Roman, to Virgil: Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you said that was gay.

~~~

Patton: [goes to hug Virgil]

Virgil: [hisses]

Patton: I will hug you! You will like it!

Virgil: [hisses louder]

~~~

Logan: I'm a stone cold type of man and I have never felt an emotion in my life.

Patton, smiling: Hello Mister Logan! I hope you're having a good day!

Logan, flushed: I'm... A stone co- cold... Type of... Fuck- Oh my god-

~~~

Virgil: I can and will fight anyone that talks bad about my boyfriend.

Roman: I'm not good enough.

Virgil, rolling up his sleeves: Alright you gorgeous piece of shit-

~~~

Logan: We meet here at 2, synchronize your watches.

Roman: I don't know how to do that.

Patton: I don't wear a watch-

Virgil: TIME IS A CONSTRUCT!

~~~

Patton: Hey dad? What does [says a Spanish curse word] mean?

Roman, tearing up: It means I've failed as a father.

(A/N: An AU where Patton is adopted by Roman is something I'd die for-)

~~~

Logan, handing 5-year-old Deceit a piece of paper and a crayon: Here Dee, why don't you draw... What you want to eat for dinner.

Deceit: Okay! [starts to draw]

Logan, now fearful: W-Wait, why are you drawing me?

~~~

(A/N: More Adoption AU-)

Patton: Who the fuck-

Roman: Language!

Patton: quién carajo-

Roman: nO WHO TAUGHT HIM THAT?

Virgil: [giggling behind the sofa]

~~~

Deceit: I've come to ruin your channel and corrupt you!

Thomas: Hold on, let me ask my mom.

Deceit: It's not a choice-

Thomas: She said no.

~~~

Virgil: [using Roman as an armrest cause he's short]

Roman: I can and will damage your kneecaps-

Virgil, in-between laughs: Is that so?

Roman: Your sHINS AREN'T SAFE-

~~~

Okay, quick question, can I like, shitpost angst? Cause I have few ideas- ~ Jay