Roman : L from death note is like , canonically gay .
Logan : what ? How do you figure ?
Roman : have you ever seen him sit in a chair correctly ?
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Janus : * regresses in the middle of a conversation *
Janus : * squeaky yawn as he clings to Logan * mama .
Logan : this is my baby now , I'm adopting this one .
Logan : * picks him up and walks off to the kitchen with him *
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[ Roman , the mayor , interviewing possible interns ]
Roman : so , what are your references?
Patton , smiling : I'm the mayor's cousin !
Roman : Impressive!
Patton : I can start after school .
Roman : great ! I'm a demanding boss , so you've been warned .
Patton : I am sure I can handle that !
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Remus : hey , thomathy ! Can I bother you for a second ?
Thomas : you always bother me , but go  on .
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Virgil : life is a party and I'm the piñata .
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Janus : Virgil sent me a gift .
Patton : oh ? That's good , you're getting closer again !
Janus : he said he stole it from his job .
Patton : what ??? That's not good !
Janus : you're right . He is gay , he committed a crime and then rewarded me with his illegal deeds .
Patton : I should really have a talk with him - not about the gay part ...
Janus , taking Patton's hands : HE COMMITTED A CRIME FOR ME ! AGAINST A BIG , MEAN COMPANY!
Janus , euphoric : Patton , the man loves me !
Patton : uh...
Janus : 💛💛💛💛💛
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Roman : dating tip ! Hold the door open for your date . Rip the door off of its hinges . Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men . Establish dominance .
Logan , not looking up from his book : I'm really beginning to see why you're single .
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Logan : you're brain ages faster when you're depressed .
Virgil : oh, that explain my creaky body , general interest in more elderly - related hobbies , and my general hatred for living .
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Logan : * hands Janus a big box *
Janus : Jesus , what is this and why is it so heavy ?
Logan : remember how you said you were uncomfortable being the shortest person in the room ?
Janus : yes ?
Logan : I've fixed that problem.
Janus : how ? Can't magically grow taller , Logan .
Logan : open the box , Janus .
Janus : * opens box and sees really tall platforms * oh my god , they're cute and they're tall ? Logan , I love them !
Logan : thought so .
Janus : my prince deserves a kiss for his difficult endeavor. * kisses his face *
Logan : * computer error screeching *
Janus : love you too , you dead brain cell .
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Remus : * puts on five inch heels *
Janus : are you trying to make it impossible for me to kiss you ?
Remus : no, just making it so I get to carry you around when you want to kiss me .
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