Sorry this took a month, I for sidetracked and just forgot about it😅
3k words
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Chapter 6: Vulnerable
'Jealousy'

I stepped into the hangar; expecting her to be in here. But to my annoyance, it was empty. I quickly checked the time to see that it was about an hour past her usual start time, not that I'm actually surprised right now, she appeared to have had a rather busy night.

As did I; I had to listen to a god awful lecture from Tarkin about how I abuse my power. He was more upset than I expected when he found out what I did to Captain Azalea. And I had to come up with some bullshit excuse as to why I killed her; I couldn't exactly tell him that's it's because she threatened the mechanic.

He would have questioned me about why it mattered, and I didn't exactly have an answer for that.

Truth is; I didn't know why it mattered. I hardly understand anything that I've been feeling lately.

I sighed as I brought my comlink up and placed a transmission to her, and after a few seconds; I heard her voice, "Yes?" She spoke and I could hear the tiredness in her tone.

"Hangar. Now." I responded to her sternly.

She didn't give me an answer; I figured it was because the tone in my voice, scared her into hurrying up, which is what I was hoping for.

I folded my arms across my chest while I waited for her, and my eyes darted around the room; until my gaze landed on something that was laying on the floor.

I narrowed my eyes at it, before walking towards the bottle and picking it up. I eyed the empty container that once held alcohol inside, and judging by the brand; this was Tarkins.

Well, looks like I found the source of her little escapade last night. Adam must have taken this from Tarkins office when he wasn't around.

The door to the hangar opened, and I knew it was her by her sudden rapid thoughts. I looked up while holding up the bottle of whiskey, "It appears you forgot something."

"Sorry." She mumbled; looking towards the ground nervously.

"Whatever," I threw the bottle into the trash can with a sigh, "That's not why I called you here." I spoke; stepping closer to her.

She looked up slowly to meet my gaze, and her eyes widened in surprise by how close I had gotten, "Why did you call me?" She questioned in her soft, weary voice.

"Do you remember what I told you last night?" I asked; tilting my head to the side. I had a feeling she didn't, she was pretty far gone.

She furrowed her brows while searching her mind for an answer, but I could tell she was drawing blanks, "Honestly no." She admitted reluctantly.

I rolled my eyes, "I expected you wouldn't. Now that you're done with these," I gestured around the room at the finished TIE-Fighters, "I will be bringing in more for you to do."

"More?" She whined.

"Is that an issue?" I growled, and her eyes slightly widened.

"No." She quickly shook her head.

I smirked at her quick obedience, "Good," I stepped closer to her; there was something else I wanted to mention. Something that kept me up thinking last night, "Now, how about we discuss that other little thing." I kept moving closer to her; she was slowly backing up into a wall, away from me.

"W-what other thing?" She asked nervously. I brought my face closer to hers absentmindedly. She always had a habit of making me react in a way that is unbeknownst to me.

"When you kissed Adam, why were you thinking of me?" I asked as I pressed my body to hers. Suppressing the urge to kiss her, even though I was dying to. But I couldn't explain why; I just felt completely drawn to her. Although, it was an extremely dangerous thing for me to feel. Because of who I am, I would eventually become the death of her. I hardly see it playing out any other way,

"I wasn't." She lied breathlessly.

I brought my finger up to her lips, and pressed down gently; feeling their softness for the first time, "What did I say about lying (y/n)?" I reminded her of our first ever conversation.

"I-I don't know why, I was just drunk." She answered the question to the best of her ability.

My eyes traveled along her facial features; taking in every perfect imperfection. Her (y/e/c) worn out eyes glimmered in the light enchantingly, and her bun was a bit messy, but the way the loose strands covered parts of her face was breathtaking. She was beautiful, beyond beautiful, and I knew being this close to her was wrong; but for once, I wanted to feel something that wasn't my own self-loathing.

"Did you wish it was me?" I brought my face closer so my nose touched hers, and my lips nearly grazed hers. She was nervously silent, and I could hear her heart pounding in her chest,"Well?" I asked softly; waiting for the answer that I already knew.

"I don't know what to say." She responded timidly.

"The truth, might as well, I already know the answer." I smiled cockily.

"Yes." She swallowed nervously; her eyes darting from from my lips to my eyes.

I chuckled in amusement; she was entertaining to me, I adored the way her cheeks grew red when I teased her; I couldn't help but like her, even though I shouldn't. "The new TIE-fighters will be here tomorrow." I backed away from her, resisting the urge to kiss her. I couldn't allow myself to go that far because I doubt I'd be able to stop, and that's a rabbit hole of events that will only end horribly.

