CONTENT ADVISORY:

This episode contains depictions/strong implications of attempted suicide, as well as language that may trigger depression or anxiety. Please read at your own discretion.

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"Look at you sitting there like a scared puppy. Even from several chairs away, I can still smell the disappointment buried deep within you."

I flinched in my seat when Mama spoke in her mocking voice. I gripped my fork tighter, hinahanda ko na ang sarili kong saluhin lahat ng panunumbat nila. I admit, I really did mess up. First with the incident at Gahala's university, and now because I failed the second semester.

"Ano? Niloko ka?" may panunuyang tanong niya saka natawa. "Ang tanga-tanga mo kasi. Hindi mo ginagamit utak mo."

I gulped and kept my head down, feeling my cheeks heat. Bawat salitang lumalabas sa kaniya, para akong sinusuntok sa dibdib.

"We already warned you, didn't we?" paninisi niya pa. "But because you're stupid, naniwala ka naman sa mga pangako at kasinungalingan niya. Ayan. So, where are those promises now? Na hindi ka niya lolokohin? Na papakasalan ka niya? Ha?"

I hate Gahala, but I wished he were here to tell them that, for a time, our love was true. Na mali sila. Na sana nandito siya para ipagtanggol ako sa kanila at sabihin na minsan niya din akong minahal ng totoo. Naminsan niya ding nakita ang sarili niya...na pakasalan ako.

"I told you to prioritize your studies! Pero hindi ka nakinig kasi mahal mo siya. Kabobohan. Ano ngayon ang nangyari?! Bumagsak ka sa sem? Ha! This is unbelievable! Anak ng principal pero bumagsak?! The whole town is laughing at us!" She threw the utensils on the table angrily, making us all to jolt in our seats.

"And you even made a scene at your ex's school! You're involved in violence! Are you really that desperate? God, you're so pathetic! Kung lalandi ka sana ginalingan mo naman! Sana hindi ka nagpaloko! Look at the mess you made! You dragged us into it! We already told you not to run to us if he ruined you!"

"I'm sorry, Ma. I didn't expect to fail the semester," I trembled. "I didn't expect him to cheat on me. I didn't expect any of it."

"Did he take your virginity?"

I was speechless and looked at her with a horrified expression. "Ma—"

"Did he?" she asked again, laughing at my reaction. "Of course he did! And now where is he? He ran away, didn't he? Tanga tanga ka kasi."

That made me tear up. "Ma, minahal niya din naman po ako. Talagang...hindi niya lang sinasadyang magmahal ng iba. "

What I said made her laugh as if she had heard something utterly ridiculous. "Naririnig mo ba 'yang sinasabi mo, Amara? Kahit ngayon, hindi mo pa rin pinapagana 'yang utak mo. Gamitin mo naman 'yan paminsan-minsan. Minahal ka niya? Kung mahal ka niya, hindi ka niya lolokohin! Sabagay, kung ako naman sa posisyon niya, hindi ako magsesettle sa isang kagaya mo! On someone who's not that smart, someone who's not that pretty! I'll find someone better. Naghanap siya ng iba because you're not enough! That's the truth. He cheated on you because you're lacking. Why would he settle for someone who's a failure?"

Para akong sinasaksak sa mga salitang binitawan niya. She had already crossed the line.

"Tama na, Lilura," Dad intervened.

I stood up and looked at her. I tried to wipe my tears, but they kept flowing. Even my tears were betraying me.

"Instead of comforting me, sinumbat niyo pa sa akin! Oo na! Tanga ako! Bobo ako! Hindi ako matalino! Wala akong kwenta! It's my fault I got cheated on! I already know that! Huwag niyo ng isampal pa!" umiiyak na sigaw ko.

My outburst made her silent. She was flustered.

