Dedication: To beckysains52 for supporting me to share my stories on this page and for being the most wonderful Supernatural sister I have ever had!!! I Love Ya Dean <3 Thanks!!
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( based off of season 9 episode 8, Rock and a Hard Place).

-Jody Mills leaves the motel room n the door closes slowly. Sam throws his bag down onto the bed and sits down and exhailes. Dean notices this.

Dean- "What's up?"

Sam- "What if there is something wrong with me, something really wrong"

Dean- "Your just crapped out man, you need some rest."

Sam- "No its more than that. I mean Vesta said I was pratically dead inside"

Dean- "Oh and she is in the circle of trust now"

Sam- "Why would she lie??"

Dean- "Its probably the trials, ok. Probably some sorta of, you know after effect. It's not like you're bouncing back from the flu here, I mean you were glowing with freaking trial juice."

Sam-"I don't know."

Dean- "What else would it be??"

Sam- "Why does it have to be something else! It's always something else, we're always scraping to find some other explaination, when maybe...it is just me."

Dean- "Oh, come on sam!"

Sam- "I'm a mess Dean, n you know it. And sometimes I feel like maybe I'm never actually gonna be alright."

Dean- "You will. Alright whatever it is we'll figure it out."

Sam- "Or this is just...the way I am."

Dean turned his face away from Sam and closed his eyes. He couldn't handle it anymore, this secret he was keeping from him. Dean couldn't let Sam feel as if he was broken and unfixable, he needed to tell Sam everything. Tell him that the trials almost killed him and he did what he had to, to save Sam. Dean had to tell him that, he let an angel into him and to try and take this huge weight off of Sammy's shoulder. Dean walked over towards Sam and sat down nexts to his brother.

Dean- "I can't. I can't let you put this on yourself. Listen to me, it's not you, Sam"

-Sam's body sat straight up and his eyes glew blue.

Zeke- "I wouldn't do that Dean"

Dean- " He deserves to know!"

Zeke- "Your brother is not ready. if he ejects me, he will not make it."

Dean- "Well damn it Zeke! How much longer do we got to keep playing this!"

Zeke- "Not much longer, I promise you that."

Sam- "What?"

Dean- "What??"

Dean was confussed for a second but then quickly realized that he was talking to his baby brother again and not the angel that had been possessing him.

Sam- "What? Whats not me?"

Dean- "Nothing. I just I meant, that if there is something wrong, its not your fault, we'll deal with it. Ya just got to have a little faith Sammy."

-Dean got up and went back over to his bag and started to pack up again. Slience was all in the room. Then Sam exhailes again and zips up his bag and gathers his stuff and leaves the room without a single word. Dean stops packing and drops his head. He exhailes and closes his eyes. He raise his head up to see the back of Sam and the door closes behind him. Dean is full of guilt. He knows his little brother is in pain and is confussed and he reached out for answers in him and he couldn't give them to Sammy. Sammy left the room broken and Dean held all the pieces and glue in his hands but couldn't put the missing pieces into place.

Sam threw his bags into the trunk. He stared at all the different weapons in the back. Soo much pain and death and destruction layed inside this trunk and inside himself. He slambed it closed and got into the passenger seat. He waited for Dean to show up.
Dean finally came out and got into the impala. They drove off and the whole ride they were quite, no words, only glaces from Dean to Sam. Sam just stayed quite and stared out the window. He soo badly wanted to know what was wrong with him, he just wanted to be alright but feared that it would never happen.

Sam slowly fell asleep in the car ride, but it wasn't a peaceful sleep. His mind raced through all of his mistakes in life and all the times he let down his big brother Dean and all the pain he caused.

They continued to drive down the highway and Sam's thoughts went to that night in the church and how ready he was to die and how okay he was with it. He was just in soo much pain that he wanted it all to stop, to end. He remembers seeing Dean's face when he said he didn't care to die, how much hurt was in his eyes.

Dean- "If you finish this trial. Your dead Sam."

Sam- "So?"

