CHAPTER ONE

The smoke was so thick he couldn't breathe. He sat up in his bed and struggled to make sense of what was happening. He stood, covered his mouth and nose with a t-shirt, and hurried to the door. The handle was hot. He didn't care. He had to get out of there and try to warn his parents.

It was the middle of the night. They had gotten home only two hours earlier after a long night of slaying. He needed to make sure they woke up and got out of the house.

The hallway seemed impossibly long as he stepped into it. Their door was several feet away. He had to reach them. "Mom! Dad!" He shouted as he ran down the hall, although the words were muffled through his t-shirt. He opened their bedroom door and saw his mother, fast asleep. He hurried to her side and shook her awake.

"Mom! Mom, wake up! The house is on fire!" He shouted.

His mother was instantly alert at those words. She stood up and grabbed her son's hand. "Where's your father?" She asked him.

"I don't know," he replied. He was getting scared now. What if his father had realized the house was on fire and had gotten hurt?

"It's okay, honey. We'll find him. Come on, let's get downstairs." She led the way toward the front door. There was still no sign of his father, and flames had engulfed the majority of the house.

"Take this," his mother said, putting a silver locket shaped like a heart around his neck. "It will keep you safe. Wait outside, and don't come back in here, no matter what. Call for help."

"Mom, no! We can't split up," he protested.

"I have to find your father. You'll be safe outside. Just go." She kissed him and opened the front door.

He obeyed because he had no choice. He was only nine years old. There wasn't much he could do about the situation. He wished Aideen was there. She would know what to do. She played with fire all the time and could control it.

As if in response to his thoughts, Benny Phillips and his daughter, Aideen, arrived at that moment. Benny grabbed him and asked, "Are your mom and dad still inside?"

He nodded. "Mom went back in to find Dad," he replied. "Help them. Please, Benny."

"Stay here. The firefighters are on their way, and I'll try and get your parents out in the meantime. I'll be back," Benny said. "And Deenie, don't you dare follow me. This fire's too out of control. It's not safe."

Aideen pouted at her father and mumbled, "I can handle it," but she didn't fight him. She knew if she went into the house, her friend would follow, and that would be too dangerous. She might not burn, but he would.

Benny had barely entered the house when the roof caved in. "Dad!" Aideen screamed. She ran toward him. Benny was still near the door. Aideen pulled him back out. She wanted to run inside, but she knew she could not save her friend's parents. Even if she controlled the flames, there was too much debris in the way now.

He screamed. His parents were still in there, and the roof had fallen on top of them. Everything burned. The house was unstable and would probably not survive. He tried to run inside, but Aideen grabbed him.

"You'll die," she said. Sounding very much like her father, she added, "Don't you dare."

"They're dying, Deenie," he sobbed. "They're dying! I have to save them!"

Aideen sobbed with him and hugged him. Benny wrapped the children in his arms as firefighters arrived and tried to put out the flames.

His mother's last scream echoed through the night as the rest of the house collapsed.

~*~

Arnie Gelman was stunned when he woke up in a comfortable bed. There was no smoke. There were no screams. He was not nine years old, but was in fact nearly seventeen. There was no chaos. There was only the annoyed yet somewhat concerned face of Lindsey Berlin, his foster sister.

"Are you okay, Pest?" She asked affectionately. "You looked pretty freaked out."

"Nightmares," he replied. "What time is it and why are you in my room?"

"It's seven o'clock in the morning, and it's the first day of school."

"So?" He asked.

"So, it's a bad idea to cut class this early into the school year."

"I don't feel like going today," Arnie replied with a shrug.

"Too bad, because Deenie's already here."

Arnie cursed. "Fine," he mumbled. He stood up and slipped his feet into a pair of Cookie Monster slippers. He walked downstairs and was immediately greeted by an enthusiastic hug from Gracie, the youngest Berlin at eight years old. She had known Arnie for her entire life and adored him as if he was her biological brother. Though he had lived with several foster families over the years, shuffled back and forth between them as the system tended to do, the Berlins had recently finally been granted permanent custody of him.

"Hey, Sleepy Head," Carly, his foster mother, greeted him. "I made your favorite."

Seeing the pancakes and chocolate cereal on the table along with hot cocoa, Arnie kissed her cheek and said, "You are a Goddess!" Spotting Aideen sitting next to Roger, his oldest foster brother, he added, "Speaking of Goddesses, wow... Nice outfit, Deenie."

