The tense atmosphere after our unfinished conversation only got worse when we realized we only had one blanket and one pillow with one tent. Justin immediately suggested for me to rest, but I squashed his offer and ordered him to get in.

I shoved him inside and kicked him down into a sleeping position. Sitting down besides him, I folded my arms and closed my eyes.

We accompanied each other in silence, listening to the harsh wind blowing outside. Not until did I hear a deep rhythmic breathing coming from Justin did I open my eyes.

I didn't expect him to fall asleep so quickly; I always noticed him tossing and turning and waking up at the slightest sounds.

Staring at his sleeping face, I drew my knees up to my chest and exhaled. Now that I could sit down and think about our conversation, I could feel an uneasy wave of emotions wash over me again.

It's not like I was surprised by Justin's answer; I was just angry.

I'd always pondered about each of the member's objective for going on such a dangerous journey. Tristan told me his, and everyone was there to witness Catherine's reason.

And while Yuri's motive is still ambiguous, I always had a gut feeling about Justin's goal. From the very first meeting with Guren, the black malice Justin was emitting was something only the ones with deep, truthful hate could ooze out like that. 

I suddenly found myself reminiscing the time Justin snapped at me back at the hideout to stop moping around. I remembered him staring down at me with pity and anger in his eyes.

Now that I think about, his words and eyes didn't really seem like they were directed to me, but rather someone else. Someone like—

"Ugh..." I glanced over at Justin to see him shift over on his side. His hair fell above his eyes as he moved, and instinctively, I reached out to brush his bangs away.

My hand stopped as my fingers grazed his hair. I became painfully aware of my heartbeat and retracted my hand.

I wasn't the brightest person, but I don't think it takes a genius to realize this feeling.

Maybe because this feeling was so foreign to me, I refused to face the reality of it, but I don't think that's possible anymore. 

I sat there, stunned at my thoughts and suddenly broke into an incredulous smile.

Shaking my head, I buried my face into my hands. Well, just because I finally realized what I was feeling doesn't mean I have to act on it. More like, I can't act on it.

It wasn't just about how unstable both Justin and I were as individuals, but will we even stay together after this is over was the question. I hated to admit it, but Justin was right to a degree.

Everyone was only together because we had the same goal. Once that was completed, everyone is going to go on their separate ways. After our conversation just now, I knew Justin was just planning on dropping out after he was done with Guren.

If I acted my feelings on him, I wouldn't be able to chase the guilt within me for the rest of my life. Looking at him now, he doesn't even see worth in his own existence. 

If I were to confess and somehow by a miracle, he reciprocated the same feelings back, could I say with full certainty that he wasn't going to end up too dependent on me? What if something happened to me, and that was his last straw? 

Before anything, I needed to make sure he could stand up on his own without depending or letting something take over his life.

I turned my eyes towards Justin again and felt my heart tug. Still, a part of me wanted him to depend on me. I wanted to embrace him and listen to all the burdens he had been carrying for his whole life.

Even I couldn't stand the constant, painful reminder in my head for a month—and Mom and May are still alive. It was mind-boggling to me how he was still alive, but now I know he wasn't alive for himself.

He stayed alive for revenge.

Drawing a shaky breath, I reached out again and ever so gently rested my hand against his cheek.

"How cold."

                                                                        ~

I didn't even realize I'd fallen asleep until I opened my eyes and realized something was off. For one, I was feeling way too warm. As I tried to regain my senses, I suddenly realized I was being held tightly against another body.

I didn't have to look up to see who it was. His scent had already filled my head.

Slowly, I tried to pull away, but his grip around my waist tightened. I flinched. I had no idea how I ended up next to him, but somehow, we had ended up against each other. His arm was draped around my waist, and his lips were against my hair. He had pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around me like a second blanket.

As much as my realistic side was screaming at myself to get away, the longer I lingered next to him, the more unwilling I was to pull away.

Shutting out my rational voice, I closed my eyes again and let myself relax in his arms. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep again until I woke up again, feeling cold and bare before realizing Justin wasn't next to me anymore.

I bolted up and rushed to run out of the tent when I froze. Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself down and set a cool mask on before walking out. 

Justin was at the entrance of the cave, standing right where the snow stopped and looking up at the sky. The snowstorm had stopped, and the sun was out, revealing a bright blue and cloudless sky.

"Do you think Rezin will find us?" I asked, walking up besides him and staring out at the white field.

"He will," Justin said without missing a beat. "In fact, he should be coming right...now."

At first, I didn't see the bird, but as I carefully searched the sky, I suddenly spotted a black dot heading towards us. I was too surprised by the bird's appearance to move, but Justin stepped up and held out his arm for the bird to land.

"Finally," Justin muttered. "Princess, look into Rezin's eyes and see where everyone else is."

"Can't you?" I frowned.

"If you don't have Royal blood, you can't directly see the things that Rezin see through his eyes."

Rezin hopped over to my oustretched hand and stared its beady eyes into mines. A second passed by and nothing happened. Then, Rezin's eyes began to turn purple, and I was sucked into the bird's point of view.

