"Son: Mom, Dad, I'm gay."

Mom: ...

Dad: ...

Mom: Don't you fucking do it.

Dad: ...

Mom: Don't. You. Fucking. Do. It.

Dad: Hi Gay, I'm Dad."

-Anonymous

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Warning: Language / Innuendos. This OC is a perv with no shame.

Side note in case anyone wants to know: at 192 pages in my original story rough draft. :')

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Dear Haku,

Please see the attached fanart I drew of Zabuza and Mei. As a fellow shipper I feel it is my obligation to share with you such treasured things. I have already hung up your own fanart of the two on my fridge, and I must say I'm very proud of you, my dear!

On a side note, I'm glad that you two are being welcomed back to Kirigakure. I really hope you enjoy your new life there. Please be sure to send me some Kiri exclusive food! I'll send you more Opera cake once you give me a permanent address to send these letters to.

I'll keep this brief since I know you and Zabuza are busy with the move. Keep up that smile, honey.

With love,

Sakura

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Dear Gaara,

Will you pretty please take me sand surfing when I come to Suna? Pretty please with a cherry on top. And whip cream. And chocolate.

Also! I drew a picture of the two of us. Since we're now besties, we obviously need pictures of one another. This one is for you to keep, and I'll keep another one at my place.

No, I haven't had Suna-Buns before, but I'm always happy to try new things. Send some my way, okay?

How's the weather today? Did it rain again? Do you like to go spelunking? Let's have dinner next time we meet.

Lots of love,

Sakura

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Dear Duck-Butt,

You won't be getting these letters for like three years, I know. But I thought you might enjoy staying in the loop, so I'll write to you when I can and store it in a scroll to give to you next time we meet.

Naruto's sad you're gone. He misses you. I may be his best friend, but you're still like a brother to him. Kakashi bemoans the fact that the only sane person on the team is gone. I miss ya too, I guess.

I cleaned up your home, and I saw the papers you left for me. Don't worry, I'll take care of it.

Naruto and I recorded Kakashi's reaction when I told him we would be partnered forever and ever. I drew a picture on the back of his face. You were right, he did go into the Thousand Yard Stare! It was pretty funny.

Hope you're having fun,

Sakura

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Life without Sasuke wasn't terrible. The biggest downer (aside from obviously losing a friend for a few years) was that Naruto was pretty sad he wasn't able to convince Sasuke to go back.

Ah, that was actually worth mentioning.

Sasuke didn't try to kill Naruto. In fact, Sasuke didn't use the Chidori at all against Naruto. Sure they hammered away at one another, but all of Naruto's injuries were put-down-focus rather than kill-focus. Sasuke knew it would take quite the beat down to make Naruto fall unconscious, so he didn't hold back much, but he refused to honestly try to kill Naruto.

Naruto said that Sasuke was more upset that Naruto wasn't more understanding like me, actually! He said that going to Orochimaru was something he had to right now, but it didn't mean he was outright abandoning Naruto and me—which was what Naruto accused him of doing—and that in time we would all be reunited. After he killed his brother, of course.

Then Naruto got all huffy and pissy, and the two fought with Sasuke coming out as the victor.

Gotta admit I felt a little proud of how well that turned out. The fact that Sasuke didn't try to kill his best friend felt pretty damn swell. The fact that I somehow was the reason for it? Even better.

Who knows? Maybe we'd get a happy ending.

Returning to the point.

Naruto was bummed about Sasuke, but he didn't let it keep him down. He trusted me when I said we would get a chance to bring him back home.

Kakashi took the news surprisingly well (then again we told him after the whole partnership ordeal, so he was probably still in shock).

And life went on.

It was actually about a week after the whole ordeal before I got sent out on my very first mission with Kakashi as my partner. It was a minor thing—nothing major or all too difficult—but Tsunade wanted us to start small before giving us the big stuff. Likely because she was under the impression that we both needed practice working side by side, and Kakashi had to get used to not having anyone else around to provide a buffer between us.