"Pero pwede isa-isa lang? Ma, sobrang hirap na hirap na po ako! Pagod na pagod na po yung anak niyo! Niloko na ako, bumagsak pa ako, nagkaroon pa ng gulo dahil sa akin na hindi ko naman ginusto! And instead of being there for me, nilunod niyo pa ako ng husto! Gusto ko lang namang magpahinga muna e. " Hagulhol ko sa harapan niya. "Hindi ko naman ginustong gaguhin e. O lukohin at pagmukhaing tanga! Hindi ko naman ginustong mapanganak na ganito."

Napatingin ako sa kaniya at, hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero bigla na lang akong natawa habang pinapahiran ang luha ko. "I'm a failure?" I laughed a little. "Ma, between us, you're the one who's a failure. Pardon my disrespectful words, pero wala kang kwentang ina. I'm disappointed in you. I expected so much from you." I even mocked how she always said those words to me.

Her eyes widened slightly, and she stood up. "You dared?!" She slapped me across the face. Pumaling ang mukha ko sa gilid pero natawa na lang ako na parang baliw. "Hindi kita pinalaking ganiyan! Wala kang galang kahit kailan!"

"Oh fuck," I laughed again. "Pinalaki niyo akong ganito, Ma. Kung ganito man ang ugali ko, kasalanan niyo 'yon kasi ganito niyo ako pinalaki." I looked at her and smiled bitterly.

"So, if I'm a failure, maybe it's your fault. Don't you think?" I asked her, chuckling. "You're the reason for all of this, Ma," I added mockingly. "You didn't teach me enough, that's why I became like this. Huwag mong isising tanga ako, kasi pinalaki niyo akong ganito. Siguro dahil tanga din ang paraan ng pagpapalaki niyo sa akin. "

"Stop it Keleya!" Puno ng awtoridad na awat ni Papa pero tiningnan ko lang siya.

"Hindi ako magiging ganito kung pinalaki niyo ako ng maayos! I'm only reflecting your actions. If I'm a failure, maybe it's because the one who raised me is also a failure. Does that make sense now?" I knew I was reversing everything, but I wanted to hurt them as much as they had hurt me.

Then I looked my mother in the eyes. "Just watch me. I’m not going to be a disappointment like you. I’m going to become everything you failed to be."

After saying that, I stormed out and slammed the door shut, making a loud noise. I was sure it made them jump a little in their places.

I'd never rebelled like that before, but I didn’t realize how satisfying and comforting it could be. Gumaan ang nararamdaman ko.

I felt inspired after speaking those words, but as soon as I began studying, I started breaking down again. Naalala ko na naman siya.

I curled up in my bed and cried myself to sleep again. Everything kept hurting and bleeding. Parang walang katapusan.

It felt like there were countless thorns piercing through me. Countless of knives stabbing me repeatedly. Naaawa na nga ako sa mata ko dahil humahapdi sa sobrang pag-iyak , but I couldn’t help but tear up everytime I remembered Gahala.

Those happy memories with him made me cry, and the sad ones felt like they were killing me.

I was caught in the midst of an abyss. I wanted to show my parents that I could excel, but I also wanted to mourn my broken heart.

I studied for three months. I dropped my failed subjects and registered for a summer class to catch up. Walang review na hindi ako umiiyak. Tinatambakan ko ang sarili ko ng mga gawain para hindi ko siya maisip, but sometimes I’d just stare off into space, and the tears would start flowing on their own.

I kept finding myself listening to his voice recordings to calm down, but it only made me cry harder because I knew the only peace I would find was in his arms.

Nakakagagong lang kasing isipin na matapos ang lahat-lahat, sa kaniya at sa kaniya pa rin ako tumatahan.

I feel hopeless because even the things I enjoy doing remind me of him.

I keep seeing him everywhere. Mula sa paggising, sa pagtoothbrush, sa pagkain, sa pagtulog, sa lahat-lahat.

I hear his laughter and see his smiles all around me. I remember his amusing jokes and promises. It feels like a constant reminder that I’ll never escape this. I’m stuck on him forever, and that terrifies me.

