(Warning: References to abuse and tons of swearing. Also, if you're a fan of After I suggest that you DO NOT read this rant. You have been warned. *disappears in a cloud of smoke*)

LISTEN THE FUCK UP.

GRAB YOUR MOMMA, SISTER, GRANDMA AND TAKE A DAMN SEAT, BECAUSE THIS RANT IS LONG OVERDUE.

Repeat after me:

ABUSE IS NOT OKAY.

Louder:

ABUSE IS NOT GODDAMN OKAY!!!!!!

I don't give a single shit about whatever explanation y'all may have to justify the actions of an abuser. Not a single one. Because there is NO justification. I don't give a shit about whether they were orphaned as a kid, bullied at school, got their dick/vag caught in a zipper as a kid and needed surgery, WHATEVER. You are not OBLIGATED to remain with ANYONE WHO MAKES YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF. Do NOT put up with your abuser with the false hope that one day they will magically change for the better, because they won't. THEY NEVER WILL.

Thousands of women die every year because of domestic abuse. How come? Why so many?

Because society has normalised violence against women.

We are taught at a young age that "Timmy pulls your pigtails because he likes you" or "Bobby shoved you against the locker because he has a crush on you" or "He's only possessive because he cares." Crazy, huh? I always thought it was the opposite. I thought that if a boy liked me me, he'd show it by treating me like a queen. Not like an object, which can be exploited then thrown into a trashcan. Not someone he considers inferior to himself, but as an equal.

Women are obsessed with bad boys, namely the idea of them. In Teenfics, they are always described as this sort of brooding character with a traumatic childhood. All the girls fawn over him; he does drugs, skips school, breaks the rules, rides a motorcycle, kills your family, lights you on fire, does whatever the fuck he wants.

He's basically the alpha male, the one that no other man wants to mess with, and because of his spot on the social hierarchy, he gets whatever woman he wants. If he has his eyes on you, he will get you, and, once he does, that gives him all the right in the world to do whatever he wants with you. Because you are a woman, and a woman = sex toy/birth-giver.

That's why we have all these tweens writing books such as, "The Possessive Alpha", "The Bad Boy Stole My Panties", "Slave To The Bad Boy." Because, in their damaged mind, they believe that a boy, in order to be a suitable partner, has to be hypermasculine (placing emphasis on physical strength, aggression, and sexuality) and narcissistic.

Nobody ever cheers on the nice boy (not to be confused with a 'nice guy') in the story because he's one pansy-ass motherfucker, and no girl wants a guy like that. They prefer to get showered in superficial gifts, only to then get kicked in the teeth afterwards. They prefer to have an emotional tug-of-war with the guy and spend the majority of the time feeling shitty about themselves.

Then people wonder why so many women prefer to remain single.

Writers, the media, SOCIETY needs to stop romanticising abuse, because it is no LAUGHING MATTER. All these goddamn bad boy books, in which the male treats the female like garbage whilst claiming that he "loves her", is an INSULT to women who have truly experienced domestic abuse. Women who have really been sexually exploited, beaten, insulted, isolated, and even killed. Women who, throughout the entire ordeal, had their cries for help gone unnoticed, because they feared for their lives or were too ashamed to admit that their boyfriend/husband was abusing them.

Because that's another issue—people tend to blame the victim, not the abuser.

That's why OJ Simpson was aquitted from the murder of his wife Nicole Brown Simpson.

Aspiring to be in an abusive relationship is not normal. ASPIRING TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THE ONES IN THESE WATTPAD FANFICS AND TEENFICS IS NOT FUCKING NORMAL.

