"All right! I am a god! You guys are trash! First, get that into your heads! Drill it in there! If I say be a dog, then act like a dog! If I say, be a monkey, act like a monkey! First and foremost, you must please me! Bow and scrape and avert your eyes! Toadies are mine, body and soul! I'll say it again, I'm a god!"

The four looked at him in an awkward silence.

'This guy is messed up!' Zenitsu thought in pure shock.

Y/N and Tanjiro raised their hands at the same time.

"The girl first!" Uzui says, pointing to Y/N.

"Did you came up with this whole speech just now, or you already had it ready before?"

"… Ok, now the boy!"

He avoided the question.

"what exactly are you the god of?" Tanjiro asks very earnestly.

"Good question, you've got promise!"

'It's a dumb question, he's hopeless.' Zenitsu thinks, still in shock in how dumb they both are.

"I'm the god of glam and flash, the god of festivals!"

Inosuke then proudly put his hands on his hips and says: "Greetings god of festivals, I'm the god of the mountain."

Uzui just look at him like he's an alien and responds: "What are you talking about? You're weird."

"Oh, I'm a god too! I'm the god of….uuuh….tempura?" Y/N says, trying to participate in the conversation. 

"Very well." Uzui responds back.

'So, god of the mountain is weird, but god of tempura is fine?!' Zenitsu thought.

"Along the way to the hanamachi, there is a wisteria house, we'll make our preparations in there." He says to them, turning away before suddenly disappearing.

"Hey! He's gone! And Y/N is not here too!"

They look north to see him already far from them.

"He's fast! He's so far away that he looks like a little sesame seed!"

"Behold the power of the god of festivals!" Inosuke exclaims.

"Naw, he's just the hashira Uzui Tengen." Tanjiro responds calmly.

"Quit chatting! We have to follow them!"

As Uzui ran, Y/N suddenly popped out from his back and said: "Ooooh, so fast!"

"You! When did you climb in here?!"

"well, you see….right at the start…I hopped on your back while you were distracted!......and…. then….zzzzz"

"DON'T GET BORED OF YOUR OWN EXPLANATION!"

♡

Already at the wisteria house, Uzui started to give them the instructions: "Once in the entertainment district, I'll gather information on the demon, while you guys keep your eyes open for a woman that I can marry."

"THAT'S ABSURD!" Zenitsu screams.

"Huh?"

"STOP MESSING AROUND! THE DEMON SLAYER CORPS ISN'T A MATCHMAKING SERVICE!"

"HUH? Listen, you are wrong…"

"NO! YOU LISTEN! I GET THAT A WEIRDO LIKE YOU MUST HAVE A LOT OF TROUBLES WITH THE LADIES BUT DON'T USE MEMBERS OF THE CORPS TO FIND YOURSELF A WIFE!"

"YOU IDIOT! My wives snuck into this entertainment district and have been gathering information about the demon here! I'm going in because their communications suddenly stopped!"

Zenitsu looked at him blankly before blurting out: "Is this the weird fantasy you tell yourself?"

"YOU SNOT-NOSED BRAT!"

He harshly threw a block of letters in his face, the impact making him fall to the floor.

"HERE! These are letters they sent by the crow!"

"So many! She must write quickly." Tanjiro comments, looking at the number of letters.

"Dolt! I have three wives!"

"three wives? THREE?! YOU?! HOW CAN YOU HAVE THREE WIVES?! GIMME A BREAK!"

In response, Uzui gave a harsh punch to his gut, he falls to the floor defeated.

"You got a problem with that?!"

"Um…in these letters, they keep saying for you to not stand out when you arrive, what are we gonna do?" Tanjiro asks.

"Use disguises, of course. It's boring and plain, but…I have to get you in there for our mission. I thought an entertainment district would be a perfect place for a demon to hide, but when I snuck in as costumer, I couldn't find any leads…. But my three wives are outstanding kunoichis, so I sent them, but not as costumers…we've narrowed it down to three establishments, so you'll go there and look for my wives."

He showed us three of his fingers and said: "Suma, at house Tokito, Mako at house Ogimoto and Hinatsuri at house Kyogoku."

"What if your wives are already dead?" Inosuke asks without any consideration, picking his ear.

Just like Zenitsu, he received a punch to the gut.

"We brought the items you will need." The people who work at the house say.

"Thanks."

♡

"Hey…are you sure you know how to do this?" Zenitsu says, sweat dropping as he looks in the mirror after Uzui finished making up him.

Tanjiro decided to keep silent about it even though he knew very well that they all looked ridiculous, Inosuke as always didn't understand what was going on and just looked proudly at his reflection while flexing his muscles, no one wasted energy to explain that he's supposed to act like a girl.

"Where's Y/N?"

"I gave her a kimono, I'm waiting for her to finish wearing it." Uzui comments as he cleaned the makeup on his face.

"Are you sure that I have to wear this? It doesn't look very practical for fighting and all, what if I bump into the demon?" Y/N comments as she entered the room, wearing a pink kimono with cherry blossoms prints.

Everyone just looked at her in silence.

"…there's something at my face?"

"IT'S A GODDESS!" Zenitsu suddenly screamed, clapping his hands like he was praying and tearing up, Y/N sweat dropped at his reaction.

"Wow! You look really beautiful Y/N! W-well, I mean- you are always beautiful but-" Tanjiro said, stumbling on his words, Inosuke, incapable of understand what was this bubbling feeling on his chest, just looked at her in awe.

Congratulations Y/N, a perfect triple-kill!