Chapter 49: Hearts

I arrived in Mudelior halfheartedly. I always thought that it was too ridiculous for Kreios— a king, to spread those silly society papers and make our story a laughingstock of the whole Nemetio Spiran.

I once saw him as someone who was too insensitive and selfish to force me into a decision that was against my will. Alam iyon nina Lily, Claret, Kamahalan at maging ni Reyna Leticia. They all knew how I wanted to stay after what happened in our kingdom, but Kreios continued to cause havoc as if this world was just all about us— and our story.

I wanted to give him a lesson by surprising him with a dagger on his neck. I wanted to give him a hard time manipulating me. I once thought that maybe it was his way to get back at me after I forced him to be the king, and I was just paying for it, but couldn't he wait?

Natatandaan ko pa kung gaano katindi ang galit ko sa kanya sa pag-aakala kong hindi niya man lang naiintindihan ang sitwasyon ko. I wanted to give him a hard time trapping me in his empire— for caging me as if I didn't have any choice but to be his queen.

All my life, I was sheltered and treated as a fragile princess who needed protection. Laging nasa unahan ang mga kapatid ko para akuin ang lahat ng suliranin sa emperyo. I wanted to give back— I wanted to prove that I was more than that and that I was more than the youngest princess who had a singing voice for entertainment. But when Kreios started his ridiculous stunt at ipinadala ako ng mga kapatid ko sa Mudelior na hindi man lang ako hinahayaang tumulong sa kanila, tila pakiramdam ko'y unti-unti nang nawawala ang pangarap na iyon.

It was so frustrating that I started to think about my worth in the empire. I always value and adore my title as a princess, but was that just the title for me? Ano na nga ba ang napatunayan ko katulad ng mga kapatid ko sa Sartorias?

I always asked myself how I could be fitted to be a queen of another empire, if I couldn't even see myself as a worthy princess with her title.

Wasn't I too ambiguous to claim this title as the queen if having a title as a princess was nothing but a name at all?

Buong akala ko nang makarating ako sa Mudelior ay tuluyan na akong lalayo sa responsibilidad sa Sartorias, at haharapin ko na ang pagiging reyna na hindi buo ang puso ngunit hindi ko akalain na handa si Kreios ibigay sa akin ang misyong akala ko'y hindi ko na magagawa.

Now I realized that this particular mission in Mudelior was not meant for anyone else, not for Lily, King Dastan, Zen, Caleb, Finn, Evan, and even Casper, but for me. Father gave me the path... the trail and the puzzle that only I could decipher.

How could anyone think of that? When I first heard the rumors about the Holy Water and how women in the Entertainment District were aware of it, I assumed it was just Father's way of tricking us—a way to deceive those who had an interest in the water. Because there was no way that King Thaddeus would openly point to the place that we'd been looking for.

But who would have thought that it was his way to guide them on their way out? He assured that the rumors would not die down— that it would become an impossible dream for women in the district.

He made it an unbelievable legend.

The women in the Entertainment District were all aware that the Holy Land could never be found, because it would be the one who'd find us.

And my father knew who among his children could reach this place— someone who could be here, not just as royalty, but someone who could perfectly fit in and understand the women. He knew that I would try to be one of these women in the district... he knew that I could decipher this puzzle, and he knew that just like these women around me, I could find it.

Because I have the voice of a performer.

As I continued to sing, the water coming from nowhere was flowing from the higher land to the hollow where I was kneeling, but what I noticed the most was how the Le'Vamuievos brothers walked slowly at the edge of the hollow. Rosh and Pryor positioned themselves on each side and sat there with their legs hanging. Rosh threw something at Pryor who caught it effortlessly.

A flute.

"I guess... I need to participate. I'll just send a notice to Mudelior or Sartorias for the payment," Pryor said with a shrug, expertly positioning his fingers on his flute.

My hands tightened to each other. When I glanced at Rosh, he even winked at me before he finally closed his eyes with a flute in his hands, and before I could even open my mouth again, I felt how my body moved and floated above the water, as the sand made a beautiful lily pad with small little sand flowers around it.

Narinig ko pa na saglit pumiyok iyong flute ni Rosh dahil sa ginawang iyon ni Kreios. Of course, he hated it when someone was trying to create flowers because he believed that the beauty of flowers should only be for him, but in the end, he continued using his flute, yet I noticed how he sharply glared at the back.