Aideen was decked out in an outfit that would have been more appropriate in a club than on the first day of class, and she looked fantastic. Her normally long blonde hair was streaked with purple and blue, and she wore a plaid skirt held together by safety pins, a tight white t-shirt bearing a skull and crossbones across the chest, and her trademark combat boots. She also wore fishnet stockings.

"Thanks," Aideen replied. She flashed him a big smile before getting up and taking him away from the breakfast table. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"Everything, but how are you?" Arnie replied. He sighed before adding, "I don't want to go today."

"You never cut the first day."

"What's the point of going, Deenie?"

"How about your love of knowing what you're missing?"

"Let me miss it. Screw Bishop. Screw everything."

"Arn..." Aideen began gently.

"Look, school was Spencer's thing, and it's going to be really weird without him, okay?"

Aideen nodded. "I thought it might be that."

"It's not just that. It's everything. I'm having the dreams again. I hate September."

"More flashbacks? I'm sorry, Arn..."

"I'm having more than usual. I just lost one of my best friends in the world. I shouldn't have to watch my parents die over and over again on top of it."

"No, you shouldn't." Aideen hugged him. "Look, we'll try and get through the day, but if you need a break, we can cut out later."

"Whatever. I don't care." He paused. "Sorry. That was bitchy."

"Slayers aren't morning people. I understand. Besides, you're dealing with a lot right now. I can let a little bit of bitchiness go."

"You're the best, Deenie."

"I know." She grinned at him. "Go eat breakfast before Will eats it for you."

"I swear, that boy eats like he has a tapeworm."

"He's ten. You were the same way at his age. Hell, you still eat like that sometimes."

Arnie laughed. "Alright, that's true enough."

"Where's Harry today?"

"It's Harry. He's probably studying."

"On the first day, before classes have even started?"

"You know how Harry is. He's like Cierra on crack. That kid never stops reading. And he's only twelve."

Tommy Berlin entered the room Aideen and Arnie were in and smiled at them. "Morning guys. It's nice to see you here so early, Aideen," he said. "How's my favorite honorary adopted daughter?"

"I'm good," Aideen replied. "How's work lately?"

"Fantastic. I'm about ready to finish my latest book." Tommy wrote mystery novels professionally.

"That's awesome! Good luck."

"Thanks, sweetie."

"Who done it?" Arnie asked.

"I'll never tell."

"You never do," Arnie replied with a pout.

"Exactly. You should know better than to ask. I haven't even told Carly. You'll have to wait and read it like everyone else."

"That's so unfair," Arnie protested.

"Come on, guys," Carly called. "Hurry up and eat or you're going to be late."

"And the problem with that would be...?" Arnie mumbled.

"What was that?" Carly asked.

"I said we'll be right there."

When Arnie, Aideen, and Tommy sat down at the table, Lindsey smiled. "I can't believe my little pest is growing up," she said. "You'll be leaving Bishop soon."

"Yep... Just one more year. In ten months, I won't have to set foot in that place ever again."

"Oh please," Will said between bites of his pancakes. "Like you ever go anyway." He pouted at his father. "I don't see why we have to go to school when Arnie doesn't. How come we got to be smart and he can be dumb?"

"Have to be, not got," Tommy corrected him automatically.

"Arnie isn't dumb," Roger said. "He just doesn't always go to his classes, but he knows the work and can pass the tests."

"But how come we can't skip class like he does?" Will demanded.

"Because you can't modify memories and make them think you were there," Lindsey teased him. "Besides, you're the dummy, dummy. You need all the education you can get."

"Lindsey, don't say things like that to your brother," Carly said. "You're not dumb, Will. No one in this house is a dummy."

"Sorry, Mom," Lindsey replied.

"How's college going?" Aideen asked her.

"Oh, it's great! It's only the second week of classes, but I've already learned a lot and decided which clubs to get involved with. I might even join a sorority."

"A sorority, huh? Maybe I should come visit you on campus," Roger joked.

"I don't know why you didn't go to college, Roger. You would have been a great frat boy."

"I didn't go to college because I already had a job," Roger replied with a shrug.

"The Unit has flexible hours. You could have gotten an education." Lindsey paused. "It's not too late, you know. You're only twenty. You could totally go back to school."

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not interested in college, and the Unit keeps me pretty busy."

"I wanna work for the Unit, too," Will said. "That would be so cool!"

"As what? You don't have any psychic abilities, you dork," Roger replied.

"I can still be a cop."

"Yeah, a mortal cop, maybe," Lindsey said. "I mean, you are awfully fond of donuts."

"Mom, they're being mean to me," Will objected.