Silly man.

So we were sent out on a mission to retrieve a pet.

Not just any pet, though, because Team 7 had a lovely curse called Everything-C-And-Above-Turns-Into-An-S. It was great fun, of course.

This particular mission happened to be the mission for Legend of the Stone of Gelel or the second Naruto movie.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

After only a day of tracking we found the missing pet. A ferret with the softest fur and the cutest wittle nose. It had been running about in a small forest near the outskirts of the Land of Fire. Kakashi was able to hunt it down with ease and he explained his process of tracking to me while he did so.

With Jōnin ease he grabbed the little creature as it darted out from underneath the trees, easily picking it up by the scruff and holding it away from his face so it wouldn't scratch him. I hopped down from my perch in the tree tops and applauded him. "Man, why didn't you ever help us with Tora? Would have taken half the time."

Kakashi tossed the ferret to me. "Jōnin typically don't have to deal with pets."

I got the little critter, easily handling him and placing him in the carrier. I took another look at him, though, since he seemed oddly familiar—

'Oh!'

A wide grin stretched over my face and I looked up at Kakashi. "Kakashi!"

"Mn?" Kakashi looked back over me, his only visible eye narrowing when he saw how excited I looked. "Did you have an epiphany for your strip-poison?"

"Well, no," I admitted, a little sad about that. "But the Goggle Gods have blessed this mission."

A look of disdain flickered over his face. "Oh. Great. What is now? Another evil tyrant about to take over the whole country?"

"Yeah!"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah! Let's go save the world, Kakashi. Looks like I'll get to add someone else to my harem, too."

"Fantastic," Kakashi muttered dryly.

"Don't worry, my love," I soothed. "You will always be the first."

"I'd rather I wasn't part of it at all," Kakashi said mournfully. "Are we going to need back up?"

"Nah," I dismissed. "We've got this easy-peezy."

Kakashi sighed. "Okay. Let's get this over."

I bit my thumb and summoned Gedo and Doku. Both salamanders crawled onto my shoulder. Gedo nuzzled into me, giving me a brief kiss on the cheek with her adorable little tongue.

~How might we assist, Sakura-hime?~

I scratched both of their heads. "I'd like a strong dose of Drunken Bliss and its antidote. A fellow we'll be meeting soon is a long lost boy about to reunited with his people, but he'll want to fight an ugly piece of poo first. We can't let him do that, so I want to make sure he's nice and inebriated when we drop him off with his people. Enough that he won't be able to go anywhere on his own, but aware enough he'll be able to talk with his people. I'll give the antidote to the Wise Old Man."

-Fine.- Deku's tail slashed in the air. –We expect a cake in return.-

"Whatever you want, baby."

Both salamanders tucked themselves away into my hoodie pocket and I slung the carrier (that had the ferret inside) over my shoulders. Kakashi and I moved towards the village we were supposed to drop off the ferret and I gave him a brief rundown of the situation.

"So evil guy—henceforth codename Evil Piece of Poo—wants to rule the world," I began, "and he and his follows run on this energy that's not chakra."

"What?"

"Yeah, no, it's great. Medical mystery for us iryo-nin and I'm super pumped to learn more about it. A-ny-whore, so we'll be fighting blond cutie patootie soon who is actually a sweetheart. He'll be easy to persuade on our side and I want him as a member of my harem."

"Okay. Don't so don't kill the blond?"

"Don't kill the blond," I agreed. "Kill everyone else, though. After we clean them up we'll head to the temple and restore life to the surrounding lands."

Kakashi took the information in stride. "So kill bad guy, and then head to some kind of temple and restore life?"

"You got it. We'll need the blond fella to do it, though. Therapy-no-Jutsu time!"

"Ri-ight."

"The first kinds of enemies we face will be puppets. Gotta shatter them completely to keep 'em down. They're essentially walking suits of armor."

