We love some soul-crushing angst. Just a head's up, I would STRONGLY advise having (many) tissues nearby.

TW: Cancer, character death, tears

The two of them had known that this day would come. They knew as soon as they heard the doctor speak those dreaded words.

"It's cancer."

They had known, but they refused to let it stop them from enjoying every minute in each other's company. Each day they took a walk, hand-in-hand, around the block to feel the sun, the breeze, the dogs they passed along the way. The walks were always at a leisurely pace, as neither of them felt a rush to be anywhere else except with the man they loved. 

Although, one day, the walks stopped. No more were they walking the block because they could. Instead, Virgil would roll Roman's wheelchair out so that they could sit on the porch. Even then, they were not out long, as it was soon time for Roman to take the next round of medicines that were supposed to help him live longer.

In hindsight, they had helped him live longer. When the doctors first found the tumor in Roman's spine, they had not expected him to live any more than 3 to 4 months. It wasn't until 6 months had passed that the inevitable arrived. 

The medicine had stopped working and the tumors had spread. 

When Roman had first seen the scan, he had compared it to a Christmas tree, although his husband wasn't too happy about that.

"Oh my god," Virgil had sighed, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Now is not the time to be making The Fault In Our Stars references!"

"I know," Roman had whispered, tears also rolling down his cheeks. "But I don't know how else to process it."

Virgil had simply nodded, bringing the back of the hand he had been holding to his lips. 

The next few weeks had brought many a teary eye, although Roman had managed to sneak in at least one snarky comment each day that managed to bring a smile to each of their faces. The husbands had decided that they would spend every possible second together, to try and make up for the future that would not be. 

The number of Disney movies they had watched was unthinkable--at least 6 each day--but Roman and Virgil loved every second of them. They often had Patton and Logan over so that they could spend time together, reminiscing about when they were first crushing on the other in high school. Many times, the reminiscing led to all of them in tears, even Logan, who had so fervently denied the existence of his emotions. 

