May, 2019

In the week that followed Emma agreeing to move in, I found myself fully able to put the past behind me. Though this was largely because the present was full of so many other concerns.

When I entered the Hammersmith House on Friday afternoon, having spent the day finishing off one of my last business assessments, the smell of fruity blood immediately met my nose as I stepped into the foyer.

At once, I dropped my bag, kicked off my shoes, and tracked the scent down to the medical room. On my way, it was hard to not notice the drops of blood on the floorboards, leaving a breadcrumb trail for me to follow.

Please tell me this is another nightmare, I couldn't help but beg as I made it to the basement level and stopped in front of the closed door. Red liquid coated the silver handle, with flecks of crimson tainting the white paint on the wood.

To prepare myself for what I might find, I took a deep breath before I pushed the door open.

An overwhelming, mouthwatering scent consumed the air, taking over my senses before I could focus on the sight. But once I did...

"What happened?" I demanded as I rushed to Emma's side. She clutched a gauze to her arm as various shades of red (maroon, scarlet wine, and flecks of brown) from the oxidation of her blood flowed down her copper-coloured flesh.

"Nothing to worry about," she sighed as though the amount of blood oozing from her arm wasn't alarming. "Got hit with two at once and the first knocked my healing potion from my hand before I could use it while the other took good chunks out of me."

With narrowing eyes, I glanced back at Erica who was busily throwing together a potion on the table while Emma sat here bleeding out.

"This won't do," I said.

"What won't?" she pressed.

But I responded by gently touching her hand with mine, attempting to pry her hold up.

"I'm fine," Emma tried to stress, fingers not budging from their grip on her arm.

"Your blood is all over the house and on the floor, and your face is turning slightly pale..."

"I'll live until Erica's done."

"She's got at least another twenty minutes on that potion. Let me look at it."

"No," she grumbled as I tried to lift her fingers again, head turning away from me as she pouted her lips.

"Let me help you."

"I don't need your help."

"Everyone needs help, Emma. And you can at the very least accept it from—"

"I don't want your help. Because I know what you're going to suggest."

My tugs went still. Ever so slowly, I removed my hand from on top of hers—as if leaving her too quickly would explode the final shreds of stability I had left. It was another blow from her this week. Another sign that something between us wasn't right... not since she left the morning after agreeing to move in.

What changed?

Did thinking about it for longer make her realise she wasn't ready to commit to me?

Had I said or done something the night before that had upset her?

Or was I just simply someone people were always bound to eventually run from?

"You know I don't want you drinking from me," she whispered, unable to meet my deflated gaze. She knew what she had done with her words; that the parts of me clinging on to hope had now been sliced. Yet she didn't even make any move to retract them.

"I wasn't going to drink from you."

Her head tilted my way slightly, her gaze more reproachful.

But now under her watch, I looked away.

"What were you going to do? Spit on me?"

"Basically," I muttered.

I could see in my peripherals her nose scrunch up before she opened her mouth to speak again. "That's a bit—"

Though I didn't let her finish her sentence. "Do what you want. I'll be in my room."

Emma didn't call after me as I left her side without so much as another glance her way. Though Erica did pause for a second to look at me with morose... and with a touch of 'I told you so' clouding her gaze.

But I ignored her too.

And I ignored the scent of blood that lingered in the house, making me want to turn back and drink her right up.

· · ───── ∘☽༓☾∘ ───── · ·

December, 2018

"Call her," Erica said as I glanced again at the contact in my phone.

"No one calls these days, Ri," I grumbled back before turning my phone upside down—still unable to turn the screen off as I wondered again about the girl who let me unleash all my demons on her despite that we were only supposed to be a one-off one-night thing.

"Then text her," she followed with.

"And say what?"

"'Hey, it's Lukas. Want to catch up sometime?'"

"Ugh, that sounds lame!" I snatched a pillow from the couch and buried my head on it. "How do I make it not sound like I'm after anything?"