Kakashi inclined his head at that. "Is there a puppet master nearby, then?"

"Not really. They're being controlled by a bunch of orphans trapped in the fortress. Sort of. It's complicated, but you'll see what I mean."

"O-kay," Kakashi said slowly, drawing out the word.

I beamed. "This is gonna be a lotta fun!"

"Sounds like it."

The trip to the nearby village was nice. It was one of those beautiful days where the sun was shining, the wind blew often enough to keep the warm day from getting too hot, and the pollen count was fantastically low. Hopping from tree to tree, then sprinting down the dirt road only gave me more time to appreciate the scenery.

In my previous life I wasn't allowed outside a whole bunch, and the mental institution was in a city, so I had never been to the country, or any place with more than one tree. The Narutoverse really was utterly gorgeous, and brimmed with life. Sure it might have been "brutal" or "murder-happy", but damn was it pretty to look at.

It also helped that I got to sneak peaks at one of the hottest shinobi the world had to offer.

Kakashi adamantly pretended not to see me ogling him. He made sure to keep pace with me so I wouldn't be behind him, unfortunately.

"One of these days you're gonna piss off the wrong person with your blatant staring," Kakashi commented.

"I have faith in my wooing abilities to persuade them to let me off the hook," I said confidently.

"If by wooing you mean stalking until you grow on them like a fungus, then yes. You're wooing abilities are remarkable," Kakashi said dryly.

"You're sassy today, ain't ya," I giggled.

Kakashi gave me a deadpan look.

Winking, I blew him a kiss. "I adore you."

"I tolerate you."

"Progress!"

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Predictably we came across Haido's group of soldiers as we neared the village. They shambled out of the bushes; big bulking black suits of armor. Kakashi dove towards them with impeccable speed and precision. He didn't bother wasting his chakra with ninjutsu, as he was fully capable of destroying them in completely one-sided bouts of taijutsu.

I stayed largely out of his way, dancing around the suits and throwing out explosive tags. I aimed for the spaces between the helmets, and took out several of them with some nicely aimed attacks.

Nerugi squeaked and squirmed in his pack, clearly afraid of the attack.

Spinning around to avoid one of the armors, I leapt backwards and threw down another explosive tag.

'Ah. Explosions are truly beautiful. I wonder if there's a explosive tag that explodes in color?'

Oo! Rainbow explosions!

'We could really make an art show!'

I made a mental note to ask Naruto—once he inevitably became a fūinjutsu master—to create multi colored explosive tags.

It couldn't have been more than five minutes before Kakashi and I thoroughly destroyed all the empty soldiers, and then along came the cutie-patootie, Temujin.

He approached silently, with a regal air about him. He was dressed as a knight, and wore a helmet to cover his adorable face.

I squealed. "My future honey!"

Kakashi leapt down to stand beside me, giving Temujin an assessing look. "This him, then?"

"That's him. Please be gentle."

"Mn." Kakashi dashed towards Temujin, and the cutie did a good job dodging at first. Then Kakashi, with his Jōnin speed, abruptly turned back around and dug his knee hard into Temujin's back. It completely dented Temujin's armor and sent the poor boy careening away. Kakashi flickered towards him before he could even touch the ground, and kicked him so hard into the ground it left a little crater.

He did all of that with his hands in his pockets.

"Sweetie, huh," was all Kakashi muttered, kneeling down towards the unconscious boy.

"You're so brutal," I sighed dreamily, skipping over towards them. "That's why you're the topper."

"Please stop."

"You can't ask me to stop flirting with you when you read porn in public in front of children." I smiled sweetly. "Speaking of which, when I went down to the bookstore to buy my complete set of Icha Icha, they were mysteriously out."

Kakashi innocently looked away. "Really? What a shame."

"Mm-hmm. Sold out barely an hour before I went in. Quite the coincidence, I'd say."

