Roman : * trips *
Patton : THE EMPIRE HAS FALLEN .
___________________________
Roman , regressing : * watches Virgil make cookies after dinner and intently buzzing as he watches the cookies in the oven *
Logan : you're so precious.
Virgil : he's getting an extra cookie ! If he doesn't , I swear to god , I will fucking fight a person who denies him his extra Cookie !
___________________________
[ do a crossword together ]
Remus : what's a 9 letter word for ' betrayal' ?
Virgil : treacher -
Deceit, interrupting: Virgil
Virgil :...
Remus : it, um , it doesn't fit ...
Deceit , with conviction: VIR-GIL .
___________________________
Virgil : would you shoot your brother in the leg for ten million dollars ?
Remus : you shoot me , and then , when my leg gets better , we buy a mansion , twelve Ferrari's and a private plane .
Roman : you ah hot me too! The we get twenty million dollars !
Remus: good thinking . Fuck the system !
Virgil : why are you two like this ?
___________________________
Remus : * hands deceit a sippy cup full of angel milk *
Deceit: * hands Remus a sippy cup back full of honey milk *
Remus & deceit : * cuddle up together giggling as they watch Frozen*
___________________________
Deceit: * looking at Remus & Roman aggressively sword fighting with breadsticks , until one breaks in half and falls to the ground *
Deceit: kids are so stupid , I want ten .
___________________________
Logan : Roman asked me to bd his fake date to his cousin's wedding so he could avoid the usual " are you seeing someone ?" Questions .
Virgil : I've read enough fanfics to know this will end with you two declaring your undying love for each other.
___________________________
Patton : sometimes being adult is deciding to buy the off-brand Cheerios because they were on sale .
Patton : but sometimes being an adult is seeing sheets with little cowboys all over them and buying them without thinking because you have a debit card and the cowboys sheets were right there .
___________________________
Logan : we are not getting onesies .
Roman : we're getting onesies !
Patton : ONESIES ?
[ five minutes later ]
Logan , in a onesie : we got the onesies .
___________________________
Virgil : despite popular belief , my life is falling to pieces .
Deceit: popular belief ?
Remus : yeah we all know you're breaking down .
___________________________