I turned away from her and left the hangar, leaving her there stunned while she confusedly watched my walk away.

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The one time I decide to eat the shitty food in the cafeteria; I'm met with a sight that enraged me the second I entered the doors. I told myself to walk away, to grab something and go back to my office as originally planned.

But my stubbornness had other ideas.

I walked up to the table; wide eyes from everyone in the cafeteria were watching me. (y/n) and Adam are practically the only ones who haven't noticed that I was here, even after I stood right next to their table; glaring down at them, "I understand let's just forget it ever happened and have things be normal between us," Adam smiled happily at her, "Agreed?"

She returned the smile and squeezed his hand gently, and I narrowed my eyes at their joint hands. "Agreed."

He didn't release her hand like she was expecting him too, instead he squeezed it tight; basically contradicting his earlier words, and his eyes bore into hers with longing.

A: She'll love me eventually, I just need to be patient.

Pathetic. "Again, am I interrupting something?"

They both jumped, and (y/n) quickly pulled her hand away from Adam, before they both looked up at me with surprised eyes.

Once again, the idea of giving this man a bell comes to mind.

My eyes met hers when I heard her thoughts, but she quickly looked away from me.

"No my Lord." Adam responded and I snorted.

"Come with me Adam, we have things to discuss." I spoke sternly, and turned to walk out the doors. I clenched my jaw together while I stood in the hallway; waiting for him.

He finally stepped out with a worried gaze, "Is everything alright my lord?"

I turned down the hallway, "My office, now." I began walking, and I could hear his slow steps following behind me, until we finally reached my office.

He leisurely followed me inside, and I waved the door closed behind me. I thought about killing him; it would definitely be satisfying, but after just killing Azalea, it probably wouldn't be the best move. But, there was something that I've been meaning to talk to him about, "It has been brought to my attention that you helped the mechanic, (y/n), finish her constructions on the Tie-Fighters." I turned around to face him with my back to my desk.

He nodded, "Yes my lord she was-"

"Don't do that again without my authorization," I demanded; interrupting whatever excuse he was about to give, "You have your own shit to do, and this little relationship you're clearly trying to form is proving to be a distraction. Stay away from her and her work, and focus on your own. This is the only warning I will give you." I stepped closer to him threateningly; staring him down like the speck of dust that he is, compared to me, "Is that understood?"

He nodded immediately, "Yes my Lord, I apologize."

"You can get out now, and go back to your station." I turned away from him to walk around my desk, and take a seat in my chair. I didn't plan to go back to the mess hall; I was no longer hungry.

By the time I got in my chair, he had already left the room; he probably ran as most people do. I sighed, and leaned my head back against the chair; closing my eyes.

What is this girl doing to me? Now even my own jealousy was starting to get the better of me, and I hated it. I hated it because for once, I didn't feel in control of myself.

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My nightly routine; I sat on the couch with a glass in my hand. Reminiscing about the only person in this galaxy so far that has never made me feel unloved, besides my mother; Ahsoka.

I was already pretty drunk, my liver no doubt hates me for the way I abuse it, time and time again. But I didn't care, I needed this relief from this miserable life that holds no light, no happiness; only pain, darkness, and suffering.

"I really wish you were sill here," I spoke to the beads that were sitting on my coffee table. I sometimes talked to them like she was really here, listening to me. Not that she would be if she could hear me, she'd probably hate who I've become, and I wouldn't blame her.

I went to drink my glass, but I paused when I felt a pain in my chest, and intense pain. But it wasn't my own, it was someone else's. I brought the glass down and closed my eyes, focusing on this individuals emotions. It was her, she was feeling pain over the recent loss of her brother.

I set the cup down on the table, and grabbed the beads; placing them gently in the box before putting them in my desk drawer. The same drawer I pulled my comlink out of, and I placed a call to (y/n). Don't ask me why, I had no idea why I felt the need to call her. I just felt the urge to be around her.

"Yes?" She answered in a hoarse voice.

"Come here." I responded to her softly, not trying to sound angry or intimidating as I usually did.

"On my way." She responded back almost immediately.

I threw the com back into the drawer, and walked over to the couch to sit as I have been for the past hour and a half. I then heard the sound of her steps, and her mind racing with curiosity. I expected her to take longer, but I guess I was wrong.

As soon as I felt her presence by the door, I waved it open. She stood there nervously in her pajamas with her legs and chest exposed. I pushed away the lust that slowly began to consume me and gestured for her to come inside; she obliged.

"Sit." I pointed to the empty spot on the couch next to me.