"Come on, guys," Carly said. "Stop teasing your brother. He's just a late bloomer. I'm sure he has psychic gifts just like the rest of us."

"Statistically, it's likely," Harry said as he walked into the kitchen with his nose in a book. "Psychic gifts tend to run in families."

"I bet you're a future Cleric, Harry," Roger said, ruffling his younger brother's hair affectionately.

"He's way more interesting than a Cleric," Aideen said with a laugh.

Clerics... Like Laurence... Laurence, who was really Ezekiel, who murdered Spencer, Arnie thought. Aideen seemed to sense his train of thought as she squeezed his hand, trying to keep him calm.

"Are you gonna work for the Unit, too, Lindsey?" Gracie asked.

"I don't plan on it," Lindsey replied. "I'm going to be a social worker, not a cop, but I guess I could freelance."

Arnie rolled his eyes. "I don't know why the hell you want to be a social worker. It's not a happy job," he said.

"I want to help kids," Lindsey explained.

"Then don't be a social worker. They're no help."

Lindsey frowned at him. "Not all social workers are creeps, Arnie."

"Because of a social worker who was supposed to help me, I was moved around from house to house, family to family, most of them either mortal or just downright evil. You guys were the only decent family he ever set me up with, and think about how hard you had to work to keep me with you. He kept sending me to other families. I've been with you guys on and off since I was put into the system, and it only became permanent a couple of months ago. Don't you see an issue with that?"

"So he was a creep, but I won't be. That's why I want to do it, Pest. I want to help kids that no one else understands."

"That's noble of you, but you'll end up just like them. They're all the same, Lindsey. They start out wanting to help, but after seeing all those kids and all of the horrible things they went through that landed them in the system, the social workers either have to shut their emotions out and stop caring or risk going insane, so they stop caring and then the kids pay the price."

"Arnie," Carly said gently, "I know you've been through a lot, but you can't really think that Lindsey is going to do that."

"Never mind," Arnie replied. "I'm sorry, Lindsey. I get cranky when I don't sleep."

"Truer words have never been spoken," Aideen teased him, trying to lighten the mood. She hated seeing Arnie so upset.

"Come on, Deenie. Let's get to school."

"Um... Arnie, you're still in your pajamas," she pointed out.

"Your point?" He asked.

"I think you should at least ditch the slippers."

Arnie blushed. "I forgot I had those on. Okay, fine, I'll go get ready. I'll be back in a couple of minutes." Rushing upstairs, Arnie quickly stripped off his clothing and jumped in the shower. He let the water scald his flesh, not caring and barely even feeling the pain.

He took care in the ritual of shampooing his shoulder length brown hair, then left conditioner in while he rinsed the rest of his body. Showering normally centered Arnie, but today, all he wanted to do was crawl back into bed and pretend he didn't exist.

His mother's voice echoed through his mind, saying soothing words he could not quite hear. It was a distant memory, one of many. They were all he had left of her now.

Tears streamed down Arnie's cheeks. His flesh began to ache from the hot water beating against him, and his head hurt. Letting the water wash away his tears, Arnie forced himself to finish showering.

When he was done, Arnie towel dried his hair and wrapped a navy blue bathrobe around his body. He headed back toward his bedroom and dressed quickly in jeans and a T-shirt. Barely taking the time to pull on socks, he headed back downstairs.

"What took you so long?" Aideen asked, unable to hide the concern in her voice.

"What do you mean?" Arnie asked.

"You're a slayer, Arnie. That means you're trained to shower and get dressed in under five minutes, and you were gone for nearly fifteen."

"I sort of zoned out," He admitted as he put his sneakers on.

She touched his cheek, which caused him to wince because it stung. "Your skin's all red," Aideen informed him.

"It'll fade," Arnie replied with a shrug. "Let's go before we're really late. As it is, I'm going to need to borrow a car to get us there on time."

"You know, if you got your license, you would be able to have your own car," Aideen pointed out.

"Paperwork and slayers are a bad combination. It proves you exist," he replied. He practically dragged her out of the house.

"Stubborn," she said.

"Not as stubborn as you," Arnie pointed out.

"Few people are." She grinned at him. "Alright, Arnie... Work your magick and get us to Bishop."

~*~

Jade Collins had not truly slept in weeks, so waking up in time for class was not a problem. Finding a reason to bother going, however, was proving to be difficult.

"Come on, Jade," Bethany Ashford said. "You have to go back eventually."

"Says who? I have a job," Jade replied. "Why do I need to finish high school? It's pointless."

