"Amara,"

I sighed and walked faster.

"Stop following me, will you?" iritadong sabi ko habang hindi siya nililingon.

Naririnig ko pa rin kasi ang yabag niyang sumusunod sa akin. Pinagtitinginan pa kami ng mga schoolmates namin dahil nakakakuha siya ng atensiyon. Araw-araw na lang ganito.

Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako at napakunot ang noo nang lampasan niya pa ako. Ang yabang niya dahil mahaba ang mga biyas niya.

"Uuwi ka na?" nakangiting tanong ni Guerrero na ngayon ay sinasabayan na akong maglakad. Nakakainsulto 'yung part na nililiitan niya ang lakad para sa akin.

"What do you think? Classes are done. Ano pa ba ang gagawin ko maliban sa pag-uwi?" I snorted and asked sarcastically.

"Hatid kita?" he asked while smiling again! Ni hindi niya man lang pinansin ang pagsusungit ko.

Nakakairita na 'yong lagi niyang pagngiti. Nakakaguilty na din 'yong lagi kong pagsusungit sa kaniya pero nakakainis kasi siya. Ayaw akong tigilan.

"I have my own car," I told him. "And I don't need a company. I can go home alone."

"O...kay." He whispered and stopped. Tiningnan niya lang akong pumasok sa aking sasakyan.

Hindi ko na siya tinuunan ng atensiyon pagkatapos o tinapunan man lang ng tingin. I sighed heavily after I drove away. I gazed at him in the rearview mirror, and guilt ate at my heart after seeing his defeated face.

I bit the inside of my cheeks and looked away, trying to erase his expressions from my head. Bumigat ang pakiramdam ko pero 'yon lang ang tanging paraan na alam ko. I don't really want to be uptight. It's just my defense mechanism.

Ilang ulit ko na din namang sinabi sa kaniya na ayoko pero hindi pa rin siya tumitigil. Kaya siya na ang bahalang mapagod kakahabol. Alam niya namang wala siyang pag-asa.

I opened the stereo while driving because the silence was too defeating. Binagalan ko ang takbo ko nang makita ang pulang sign sa traffic lights.

I stopped the car and busied myself singing along to the music while waiting for it to turn green again. I even tapped my fingers on the wheel while slightly banging my head.

I stared at the people crossing the pedestrian and smiled a little when I saw a little girl helping an old woman cross the street. Pinaandar ko lang ulit ang sasakyan nang maggreen na.

It's been four months and I haven't heard a single thing about him like I promised.

It's a nice thing that my university is far from his. My friends never mention his name either, so I can live freely without breaking down. I rarely open my social media accounts to avoid getting information about his life.

The start was the hardest of all. Hindi ko kasi alam kung saan magsisimulang kalimutan ang lahat.

Kahit saan ako magpunta, sinusundan ako ng anino niya. Bumabalik sa akin lahat every time I pass by the library we used to hang out or when I catch glimpses of the places we used to spend time together.

Naaalala ko siya tuwing makakakita ako ng damit na babagay sa kaniya. Or when I see his favorite food or stumble upon his favorite movies. My mind instantly thinks of him when his favorite music plays in my car.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko kakalimutan ang boses niya. How he whispered "I love you" and comforting words in my ears. I do not know how to forget his touch that lingers in my system.

Siguro nga kailangan kong bitawan ang sarili ko para bitawan din siya. Kaya siguro I stopped doing what I love in order to forget him. 

I no longer enjoy slow melodies. I prefer rock now because its loudness keeps my mind from thinking about anything. I also started exploring foods that differ from my usual tastes. Natutuwa ako minsan dahil nakakahanap ako ng bagong paboritong pagkain na gusto kong balikan. I tried visiting new places and appreciating small things as well. Mas malawak pala ang mundo kaysa sa inaakala ko.

I always keep myself busy so there won't be any room for me to think of him. I tried moving on from him. I let my heart bleed. Unti-unti ko din naman siyang hindi naaalala.

Nang binitawan ko ang sarili ko, mas naging madaling kalimutan siya.

Until one day, I just got tired of everything. I got tired of caring. Napagod na akong masaktan at umiyak gabi-gabi. Nawalan na ako ng ganang isipin kung saan ako nagkamali, o kung sapat ba ako because no one gave me answers.

Gusto ko na ding sumaya. Gusto kong makalaya. Ayoko ng makulong.