"It's a bit hard when you bedded her."

But I was unable to respond with anything, too mortified by my own emotions stirring in me. The small threads of the burning bond wanted to cling to the past... but a larger part of me yearned for the closeness and affection this woman had afforded me for the first time in over a year. Her kindness and allure had been hard to not think about every waking second since I left her after we hid the Made's corpse in the sewer a week ago (with Ri, Jayce, and I returning hours later to properly dispose of the body).

"You've been impossible all week and will continue to be until you contact her," Erica went on, trying to reinforce her suggestion.

"How have I been—" I finally started to emerge from my plushy sanctuary, ready to defend myself.

But she was already cutting me off. "Every time we've gone somewhere, had an event, or even tried watching a movie together," her hand waved at the screen whereby the very movie we were watching had been paused, "You can't stop pulling out your phone and glancing at her contact."

"I..." I tried to think of a comeback... of a justification to my actions. But I came out blank. Because there was no denying the truth in her description. "What if she doesn't respond?" I whispered.

Ri's face softened as she saw the scared boy in me—the one who had been broken too many times by love—let himself to the fore.

During our relationship, too often did I storm away at points like this when I felt I had been cornered in my arguments. Rather than facing the truth with her, I'd rather outright ignore her until she dropped it. But after Emma encouraged me to lay myself out there for Ri—to trust she will still be there after seeing all ugly sides of me, which she most definitely was—it was getting easier to expose myself.

"Then... London is a big place. You will go on and forget her... or appreciate the moment you had, but let go of any chance for more. You won't have to run into her."

Pressing my lips together, I buried my chin between my knees, half concealing my face, but still keeping my head up this time. "I guess."

"You mean you know. And you know what you need to do. Because you won't rest until you call or text her to see of there's any chance of another date."

"Who said I wanted anything romantic? I just want a friend—"

"Don't do that again. Don't cut yourself off from love and erect that wall again until you're waiting for someone stubborn enough to knock it down. Take risks. Jump in. Feel the pain if you fall over. But learn to keep getting up. It's the only way to live, Lukas."

With a sigh, I said, "But where would I take her?"

She shrugged, though a smirk was evident on her face—she knew she was winning here. For the first time in a long time. "How about the cinema?"

I was quick to shake my head, flashes of copper and emerald tainting my memories of movie dates.

"Right, right. Sorry... I didn't think," she quickly stated, clearly knowing where I went. "How about... a museum?"

My brows knotted together. "Museum?"

"She's a teacher, right? And new to London? And you've certainly never done the touristy stuff... why not? It could be a great experience for you both. Plus, it's free. So it removes any awkwardness or pressure of money."

I thought the idea over for a moment, then I pulled my phone out and began starting a text. But I hesitated as I got to the request.

"Go for the British Museum. It's got great variety."

So I added that to my message, thumb finally hovering over the send button.

My heart pounded in my chest as I read and re-read my text, wondering if I was seeming blase enough. Wondering if I was being too forward.

Was a week too long to follow up?

Or was it too soon?

Did I phrase it all right?

Though before I could hesitate longer, Erica's hand slammed down on top of mine, forcing my finger to hit the send button.

"Ri!" I exclaimed, turning to look at her in shock.

"Someone had to push you," she smiled at me, a slight touch of fear in her eyes.

I set my phone down on the table—screen down so I couldn't see if she responded—as I went off at her. "I had to do this in my own time! At my own pace! I was thinking of rephrasing a part of it and—"

Though cutting me off was the message ding of my phone.

A knowing smirk spread across Erica's face as she said, "That sounded like she was waiting for you to text."

Hands shaking as I went to grab my phone, I mumbled, "Could be spam."

But as I pulled the notifications bar down and saw her name, adorned with a brief, About time you messaged me. I'd love to, my heart took off in leaps and bounds, a giddy smile working on my face.

"See?" Ri taunted in my ear.

