?"

"Does it fucking look like I'm okay?" Deceit cried before letting out another hiss and withering around on the floor, making him look even more like a snake. Well, minus the fact that a snake doesn't typically have ice cream on its face.

"Uhh..." Logan stuttered, at a lack of words. "No?? What is the problem?"

Deceit sighed from his place on the floor. "Roman's being an egotistic prick and hasn't stopped being sarcastic all day. And, because I'm the embodiment of lying, I hear literally every lie he says, and it's giving me the worst migraine."

While he was talking, one of the scoops of ice cream started to slide down his forehead, and Deceit didn't hesitate to reach a hand up to put it back in place.

"But why the ice cream?" Logan asked, his voice rising in pitch and sounding panicked.

"Because it helps, okay?!?" Deceit snapped, sick of having to talk.

Deceit was aware of the fact that he probably looked like a complete idiot in front of Logan, but, hey, the ice cream was helping the migraine. At least, it was, until Roman decided to start telling a fabricated story about a mission to the Imagination that made the migraine 100 times worse.

"God fucking damnit, Roman," Deceit hissed, reaching a hand out to grab the ice cream container and scoop.

"W-what are you doing?!?!?!?!" Logan practically shouted, sounding like he was on the brink of a mental breakdown.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Deceit snapped back, scooping out the rest of the ice cream and placing it on top of the existing scoops. "I'm trying not to die from Roman's unadulterated idiocy."

It was silent for a few seconds as Logan tried to comprehend what he was seeing. Unfortunately, it was just a little too much for his logical mind to understand, and he did the first thing he could think of.

He started screaming.

Meanwhile, Deceit continued to wither and hiss on the floor, wishing that he wasn't incapacitated so that he could shut Roman's ever-flapping gob-talker. Especially when Roman moved on to talk about the time he met a Disney star in the Imagination.

A/N:

Holy crap, that was so fun to write. 

Oh, also, here's the comments that started this one shot!

So yeah!!! 

If you have any requests, feel free to send them to me, either in the comments or through PMs!!!

Until next time,

Take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals!!

~death_by_fanfic