Habang nakalutang ako, nakaluhod sa mga buhangin at magkadaop ang mga kamay at patuloy na umaawit na sinasabayan ng magkapatid na Le'Vamueivos hindi tumitigil ang pag-agos ng tubig. The images of those women could only be seen by my eyes, but with their voices, I knew that Rosh, Pryor, and Kreios could hear them.

In Sartorias, I rarely sing. Mas marami pa yata ang pag-awit ko na nagtatanghal sa Deltora sa tuwing binibigyan ako ng imbitasyon ni Tobias. He once asked why I seldom sing in Sartorias which I failed to answer. Not because I didn't know the answer, but because I avoided admitting it.

Dahil sa Sartorias, sa tuwing umaawit ako ay kadalasang handog ko iyon sa pusong naghihirap.

I once dedicated my voice during my father's funeral, when we tried to cut off Zen's tree, Desmond was put under the water, when Tobias was comatose, when my brothers fought and they wouldn't stop, when King Dastan felt so weak after Queen Leticia's absence and when Finn's body was starting to deteriorate inside Zen's ice.

Napakaraming pagkakataon na ginamit ko ang boses ko sa paraang iyon na minsan ay natakot na akong gamitin itong muli. Dahil ang higit kong natatandaan sa awitin ko ay kalungkutan. It was like my singing voice was meant to soothe every broken heart— it might sound good, noble, and a beautiful vampire gift, but behind it was the reality that I could witness every bleeding heart, and the only little thing that I could do was to temporarily soothe their heart but never mend it.

Sometimes I think that this ability could be a curse— that despite its power, its limitation was so frustrating, and I couldn't do anything about it. Because there is no such thing as healing a broken heart— because it's always about how anyone can get used to the pain of brought by it.

But right now... as I sang a song with these women in the mist, finally, with the power of my voice, I didn't feel like it was a curse— a power that wasn't enough, a temporary soothe to a bleeding heart, and a sudden dream too far from the reality.

This time, my voice to my ears felt so powerful as if this place had been waiting for it— that in every corner of this cave, the sound of the flowing water accompanied by the whispers of the flute and my voice reverberating together were more than just a song, but a prayer— a worship not to mend and make illusion but open another life.

Just like how the water from the Holy Land had been known— not a cure but known for new beginnings. Rebirth.

At iyon ang siyang kailangan ng mga babaeng nabuhay nang ilang taon sa bahay ng aliw— bagong buhay.

The water below was creating a slow whirlpool, and this time, while all the women were kneeling, hands clasped and their heads tilted, lips singing, they were looking at me— with a gentle smile and resigned expression as though they had been waiting for me.

Habang patuloy ako sa pag-awit at pagtaas ng tubig ay unti-unti nang nilalamon ng tubig ang katawan ng mga kababaihan.

I should be happy with the realization that Holy Water had found them and given them another life. It was a life they all deserved, but why do I feel odd?

Tumigil ako sa pag-awit ngunit hindi tumigil sa kanilang mga plauta sina Rosh at Pryor. Humarap ako sa likuran ko kung saan naroon si Kreios. If I wanted to know more answers, I had to experience all of it.

I nodded at him.

I glanced at Rosh and Pryor now with their eyes opened. Itinigil nila saglit ang pagtutog sa kanilang mga plauta at magkasunod na tumango sa akin.

Muli akong humarap kay Kreios.

I took a deep breath as he slowly raised one of his hands in my direction, and before I knew it, the lily pad made of golden sands shattered in an instant.

Kusa kong inihiga sa hangin ang aking katawan habang ako'y unti-unting bumubulusok, at dahan-dahan ko nang ipinikit ang aking mga mata. Hanggang sa tuluyan na akong lamunin ng tubig at yakapin nang matinding lamig nito.

The water might look like a spinning whirlpool from the surface, but as I opened my eyes again, it felt as though I was sent under a peaceful sea at night as the filtered moonlight pierced through the water.

Akala ko ay hanggang doon lang ang makikita ko nang sunod-sunod na mga katawan ng mga babae ang tila nahulog sa tubig. But unlike me who allowed my body to sink to the depth of the sea, all the bodies above me struggled and swam at the surface.