When Roman had to be admitted to the hospital because of trouble breathing, they both knew that he wouldn't be leaving. At least, not alive. The doctor only confirmed it when they were told that the tumors had spread to Roman's heart and lungs.

~~~

Virgil woke up the next morning and immediately glanced at the monitor attached to Roman. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw--and heard--Roman's heartbeat. 

Glancing at the bed, he saw his husband, still asleep. His skin was pale, and faint purple bags were starting to appear under his eyes. An IV was attached to the back of his hand, keeping him from becoming dehydrated. The soft light brown hair that he had loved to run his fingers through had fallen out months ago, a few weeks after he had started chemo, and was now replaced by a maroon knit hat that Patton had bought him.

His train of thought was interrupted by a voice saying his name.

"Vir-gil..."

He glanced up and saw that Roman was now awake, but his eyes were wide with panic.

"W-what is it, love," Virgil asked, rushing to his side and grasping his hand. "I-is something wrong? Sh-should I get a nurse?"

"C-can't... breathe..." Roman gasped out, squeezing Virgil's hand in a death-grip.

"Ok, ok, uhh... just try and stay as calm as you can," Virgil said while he pressed the button for a nurse, not knowing what to say. "I just called for a nurse."

Roman simply nodded, struggling for breath. With what little strength he had, he tugged Virgil into a gentle kiss. The kiss was short, but it conveyed the emotions that they could not say. When they pulled away, Virgil stayed close, resting his head on Roman's shoulder. 

Their moment was interrupted by a nurse rushing into the room. She looked at the monitor before rushing over and listening to Roman's breathing through a stethoscope. When she had finished, she sighed and looked at Virgil. He instantly knew what she wasn't saying.

Today was the day.

When he realized that, tears immediately appeared in Virgil's eyes. He choked back his sobs, not wanting to break in front of Roman. The nurse gave him a small smile before she took a seat in a chair next to the machines. 

Roman tightening his grip on his hand brought him back to the present, and he turned his teary gaze to Roman.

"Don't cry, my knight," Roman comforted, reaching up to cup Virgil's cheek. With his thumb, he gently wiped away the tears that had started to escape his husband's eyes. "You... are stronger... than you think..."

"But-" Virgil choked out, only to be hushed by Roman placing his thumb on his lips.

"I know..." Roman sighed. "But... you'll have... Lo and Pat..."

Virgil nodded, tears blurring his vision. "Do you want me to call them?"

Roman was silent for a few seconds before he nodded. "Short... call..."

Fumbling, Virgil pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Patton's cell, knowing that the two would be together since it was still rather early.

After a few rings, Patton picked up. "Hello?"

"Hi, Pat," Virgil said, putting the phone on speaker. "Is Lo there?"

There was static from the other end before he heard Logan. 

"Is everything all right?" Logan questioned.

"Um..." Virgil murmured, glancing at Roman. He nodded, letting him know that he could tell them. "Roman's only got a little bit left and he wanted to talk to you."

"Oh, Roman..." Patton cried. Just from his voice, they could tell he was crying.

"Don't cry, Pat..." Roman gasped, tears in his eyes. "You're... making me... cry, too..."

Virgil sat there listening to the three of them talking, silent sobs shaking his body. While he was talking to Patton and Logan, Roman had managed to get Virgil lying in the bed next to him. Roman had an arm wrapped around Virgil while Virgil rested one arm across Roman's stomach, sobbing into his chest.

After a few minutes, Patton and Logan decided to leave the two of them alone. Before they could hang up, Roman said one last thing to them. 

"Love you... two," he gasped, tears in his eyes.

"Oh, Ro," Patton cried. "I love you, too, kiddo."

"I reciprocate your feelings of love, Roman," Logan said. To a stranger, Logan's voice would have sounded void of emotion, but Roman and Virgil could hear the waver in his words.

"Goodbye," Roman croaked out, hanging up after the two of them echoed "goodbye."

Once the call was ended, Virgil took his phone and turned it off. He was about to put it in his pocket when Roman grabbed it from his hands. Pulling up the camera, Roman turned it to the two of them. With his other hand, he turned Virgil's face to him. Lowering his lips to Virgil's, he took a picture, wanting to make sure that Virgil had plenty of things to remember him by.

Roman suddenly remembered the nurse sitting in the corner and turned to her. 

"Nurse?" he asked, and she was immediately by his side.

"Yes, Roman?" she asked gently.

"Could you... video us?"

"Of course, dear," she said, her voice heavy as she took Virgil's phone from Roman's outstretched hand. 

After a few seconds of semi-silence, Roman's breathing became even more labored. As soon as he noticed, Virgil moved so that he was sitting on the side of the bed and not lying against Roman. 

When he felt Virgil move, Roman immediately searched for his hand, squeezing it tightly when he found it. 

"Don't... leave me," Roman whimpered, pulling Virgil closer.

"I won't leave, Ro," Virgil whispered more tears forming in his eyes, leaning forward and pressing his lips Roman's forehead. "I'll be right here the whole time."

After a few seconds, Virgil buried his face in the crook of Roman's neck, breathing in his scent for the last time. Roman placed a weak hand on the back of Virgil's head, playing with his hair. 

"Te amaré siempre, Virgil," Roman whispered to Virgil.

At that, Virgil chuckled and moved back slightly. "I love you, too, Roman, you stupidly romantic prince."

"I may... be a... prince," Roman said between shallow breaths. "But you... were always... my knight."

He brought Virgil in for one last kiss, and Virgil could tell that time was quickly running out.

"Stay... strong..." Roman said, squeezing Virgil's hand. His eyes slipped shut for a few seconds as he struggled to breathe before he opened them again. 

Seeing Roman like this, Virgil felt so helpless and started to cry again. 

"Is there anything I can do, Roman?" He asked, wanting to do something to make this easier.

"Sing?" Roman asked in a barely audible whisper.

"Of course," Virgil said. "What song?"

"You'll... be in... my... heart..." Roman gasped, and Virgil almost started sobbing. That song had always made the two of them cry when they watched Tarzan, and they had spent many an evening slow-dancing to it.

After wiping a few tears away, Virgil cleared his throat and started to sing.

"Come stop your crying
It will be alright
Just take my hand
And hold it tight"

As soon as Virgil had started singing, Roman had brought Virgil's hand to his lips, whispering the words against it.

"I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry"

Virgil cupped Roman's face with his other hand, wiping away the tears that had started to fall from his beautiful brown eyes. 

"For one so small,
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

"'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart
Always"

Virgil saw a small smirk appear on Roman's face, and he instantly knew what was coming. 

"Always," Roman whispered.

"Oh my god," Virgil sighed, shaking his head. "What is it with you and The Fault In Our Stars references?"

Roman simply shrugged, and Virgil continued the song.

"Why can't they understand the way we feel
They just don't trust what they can't explain
I know we're different, but deep inside us
We're not that different at all

"And you'll be in my heart
Yes you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more"

When Virgil started to sing the next part of the song, tears streamed from his eyes as memories swamped him. Roman would always pause their dancing and sing the lyrics as if he had written them for Virgil.

Despite being in the condition he was in, Roman still tried to sing with Virgil. This only made Virgil cry harder, knowing that Roman was remembering those nights, too.

"Don't listen to them
'Cause what they don't know
We need each other, to have, to hold
They'll see in time, I know"

Virgil's voice broke when he thought of the next lyrics, but Roman continued to sing to the best of his ability.

"When destiny calls you, you must be strong
I may not be with you
But you got to hold on
They'll see in time, I know
We'll show them together"

By the time Roman had finished singing that verse, he was completely winded, but he squeezed Virgil's hand, letting him know to keep singing. 

And Virgil did, but it was barely more than a whisper. A whisper that he knew Roman could hear.

"'Cause you'll be in my heart
Believe me you'll be in my heart
I'll be there from this day on
Now and forever more

"You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart
Always."

Virgil had to pause to take a deep breath, trying not to sob when he saw that Roman's eyes had slipped shut, and the grip of the hand holding his had loosened slightly. 

The only thing keeping him from breaking was the faint feeling of Roman's shallow breath on the back of his hand and the slow beating of the heart monitor. 

Leaning in closer, Virgil pressed his forehead to Roman's, singing the end so that only he could hear. 

"Always I'll be with you
I'll be there for you always
Always and always"

Tears started to pour from Virgil's eyes when he realized that he no longer felt Roman's breath on his hand. Virgil could faintly hear the heart monitor beep, but he knew that it wouldn't be long before it became one long tone. Not knowing if Roman could still hear him, he finished the song.

"Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
I'll be there
Always"

As he sang the last word, Virgil heard the heart monitor flatline. Hearing that noise broke something in him, and he instantly started sobbing, burying his face in his late-husband's chest. He didn't care that he was loud or that other people might hear him. He didn't care about any of that.

All that he had cared about was lying dead in front of him, and he felt as if his world had just turned to ash and blown away.

After a few minutes, a few more nurses entered the room, but they all made sure not to bother Virgil as they removed the IV and various wires and machines from Roman. The nurses left the room without a word, each with tears in their eyes as they thought about the heartbroken man.