My heart is slowly accepting it now. That maybe...we aren't really for each other. Maybe he did love me but he found someone else to love now, and I can't blame him for that.

Pakiramdam ko naman hindi ko na siya mahal. I can feel to myself that I don't care anymore. Every time I hear his name, I still flinch pero hindi na ako lumilingon. Dumadalang na lang din ang pag-iyak ko. Nakakatawa na ako. Hindi na ako ganoon kaapektado.

I felt like I'd already moved on pero minsan, hindi ko talaga maiwasang mapatulala, isipin ang lahat at masaktan ulit.

It still lingers in my mind like it leaves a permanent scar. Tama nga si Azul, hindi 'yon mawawala. Masasanay ka na lang.

Natatakot ako minsan. What if my scars are not gone? What if it's just forgotten? Baka akala ko nakamove on na ako pero hindi pa rin pala. Baka binulag ko lang ang sarili ko sa kagustuhang makalimutan siya.

But that's normal, right? It's part of moving on. Kasi hindi naman 'yon sobrang dali, hindi ba? Ilang taon kasi 'yon. Sobrang hirap kalimutan. What matters the most is I'm making progress. Kahit paunti-unting usad lang, okay na.

I'm not totally healed yet, but at least I'm at peace. It's fine as long as my heart is safe.

"Kakarating mo lang?" I asked Vien when I saw her entering our condo. Kakalabas ko lang din ng room. Pumunta ako sa kusina at sumunod naman siya. I opened the refrigerator and grabbed the pitcher.

"Oo," she replied with a scowl as she sat down and rested her chin on the table. "Tanga si Lamore. Parang gago," she gritted her teeth in annoyance.

My brows furrowed as I poured myself water. "Bakit?" tanong ko saka uminom.

"Trinay akong halikan, punyeta! Eh binibiro ko lang naman siya na ginagawa 'yon ng magbestfriend!" she hissed, and I nearly spat out the water. I immediately swallowed it and laughed. Diring-diri kasi ang mukha niya.

"Tapos? Ano nangyari?" aliw na tanong ko saka binaba ang baso para punasan ang gilid ng labi ko.

"Sobrang kinabahan ako, gago," she looked traumatized and her face paled. "Tinulak ko nga tapos tinawanan lang ako."

I forced myself not to laugh again because she looked pissed. "Then?"

Ngumuso siya saka bumusangot, "Tapos sabi niya hindi niya daw ako type."

"What?" I hissed while slightly laughing. Siya? Hindi type ni Lamore? Mukha silang tangang dalawa. "Nalungkot ka do'n?"

"Gago, hindi. Tanga ka talaga." Irap niya. "Bakit ako malulungkot?! Hindi kami talo 'no! Saka kung hindi niya ako type, edi mas hindi ko siya type! Akala niya magpapatalo ako sa kaniya!"

Umiling lang ako sa mga rants niya. Parang pinapatay niya na yung isa sa kaniyang isip. Kawawa na nga yung lalaki sa kaniya.

"Magbihis ka na. Late na tayo sa birthday ni Kala. Kanina pa nagrereklamo si Dolly," sabi ko.

Tumango siya. "Pero okay lang ba na mapagod ka? May therapy ka pa bukas, a?" tanong niya saka uminom din sa baso ko.

Umiling ako. "I ended my sessions last week."

Ni hindi man lang ako nagulat sa napaka-OA niyang reaksyon. "Huh?! Bakit?!" halos pasigaw na sabi niya saka pinunasan ang labi na basa ng tubig.

"I'm all better now, Vien. Kita ko naman ang improvements ko and my condition is more stable now. " I assured her. I'm still on medication though. It helps me manage any lingering symptoms.

"Sure ba 'yan?!" pagdududa niya sa akin, habang kinikilatis ako ng mga mata niya.

I laughed a little, "Yeah."

"Sabi mo 'yan ha! " hindi pa rin naniniwalang banta niya. "Babantayan kita!"

Inirapan ko siya at sinabihang magbihis na. Nakanguso tuloy siyang pumunta sa kwarto niya.  Hinintay ko lang siyang matapos habang kinakalikot ang cellphone ko.

"Amara, halika na! Hinahanap na daw ni Dolly ang kagandahan ko. Mamamatay na daw siya kapag hindi ako nakita."

I stood up and just rolled my eyes at her. "Then let her die."

