Logan : I plan to donate to science, so that one day man kind my being to understand that complexities of my genius .
Virgil: wow .... that could take an infinitesimal amount of time .
Logan : ...
Virgil : :)
___________________________
Patton, at 3am : isn't it weird how we all wear smaller , secret pants under our normal pants?
Logan : Patton , I am trying to sleep . Keep your unsettling underwear queries to yourself.
___________________________
Virgil : you left Patton alone in an animal shelter???
Logan : it's fine ! He just wanted to pet a dog or two . It's not like he's going to adopt a dozen puppies or anythi-
Patton, over text : hey BB! Just got 12 puppies XD come help me carry them ?
Logan : :o
___________________________
Deceit: * watching Virgil at the end of Dwit *
Deceit: it's like an education video showing the collapse of the human mind .
Deceit: and I love it .
___________________________
Virgil, about Remus : how the hell you understand him?
Deceit: I usually don't even know what she talking about . But we use body language.
___________________________
Deceit: we're under the mistletoe . You know what that means .
Logan, looking up at the plant that is obviously not mistletoe: that's not mistletoe.
[ later ]
Logan, bolting up in the middle of the night: shit! He was flirting with me !
___________________________
Remy: I never know what to say to people at funerals
Emile : just say " I'm sorry for your lost ," then move on .
[ an hour later ]
Remy : sorry for your lost . Move on .
___________________________
Roman, somewhat concerned: ...did you just refer to knives as people openers ?
Remus: hehehehehehe perhaaaaps.
___________________________
Logan, taking the knife away from Remus : they're just knives , Remus , please stop being so creepily extra . To prevent you from causing any potential damage, here's a spoon .
Patton: it's like a more friendly fork !
Deceit: a spoon could be a weapon too if you're determined enough.
Virgil , completely done with deceit: you had to ruin it , didn't you ?
___________________________
Roman : you are the worst human I've ever met .
Deceit: I'd be offended if I was human .
Roman : ....
Roman: what ?
Deceit: what ?
___________________________