Wala akong ibang mapuntahan at matakbuhan. There are nights when I have nightmares of running away from him, but I can’t seem to escape. I keep running in the same place, not getting anywhere.

Natakot na akong matulog pagkatapos no'n. I stayed up for countless nights, refusing to go to bed unless I had sleeping pills.

Ngayong wala na kami ni Gahala, I realize how dependent I was on him. I got used to having him there to piece me together whenever I'm broken. Now that he’s the one who has torn me apart, I don’t know how to put myself back together. I don’t know how to live without him.

Ano ba ako bago siya dumating?

That question made me teary again as I felt another pang in my heart. Hindi ko na kasi maalala. He filled my life with his memories to the point that I can't look back anymore.

Sobrang sakit. Pakiramdam ko katapusan na ng mundo no'ng nawala siya sa akin. We built our relationship with us at the center, as if the world revolved around us. Binigay ko sa kaniya lahat-lahat, walang tira-tira. Now that everything has fallen apart, I’ve lost him and I’ve lost myself too.

Siguro nga tama sina Mama. Tama sina Papa. I should have prioritized my studies. If I hadn't paid attention to him back then, who would I be now? Am I still the same Amara I was years before he came into my life?

I have so many questions in my mind that I can’t answer. I think about them every day, carrying their weight with me.

And the funny part is, I want to get rid of this heaviness, but I'm afraid of giving him up too, along with everything we shared.

Ilang taon kasi iyon eh. Putangina. Paano ako makakaahon? Sobrang hirap. Sinusubukan kong bumangon pero lumalagapak at lumalagapak pa rin ako. Sa kaniya at sa kaniya pa rin talaga ako tumatakbo.

So how can I move on so easily? Kung akala ko siya na talaga. I had already planned everything with him, so how can I start from nothing and make new plans for myself?

Sometimes, I have these delusions that he’ll call me one day, crying and apologizing. I imagine him telling me he regrets what he did and that he can never truly forget me. He would say that he wants to come back because he can’t live without me.

I know those thoughts are ridiculous, but I get disappointed every time someone calls and it’s not from him. Isang tawag niya lang sana, tatanggapin ko siya ulit ng buong-buo.

On other nights, I see myself reading our conversations. I couldn't helped but cry because I can see how much he loved me. So why did things turn out this way?

Mahal na mahal niya ako e. Bakit nakuha niyang magloko? Ang mas masakit pa, habang ako umiiyak gabi-gabi, siya sobrang saya sa bago niya. Iniwan niya akong nalulunod mag-isa.

Pakiramdam ko isang tulak na lang sa akin mababaliw na ako. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako nagkamali. There are so many 'what ifs' and questions running through my mind that only he can answer.

Sinakal ko ba siya? Masyado ba akong naging maluwag sa kaniya? May hindi ba siya nagustuhan sa akin? Will he see me again if I become someone better? Will he hug me again if I get prettier? Will he return if I become smarter?

I always find myself lying in bed, tears streaming down my cheeks, wondering about these things. I feel so heartbroken. I want everything to end, but at the same time, I don’t.

"Amara, healthy pa ba 'yan?"

Mula sa pagbabasa ay napatingin ako kay Vien. Nakakunot na ang noo niya sa akin. "Umalis akong nagrereview ka, dinatnan kitang nagrereview pa din."

"Kailangan kong makapasa," maikling sabi ko sa kaniya saka bumalik ulit sa paghahighlight ng notes.

"Kailangan mo ding mabuhay gaga ka,"
Napaigik ako nang batukan niya ako.

"Ano ba," I irritatedly uttered when she grabbed my papers away from me. Sinubukan ko pa yung abutin pero nilayo niya talaga.

"Gusto mong uminom? Sama ka sa amin sa bar mamaya!" she suggested.

I shook my head and looked away, "Huwag na baka makita ko siya doon kasama ang bago niya."