Ako na ang nag-drive papuntang venue. I stopped the car and turned the engine off when we reached our destination. Sa labas pa lang, maririnig mo na ang ingay ng sound. Kaagad kaming bumaba at pumasok sa bahay ni Kala. Sinalubong naman kami kaagad ng alon ng mga tao at karamihan ay lasing na.

"Happy birthday," I greeted Kala when we stopped in front of her.

"Omg! Thank you!" she giggled. Tuwang-tuwa siya sa damit namin na twinning. She even dragged us in front for picture-taking.

We even met Okin there, Dolly's longest fling. Ang tagal na naming hindi nagkikita and oh damn, it looks like God favored him when I saw him in person. No wonder why Dolly wanted to bed him that bad.

Napafacepalm ako kasi mukhang tanga naman yung dalawang kaibigan ko sa gilid na kinikilig dahil nakakita ng gwapo.

"I think I don't need to introduce myself anymore," I stated when he looked at me like it's my turn to introduce myself. Mukhang naaalala niya naman ako kasi nakangisi siya ng makahulugan.

"No worries. You're quite popular in our town," he pointed out and laughed a little. Puno ng malisya yung sinabi.

Chinismis pa nga siya nina Kala at Vien. Napapairap na lang kami ni Dolly sa gilid. Kami pa ang nahihiya sa mga pinaggagawa nila.

"Dolly! Ayel!"

Napalingon kami kay Azul nang tawagin niya kami. Bumati pabalik si Dolly at ngumiti lang ako sa kaniya ng kaunti.

She smiled, "Pwedeng mahiram si Amara? Wala na akong mareto sa mga friends ko!" tawa niya. "Wala namang magagalit, hindi ba?"

"Naku wala," benta kaagad sa akin ni Dolly! "Kaladkarin mo na 'yan. Hanapan mo ng bago para naman hindi na magmukmok."

"I'm not in the mood to flirt. So pass," tanggi ko kaagad.

"C'mon! Let's go! Huwag mong hindian ang grasya! I'm quite a cupid, you know! Look at Dolly and Okin right now!" pamimilit pa ni Azul.

I don't even know what happened. I just found myself being dragged by Azul.

"Azul! Amara! Ganda niyo a!" Marwan teased when we encountered him together with his friends.

"Ang gaganda pero mali pumili ng lalaki!" Gray laughed, looking so drunk.

"Hoy tanga, foul!" Batok ni Lacaus sa isa.

"What the hell, you reek of alcohol," Azul winced while looking at them.

"Pakunwari ka pa, Gray! Kung siya daw pinili mo, Amara, instead of Gahala, hindi ka pa daw masasaktan!" Ar-ar teased, almost falling over as he stood up.

I suddenly became uncomfortable because of the mention of my ex. Lacaus, who noticed my reaction, slapped Ar-ar's cheek and nudged him.

"Bantot talaga ng bibig mo!"

I smiled hesitantly, not minding the sudden twist inside me. "It's fine. I don't mind."

"Naks! Nakamove on na!" asar ni Gray.

Madami pa silang ginago sa amin bago sila umalis para si Dolly naman ang tarantaduhin. Mga lasing silang nagpaalam at tawa-tawang umalis.

"Gosh! Ang kakalat pa din nila!" reklamo ni Azul habang hinihila ako papunta sa kung saan. Natagpuan ko na lang ang sarili kong nakatayo sa harap ng isang lalaki.

"Finn, this is Keleya Amara, my friend, and Amara, this is Finn Verjil, he's also my friend," pakilala sa akin ni Azul do'n sa lalaki and giggled after.

I smiled a little because I was a bit uncomfortable with the situation. First time ko atang mareto.

"Hi, nice meeting you," I uttered and offered my hand.

He flashed a handsome grin and held my hand to shake it. "Same here, pretty."

Azul faked a cough and smirked. "Alis na ako ha? Have a good time together," mahulugang dagdag niya pa at iniwan niya na kami pagkatapos.

I didn't know how to act at first, pero si Finn na ang nagdala ng buong pag-uusap. He's good-looking and nice too, but I found him boring. Puro landi lang siya which is not my type. Nakinig na lang ako sa kwento niya. Halos buong buhay niya ata na-share niya na.

That night ended peacefully. Hindi na ako nakisaya sa kanila pagkatapos kasi wala ako sa mood. Nauna na lang ako sa itaas para matulog.

