Remus: [kicks open the front door] WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?!

Deceit, from the couch: Why do you have my phone-

Remus, flipping him off: FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY-

~~~

Roman: Remus...

Remus: Roman...

Roman: Why do we bother to say?

Remus: Why are we running away?

Roman: Don't you feel like severing?

Remus: Everything's just come together at last!

Roman: It's broken, I don't want to play...

-

Roman: Fill our glass,

Remus: Let's drink a toast!

Roman: This is our birthday...

Remus: So why are we weeping...?

Roman: At your side.

Remus: I feel like a ghost...

Roman: I wake up first.

Remus: And I stare at you sleeping...

(A/N: Imma stop before this gets too angsty-)

~~~

Roman: Did you snap my laptop in half?

Remus: What goes around comes around.

Roman: Are you seriously still upset about that sandwich last week?!

Remus: That was the best sandwich I've ever made and you ate it like it was nothing!

~~~

Patton: I know what Remus wants for Christmas, but what does Remus need?

Virgil: An attitude adjustment and a punch to the face.

Patton: [sigh]

~~~

Patton: Come on Lo! I wasn't that drunk!

Logan, washing his face in the sink: You highlighted my entire face because you said I was important.

Patton, starting to cry: You are!

~~~

Remus: Give me a V!

The sides: V!

Remus: Give me an O!

The sides: O!

Remus: Give me an R!

The sides: R!

Roman: I don't like where this is going-

~~~

Remy: I'm stealing Deceit-

Remus: [kicks door down]

Remus: Bitch no he's mine-

Remy: nO I CALLED DIBS!

Remus: I CALLED DIBS YESTERDAY!

Remy: YOU CANT CALL DIBS ON A DIFFERENT DAY YOU MORON-

Deceit: Guys-

Virgil: [walks past]

Deceit: Virgil help me-

Virgil, stopping: Hmm... Nah. [Continues walking]

Deceit: vIRGIL-

~~~

Roman: Some people say crypids don't exist.

Roman, opening his closet to reveal Remus: But I found this in my closet-

Remus: I like bread-

(A/N: Yeah, I'm throwing in tiktoks, what of it-)

~~~

(A/N: Would anyone like some Trans!Roman-)

Roman: ... I am a man.

Logan, nodding: Yes, you are.

Roman, with tears threatening to spill: A manly man.

Logan: Correct.

Roman: A man that is manly.

Logan: Again, you are correct.

Roman:

Logan:

Logan: Do you need assistance-

Roman, binder halfway on with his head sticking out, crying: Please-

~~~

Virgil: When's the brokest you've ever been?

Deceit: One time my card got declined on a single cup of ramen. The cashier looked at me and said "just take it dude."

~~~