I'm afraid of bumping into him. I don't want to see him with her. I'm scared of seeing him really getting us over.

She sighed. "Eh beach? Nagyayang magbeach si Kala tutal summer naman. Sama ka ng mainitan ka naman. Mukha ka ng multo o."

My heart ached when I remembered how the beach had become our place. "Ayaw ko din."

"Eh anong gusto mo? Gawin natin."

Ayan na naman siya. Bumuntong hininga ako, "Gusto kong mapag-isa kaya hayaan niyo lang muna ako. I'm still in the process of accepting it."

Bumusangot siya saka wala ng nagawa. Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin kaya natawa ako ng kaunti. She just left me alone when Lamore came into our condo and dragged her outside.

Napabuntong hininga ulit ako nang wala na siya. Vien's words brought the memories flooding back.

I locked myself in the room, but sadness seemed to follow me everywhere I went. It began to take shape and would sometimes just stare at me from the corner. At times, it would try to bother me, as if begging for an embrace. I grew increasingly afraid that it might swallow me whole, so I tried to escape. Yet, every time I looked back, it was still there, waiting for me to submit willingly.

Hapo-hapo akong napatigil sa pagtakbo nang maramdamang iba na ang naapakan ko. Napatingin ako sa ilalim at nakita ko ang buhangin.

Napatingala ako at agad akong sinalubong ng malakas na hampas ng hangin at madilim na tanawin ng dagat.

Unang tingin pa lang nagflashback na kaagad lahat. I gulped as I felt my eyes watering again a thousand times already since we broke up.

I gazed at the horizon and couldn’t help but move closer to it. I didn’t flinch when the cold sea water touched my feet. I felt a sense of peace as the ocean slowly swallowed me.

It was cold and blue, just like how I feel right now.

The water had reached my chest, but I somehow found comfort in the fact that I could barely breathe. Here, sadness couldn’t follow me.

I dipped my head down to the water and opened my eyes. I can't see anything except darkness. I can't hear anything except the sound of the waves.

I can feel myself drowning in my thoughts. What if I kill myself? Will the pain disappear? Will I be happy? Will Gahala come running back to me while crying and regretting everything?

Hindi ko na kasi kaya. It just keeps bleeding every seconds. Parang...ayoko na. Suko na ako. Gusto ko ng magpahinga sa lahat ng 'to.

I smiled and slightly closed my eyes, allowing myself to be swallowed by peace and silence.

"Gaga ka talaga! Bakit bigla bigla kang nawawala?! Kinabahan kami sa 'yo!"

I chuckled when Dolly welcomed me with a slap. I can smell alcohol from them. Mga galing sa bar.

"Do you know how nervous I was when I came back na bukas ang pinto ng condo at hindi kita mahanap ha?! Pati cellphone mo, iniwan mo!" sermon ni Vien, halatang iritang-irita siya.

"Sorry," nguso ko.

"At bakit basa ka ha?!" dugtong niya habang tinitingnan ako mula ulo hanggang paa.

"Naligo ako sa dagat," sabi ko sa kanila saka kinuha ang towel na binigay ni Kala.

"Ngayong gabi? Ng walang kasama?!" Dolly gasped, para siyang nahimasmasan sa pagkalasing.

Kala squinted her eyes at me with a look of nervousness. "You didn’t do anything... foolish, did you?"

I laughed softly and smiled at her. "It crossed my mind, but I didn’t act on it. I just wanted to find some peace and enjoy a bit of silence, that’s all."

"Tanginang peace and silence 'yan," hindi mapigilang mura ni Vien.

"It's fine. I'm fine. I'm okay. I'll be okay," I told them as they looked at me with concern.

"You're not okay, Amara. You're fucking depressed!" Vien exclaimed.

"Should we consult a psychologist?" Alanganing ngiti ni Kala sa akin. "Or maybe go for counseling? It might help."