"Hoy Amara,"

"What?" I asked Vien without glancing at her. I was busy scrolling through my feed. Naisipan ko lang buksan ang social media accounts ko kasi nabored ako. It's been months since I last opened them. Dolly's with Okin at si Kala nagsho-shopping to erase her boredom.

My hands stopped scrolling when I saw a post from Yacey. Gahala was tagged too. It looked like they were having a date kasi nasa isang resto sila.

Matagal akong napatitig do'n, pinapakiramdaman ang sarili ko. There was a slight twist in my heart again. Hindi ko pinansin ang nararamdaman ko and reacted with a heart on it.

"Huh?! Niheart mo?! Bakit?!"

Napatalon ako nang kaunti sa aking kinauupuan nang biglang sumigaw si Vien sa tapat pa mismo ng tainga ko.

"What the hell?" I shrieked and irritatedly looked at her pero hindi man lang natinag.

"Bakit mo hineart?! Kaheart heart ba 'yon?!" reklamo niya. "Parang tanga pa yang si Yacey! Post nang post ng picture nila ni Gahala. Pinapaselos ka ata e wala ka namang pakialam! Ulol!"

I shook my head. "Wala naman." I whispered. "They deserve to be happy."

Pinaningkitan niya ako ng mata. "Tanga ka ba?! Hindi nila deserve maging happy pagkatapos ng ginawa nila!"

"Hayaan mo na," walang gana kong sambit. Pagod akong pag-usapan si Gahala. Nakakarindi. It's already in the past.

She stared at me for a long time so I raised my brows at her. "What?"

"Post ka din ng picture mo!"

My brows furrowed, "Why?"

"Wala lang! Panampal lang sa kanila na okay ka na! Na wala kang pakialam!" she said and grabbed my phone from me.

"Vien," reklamo ko saka sinubukang kunin sa kaniya lalo na nang makita kong nagscroll siya, may pinindot saka may tinatype.

Tinalikuran niya talaga ako para hindi ko makuha! Inip tuloy akong humalukipkip habang tinitingnan siya.

Nakangiting binalik niya sa akin ang phone nang tapos na siya. "Huwag mong idelete 'yan ha! Lagot ka sa akin!"

I frowned and looked at the post she made. Picture ko 'yon nang nasa Boracay kami. Hanggang bewang ang kuha at nakabikini ako. May sunglasses sa ulo ko at may hawak akong buko juice. I'm looking at the camera without any reaction but gesturing a peace sign.

Keleya Amara Tiexiera
Never been free ✌

P.S. Looking for a partner. Pm kung same. Charot.

What the hell. Napairap na lang ako nang mabasa ang caption. I immediately edit it out kasi may nagcomment nang iba! Binura ko yung P.S. saka ang kadugtong non. Tanga talaga si Vien.

Dinumog iyon ng react at comment pero tinatamad akong mag-reply kaya hinayaan ko na. I looked at my notifications kasi panay ang tunog ng cellphone ko after a long time. My brows furrowed when something caught my eye.

Gahaldon Jammes Silva reacted heart on your picture.

My lips parted a little and I didn't know how to react. I blinked and read it several times. Tiningnan ko pa talaga sa reactions kung nag-react ba talaga siya. Baka kasi napindot niya lang at binawi din kaagad! Confusion took over me after seeing his name on the list of people who reacted to my picture.

"Huh?! Hineart ni Gahala?!" Vien reacted while looking at her phone. Parang minomonitor niya doon ang nagcocomment at siya pa ang nagrereply! " Ang kapal naman ng mukha niya! Parang walang girlfriend a!" she hissed. "Mga galawang manloloko talaga!"

"Baka namali lang ng pindot. H'wag mo ng pansinin," sambit ko sa kaniya kahit bothered din ako. Iniling ko ang ulo ko at pilit na hindi iniisip 'yon.

"Ang daming nagcocomment na gwapo bhe! May iba akong napili! Chattin mo ha!" Hampas niya sa akin.

Tumango lang ako kahit hindi ko naman talaga gagawin. Gusto ko lang na tumigil siya.

"Kung ayaw mo, sabihin mo lang! Sarili ko na irereto ko!" Tawa niya. "Gosh , type ko 'tong Arki na 'to. Akin na lang 'to Amara, may iba pa naman dyan!"