I was in the sky, looking down at the white landscape. My eyes suddenly caught two dark figures treading up a snowy mountain. Immediately, I felt my body turn and dove down towards them.

Putting out my talons, I gently landed on Tristan's shoulder. His nose was red and bruised, and a bunch of snow was in his hair, but he seemed alright otherwise. I looked over at Catherine and realized she had put her left arm in a cast.

I chirped; Tristan noticed me, and his eyes lit up. "Rezin! Thank god you found us! Yuri, Justin, and Sakura got separated from us. I want to wait for them, but I'm not sure if we can stake out that long. We don't know how far they could've been swept. Tell them we'll meet up at Cuartio."

When I blinked again, I was inside my own body. Justin was looking at me with a curious expression. I quickly told him what I had seen and heard, and Justin nodded. "Let's get going then. We'll have Rezin guide us."

"But he still needs to find Yuri," I panicked. "I'm worried for Yuri. He—"

"He'll be fine," Justin said, passing by me. "Don't worry."

I frowned, watching him begin to put out the fire. Snapping out of my surprise, I ran up to Justin. "Are you serious? How can you be so calm and sure? Yuri can't even defend himself!"

"I'm sure Rezin first went to search for his owner," Justin responded calmly. "If Rezin is with us, Yuri must be fine."

Although Justin's words made sense, it didn't erase the uneasiness stirring within me. I couldn't understand how Justin didn't seem worried at all about Yuri.

"Hey," Justin stood up. "Are you still stressing about him?"

"I'll look into Rezin's eyes again," I said, taking the bird off my shoulder. "If Rezin really went looking for Yuri first, I should be able to see—"

"No," Justin cut me off. Rezin suddenly tensed and flew out of my hand. The bird landed on Justin's shoulder and ruffled its startled feathers.

I blinked. "Huh?"

"It...doesn't work that way," Justin turned away from me and began to pack the tent. "Rezin needs time to rest to show you his point of view or else it will damage his health."

"Oh, I see," I cleared my throat. 

"We'll be able to set out today," Justin said. "If we hurry, we can make it by nightfall."

Neither of us said anything else as we hurried to pack our bags. Rezin flew off Justin's shoulder and guided us towards the entrance.

As we exited the cave, our feet immediately sunk in the snow. I looked around and spotted the top of the small mountain we had fallen from.

Justin clicked his tongue and flicked his boots up, causing snow to fly through the air. "This is going to slow down our progress."

I took a few steps forward and suddenly tripping over something. Justin quickly lunged forward and seized me by the arm before I could fall over. We both let out a breath of relief; he slid his hand from my arm down to my hand as he pulled me back up.

As soon as our skin touched, I flinched and yanked my hand out of his grasp without meaning to. Justin's eyes widened at my strange reaction, and I quickly turned away to hide my guilty expression.

"Be careful," I said, waddling forward. "There are rocks and objects hidden below the snow."

Keeping my eyes trained on Rezin, I followed after the bird silently with Justin treading behind me. I'd thought he would try to bring up yesterday's conversation, but neither of us spoke up about it.

"Your hand," Justin suddenly spoke up. "It's so calloused now."

"Well, what do you expect?" I shrugged. I was glad Justin was talking to me; I was afraid my overreaction just moments ago would bother him, but I guess he didn't think much of it.

"Should a princess's hand feel like that?"

I almost stopped. 

Although I had accepted the fact that Mom was part of the Royal family, I still couldn't bring myself to think of myself as a princess. I just couldn't see myself in that role.

"That's strange," I said curiously. "Do you see me as a princess?"

"Of course."

"Hmm...is that why you won't call me by my name?"

"I guess."

"Why? Everyone else knows too, but they still call me by my name," I breathed, watching mist float out of my mouth. "It would be nice to hear you say my name."

Justin didn't answer. I glanced over my shoulder and smirked. "That's alright. Take your time. I'll wait for you, no matter how long it'll take."

Justin suddenly grabbed my hand and stopped. I turned around and watched an uneasy flicker of emotions pass through his eyes. I suddenly understood why he looked like he was having a mental dilemma and said, "Justin, you don't need to force yourself to tell me if you're not ready—"

"That's not it," he rasped. "I do want to tell you. I don't want us to just pretend like last night's conversation didn't happen—"

"I'm not saying we should," I said. "But I don't think you're ready to tell me everything yet, and I don't want to hear anymore of your story if that's how it's going to be."

"I can go more in depth this time—"

"No," I said. "You can't. What's the point in telling me all this when you don't even have a plan after you complete this life mission of yours? Are you planning on leaving everyone? How are you going to do it? By a knife? Or maybe by a rope?"

Justin's grip on my hand tightened; I exhaled the angry breath I was holding.

"Remember how I said I would help you?" I asked him. Justin nodded. "I hope you know my support isn't going to come for free."

Justin rose an eyebrow. "What makes you think I need your help?"

I rose an eyebrow. "He's not just someone you can defeat with a sword, Justin. He's a Royal Demon."