"You're smarter than that. I know you don't want to drop out."

"Look, Beth, I don't feel up to going today."

"You're never going to feel up to it until you've done it. You have to get back on the horse, Jade."

"I didn't fall off of a horse, Beth. I watched my boyfriend die because of a lunatic who also nearly killed me. It's a little different, and going to school has nothing to do with it."

"The last time you were in school, Spencer was still alive, and don't tell me that's not why you don't want to be bothered. Lying to an empath is pointless."

"Butt out, Bethany," Jade said sharply.

"Snapping at me won't change anything," Beth replied, trying to keep the hurt out of her voice. She had done nothing but try to be there for Jade since Spencer Connelly, her boyfriend, had been killed a few weeks earlier, and until that moment, she had thought it was helping. Apparently, she had been wrong.

Jade took a deep breath. She absentmindedly tucked a strand of her chin-length black hair behind her left ear. The jade green eyes she had been named for filled with tears. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean that."

"I know," Beth replied, immediately hugging her best friend. "It's alright."

"No it's not. You didn't do anything to deserve getting snapped at. You're not a punching bag. I'm just... I'm on edge, but that's no excuse."

"Jade, it's fine, really," Beth insisted.

"I guess I should get dressed, huh?"

"That would be a good idea. Are you going to have Clarissa watch Joey today?"

"No, I'm going to keep a body home with him," Jade replied

"Sweetie, I know he's your son, but he is safe with Clarissa. The only time you let him out of your sight lately is when you ask me to watch him. I think you should focus on class and just let her handle him for a little while."

"He gets scared when I'm not around."

"You leave him with me."

"You're like a second mother to him, Beth. He's crazy about you."

"He's crazy about Clarissa, too."

Jade sighed. "He's safer with you. You're a warrior Goddess."

"I'm also an out of control empath, and I still can't control which side of me comes out. Face it, Jade... As an empath, I'm pretty useless in a fight. If Joey is in some sort of danger, Clarissa is a trained slayer who can protect him."

"I haven't even asked her..."

"You never have to. She works from home, and she likes the company while Aideen and Courtney are at school."

"I feel like I'm taking advantage of her."

"You pay her, and she offered."

"Offered? When?" Jade asked in confusion.

"She called yesterday," Beth replied.

Jade shook her head. "Alright, fine," she said. "I'll call her and see if she still wants to watch him. You're right. I've become neurotically overprotective of Joey and I need to back off a little."

"I never said that," Beth replied awkwardly.

"You didn't have to. You thought it."

Beth pouted. "No fair reading my thoughts."

"No fair feeling my emotions," Jade retorted.

Beth laughed. "Touché," she said. "I hope I didn't offend you?"

"You're too nice to offend me, even in your thoughts. Besides, you made a good point. I need an extra voice of reason sometimes and it used to be Spencer." She tried to keep the pain out of her voice as she said his name and failed.

Beth offered her another hug before standing up. "I'll give you some privacy so you can get ready, and don't worry about breakfast. Randy's on it."

"Randy's here?" Jade asked in surprise. She hadn't even sensed him.

"He thought we might need some help this morning." Beth shrugged. "I didn't think you'd mind."

"I don't mind as long as you don't. He's your ex."

"We're still friends, so I don't mind. Besides, he's keeping Joey occupied."

"I feel so strange leaving him with Clarissa..."

"He'll be fine, Jade."

"I know, I know," Jade said with a sigh.

"Get ready. I expect to see you in the dining room in ten minutes."

"Yes, Mom," Jade replied, rolling her eyes. As Beth closed the door behind herself, Jade sighed.

"You can do this," she told herself. "It's just school." She absentmindedly played the tape in her stereo and regretted it immediately.

"This is my apology. To reference astrology, Mercury was in retrograde, and I'm so sorry Jade," Spencer's voice sang. "I didn't mean to leave. I hope you can believe, for I would never deceive, and I pray I'll receive your forgiveness, my dear. I am waiting here for a chance to show what I'm sure you know. And oh, my Jade, I wish I could have stayed and held you in my arms, always safe from harm."

She felt tears in her eyes as the song continued to play. Spencer had written the song for her not long before his death. She had looped it so often in the seemingly endless nights since just to hear his voice, and to hear his ironic words. Although the song was written after they had the only serious fight they'd ever gotten into, the lyrics about wishing he could have stayed with her haunted her now.