"Fine," walang pakialam na sambit ko

"Ay! Nagchat pala si Azul! Punta daw tayo sa birthday niya ha!" biglang sambit niya. " 'Yan ang gusto kong sabihin sa 'yo kanina pero nadistract ako. "

"Kailan?"

"Next next week pa!" she grinned.

Tumango lang ako saka pumunta sa kwarto kasi magre-review pa ako. I was in the middle of doing it when I was interrupted by sudden notifications. Sunod-sunod kasi.

"Seriously?" I irritatedly looked at Guerrero's messages. Hindi naman importante.

Guerrero:
Hi ;)

Guerrero:
what are u doing?

Guerrero:
saw your posted pic, you look pretty

Guerrero:
I saw the unedited one as well...you were looking for a partner?

I sighed and typed for a reply. I don't even know why I am explaining to him. Ayoko kasing akalain niya na may chance na siya sa akin.

Amara:
My friend was just pranking me. I'm not looking for a partner. Really.

Guerrero:
Okay. Just tell me if you're looking for one.

Napapikit ako ng mariin. I have this urge to just ignore him pero naiinis na naman ako sa kaniya. Gaano ba siya kamartir para magbulag-bulagan? Hindi ko nga siya gusto! Mahirap bang intindihin 'yon?!

Amara:
That won't happen anytime soon. So please, just stop. Pinapahirapan mo lang sarili mo.

Listen to me while I'm being nice!

Guerrero:
I don't want to. I told you, I like you Amara.

God! I hate how I can see his facial expression while reading this! Gigil akong nagtype ng reply. Wala nang consideration sa nararamdaman niya this time dahil gusto niya talaga ata ng realtalk e!

Amara:
At ilang beses ko ding sinabi sa 'yo na wala akong pakialam, okay! Kaya tigilan mo ako!

Guerrero:
And I don't care too. I'll keep pursuing you
hanggang sa... lumambot ka sa akin.

I sighed deeply, trying not to snap my tiny patience. Damn. I don't have time to entertain shits.

Hindi ko na sana siya papansinin pero nabasa ko ang sunod niyang chinat. I gritted my teeth. Ramdam ko ang pagpitik ng sintido ko.

Guerrero:
Is it because of your ex?

Amara:
How did you know about him?

Guerrero:
Somebody told me.

Guerrero:
I... can help you forget about him. You can use me.

It annoyed me.

Amara:
Mukha bang hindi pa ako nakamove on?!

Guerrero:
I don't know...

Guerrero:
Did you already move on?

Amara:
I did!

Guerrero:
Are you sure, Amara?

Guerrero:
Maybe you did move on but not until you saw him again. Moving on is different from indifference. It's different from being numb to the pain.

Napaawang ang labi ko saka napatawa ng sarkastiko. Wow. This guys has the audacity huh.

Amara:
Ano bang alam mo? Saka bakit ka ba nanghihimasok? Please lang, huwag kang makisali kung wala ka mula sa umpisa, okay? Nakakairita 'yang pagiging pakialamero mo. Tigilan mo ako, pwede?

That's the last thing I said before blocking him. I know that's kinda harsh but he's already below the belt. He should mind his own business.

"Are you okay? Do you want to leave?"

"Okay lang ako," usal ni Dolly sa tanong ni Kala. "Bakit naman tayo aalis?"

Kala crossed her arms, "Bakit tayo aalis, you say? Ask yourself, Dolly. You look so betrayed right now. Just what the fuck? I already warn you, didn't I? I told you not to go around eating your words after saying it!"

Dolly rolled her eyes. "Ano bang pinagsasabi mo ha? Sinasabi mo bang may gusto ako kay Okin? What the hell. You're overthingking! Magflings lang kami, okay?" naiirita ng sambit niya pa.

I frowned. We're out to buy gifts for Azul, but they ended up fighting. Nagsabunutan pa sila bago magbati. Hindi na nahiya sa mga nakatingin.

"Boo!"

"Ay, puke!"

Napatingin kami sa natatawang lalaking nanggulat kay Dolly. It's Okin again. Ang dami pang ganap bago pa kami nakabili ng susuotin. Ang aarte kasi nila. Nauurat na ako kasi panay ang landian ni Okin saka Dolly. Sa harapan ko pa talaga. Mukha silang tanga.

Napatingin ako ng matagal kay Okin. He looked at Dolly and stared. He smiled when he saw Dolly laughing with our friends. My brows raised at that.