"Or it's a sign from the Goggle Gods for you to not read it."

"Don't be absurd. The Goggle Gods adore my perverseness. They relish in making people uncomfortable. Why, one of our High Priests, Deadpool, would be thoroughly ashamed of me if I didn't make someone uncomfortable on a daily basis. It's how I show my devotion."

"Of course it is."

I tied Temujin up with ease, squatting down beside him and healing up his scrapes and bruises. I popped off his helmet, and wiped away the blood that he had coughed up when Kakashi completely kicked his ass. He had a sweet angelic face. Nowhere near as adorable as Hinata, but definitely in the same ballpark.

Kakashi squatted down on the opposite side of me, assessing the teenager.

I cracked my knuckles and placed a glowing green hand over his forehead. Temujin snapped awake, his body stiffening and his eyes wide with disbelief. He tried to speak over his gag, but it was hard to make out what he said. "Shh. Time to listen, sweetie."

He glared at me with bright red eyes.

"You're name is Temujin," I began, "and you've been tricked. That man that you serve—Haido—has been lying and manipulating you for years."

The look of outrage on his face was entertaining.

"I want you think back," I continued, "think back to when your village was destroyed. I want you to remember the face of the man who killed everyone."

Temujin only continued to glare at me.

I looked up at Kakashi with a shrug. "He saw him killing his parents, but it looks like he repressed the memory."

"If only Sasuke had that level of deniability," Kakashi remarked. "I might not even be on this mission."

I snorted. "Nah. She'd stick you with me regardless."

Kakashi sighed. "Probably."

"What did you do to make her so pissed?"

"Maa. Who can say?" Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "We can try EMDR. Know his trigger words?"

"Kakashi, I didn't know you knew about EMDR."

"You mean there's something you don't know about me?"

"Well we can always fix that," I purred, winking at him. "How about a date when we get—"

I didn't even see the kunai coming but the blunt end of it slammed against my forehead and I rocked backwards. With a whine, I clutched at my poor forehead and gave Kakashi a mock wounded look. He was entirely unabashed. "Do you know this kid's triggers?"

"Um—maybe? I can guess."

"Alright. We'll give it a shot."

Kakashi took off Temujin's gloves and placed his hands carefully on top. Temujin eyed both of us warily, his red eyes flashing.

"Hmm," I hummed, peering at him. "Let's try... Father?"

Electricity danced off of Kakashi's hands, gently shocking Temujin. Not enough to harm, but plenty to jolt him.

The prince glared at us hatefully.

"Okay. Mother? No? Village? Huh. Oh my goodness... don't tell me... Stone of Gelel?"

Of course it was the movie title that triggered Temujin's memories, because irony was a beautiful mistress that would not be denied.

Temujin's eyes glazed over as he reflected on his memories. Then a look of horror washed over his face and all the color drained away from him. Tears pricked at his eyes and he rapidly shook his head as if to deny his memories.

I cut loose his gag, and Kakashi pulled out his porno, perfectly happy to read while I tried Therapy-no-Jutsu.

I wrapped an arm around his shoulder, gently patting his back. "It's okay, my dear."

"He—he—"

The poor boy bowed his head in grief and betrayal, and Kakashi and I politely pretended to ignore his tears. I continued to rub his back, though, since I enjoyed it when Kakashi did that to me while I was grieving. After a couple of minutes passed by Temujin looked up abruptly, his brow furrowed. "How did you know—? I didn't even—"

"Sakura is a special case," Kakashi absently answered for me.

"It's okay now, though," I soothed Temujin. "You don't have to go back to that evil man. Kakashi and I will take care of him."

"No—he's too strong and I—I need to confront him—"

"Then we'll bring him to you all tied up with a little bow," I cooed. "Right now, though, I think you should meet with your people. You're the last of the royal life, after all."

"Of course he's a long lost prince," Kakashi muttered under his breath. He looked up at the sky in despair. "There's no such thing as a normal mission with her, is there?