~~~

Each hour for the next three hours, the nurse from that morning walked into the room carrying a glass of water. And, each hour, she contemplated whether or not she should try and get Virgil to drink something. But, each hour, she sighed and turned back out the door, not having the heart to interrupt the poor boy's grieving.

The fourth time she came, she saw that Virgil was asleep, head resting on Roman's chest and arms wrapped around his torso. With a sigh, she walked in and sat down on the side of the bed Virgil was on, placing the glass on the bedside table.

Placing a gentle hand on Virgil's shoulder, she gently rubbed his back to try and wake him.
As Virgil stirred, he grumbled and started to fall back asleep.

"Dear, you need to wake up and take care of yourself," the nurse whispered softly.

When she spoke, Virgil's eyes shot open, and he immediately turned to look at her, eyes wide. A second after he saw her, Virgil's eyes filled with tears as he looked back at Roman, placing a hand on his arm.

"I thought you were him," he whispered, voice thick with tears.

The nurse didn't say anything, simply placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Virgil flinched slightly and turned to face her, surprised by the contact. The first thing she noticed was the fresh tears in his eyes. 

"Oh, sweetie," she sighed, pulling Virgil in for a hug. 

Virgil instantly latched onto her, hiding his face in her shoulder. He let the tears flow, feeling safer with someone hugging him. 

"I-it... i-it h-hurts... s-so b-bad," Virgil sobbed, clinging to the nurse.

"I know," the nurse whispered, rubbing Virgil's back. "And it'll hurt for a long time, but you can't let that stop you from moving forward."

"But-" Virgil tried to argue, but he was interrupted by another sob.

"Shhh," the nurse hushed. "Remember what he told you. 'You are stronger than you think.' And you are. You will get through this. I know it may not feel like it now, but you will be able to be happy again. It might be a month, it might be 5 years, but you will be able to be happy. And never forget the lyrics of that song. 'You'll be in my heart, from this day on, now and forever more.'"