Flings huh?

Nawala lang ang inis ko sa kanila kasi nilibre kami ng milk tea kaya okay na 'yon. Pwede na silang maglandian ulit sa harapan ko. Hindi na ako magagalit o maiinis.

"I forgot to buy something," sabi sa akin ni Kala at hinila ako. "I need your opinion on this. Wala akong mapapalang magandang komento galing kay Vien."

Kahit nagtataka ay sumunod ako. Dinala niya ako sa isang boutique na puro damit ang binebenta.

"For whom?" I asked her with brows furrowed as we skimmed through the clothes.

She giggled, "For myself of course! I need to look good for someone!"

Inirapan ko na lang siya saka sa kabila naghanap. Naaliw naman ako at nakahanap ng ilan. Hindi para kay Kala kundi para sa sarili ko.

"Do you have a large size for this?"

I stopped when I heard a familiar voice. Napaisip pa ako saka napailing kasi baka guni-guni ko lang.

"In this design Sir?"

"Yes,"

Napalunok ako at bahagyang nanginig ang kamay kaya nabitawan ko ang ibang damit na napili ko. I felt pairs of eyes looking in my direction because of that.

"Do you need any help?"

Parang nanlamig ako sa aking kinatatayuan nang maramdaman siyang lumapit. I forced myself not to throw him a glimpse.

"No," I sternly answered.

I felt him being stunned in his place after hearing my voice. Nanginginig ang kamay kong pinulot ang mga damit na nabitawan ko bago umalis nang hindi siya nililingon.

"Amara," he called, making me stop for a while. Umiling ako saka dali-daling umalis.

I kept cursing while walking closer to Kala. What the fuck was that?

Shit. After how many months, I heard his voice again and I didn't know how to react. His voice seemed new but familiar to my ears now.

I forced myself not to think about it, but it bothered me the whole time. I tried to calm myself. Okay na ako. Hindi dapat ako nagpapaapekto.

"Okay ka lang?" Kala asked with brows furrowed when she saw my reaction.

I smiled a little. "Yeah," I answered and laughed dryly.

I could feel his stares the whole time we were inside the store, but I didn't bother to look in his direction even once. Halos hilahin ko na nga si Kala paalis doon. Mukhang hindi man lang niya napansin ang ex ko.

Nakahinga lang ako ng maluwag nang makaalis na kami at umuwi. I busied myself para hindi iyon pumasok sa isip ko, pero minsan napapatigil na lang ako at iniisip ang nangyari.

Sure, ilang beses kong inisip kung sa paanong paraan ulit kami magkikita but damn, I never expected na magiging ganon 'yon! Yung mga dapat kong iact at sasabihin na pinagpraktisan ko pa, biglang nawala! Ang bobo mo, Amara!

Kahit alam kong hindi siya makakapasok sa condo namin, hindi pa rin ako mapakali. Bumangon ako sa kama at lumabas.

Kumuha ako ng beer in can sa ref at binuksan. I opened the veranda and the cold wind embraced me.

I took a sip and looked up at the dark sky. It's empty. I gazed at the city lights and I was drowned in my thoughts again.

Naisip ko na naman ang nangyari kanina. I cursed myself kasi gano'n ang inasta ko nang magkasalubong kami! I should have greeted him and smiled like I didn't care anymore! Damn it. I looked like a coward!

I sighed a little and turned to the side when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

"Naks. Anong minomoment mo dito?" nakangiting ni Vien at napatingin sa iniinom ko. Kinuha niya iyon sa akin saka siya ang umubos.

Hindi ko pinansin ang tinanong niya. "Saan ka galing?"

Napaiwas siya ng tingin saka tumikhim. Her ears turned a little red, so my brows arched.

"Kay Lamore lang,"  mabilis na sambit niya saka tinapik ulit ako sa balikat. "Tulog na ako. Ikaw din."

"Anong nangyari?" kulit ko. Sinundan ko siya papunta sa kwarto niya kasi parang may iniiwasan siya.

"Wala Amara," iwas niya ulit! Nakakaduda!

Natawa ako sa inaasta niya. "Tangina mo. Bakit ganiyan ka makaasta? Para kang babaeng hinalikan sa unang pagkakataon."

She stopped in her place and turned to me with widened eyes.