"My—people—?"

"That's right, darling. They're good folk. You'll be safe with them," I said.

Temujin's head snapped in, his eyes widening in sudden realization. "Wait! My friends—that man has other orphans. I must rescue them."

"Leave that to me and Perfect-Butt-sensei," I soothed him. "Right now we need to take you to your real people, and you ought to learn about who you really are."

"I cannot allow that—"

"Either you comply or I knock ya out and strip you," I threatened sweetly.

"She will, too," Kakashi added blithely.

"Mm-hmm. I don't want to stress our relationship like that so early on, though, so why not comply? I give you my word that we'll save everyone. I swear on Madara's Sexiness."

Temujin was clearly conflicted. "I—I cannot allow that. I must face him. I—"

I gave him a good ol' throat chop and knocked him out. "Yeah, no. The whole point of being blessed with the future is to avoid unnecessary drama and death. And you sneaking off to fight the big bad guy on your own practically screams Deus Ex Machina for added suspense."

Kakashi let out a snort, bending over and tightening Temujin's ropes. "Let's drop him and the rodent off at the caravan."

"Yeah, good call. Then we'll go save the world."

"Fun." Kakashi looked up at the sky with unhidden exasperation.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

It didn't take us long to find the caravan, and it only took us a couple of minutes to have the Wise Old Man—aka Kahiko—in front of us.

I happily handed over Nerugui, and the man's face lit up. "Nerugui! Oh, thank you for returning him. Why didn't you give him over to the nearby village, though? "

"It was ransacked and destroyed."

"W-What?!"

I bowed towards Kahiko, and Kakashi unceremoniously dropped the unconscious Temujin onto the ground. "I'm so sorry to cut this short, but an Evil Piece of Poo is currently on the hunt for the Stone of Gelel while using the Book of Gelel. He's the one that destroyed the nearby villages."

Kahiko's eyes widened at the fact I blurted out such a zealously guarded secret of his clan. "Wh-What?!"

"Yeah, so we're gonna go stop him before he can do that," I explained to him quickly, straightening back up, "but," I pointed towards Temujin, "that guy's important. He's of royal blood for you guys, if you know what I mean. Well, you'll figure it out when he wakes up, Nerugui will be able to confirm it."

"W-What?"

"So would you mind taking care of him for a bit? He's completely clueless about the clan history and whatnot," I went on. "He also wanted to go after the Evil Piece of Poo, and we can't have that so I gave him a little bit of poison so he'll stay put. Here's the antidote. Don't give it to him until we're back, please, unless some kind of emergency pops up."

"Wait!"

I tilted my head at Kahiko's flustered outburst. "Yes?"

"How can you—how do you know all this? Are you really who you say you are?"

"I've been blessed by the Goggle Gods," I told him. "They sometimes let me see the future. Don't worry about it. Temujin will probably be able to explain more when he wakes up. Now if you don't mind, we really gotta go kill an Evil Piece of Poo."

Then I turned on my heel and took off, not giving the Wise Old Man a chance to refuse. They'd take Temujin in and once the cutie woke up Nerugui would be all over him. That alone should satisfy the Kahiko's beliefs enough to tell Temujin their history. Then once I returned when the Book of Gelel that should confirm everything else.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Kakashi and I moved quickly, Pakkun in front of us as the adorable doggy backtracked Temujin's scent all the way to the fortress. As we moved, I explained what I could about the enemies.

"Evil Piece of Poo is technically called Haido," I told him, "and he's pretty much like Lord Ugly from the Land of Snow. All those armored things are basically puppets. Once we free all the orphans they'll collapse. He's got three knights that I'd place around Chūnin level. There's bat lady, who can turn into a bat hybrid and is decent at genjutsu; wolf lady, who turns into a werewolf; and monster lady, who discharges lightning out the ass. Uh, figuratively and literally. Bat lady is agile, but pretty weak. She can fly, though. Wolf lady is... bloodthirsty. And monster lady is easily countered with lightning rods, because for some reason they also hurt her."