There is the grave misconception that abuse can only be physical. That unless you show up at the police station with a swollen eye, missing teeth, cuts and bruises all over your body, then you're not really being abused. But that's wrong. Because a lot of the abuse that happens behind closed doors IS NOT PHYSICAL. Yeah, that's right. Abuse comes in many different forms, and for the sake of teaching these fucking kids a lesson, I'll list them:

PHYSICAL ABUSE:

1. Pushing, pulling your hair, strangling, or kicking.

2. Throwing objects (books, pencils, vases) at someone.

3. Grabbing your face to make you look at them.

4. Grabbing you to prevent you from leaving/going someplace else.

5. Using weapons against you.

6. Grabbing your clothing.

7. Forcing you to have sex or perform sexual favours.

VERBAL ABUSE (The one which is shown the most often in Teenfics):

1. Demeaning you through name-calling.

2. Yelling and screaming at you.

3. Embarassing you in public on purpose.

4. Threatening to commit suicide if you leave them.

5. Destroying your property.

6. Spreading rumours about you.

7. Stalking you.

8. Blaming your actions for their abusive/controlling behaviour.

9. Accusing you of cheating and, more often then not, being jealous of your outside relationships.

10. Telling you what to wear/how to behave.

etc.

The list goes on, but I can't spend the entire chapter on types of abuse. Instead, I've attached a link where you can see all the different types (I'm giving credit to this site for the information in the lists).

If you haven't noticed, a lot of these points are found in your typical bad boy stories. Go on, tell me that this isn't fucking true. Tell me that what I've listed above (and what's in the link) is not abuse, and that it's alright to put up with it, that the main character is doing the right thing. Is physical abuse a big in teenfics written by kids? Beyond coercion into having sex, not really.

Otherwise, their works would be stamped with a big red MATURE.

A prime example of a fanfic/teenfic that romanticises domestic violence and abusive relationships is After, an insanely famous book that started off as a newbie One Direction fanfic on Wattpad and ended up with a publishing + movie deal. Why do so many people choose to waste their money and time on it? Our good friend AstraMeir thinks she has the answer. In her words:

"There are many possible reasons but I know a few of them -

1. After is ONLY famous because it's a fanfic of One Direction and the girls don't give a fuck about Tessa. They only read it because of Harry fucking Styles.

2. How can they hate it? Girls LOVE bad boys... Which sounds like bullshit because those girls are so immature but yeah. That's also the reason why they read After and love it.

3. After has sex. Lots of it. Girls (even 11-13 years old) enjoy that.

4. Whatever Harry says is automatically the next big and best thing they have ever read in the history of all things. Just because he seems to be a cool guy.

5. If a bad boy has a rough sad past. IT'S GAME OVER. All the girls are automatically all over him. Bottom line is, there isn't any valid reason (at least something which makes sense). One thing that's for sure is that After came as something quite different in the time when 1D fanfics took over wattpad.

And maybe that's why they think After is amazing."

Now this chapter isn't about bashing After. The message I'm trying to convey isn't "let's all boycott After and hunt down the author". So, if you don't mind, take your torches and pitchforks elsewhere, maybe to that cheerleading rally at the nearby highschool, since, you know, all cheerleaders are dumb sluts and deserve to be skinned alive.

I'm not even remotely shocked at the fact that After managed to crawl out of the murky depths of Wattpad's fanfiction genre and onto the bookshelves. Publishing houses have a single goal: make as much money as possible, in any way possible. Who cares if they're exploiting the sexuality of teenage girls, while, simultaneously, condemning them for that same sexuality? Who cares if they're perpetuating rape culture and offensive stereotypes about women? Who cares if the writing is mediocre, the plot is inexistent, and the characters are as life-like as cardboard cut-outs?

Those who enjoy/write/publish these stories don't.

That is why 50 Shades of Grey and After came out when they did, in the 21st century. People are so messed up, they don't have a clue about how to differentiate between an abusive/toxic relationship and an enriching/non-abusive one.

Until it's too late.

-:-

Hello. This is my first 'serious' rant, so I didn't really think it was appropriate to take the discussed themes lightly. I hope my message came across loud and clear—please, if you find yourself in an abusive relationship, don't wait until it's too late to take action, for your own sake. Your well-being > Abuser's well-being.

I also hope that the commentary has given anyone who thought it would be a good idea to write an abusive relationship without proper research, a run for their money. Remember to check the external link for more info.

🍟🍟🍟

Is there something that you're itching to complain about, but have the good sense not to do so on a public forum? I can do it for you! Feel free to PM me with the topic you want me to rant about, and I won't think twice before adding it here. I'll be waiting!