I just smiled on her and shook my head. Wala namang mali sa akin. Talagang...nasaktan lang ako. Ng sobra sobra.

My summer classes continued, and I was relieved to see my grades improve. Dahil don, hindi ako naalis sa course ko. Yet, despite this achievement, I felt empty inside. Parang...wala na akong pakialam. Hindi ako masaya sa mga ginagawa ko.

Days passed like that, and the pain remained the same. I sighed as I walked toward my room. Pangatlong year ko na 'to sa college and ngayon ko lang kinuwestyon ang lahat. Tama ba 'tong pinasok ko? I somehow feel lost. Even studying for my dream profession now feels wrong.

I looked at the door as it opened. Our professor entered, followed by a guy. Napaupo naman kaagad nang maayos si Xenia na katabi ko saka napamura ng kaunti.

"Fuck, gwapo," she hissed, making our classmate laugh, narinig ang sinabi niya. The new guy smiled a little because of it.

"Good morning, everyone. I'm Mrs. Trinidad Salvaloza, and I'll be your professor for BEED 33, or as we commonly call it, Teaching Arts in Elementary Grades." Our professor introduced. "Before we start, I’d like to introduce this new student who will be your classmate for today. Please be nice to him," Ma’am reminded us.

"Sure Ma'am! Gusto mo paupuin ko pa 'yan sa kandungan ko!" Xenia teased and we laughed a little.

"Pwede rin, basta araw-araw kang tumayo sa klase ko," biro rin ng prof namin pero hindi si Xenia natawa.

"Joke lng, Ma'am! Hehe, peace."

Our professor shook her head and turned to the guy. "You can introduce yourself now."

The guy smiled at us, causing some girls to sigh dreamily. "Hi, I’m Guerrero Feirre Ocampo, 21 years old. I’m an irregular student, and I transferred here because my mother told me to. I didn’t actually have much of a choice." He shrugged and chuckled.

Some laughed at what he said, but I just frowned because he seemed boring. He further described himself, but I stopped listening and looked out the window instead.

"Sit beside Ms. Tiexiera,"

Napatingin ako ulit sa kanila nang marinig ang pangalan ko. Napangiwi ako nang makitang nakatingin sa 'kin ang mga kaklase kong babae, naiinggit.

"Bhie, palit tayong chair," pamimilit ni Xenia, kinalabit pa ako.

Tumango kaagad ako ng walang pag-aalinlangan. "Okay." Payag ko at aaktong tatayo na sana nang tumikhim si Ma'am na nakatingin sa amin.

"Where are you going, young Miss?" She asked with brows arched. Napaupo tuloy kaming dalawa ulit.

"Okay, now that that’s settled, please pass your index cards before we start the subject introduction." Kaagad silang nag-ugungan nang marinig ang mahiwagang index card. Napailing na lang ako saka pinasa yung akin.

Napatingin ako sa lalaking nasa harap ko nang tumigil siya at ginalaw ng kaunti ang upuan niya bago tumabi sa akin.

He sat up straight and turned to me when he noticed I was still staring. He smiled.

"Hi," he greeted, but I didn’t give him any attention. I looked away and frowned. "Tiexiera’s your last name?" he tried to start a conversation again. I heard his chuckles when I didn’t respond.

Hindi ko siya pinansin. Wala naman akong planong makipagclose sa kaniya. The last time I did, my life was fucking ruined.

Nakinig na lang ako buong klase. Si Xenia panay ang sulyap sa katabi ko na parang nando'n ang whiteboard.

"Bitch, sumama ka na pleaseee?! Pleaseeee." Halos pagmakaawa ni Kala. Yumayakap pa nga sa tuhod ko habang naglalakad ako. Ang aga-aga binulabog pa talaga ako.

I sighed because I know there's a possibility that Gahala will be there. Anniversary daw nina Peach and Florian, malamang nando'n iyon dahil tropa sila nila Florian.