Kakashi took everything in, nodding briefly. "Mn. Okay. You and Pakkun focus on freeing the orphans. I'll summon the rest of the Pack to accompany you. You deal with whoever gets your way, and I'll assassinate Haido. We'll clean up the rest afterwards."

Raising my hand, I gave him a salute. "Yessir."

Kakashi scratched his cheek. "Once that's taken care of I'll send out a runner to Konoha and let them know about the fortress and the strange energy that's not chakra."

"Think of all the experiments we'll get to do!" I exclaimed happily. "If Konoha can replicate the energy source—I can only think of that being a good thing. Clean energy is always good. Energy that can also power some crazy powerful fortress? Even better!"

"Mm-hmm."

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Three hours later the walking fortress was in sight, and the two of us split up—okay well I had the pack with me, so it wasn't exclusively the two of us. I lead the pack around the back, and we climbed up the wall and snuck into one of the windows.

'Time for some sneaky stealth like Batman,' I thought, flipping up onto the ceiling. The pack followed me up, but Pakkun allowed me to carry him.

No one could resist holding such an adorable puppy!

Bisque took the lead, already catching the scent of a bunch of kids. We ran down the hallways, easily avoiding the mindless suits of armor that lumbered below us. None of them bothered to look up.

I felt like a rogue in Skyrim with Stealth at 100, sneaking around Whiterun and stealing everyone's clothes. Despite being so ridiculously close to my victims, none of them saw me.

'This is fun,' I thought gleefully. 'I wish I could get hired to steal something. I bet I would make a kick ass jewel thief.'

Bisque lead us into the room with the orphans. As soon as I saw them, I backflipped off the ceiling and landed onto the metal flooring. The pack spread across the room, sniffing at all the unconscious children.

"Are they gonna be able to walk?" Pakkun asked me.

"Probably not. I can make three earth clones, though, and each one can carry two. Bull could easily take four. We only gotta figure out how to move the other eight."

"I could take two if someone ties them to me," Akino offered.

"I can handle one," Shiba added. Uhei and Urushi both agreed to that.

"So all that's left is three... Hmm. If I tied them to my earth clones, they could carry three each instead of two. Let's shoot for that, then."

The pack and I went about destroying the glass spheres that contained the children, catching each of them before they fell and hit the floor. We moved as fast as we could, hoping to avoid unnecessary conflict since we now had live hostages to worry about.

Pakkun let out a soft growl. "Someone's coming. They're moving slowly, and they're alone so they likely don't suspect anything."

"We stay together," I instructed. "Let's see if we can take 'em by surprise."

The Pack moved as one, leaping up onto the walls then onto the ceiling, with most of them carrying children strapped to their backs. My clones followed suit, two kids tied on the back and one in front.

I almost laughed at how ridiculous my clones looked carrying them like that. It was like a was a pack mule, or something.

I grabbed my own two designated kiddos, moving them out of the way so that way I could deal with whoever was coming.

I stood above the doorway, poison-coated kunais in each hand.

Then in walked one of Haido's knights—specifically, the lady that shot out lightning.

'Ranke?' I thought. 'Damn she's hot. Why must the bad people be so attractive? It must be a law in this universe. The Madara Law.'

Ranke took one step in the room, then gasped in surprise at seeing all the empty spheres. Her head swung around, looking for an explanation, and that was when I dropped down on top of her.

My legs landed on her shoulders and I dug my kunai deep into her eye, and straight to her brain.

She collapsed, and I ripped my kunai out of her.

'Oh, movie goons,' I thought fondly. 'Never change.'

"Okay," I said with a big grin. "Let's head out of here and meet up with my future husband."

The pack snickered at that.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Kakashi met up with us at the rendezvous about half an hour later, carrying a tattered book that he tossed over to me. "This what you need?"