When the nurse finished speaking, Virgil simply nodded, and they sat in silence. Virgil's sobs soon turned into silent tears, which eventually turned into hiccups and uneven breathing.

When Virgil had stopped crying, he pulled back from the hug. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I know your name," he said sheepishly, fiddling with his wedding band. 

"My name is Dot, dear," she whispered, rubbing his arm. "I brought you some water."

"Oh," Virgil mumbled, taking the cup that she now held out to him. "Thank you, Dot."

"You are very welcome, dear," she said. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Um..." Virgil tried to think of anything that he might need. "Do you know where my phone is?"

A look of realization crossed Dot's face. "Oh! I put it in my pocket after I finished recording. Here you go."

With that, she handed Virgil his phone, which was open to the recording she had taken earlier that day. 

"Thanks, by the way, for recording that," Virgil whispered, tears threatening to blur his vision.

"It was the least I could do, sugar," Dot replied, placing a hand on Virgil's knee. "The two of you were so beautiful. I could tell how much he means to you and how much you meant to him."

Virgil didn't say anything, simply nodding while he tried not to cry again.

After a few seconds, she stood up. "Press the button if you need anything else. I'll make sure no other doctors or nurses bother you until you're ready, does that sound good?"

"Mhm," Virgil nodded, not confident in his ability to speak without bursting into tears. "I think I'm just gonna... stay for a little bit longer... before I have some friends get me."

"Of course, hon," Dot said, sending him a small smile. "Take as long as you need."

With that, she left, leaving Virgil alone for what felt like the first time in over 15 years. 

After a few minutes of sitting on the bed and looking out the window to the brightly light world, Virgil pulled out his phone and sent a text to Patton.

Could you pick me up? I don't wanna drive.

Not even 10 seconds later, his phone pinged with the response.

Of course. Be there in 15.

15 minutes. 15 minutes before he had to say goodbye until the visitation. 

For the first 10 minutes, Virgil sat on the bed, one of Roman's cold, limp hands in his while he traced the patterns of the veins. When he looked at the clock and saw that those 10 minutes had passed, he sighed, knowing that he had to gather his things. 

With tears in his eyes, Virgil silently slipped Roman's wedding band off his finger, placing it on a chain that he planned to wear around his neck. Next, he removed the hat from Roman's head, running a hand over the smooth skin of his scalp and placing one last tender kiss to his forehead.

Then he went around the room, gathering the various blankets and sweatshirts that had been accumulated during their stay. Finally, he took Roman's phone from where it sat on the bedside table. 

Taking one last deep breath, Virgil walked to the door of the hospital room, stopping just before he left. He turned around and took in the sight of Roman one last time. He looked to be sleeping; eyes closed and hands resting peacefully in his lap, and Virgil half expected him to wake up and start singing Disney.

But he knew better than that.

With one hand on the doorknob, Virgil dared to whisper one last goodbye. 

"I will love you forever and always, my Prince," he whispered, tears forming in his eyes. "And you will always be in my heart."

Before he could do anything else to make leaving harder, Virgil turned the doorknob and walked down the hallway.

Virgil had known that this day would come. He had known as soon as the doctor had said the diagnosis oh so many months ago. But knowing it was going to happen didn't make it any easier to let go.

A/N:

I'm sorry if this A/N is horrible. I can't really see my screen through the tears in my eyes.

OK, but, like, this destroyed my heart while I was writing it. Heck, it destroyed my heart before I even started writing it. 

Comment HERE if it destroyed yours too!! -->

So, you might be wondering what prompted me to write this heart-crushing story. 

Here's the backstory:

Tuesday night, at, like, 10:45 pm, I was really frustrated with my homework and needed to write something really angsty. The first thing I thought of was "Don't Leave Me" as a title. The only thing I knew besides that was that it was gonna be Prinxiety.

And then I figured out where the story was gonna go and I started to cry.

I didn't even think of "In My Heart" until yesterday afternoon in the middle of class when I came up with the idea of Virgil singing.

Also, I started to cry as soon as I started writing the scene where Virgil was singing, and I kept crying while I wrote the entirety of the ending. 

The one line that made me start sobbing was "I will love you forever and always, my Prince... And you will always be in my heart."

Anyways, hope you're faring better than me.

Until next time,

Take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals.

~death_by_fanfic