"Shut up," I snapped back. But after opening the text and reading and re-reading her replied, I then turned to Erica once more. "What do I say back?"

· · ───── ∘☽༓☾∘ ───── · ·

May, 2019

A gentle knock sounded on my door, but I had heard her footsteps on the way up the stairwells... I already knew it wasn't Emma coming to apologise.

The raven-haired girl opened the door without my acknowledgement, quietly creeping into the room and toward my bed as though any loud noise could set me off.

She then gingerly joined me on the bed, shuffling over until our shoulders bumped each others' as she sat with me in silence for a moment.

Until I got used to her presence.

Until I had come back to the present and out of the past of what I felt was slipping away from me before I could catch it.

Until I broke the tension in the room with my own thoughts. "Is she okay?"

Erica nodded. "Left half an hour ago. I've been cleaning up the house before the other vampires get home and get the stupid idea to go licking the floor."

"Would be natural selection at its finest," I mumbled.

She couldn't help but breathe a laugh despite my solemn tone. But then she went serious again. "Is she still ignoring your texts?"

"As close as replying comes to it." Because I barely kept things from Ri these days, I unlocked my phone and threw it at her, my new message sitting in drafts as I wondered if I should send it. "She's always busy."

"To be fair," Erica countered, "She does sound quite busy."

I raised her an eyebrow that clearly told her I wasn't convinced. Because Emma always made time for me. And even on her busiest days, she'd at least climb into bed with me for the night.

But now she wouldn't even do that.

She wouldn't' even offer an excuse, like 'so much marking' or 'got my hands full'. It was just, 'Sorry. I can't.'

"As she was waiting for me to make the potion—after you two had your spat—I pushed her a little for you on the talking front."

"Yeah? How'd that go?" Though my tone already hinted at what I expected.

"She said she's got a friend in town."

My stomach already began to knot with worry.

Is it the ex?

The one she was going to have kids with?

Is she leaving me for him?

But Erica went on. "Another Terra Fairy."

My head snapped up, some form of life flooding back into me as hope began to brew that maybe I was overreacting... that my doom and gloom was misplaced and I needed more trust in Emma. "She's had them here before. Normally she's brought them to meet us."

"This one is a novice... and a little scared of vampires apparently."

The hope wavered as I heard the lack of conviction in Ri's tone... she didn't quite buy the story either.

"This fairy was supposed to join her today as she's been training her almost every day in fighting mades, but... Emma ended up alone. And biting more than she could chew."

Worry began to fester again as I wanted to go off at her again for trying to do things on her own. Then again... it's not like it was her intention if this other fairy was supposed to join her. "Why can't she tell me this? It's not that hard."

Ri shrugged. "I can't figure that one out either."

"What do I do? I feel like she's slipping away from me before my eyes and—"

"Hold on with as much strength as you can," Erica breathed back before placing her hand gently atop of mine. "Make sure she understands just how much she means to you. And show her in every way you can."

My lip pouted out as I tried to ride out the stinging sensation in my eyes. Once I was sure I wasn't going to break into a sobfest, I then said, "I think you were right. I should have waited."

Erica was already shaking her head though as the admission came from my mouth. And normally she'd be quick to jump on the I-told-you-so train when it was offered to her like this. "I saw how happy she was when you came home that night. Even when she left the next morning. It's got to be something else. I just... don't know what."

We stayed in my room until the sun left the sky outside, talking through ways to get Emma to talk, but never reaching a conclusion that didn't sound like we were pestering her or not trusting her. Though I knew one thing for sure... eventually I was bound to find out what was really at the root of her distance, and I knew I wasn't going to be thrilled about it.

So sorry this is late! I was feeling really ill again last week (better now thanks to the help of a doctor!) 

Then I really struggled to get this chapter right in terms of what I wanted to capture.

But I think I'm happy with this. Did not have the energy to proofread it, so if you noticed any errors please highlight them and I'll go back and fix it. :)