-Dean lowered his eyes and saw the pain in Sam's face. He looked confussed by what his little brother had said. One word and it held everything: sadness, pain, lost and emptyness; Sammy's whole life in one word. Dean could see his brother broken infront of him and knew he had to convince him to understand and trust him, cause Dean feared what could happen if Sammy didn't understand how important he was and that Dean truly needed him brother in his life and they would get through it all together. Dean walked closer to Sam, his voice calmer and slower. Dean knows he has to convince his brother that he loves him with everything.

Dean- "I can't do it without ya."

-Dean hoped saying these few words would allow Sammy to see he cared for him and couldn't go on without him, but Sam didn't see it and hammered into the facts of how horrible he was and how Dean viewed him as a kid. How he needed to be looked after, who wasn't strong enough to fight alone, when he has been feeling as if he has been fighting his battles all alone forever.

Sam- "You can barely do it with me!? I mean you think I screw up everything I try, you think I need a chaperone. Remember?!"

Dean- "Come on man, thats not what I meant."

Sam- "No. It's exactually what you meant."
"You want to know what I confessed in there?! My Greatest Sin was?!? Was how many times I let you down!! I can't do that again."

Dean- "Sam."

Sam- "What happens when when you decied I can't be trusted again! I mean who are you gonna turn to nexts time, instead of me? Another Angel, another...another vampire. Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother just...''

Dean- "Hold on hold on! You seriously think that?! Cause none of it, none of it is true! Listen man, I know we have had our disagreements okay hell, I know I've said some junk that set you back on your heels, but Sammy come on?! I killed Benny to save you! I'm willing to let this basterd and all of the sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you!! Don't you dare,think that there is anything Past or Present that I would put in front of you, It has never been like that Ever!!! I need ya to see that, I'm bagging you."

Sam- "How do I stop?"

-For the first second of this whole night, Dean saw hope. He inhialed and was soo glad and happy. He felt relieved that he broke through to his brother and he needed to hurry to save him or Sammy might...Dean didn't want to think about that. He got Sammy's attention and he knew he had to jump in and save his little brother from himself.

Dean- "Just let it go"

Sam- "I can't! It's in me Dean, you don't know what it feels like."

Dean- "Hey listen, we will figure it out, okay. Just like we always do. Come on, come one. Let it go, okay. Let it go brother."

Sam- "Hey?"

-Sam's hands and arms that were glowing began to flicker and stop glowing.

Dean- "See."

-Dean smiled with joy that his little baby brother was going to be alright. Sammy looked up at him with hope in his eyes. Sam had a smile on his face that made Dean's heart warm, but then, everything changed. Sam cried out in pain and fell to the ground. Fear rose back into Dean and he called out Sam's name.

Dean- "Sam???"

-Sam woke up to Dean pattng on his arm. They had made it back to the bunker. Sam looked around a minute. He was dazed from the dream/memory he just had. It felt soo real, as if he was reliving it all over again. Sam looked down at his arms. They weren't glowing with trial juice but Sam rubbed them and blinked a few times. Dean got out of the impala and noticed Sam not moving from his seat. Dean looked back inside the car at his little brother.

Dean- "Dude, you okay?"

Sam broke his focuss on his arms and looked up at Dean quickly. He saw that same old conserned look on his older brother's face and knew he had to say everything was okay, nothing was wrong. Sam cleared his throat and nodded.

Sam- "I'm fine."

Dean looked at Sam for a second longer.
Dean- "Good."

Dean left Sam sitting in the impala. Sam finally got out but felt still the same as he did that night in the church. Nothing has changed between him and Dean and clearly nothing has changed inside himself. He was alive and his brother was too and they were for the most part on the same page, but just a few paragraphs off from one another. Dean seemed to be the same old Dean he ever was, still worrying about everything Sam said or did.

But Sam still desired to die and he just wished he would have finished the trials and ended all of this crap. He now felt worst and didn't feel right just blaming it all on the trials like Dean could. Sam truely felt like all of this pain, lost and hurt feelings were just who he was, it was apart of him and he knew there was no way of ripping those pieces from within him.