Disclaimer: Some readers may find the content in this chapter distressing. 

August, 2019

Death danced through the crowd clad in black as grim faces exchanged few words while they mourned their loss.

All while my eyes were locked on him. Black button up. Charcoal slacks. Chocolate eyes. And shaggy, buttery blonde hair.

As Lord Huron's The Night We Met began to echo through the house, I found myself instinctively rising to my feet, closing the distance between us. One last try, my last shred of hope whispered.

When I stopped behind him though, he didn't turn.

Jayce and Emma glanced over at me, yet his back remained steadfast facing my direction.

I knew he knew I was there. There was no doubt he could hear my heart racing in anticipation.

Though, as usual, he ignored me.

I was insignificant to him. A bug on the bottom of his shoe. A stain on a good shirt.

"Lukas," I tried.

His glance at me was quick and dismissive. "What?"

"Will you dance with me?" voice full of desperation.

He spun to face me, expression full of disbelief and disdain. "Are you serious right now?"

"Yes."

"... No, Olivia. I will not dance with you. Read the room."

I nodded then backed up as he pivoted away from me, excluding me once again.

I continued stepping away, watching him as I went. Wishing he would turn to look at me once more.

Just once more...

Though once more never came for me... for us.

"Take me back to the night we met."

I exited out of the back of the house into the crisp night. The breeze should have chilled me—should have shocked me out of my stupor. Yet I remained just as numb as my eyes swept over the pool, remembering when I returned to this place... when I first saw him again, drunk and gazing at the water.

I should have told him then about Ben.

Regrets and missed opportunities consumed my mind, pulling the repressed ache back into my chest.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you..."

The lyrics lingered in my heart, forcing me further away from the house and the pool where promises once paddled.

I need to leave, the thought shoved its way in.

And run away? Like you did last time? my mind replied.

Have I not waited long enough? He doesn't want me anymore. Staying won't fix this anymore.

He's not coming back to me.

Ben's not coming back.

Erica's not coming back.

"Give up, Ollie," the words whispered their way into my mind.

I shook my head as a sting rose to my eyes.

"You and I should have never happened."

No... he didn't mean it like that.

A warm wetness cascaded down my cheeks, a saltiness slipping into my mouth.

"Just go home, Olivia."

Home?

I don't have a home left.

Not without all of you.

A door opened behind me.

Not wanting anyone to see me in this state, I jumped. High in the air, I unfurled my wings and shrunk down before taking off into the night.

Flying away, the wind drifted me far from the flashbacks of festering grief. From the friends who had forgotten and written me off for all my mistakes.

"Perhaps we weren't meant to be."

We weren't. We really weren't.

I settled atop the highest building I could find, clinging on to the glass peaks as its visitors ambled about on the viewing platform below. London loomed as far as my eye could see, a cacophony of should haves and would haves tucked in its memories if hindsight had instead been foresight.

My heart raced as I leaned over the edge, looking at the steep drop.

"Give up."

"You're only getting in the way."

"Give up."

"You and I should have never happened."

"Perhaps we weren't meant to be."

"Give up."

Words of my loved ones raced on repeat through my head in fast succession, chanting at me, digging the spikes deeper into my heart.

Would instinct kick in if I jumped? I wondered. Would my wings unfurl regardless if I willed them not to?

"Give up."

"You're getting in the way."

Useless.

Pathetic.

No one needs you anymore.

Useless.

Pathetic.

"Give up."

Useless.

He doesn't love you anymore.

He doesn't need you anymore.

No one needs you.

"Give up."

"No," I sobbed, though my grip on the glass loosened.

"Give up."

My hands trembled. My body shook from the pent up despair.

There's no end in sight.

It's either go home, or...

Then I let go.

The wind rushed around me.

My head dipped towards the ground.

And freedom felt like it finally found me.

"Olivia!"