"You are my heart's desire, the one that I admire. Your love lifted me high. You are truly my destiny come true. I will always love you. My passion and my muse, you are the one I choose. You are so brave. I'm lucky you gave your heart to me. You're a part of me. And oh, my Jade, I wish I could have stayed and held you in my arms, always safe from harm. And oh, my Jade, you will always stay inside of my soul. You make me whole. And I love you. You know that's true. I will always be here. You are the one I hold dear. And oh, my Jade, I wish I could have stayed and held you in my arms, always safe from harm. And now, my Jade, I will always stay and hold you in my arms, forever safe from harm."

"I miss you," Jade whispered, not bothering to wipe away the tears that continued to stream down her cheeks. She shook her head and forced herself not to listen to the song over and over again. Curling up catatonic in bed was not an option today. She suspected that Beth would order Randy to kidnap her and drag her to school against her will if she tried. Although Randy was a year younger than she was, he was also a slayer and a jock, and he was much stronger than Jade physically. She wouldn't stand much of a chance unless she hexed him, and in the state of mind she was in, Randy might blow up. She may not be happy with the situation, but she liked Randy enough not to kill him, and she suspected that Beth would morph into her warrior self if Randy died in front of her again.

The threat of timid Beth kicking her butt was enough to make Jade crack a smile and snap back into awareness. She quickly headed for the shower, hoping she could remember how to go through the motions.

She excelled at going through the motions. All she did lately was fake it. She wasn't really there, but she couldn't let everyone else know that. The Silver Society knew, of course, but they didn't push her. It was Alex's concern more than anyone else's that made Jade feel guilty. He was her soul's father, and although he usually didn't go into soul mode, he had been unable to hide his paternal concern for her since Spencer's death. He checked on her daily, and she saw the pain she was causing him on his face. She tried so hard to reassure him that she was fine, but he knew better. It wasn't fair... How was she supposed to fake it when all of her friends were psychic?

Beth was being wonderful, but it had actually been Aideen who helped Jade the most. Being a slayer, Aideen understood grief and knew when to bring it up and when to distract Jade from it. She had liked Aideen since the day she joined the Silver Society, but over the past few weeks, they had grown even closer. Aideen split most of her time between Jade and Arnie, and it seemed to be helping her to cope with her own grief. She'd been close to Spencer ever since they were children.

Jade realized that she was dressed and towel drying her hair. She had gone on autopilot again, going through the motions, pretending to be alive even though she felt dead inside. That was becoming a disturbingly frequent occurrence.

Cursing softly, she took a deep breath and headed downstairs. "Hey, Jade!" Randy Schwartz greeted her far too cheerfully. Clearly, he and Beth had been discussing her before she'd come into the room.

"Hi," Jade mumbled.

"Morning, Mama," Joey said, wrapping her in a tight hug.

"Hey, Baby," Jade replied, forcing the perkiness she reserved exclusively for her son. She lifted him up in her arms and kissed his cheek.

"You go Bisup?" Joey asked.

Jade smiled in spite of her mood. Joey had that effect on her. "Yes, Baby, I'm going to Bishop today. School's starting. Do you mind staying with Clarissa?"

"No. Miss Issa."

Again, she smiled. Joey had an abnormally large vocabulary for a toddler, and he could actually say Clarissa's name when he tried, but he usually resorted to calling her Issa.

"So, did you call her?" Beth asked.

"No, but you're right. I know she won't mind, especially since she offered," Jade replied.

"I'm sure he'll be safe there," Randy said. "There's no need to worry about him."

"So, what sports is our resident jock going out for this year?" Jade asked, desperate to change the subject and not being subtle about it. She couldn't care less about sports, and Randy knew that.

"Oh, the usual," he replied. "Track, basketball, baseball, and football, of course. Oh, and wrestling, too. Coach would have my head on a platter if I didn't rejoin the team this year."

"And yet, you're not a body splitter," Beth said in wonder. "Seriously, I don't know how you find the time or the energy, Randy."

"Haven't you seen the way he eats?" Jade asked. Randy usually ate several meals in one sitting in addition to snacking throughout the day, and he always seemed to be hungry for more.

"I'm a growing boy," Randy replied, blushing. "I'm only fifteen."

"At least it's all muscle," Beth said, and then she blushed, too. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded... It's just... You're very... well-toned is all..." She hid her face behind her hands.

"Beth turn wed!" Joey exclaimed in delight.

Jade laughed. Perhaps she could survive the day after all, if she could just manage to remember how to breathe. She would find out soon enough. It was time to leave.

As the four of them walked out the door, Jade mumbled, "Here we go again..."