Bubbles erupted from my mouth as I tried to reach their backs as they swam further, and then I followed them. Pero bago pa man ako makarating sa itaas ng tubig ay bigla nang nanlabo ang mga mata ko. Until I slowly closed my eyes again, unable to breathe— yet giving me flashes of memories I knew were theirs.

One woman came from a well, another came from the river, a sea, a pond, and even a commoner's bathroom. All the women reappeared from different bodies of water without their memories.

And I was there, watching them from afar as they slowly started their new life. Some women become artists, singers, bakers, mothers, and teachers, cultivate beautiful gardens, sell garments and perfume, bake pastries, and different paths far from the abusive district.

They had the life they all deserved.

Habang pinapanuod ko ang mundong nararapat sa mga kababaihan na pinalaya nina ama't Danna, hindi ko alam kung bakit tila may bagay pa akong dapat masaksihan sa nakaraang ito. I feel as though this wasn't the end.

With hundreds of memories from the past as a woman from afar—I witnessed their every emotion. Ramdam ko ang kaba sa dibdib ko habang umaasa akong hindi na makakita pa ng ikinatatakot ko, ngunit hindi ako dadalhin ng tubig sa mga nakaraang ito kung hindi nito nais ipakita sa akin ang lahat.

Because those women who were once saved by the Holy Land were hunted again, not by the men from the entertainment district, but by the silhouette of a winged horned man— taking their hearts as their blood splattered on the ground.

Before I could reach it as though I could help the poor woman from the hand of the devil, the clear image of Atlas appeared between my eyes.

I stopped, my hands balled, and my tears fell as I realized that Atlas never reached the Holy Land just like Father and Danna because he used the hearts of those women who had the blessing of the Holy Land— until he waited for the perfect time to take Kalla's heart.

The visions around me crumbled as I was brought to a different place— it was a castle, Atlas' heavy footsteps, his hands filled with blood, and a woman in a beautiful golden tub.

Lumuhod roon si Atlas habang pinipiga niya ang pusong hawak niya patungo sa katawan ng babae. Nakatuon ang kanyang noo sa marmol na paliguan habang tila nagmamakaawa at ibinubulong ang pangalan ni Veda.

Miraculously, the heart was not dripping with blood, but water— glimmering water— the water that held Veda's body for years was the heart of the women from the Entertainment District.

Akala ko ay wala nang hihigit pa sa nakikita ko, ngunit nang may aninong bigla na lang nagpakita sa likuran ni Atlas at talim ng espada na handa ritong umatake, agad umangat ang isang kamay ni Atlas dahilan kung bakit tumilapon sa pader ang katawan ni Livius.

"You filthy vampire. Do you think you can kill me?"

Agad naglaho si Atlas sa kinatatayuan niya at marahas niyang inangat ang katawan ni Livius.

"Wala kang karapatang kunin ang buhay ng mga babaeng iyon! They deserve to live! It's their life! Your woman is dead! You good for nothing demon!"

"Do you think you can kill me?"

"Fuck off!"

"Do you think hiding them would save them from me?"

"I will kill your woman!"

Humalakhak si Atlas sa sinabi ni Livius at higit itong lumapit. Kapwa nagningas ng kulay itim ang kanilang mga mata. "Now it's your job, little thing, I command you to collect every heart from the Holy Land to take it on my behalf and you will never stop until a hand from the Holy Land will kill you."

Muling humalakhak si Atlas. "Which is impossible."

Atlas bit Livius' neck and allowed black blood to soak into his mouth and Livius' shoulder.

For years, Livius, my childhood friend, Kreios, and Desmond's brother who once lived to save women in slavery, lived a life he never wanted— collecting the hearts of the women while waiting for me to find the Holy Land.

Marahas akong umahon sa pangpang at doon ay agad akong inalalayan nina Kreios, Rosh, at Pryor.

Basang-basa ako ng tubig habang nakatitig sa dalawa kong mga kamay.

Atlas was wrong because it wasn't impossible. The Holy Land had found me.

Nangangatal akong nakatitig sa dalawa kong mga kamay. Rinig ko ang paulit-ulit na tawag nina Kreios, Pryor at Rosh sa akin.

"What did you see?"

"Harper..."

"What happened?"

Because Livius appeared in Mudelior... just to be killed by these hands for the murders he never wanted.