Realization suddenly washed over him, and he bit his lower lip. I couldn't quite figure out why he suddenly looked guilty, but he quickly reset his face so that no emotions showed. Turning back towards me, he nodded. "You're right."

I frowned. "What was that?"

"What?" he asked.

"You looked so guilty for a second," I narrowed my eyes.

Justin stared back at me silently and didn't say anything for a second. He closed his eyes and seemed to have another inner conflict with himself before sighing, "So, what's your price?"

I folded my arms. "Hey..."

My words died in my throat quickly as I stared at Justin. I was being too pushy with him right now; I shouldn't bug him to answer questions he didn't want to answer.

"I just...want you to find another purpose of living," I said. 

I watched as Justin's face shifted from bemusement to a blank slate. I tilted my head. "What's with that look?"

"Purpose, huh," Justin muttered. He stared silently at me as if the answer was on my face. "That's easier said than done."

I smirked. Pulling my hand out of his tight grip, I began walking in the direction we were heading. "Is it? Have you ever sat down for five minutes and wondered what you should do after the moment you've been preparing for your whole life has ended?"

Justin didn't respond.

"You're going to just kill yourself afterwards? Wasn't that the original plan you had?"

He didn't answer again.

"Well, I don't think anyone in this world wants to die," I shielded my eyes with my hand from the sun. "Maybe in the moment, we do, but when I really think about it, I think we're just praying to be saved. Saved from the horrible memories and burdens we place on ourselves."

Silence ensued my words. When Justin spoke up, I could barely make out his words.

"Who then? Who's going to save me?"

I spotted the bottom of the mountain we had hiked up before we were wiped off by an avalanche and dropped my hand. "Why are you trying to depend on someone else to save you? Why don't you be that person?"

"Weren't you just going on about how you would wait for me no matter how long it would take?" Justin said. "If you're going to wait that long for me, why don't you become that person I can depend on?"

I stumbled forward a bit and caught my breath. "No."

"That was a quick rejection."

"It can't be me. Or anyone else. It has to be you," I watched Rezin circle above us and knew we were at the very foot of the mountain now. "But that doesn't mean any of us are leaving you."

"Your rash actions just don't add up to your words," Justin stood besides me and looked up at the climb, waiting for us.

"I promise," I said. "As long as you can keep up the end of our bargain as well."

I turned towards him and stuck out my pinky. Justin stared at my finger but didn't make a move forward. I frowned and tilted my head. "Don't you know what a pinky promise is?"

"Pinky...promise...?" Justin rose a curious eyebrow.

I took Justin's hand and flipped his pinky up. Wrapping mine around his, I looked up at him and recited, "Pinky promise, hope to die. Swallow ten million needles if you lie."

Justin stared blankly at our intertwined fingers before suddenly breaking out into a chuckle.

"Hey!" I frowned as he turned his laughing face away. "This is serious! You have to keep a pinky promise!"

"I can't swallow ten million needles though," Justin replied, recovering from his shaking fit.

"That's the point, idiot," I sighed. "Don't break the promise and you won't die."

Justin smirked. "This is such a childish method."

I smiled. "It is, isn't it? But it's nice sometimes to do childish things, right?"

His smirk fell off his face, and a solemn look crossed over his face. I glanced up at the mountain and began our hike up.

"Ah," I suddenly remembered, "I forgot to ask you. In Mansa, why didn't you tell those parents that you guys were the ones who saved their children?"

Justin didn't answer; I glanced over my shoulder to make sure he was still there and frowned.

"It felt wrong to take the credit," Justin gave in after I didn't turn my head back around. "We went to save you. Not the kids."

"But you still saved them in the end."

"Did we?"

"I don't get it. Whatever you're saying doesn't change the fact that they are with their families right now because of you and the others."

"Then should I take the credit knowing I would choose you over saving the kids in a heartbeat, no matter what? Frankly, I could care less about the kids. Tristan and the others were the one who got them out of there."

"Then why didn't Tristan just say it was him when the parents asked him first? Why did he turned towards you?"

Justin moved his eyes towards me. "Because he knows himself as well. He wouldn't be as cruel as me, but his priority is you as well."

Goosebumps ran up my arm. If I were to ask Justin if he could either save the world or his parents, he was definitely the type of person to answer the latter. I knew he was that type of person already, but hearing it come directly from his mouth was still nerve-wrecking.

I let out a dry laugh. "That's scary to hear, you know? Hopefully, we won't have to face that situation. That would be a nightmare."

"Would it?" Justin turned his face towards the sky and let out a breath of mist. "I wouldn't be able to tell. Even though I'm wide awake, I still feel like I'm stuck in this same nightmare of a world."

~~~~~

Wowww I'm finally updating early for once whoop whoop. I'm so drained; this month is probably going to be the busiest lol so （￣Ω￣）

I hope you guys are staying safe in this pandemic and wearing your mask and socially distancing! 

If you enjoyed this chapter, hit the star and drop your thoughts down below in the comments :))

I'll see you guys next Sunday <<33