"Ah, yes, the Book of Gelel. The Wise Old Man will be happy to have this back," I said happily.

Kakashi glanced around at the pack. "You already send Bisque off to Konoha?"

"Yeah. Let's drop these kids off with the caravan and give my future harem member the good news. Then we can go home, and I can see if I can find a copy of Icha Icha for sale."

"Perfect."

I politely ignored his sarcasm.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Dear Sakura,

I've sent you a package of baked goods. They should be arriving shortly. I have to keep this brief since Zabuza needs me, but I must thank you for the fanart. I'll treasure it and try to keep it out of Zabuza's sight for as long as possible.

Love,

Haku

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Sakura,

Okay.

I will frame it.

Okay.

Dry. No. I don't know. Okay.

Do you have a thing called a hobby?

Gaara

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Dearest Sakura,

I must thank you for my very own Harem Waifu sweater. Your knitting skills are certainly impressive, as it's incredibly comfortable and form fitting. Side note, my Best Bae sweater with matching underwear has gone missing. Would it be too much trouble to ask for another pair? They were favorites.

I have begun negotiations with Tsunade about a proper alliance between your village and the Land of Spring. The talks have begun in earnest, and I'm positive we'll be able to form a proper contract that leaves both parties happy. I've made sure that Tsunade knows she has you to thank for this.

I'm looking forward to trying that new recipe! I've sent it off to the chefs and they promised to have it made for me by the weekend. Opera cake sounds fascinating, wherever do you come up with these words?

I'm sorry to hear about your teammate. I hope he recovers from Broodavengeritius and rejoin your team.

Many congratulations on your promotion, and your partnership.

Eager to hear from you,

Lady Yukie

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Movie wrap up in the next chapter.

Dude, like. Knowing the future is OP.

I love all these guesses! I'll give you guys one hint that won't be given in the story until the plot twist. The Goggle Gods are/is an actual group of people/person.

Answer: Hogwarts.

Question: Anime you're current watching?

Extra: (Took this from my tumblr)Oh yes. It's time for the Icha Icha pick up line madness. Keep in mind that Icha Icha is essentially porno, so the pick up lines are nsfw!

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Kakashi: -is grumpy-

Sakura: -slides in to stand beside him and wiggles her eyebrows.- "Is Little Kakashi in poor health? Shall I give him some mouth to mouth?"
Kakashi: -mortified- No. No—that line—don't tell me—

Sakura: -holds up the first installment of Icha Icha with a wicked smile on her face-

Kakashi: -is inwardly crying-

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)  

Kakashi: -is helping Sakura stitch a wound on her back she can't reach-

Sakura: -winks at him- Do you work for the postal service? Because I see you checking out my package."

Kakashi: -jabs the needle violently into her back-

Sakura: AHHH. OW. OW. I'M SORRY. I TAKE IT BACK.

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)  

Sakura: -is awaiting Kakashi outside his door for their next mission- "Kakashi-kun! Don't keep me waiting!"

Kakashi: -eyebrow twitches-

Ten minutes pass

Sakura: -breaks open the door.- "Only latex should stand between our love!"

Kakashi: -squeaky horrified noises-

( ｡◕‿‿◕｡)  

Sakura: -eyeing Kakashi across a campfire on a mission.-

Kakashi: -giving her a look of disgust and reluctance-

Sakura: "Why don't you let me come over there and sit on your lap, and we'll discuss the first thing that pops up?"

Kakashi: -uses a suiton jutsu- "Drink some water, thirsty girl."

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Sakura: "Man all these pick up lines are hard to do without a dick! Kakashi, why can't you use them?"

Kakashi: "I cannot say no enough to that."

Sakura: "... Was your daddy a baker?"

Kakashi: "Oh my God stop."

Sakura: "Because you have the nicest buns. Hehehehehehehehe."

Kakashi: -is banging his head against a wall now-

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Reviews are love!