Logan : you were supposed to do something about the possum under the deck .
Patton : I did ! I named him sir squiggles the brave . He likes fruit loops .
___________________________
Janus : No, Remus can't come . I swear to gods he's " why we cant have nice things" given physical form .
___________________________
Virgil : * accidentally gives Patton a paper cut *
Virgil : oh sweet summer child ! Do you need the first aid kit ? Stitches ? A cast ? How can I ever make it up to you ??
Virgil : * accidentally stabs Roman *
Virgil : get up , you're fine . Stop getting blood on the carpet . It's just a flesh wound .
___________________________
Patton : do you love Remus ?
Logan , sweating : No...
Patton : then why did you draw 'R+L' in hearts all through your notebook?
Logan : it stands for repression and loneliness.
___________________________
Logan : sorry I'm late .
Virgil : what happened?
Logan : nothing , I just didn't want to come .
___________________________
Child Virgil , from his room : Mom!!!
Janus : what's wrong ?
Child Virgil : can you close my closet door ? I think I saw a monster !
Janus : well what makes you think monsters can't open doors ?
Child Virgil:...
* later that night *
Patton, in bed with Janus with Virgil asleep between them : this is why " I" handle the children.
___________________________
Virgil : do you think it's too late for us to change our names and flee the country ?
Janus : at this point , I don't think it would do us much good anyway .
___________________________
Janus : rules are made to be broken .
Logan : no! They were made to be followed . Nothing is made to be broken .
Patton : glow sticks
Virgil : karate boards .
Janus : piñatas
Roman : spaghetti when you have a small pot .
Remus : and rules ~
Logan : [ angry silence]
__________________________
Roman : Janus , I fucking hate you .
Janus : ironic because I do too. Something in common already!
Roman : are you okay ?
Janus , laughing : no , I'm fucking depressed!
Roman: oh my god , something to bond over !
Virgil : you two shouldn't be bonding over that . Logan ! They're bonding over being depressed!
Logan : Roman , Janus , please don't leave the CEO of Thomas' teenage depression out of your depression bonding , Virgil will feel left out .
Virgil : I didn't need to be called out like this , Logan .
___________________________
Remus : I am the Elon Musk of bone ideas .
___________________________