I don’t want to see him, but I also want to. I still have a small thread of hope inside me. Aaminin kong umaasa pa din ako na...baka kapag nakita niya ulit ako, marealized niyang...mahal niya pa ako.

Kasi baka nalito lang siya noon. Kasi apat na taon 'yon e. I mean, you can't just fall in love with somebody that quickly, hindi ba?

Pumikit ako ng mariin. I sighed deeply and hesitated before answering. "Okay. Okay. Now let go of my leg."

"Yes!" she exclaimed, standing up with a victorious smile on her lips.

Inirapan ko lang siya bago pumunta sa sa dining table at tumulong sa paghain ng breakfast namin.

"Tuloy ba tayo doon mamaya sa party nina Peach at Florian?" tanong ni Vien habang punong-puno ang ng pagkain ang kaniyang bibig.

"Ugh, proper table etiquette Vien," saway sa kanya ni Kala.

"Alam ko! Bakit kailangan mong umungol?" Barumbadong tanong niya pabalik matapos lunukin ang pagkain. "Ugh~ Nalunok ko na."

"Kumakain tayo. Ayusin niyo nga ugali niyo," saway ko pero sino ba naman ako para pansinin nila, diba? I frowned, great.

"Paano kapag nandoon mamaya si ano?" maingat na tanong ni Dolly na nagpatigil sa amin. Sabay-sabay silang napatingin sa akin.

I gulped and pretended like I didn't care. "So what?"

"Edi gulpihin natin. Tanga lang?" Nakairap na sabi ni Vien at nagseryoso. "Huwag na lang kaya tayong pumunta. Nawalan na ako ng gana. Baka magkagulo lang mamaya."

I suddenly felt guilty kasi dahil sa akin gano'n ang gagawin nila. "Uh, no," sambit ko "We are going there, but I’m going to be late since I need to finish some work," I explained. My brows furrowed when my phone rang and Papa's name appeared. "Excuse me, I’ll just take this call," I said, and stood up.

Lumayo-layo ako bago sagutin. "Hello, Pa?"

"Can you come home later after school?"

"Why?" I asked. Wala ako sa mood makita ang mukha ni Mama.

"We have some visitors tonight. It's your Mom's friend, " he explained. "I heard she’s the President of your university, and her son is your classmate. Be here and show your gratitude. She’s the one who assisted in resolving the case at your ex’s university. "

I bit my lower lip when he brought up the past, "Yes, Papa."

The call ended after he received my answer. I sighed at napatingin ako kay Vien na nakasandal sa gilid na parang binabantayan talaga akong matapos.

"Huwag kang sumama," sambit niya, tinutukoy yung sa anniversary nina Peach and Florian.

Umiling ako. "Sasama ako."

"Sasaktan mo lang sarili mo doon! " giit niya.

"Okay lang ako. Kaya ko," ngiti ko sa kaniya.

"Nababaliw ka na ba, Amara?" inis niyang tanong.

"Kaya ko Vien," final na sambit ko.

She closed her eyes tightly and sighed. "Fine. Just make sure they won't do anything to you that will make me want to punch them again." Mariing sabi niya.

I smiled and nodded to assure her.

Kinakabahan na nga ako habang iniisip ang mangyayari mamaya. Nagprapractice ako sa salamin kung ano ang magiging reaksiyon ko kung sakaling magkita kami o kung ano ang posibleng sasabihin ko.

I was nervous but excited at the same time. My stomach would flutter whenever I thought about seeing each other again after months apart.

Just as Dad had said, umuwi ako sa bahay nong dinner. I was late because I had to finish some schoolwork before heading home.

I pursed my lips when I saw the new student sitting in one of the chairs and laughing with Papa. What the hell, anak siya ng President ng campus?

Our eyes met for a second, and he gave me a warm smile. Biglang naging maamong tuta ang mukha niya.

"Oh, here’s my other daughter. Keleya Amara, I bet you know her," Dad introduced.

