Chapter 3

Everyone was done with meeting the newly weds and ravishing the food, now the crowd was proceeding towards the exit. It was time for Rukhsati. The atmosphere shifted and a different kind of heaviness was dragging all of us down. Was it the exhaustion of all the hectic days coming back to us? or was it the sadness of the fact that Aapa was leaving us? No matter how much I tried to think of it as a new beginning for both of them as a couple, her leaving was draining me from within. I have lived with Aapa all my life, she has been my rock, my bully, my biggest supporter and cheerleader, she has been my everything and to let her go is the hardest thing that I am about to do today.

I approach the stage as Yusuf bhai is introducing all of his friends to Aapa.
"Where is Raza Sahab?"
He asked one of his friends.

"He is getting the Car ready. It's time for Rukhsati."
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      
The moment the word Rukhsati reached Aapa's ears, she looked horrified. the feeling was sinking in, leaving has never been easy, be it a habit, people, or your belongings, leaving has always been one of hardest feelings to endure. We both shared the pained look as I helped her get down from the stage towards our family. Amma and Abba were deep in conversation with Yusuf Bhai's parents. Aapa took small steps towards Amma and both of them broke down in tears. No one was sober, everyone was crying their eyes out. Abba hugged her and everyone started leaving. Half of the guests were gone, and the rest of them, the close ones, were waiting for rukhsati to be done, so that they could leave. Omar Bhai was trying to calm Abba down, he has always been the strong one. Aapa's rukhsati was one of the hardest things for all of us. She has been the life of the family, and nothing will change that.

Their car arrived, and Yusuf bhai hugged Abba and he sobbed in his arms and I broke down. It is one thing to cry but to see your father sob, to see him cry and break down completely is a whole different thing. In that moment something shifted and shattered within me. Aapa sat in the car and we bid our goodbyes. As everyone left the venue, we bid farewell to all the relatives and left. The tears weren't stopping, it was getting harder to breathe, but I had to drive everyone back home so I controlled my emotions and helped Amma and Abba get settled in the car. The drive felt longer than usual, all I wanted to do was hold Aapa longer in my embrace but it would have broken both of us.

"Maryam are you alright?"

Omar bhai asked me from the passenger seat. I was so occupied in my thoughts that I didn't even realize that we were in our building's parking lot and I was staring into nothingness. Amma and Abba had already left. The dam gate opened and the tears started rolling down my cheeks.

"Maryam, it's going to be alright. we are here, everyone is here, and we will visit Zainab tomorrow for Walima right?
it's okay.. "

He kept rubbing my back as I cried in his embrace.

Aapa getting married made a hole in my heart, deep enough for me to be lost in the darkness. All my life I have lived under her light, now it was hard to look beyond this darkness within me. she was the one who provided me with the confidence that I have carried along with me throughout my school and college life, but to think she won't be there constantly guiding me, helping me and correcting my mistake every now and then feels wrong.

My phone started ringing, bringing me back from my trance. It was Amma.

We reached home and the dumpster of a living room was calling out to me to be cleaned and organized. The distraction helped me get back on track. After hours of cleaning and putting things away I was finally done with the job. I checked my phone,
and there was a message from Aapa.

"Reached home, I am so nervous. There are so many people here...
How to be a shy bride Maryam? should have definitely listened to Amma..
anyways Gotta go. AllahHafiz

p.s don't cry too much okay?"

I smiled and texted her "All the best '' and passed out. Indeed exhaustion is the key to the best sleep in the world.

"Maryam, wake up! It's 11:30 in the morning! Wake up! There are so many guests in the house, please wake up!"

All I heard was " 11:30, guests, people." they can handle themselves for a while, I'll sleep.

"Maryam beta even Phuppo is here with Faisal, I need your help Get UP! UTHOOOOO"

Wait.. did she just say, phuppo? Faisal? That means 'PRINCESS'

I woke up and rushed to the bathroom. I cleaned up and changed and went straight to the kitchen.

"Finally you are up, and good that you changed, I didn't want more people to go on commenting on my daughters appearance, I have had enough of their meaningless comments.

"Take these snacks outside and check if your Abba needs something, also check if his clothes are ironed properly or not, I'll sit with the guests."

Something has changed.

"Your tea is ready, drink it before it gets cold." She smiled at me.