My lips parted at her reaction. "Tangina ka. Naghalikan kayo?!"

"Hindi! Putangina, kadiri!" sigaw niya saka ako pinagsarhan ako ng pintuan.

Nakaawang pa din ang labi ko habang nakatingin doon. Fuck. Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako dahil hindi ko maimagine.

I knocked on her door twice. "Vien, yung details please."

Ilang ulit pa akong kumatok pero hindi na ako pinansin! Ichichismis ko iyon sa dalawa para hindi siya tigilan at sabihin niya.

Days passed and I've been practicing how I should act if I see Gahala again. Hinahanda ko lang ang sarili ko para hindi na maulit yung nangyari!

The day of Azul's birthday came. Panay ang tingin ko kay Vien habang papunta kami sa venue at panay din ang iwas niya sa akin. Pinanliitan ko na nga ng mata.

Ang landi niya?!

"Omg! Fab!" Azul squealed when she saw us enter. She kissed our cheeks after we greeted her.

Nilagay lang namin ang gift namin at bigla na lang nawala ang mga kaibigan ko na parang bula. Napailing na lang ako kasi malamang nagkakalat ang mga 'yon.

"Hey," I smiled at Azul when I encountered her again.

She grinned. "Hey! Finn's there," she whispered.

I frowned at her. "Seriously? Para kang si Mama na binubugaw ako." Minsan ko lang nga 'yon nireplyan sa mga chats kasi tinatamad ako. I always reasoned out that I'm busy.

She just laughed and guided me to the table where Finn was. The guy immediately smiled and welcomed me after seeing me.

I moved uncomfortably in my place again when he kissed me on the cheeks. Pinaghila niya pa ako ng upuan. I was starting to feel discomfort kasi hindi ko naman kilala 'yong mga kasama namin sa table.

"You look so pretty tonight," he whispered in my ear, which made my hair stand up.

"Ugh, thank you," ngiting alanganin ko.

He was about to say something when someone tapped him on the shoulder. Sabay kaming napatingin sa lalaki.

"Finn, bro, did you see Gahala?"

Napantig ang tainga ko sa narinig. Gahala?

I pursed my lips and tried not to react. Don't be assuming, Amara. Hindi lahat ng Gahala ay siya.

"Hindi Tripp e, bakit?" Finn asked.

He shrugged. "Nothing. That motherfucker promised that he's going to pair me with someone." He glanced at me and then grinned like an evil. "Huwag kang maniwala kay Finn. Playboy 'yan."

"Panira ka ng diskarte!" the guy beside me hissed while laughing a little.

Nahawa ako ng kaunti at napanatag ang kalooban ko. Umalis din kaagad si Tripp matapos akong kindatan.

"Kumain ka na ba?" tanong ni Finn pagkatapos.

"Hindi pa."

He smiled and stand up. Tinulungan niya din akong tumayo at inalalayan. "Halika na, sabay tayong kumuha ng pagkain."

Tumango lang ako and I felt weird when he held me by the waist, pulling me closer to him.

Ang daming bumabati sa kaniya sa daan at ngumingiti lang ako. Minsan ay pinapakilala niya pa ako. Pakiramdam ko nga hindi kami makakarating sa mesang puno ng pagkain dahil sa kaniya.

"Sorry about that," Finn smiled cutely at me when we finally reached the table. Akala ko mamatay na kami sa gutom.

"It's fine," I smiled at him.

"What do you want?" he asked kaya nagturo ako.

Ang sweet niya sa part na siya ang naglalagay ng foods sa plato ko pero hindi naman ako nagpapadala. Playboy siya kaya sanay siya sa ganito.

"Finn Verjil," someone called.

I was stunned in my place when I heard that familiar voice again. I held my plate tighter kasi baka mahulog ko.

"Uyy, Gahala bro!" the latter greeted back enthusiastically.

Damn. Destiny is playing with me and he's definitely having fun. I gulped and sighed deeply before looking in their direction.

His eyes met mine for the first time after months. My heart twisted in a familiar manner after seeing him with his girl.

I bit the inside of my cheeks as an overflowing emotion struck me.

I hate his eyes the most. I hate how he stared at me right at this moment.

He's looking at me now like how he looked at me when our eyes met that day in summer in the four-cornered room of Mr. Lewol Apura.

And I'm looking back at him just the same as how I looked at him almost five years ago.

Just pure nothing, like he didn't matter at all.