I greeted the guests politely to avoid being impolite, then took a seat across from the man.

I could feel him looking at me, so I glanced back at him. He quickly averted his gaze and smiled at Papa. "Yes, Tito. She’s my seatmate."

"Good to know," Papa said with a smile, then changed the subject. "I heard you’re also into music?"

"Yes, Tito, he shrugged. "I used to be a drummer in our university music organization but  too bad I had to quit because my mother wanted me to focus on my studies."

"Your son is talented," Mama said to Mrs. Ocampo, our university president.

Mrs. Ocampo laughed. "I know. That’s why I can’t understand why he doesn’t have a girlfriend yet."

"What do you think, Amara?"

I stopped when Mama called me. I looked at her, and her eyes were glaring, warning me to be good.

"About what?"

"Guerrero,"

I look at the guy to examine him and he smiled again. Mukhang gusto niya ata yung lowkey bugaw na nangyayari, amp  "He's fine."

"You should date a guy like him," Mama hinted.

I smiled sweetly at her. "You told me to focus on my studies first, so I’m sorry. I can’t." I used her own advice against her."

"You're not that obedient to me," she countered.

Natahimik ang table namin dahil naramdaman ata ang tensiyon sa pagitan namin.

"Well, be happy and celebrate. I am now." I told her.

Papa cleared his throat and laughed nervously. They changed the subject afterward. I endured the rest of the dinner and quickly got dressed to leave.

"Where are you going?" Papa asked when he saw me, kaya napatigil ako.

I shrugged, "I have another schedule tonight."

"Is that important?"

"Yeah."

"Fine. Just Be careful in your way. " Wala na siyang nagawa kung hindi ang hayaan ako. Nagpalaam lang ako sa kaniya saka lumabas ng bahay. Napatingin ako sa gilid nang makitang naninigarilyo ang Guerrero.

"Where are you going?" he asked while I checked to see if I had forgotten anything.

"None of your business," I frowned at him and closed my bag ng wala naman.

He chuckled. "Alam mo bang mas gumaganda ka kapag nagsusungit? Kaya siguro inaaraw-araw mo."

Something twisted inside me at his familiar words. I looked at him, and for a moment, I saw Gahala’s face smiling at me.

I gulped and looked away. "Stop acting like we’re close. You’re nosy and annoying."

Iniwan ko siya doon at sumakay na sa sasakyan ko. I sighed to calm my nerves as I drove away. I quickly arrived at the club they mentioned. I was already feeling nervous as I walked in.

The loud music immediately greeted me. Madaming tao, but I spotted them right away. Couch kasi nila ang pinakamaingay, and  it looks like they were arguing.

My heart tugged when I saw Gahala, but it hurt even more when I realized he wasn't alone. He was with his girl, nakasandal pa sa kaniyang balikat.

All the hope I had earlier came crashing down. Pinaasa ko lang ang sarili ko. I shook my head with a bitter smile on my lips. I... never thought he would bring her.

Napalunok ako at bahagyang dinaga ang dibdib. Hindi ako gumalaw sa kinatatayuan ko pagkatapos ng ilang minuto para pakalmahin ang sarili ko at kumuha ng lakas para harapin siya...sila ng hindi ako nagmumukhang kawawa.

I sighed deeply before walking toward them. I gritted my teeth when I realized they were talking about me.

"Hi," I greeted, hoping they didn't notice the slight tremble in my voice.

"Oh! Amara!" Marwan shouted.

Napatingin sa akin ang lahat at nagdisplay ako ng pekeng ngiti. My skin burned when I felt his stare. I tilted my head to the side, and our eyes met for the first time in months.

I smiled bitterly as he quickly looked away, as if he couldn't bear to hold my gaze for more than a few seconds.

Nothing had changed about him. He still felt the same, but now with pain.

I chuckled sarcastically.

Isn't it sad? Meeting again after some time, and it's not the happy memories that make you remember him, but the pain he caused and how he treated you.