I took the snacks and said Salaam to everyone and greeted them with a full blown smile. After completing every single task assigned I confined myself in my room. Something has drastically changed. Amma has never talked like this before. She has always been this calm and collected personality, but today it felt like she was protective over me, she was trying to protect me from all of their comments. It felt different. It was as if she took it from where Aapa left it. She is protecting me the way Aapa did. It felt weird, but at the same time I felt safe.

The Walima was scheduled at around 7:30 pm post Maghrib Namaz.

I had a lot of time to get ready. I had my tea and sat down to check my emails. It has been a long time since I have done some commission work. I am currently learning pottery and ceramics. I am always intrigued by different art forms that sometimes it's impossible to not mix two mediums and create an art piece. I have been working on commission for 2 years now. I have done paintings for corporate offices, painted Mural for a cafe and some other commission work here and there. Freelancing your way through this corporate slave era is a whole different struggle, but when I think about it, I don't want to work a lot, I do it so I don't feel like a burden to my parents, so that I can earn enough to spend on my family and myself. I have no interest in being the one who earns a living. This might sound absurd and the feminist population might disagree with me but I really don't care. We both are earning for different causes. Some of you want equal opportunities and some of you just want to compete with men. I just want to live in peace and afford my books and art supplies.

The guests left a huge pile of dishes for me to wash. I completed the house chores and washed up well and read my daily prayers and did my recitation of the Quran.

We all got dressed for walima, I helped Amma drape her Hijab and she helped me with mine. I was wearing a light mauve full sleeve dress with dark mauve chiffon Hijab with a heavy embroidered dupatta on my shoulder. Some matching bangles and my favorite silver pariband (bracelet)  I paired all of my accessories with my outfit. By the time we all got ready it was already 7:00 pm. We left the house and reached the venue. It was the same venue as yesterday, but everything was different. The decoration changed, the eating arrangement was done in the courtyard and the stage was decorated with beautiful lights and flowers. Everyone was already there. Yusuf Bhai and Aapa were the only ones who arrived late. We all waited by our designated seating arrangements giving the newly weds their sweet little time to walk till the stage and get comfortable. Aapa was wearing a soft gold heavy embroidered full sleeve dress with the veil on her head. She was wearing a nice traditional choker with minimal jewelry, along with hands full of pretty bangles. she was looking elegant and her face was glowing with happiness and glee. Yusuf bhai is whispering something to her and she blushed a deep crimson red. Watching them so happy together made me feel better, the protective sister's personality was taking a step back and the fun Maryam was back in action.

I was waiting for Amma to give me a signal and I would rush to Aapa in a jiffy. Aapa called me to come over and I ran towards her.

"Masha'Allah, someone is looking gorgeous today."
she commented.

Assalamualaikum Aapa, you are looking so pretty.
Assalamualaikum Yusuf Bhai. All well?"

I chirped as I greeted both of them.

"Walekumassalaam Maryam.
Alhumdullilah we are all good." 

"I have been meaning to introduce you to all my friends and colleagues. you must be familiar with some of them, with regards to the surprise that you planned but again I wanted everyone to meet you. "
Yusuf Bhai was a very well spoken man. He was 6 '1 with a good build, Aapa was around 5' 7 making them a good pair. Currently his business is set in the UK. When we got their proposal, everyone was very dicey about this arrangement, for after marriage Aapa would have to move, but as everyone got to know them more, it became clear that they were genuinely good people, after that it was a smooth sail.

"Sure"

Yusuf bhai called his friends. There were around 10 guys. It was hard enough to find one of them from social media and plan the entire surprise. It wasn't much planning but when you are occupied with the wedding preparations, everything seems like a big task.

"Guys this is Maryam and Maryam these are my friends."

I smiled at everyone until I saw him. He stood tall with broad shoulders, wearing a black sherwani with beads embroidered. He looked so different yet still the same. His eyes were sparkling with recognition. I was surprised to find him here like this all over again. Everything was coming back to me, all the time we had spent together, his calm demeanor, all the memories were making their way back to my heart. 

"And This is Raza Sahab."

Raza Sahab, it made me question their relation for he is so much younger than Yusuf Bhai then how come he is getting different respect. The confusion was evident on my face so everyone chuckled.

"I know he looks young but he is an old soul, far more mature than any of us. Ever since then we have started calling him Raza Sahab."

He lowered his head and gave me a sheepish smile. His smile. Now when I think about it, I remember that smile. He looks just the same. Nothing has changed. His demeanor, his stance, nothing.

He smiled at me and placed his hand on his heart.

"Assalamualaikum Maryam."

This feels like a dream.

"Walekumassalam Mustafa."