She listened to me and quickly sat down, "Why did you call me?" She asked curiously while I kept my gaze on the floor.

"I felt your pain." I responded before handing her a glass of whiskey.

"I don't know if I should drink this, " She set the cup down onto the table, "Not after last time." She began to think about how she threw up in front of me; clearly embarrassed about it. Not that she should be, it could've been worse.

"More for me." I grabbed it from the table, and downed the cup in only a few seconds; without taking a breath.

I had so many questions I wanted to ask him. Why did he call me here? He said it was because he felt my pain, but still, why does it matter if I'm in pain? What the hell was he doing with me in the Hangar? And also, what happened to the man from last week?

"Can I ask you something?" She questioned me while my eyes stayed fixated on the cup in my hand; admiring the way the ceiling lights highlighted the crystal designs.

"I know what it's like to lose a sibling and the man is dead." I answered two out of the three questions she had thought of; trying to save her some breath.

"You had a sibling?" She asked in a surprised tone.

I nodded, "A sister." I smiled at the memory of her, she was a huge pain in my ass; but I loved her unconditionally as any brother would love his sister, "She was a snippy little thing." She always loved to argue, I blame myself for that; she picked up on too many of my bad habits.

"Those beads," She spoke in realization, "They were hers weren't they?"

I nodded; my smile dropping into a frown as I began pouring more alcohol into my glass. I was probably a few cups away from a black out, but once again; I didn't care. I was in so much pain that it sometimes became unbearable, unless I'm drunk.

"You missed one of my questions." She stated, changing the subject. I looked away from the cup to meet her eyes before setting it down.

"Ask me then." I leaned my back against the couch, but kept my gaze on her.

"The hangar, what was that?" She asked; causing my lips to tug into a smile. That was just me having some fun.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I tilted my head with a smirk; teasing her.

She shot me an annoyed glare, "Seriously?"

In my drunkenness, and my urge to tease her further; I leaned forward to get closer to her, "You mean when I did this?" My nose was touching hers again, and my lips actually grazed hers this time; accidentally. My playful mood suddenly fell, and I found myself agonizingly resisting the desire to kiss her.

"Yeah," She responded nervously.

I was about to pull away from her, despite how terribly I wanted to rip her clothes off, and fuck her on this couch right now.

But I didn't get the chance to, she did something that I didn't expect her to do.

She kissed me.

I stiffened in surprise; my eyes growing wide. But the butterflies that erupted in my stomach prompted me to kiss her back. She brought her hands up to my face and pushed herself closer to me, and I felt like I was drowning in this amazing unfamiliar feeling.

I soon felt a tightness in my pants, and growled hungrily; gripping onto her hips, lifting her up, and setting her on my lap. The pressure it brought was enough to make me want to go animalistic, I wanted her so bad it was almost painful.

She deepened the kiss and I ran my hands through her hair, before bringing my lips down to her neck; nibbling lightly on the skin. She moaned beautifully, and it made me harder.

But then an image flashed in my mind. An image of her dead; caught in the aftermath of one of my rage filled tempers. And another image of Sidious learning about her, and killing her in front of me as a lesson.

That's her fate if I choose to be with her, death.

I wanted her, so bad, but I had to live with the fact that I could never have her. I don't even deserve her.

I gripped her roughly and shoved her off of me and onto the floor. I didn't mean to be so aggressive with her, but I needed her afraid, I needed her to stay away from me.

"Get out," I spoke in an angered tone with my back to her, but she didn't listen, "I said get out!" I shouted aggressively, and the lights in the room began to flicker from my unhinged emotions.

I heard the sound of her fumbling to her feet, and her rushed footsteps as she ran out of the door. I dropped my head down to my hands in shame; wanting to cry from how unhappy I have become.

She yelled in pain when she had fallen, and now I was worried that I actually really hurt her.

Although I told myself to stay away, I just had to make sure that she was okay. Once I knew that, then I'll keep my distance from her, maybe I'll even leave for awhile.

I stepped out into the hall, and glanced down to my left. My rage immediately returned as I watched Adam pick her up. He began to walk away with her in his arms, and her eyes slowly looked down the hall, and met my own. Until finally, she was no longer in my view. I was shaking, and I wanted to go after them and tear him apart; literally.

But then what if I hurt her in the process?

I took a deep breath and turned my towards a clone who was idly walking down the halls, "You." I stoped him with the force, and he froze; looking over at me, "Get a ship prepared for me, I'm leaving."

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Finally finished this one, it was like halfway done in my drafts for the longest time and I finally found the motivation to finish it❤️
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