chapter three, oh so far from home.

NOT ONE STEP OUT OF KETTERDAM YET and Briar was already being shot at. She expected it once they got to the Ice Court but that hadn't even left their home turf and were already caught in a crossfire.

And of course, their one escape had been blown to pieces. It somehow managed to get even worse as Briar seemed like even more of a scared child than Wylan compared to the rest of the crew.

Briar Aldrich was never a violent person and the deeds she did rarely ever involved the need for a weapon, she was a girl of mind games, her weapon of choice was her words. Her kind of torture was mental and that cut deeper than any knife could.

Though even with that she wasn't stupid, she lived in the Barrel for Ghezen's sake, of course she carried a gun. She had only used it twice ( and miserably failed at it ) but she still carried it. The pistol was heavy in her hands, fully loaded with her finger on the trigger. Hidden behind a stack of large crates, completely surprised she hadn't suffered from a gunshot yet, she held the gun and looked around for a target to aim at. Watching Jesper on the other side take several down at one time was not helping the waning front of confidence she carried herself with, now weighted down with how helpless she thought she looked.

Her eyes had found a target, her aim was for his heart, she hit his upper leg.

At least I hit something.

And apparently it was more than enough with how he crumpled down in pain and from behind him, on top of a surrounding schooner, it gave Jesper the right angle to make the perfect shot through his head.

Briar squinted slightly when she noticed upon the ship besides the sharpshooter were some faces she had known, Dregs. Of course he had a backup. Briar was caught between relief and exasperation.

Coming back to reality Briar quickly remembered she was being shot at when a bullet flew right besides her, almost scraping her left arm with how close it had been to her and that was more than enough to get her back in the right head space.

Time seemed to be going far too slow for Briar's liking, even with the amount of dropping opponents it seemed they still weren't close enough to leaving for Briar to be even remotely comfortable with the idea of making it out of here in one piece.

It was almost as if Wylan had heard her internal worries, from the other side of the dock as within a minute of her concerned thoughts he had sent something flying down from the schooner and with a bright flash, sent the surrounding enemies blind for the moment being. 

It had given Briar just a moment of clear passage and a moment was all she had needed, within a blink she had run so far she had been close enough to the real Ferolind she could make out the detailing of the sails if she had wished too. Though it seemed maybe it was best for her to keep her eyes on the opposing side, only seconds later, during the one second she thought the grand escape was in sight, did she feel the searing pain that erupted in her right arm.

She forced herself to stay quiet in hopes not to more draw attention to herself but with the impact of the bullet, her gun had fallen from her hand and the thud that had come from it once it made contact with the ground, there was no avoiding that now.

She quickly scrambled behind yet another stack of crates and tried to apply pressure to her wound but all it did was make herself want to let out a painful cry even more. She did her best to stifle all sound from her as she heard a faint pair of footsteps come from behind the left side of the crates.

About a thousand thoughts ran through her mind, all leading back to the same thing. Grabbing the gun. It was in her line of sight, still on the ground, almost taunting her with the handle being turned towards her way as if it was waiting for her to pick it up.

But of course, no plan of hers seemed to end in her favor, by even moving slightly it'd give away her presence and she could possibly be dead before she could even reach for it and with her aim who knew if she'd survive even letting the bullet fly.

Temptation filled her senses by the second with the footsteps growing louder and before she could even think with her head, her instincts had overcome her and she lunged for the gun and somehow survived the way, pulling it up and finding the trigger within a second. Turning she tightened her grip and was ready to fire, only to be stopped once she made her full way around – "Briar!"

"Nina!" Briar had never felt so much relief.

"Saints your arm," Nina had realized, only to have her focus turned when hearing a gunshot far too close for comfort. "I'll tend to it on the boat, we have to go."

With a nod the two set off quickly and even with her heart pounding so violently she was sure Nina could hear it, Briar had seen an escape in sight.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Briar always had a love for the high seas.

Growing up she awoke to the breeze coming in from her window, always rising earlier than the rest of her family to head out to the dock to take it in as the sun rose from beyond the horizon. It didn't matter how rough the waters could've been on certain days, Briar couldn't turn down the refreshing gentle winds.

That, of course, was when she was a young girl full of hope and promising light that shone brighter than all of the stars above. Now all the breeze brought was a chilling reminder of how much had changed, filling her with a sickening sense she wanted nothing more than to bottle up and throw into the dammed ocean.

It reminded her of home and that alone was enough to drive her mad.

"You look more seasick than Helvar." His tone made her want to throw him overboard and hope a shark would consume him before he could make it back to shore.

"I don't get seasick," She retorted, she could feel his gaze travel, from the hole in her right sleeve that the bullet had flown through, the skin that had looked almost brand new now ( that Nina had healed to the best of her heartrender abilities ), to lingering upon her hands that were tightly gripped the railing. She felt it slip once she eased her grip, trying to prove she wasn't as nerved as she really was. "You tore a man's eye out and I had the utter misfortune of having to experience it."

"He deserved it."

"Of course he did," Briar had responded swiftly. "I just wish I hadn't been there to witness when karma came back around."

Briar had never been fond of blood and the goriness that came with it, it sent a shiver up her spine and made her want to hurl. She thought her time in the Barrel would've toughened her sensitivity to it, she was clearly wrong.

"And here I was thinking karma was your specialty," Kaz's remark clearly had been to evoke something out of her, it worked. Even though she wasn't facing him she tried her hardest to stop her face from contorting into obvious annoyance and tried to keep her fists from coming unattached from the railing and making contact with his face.

Kaz Brekker had always been a mystery to the Barrel. A myth of a dangerous man said to be a monster made of leather gloves and sharpened edges who committed only the most heinous crimes, and that alone was enough to catch Briar's curiosity. She learned as much as she possibly could about him but there wasn't enough on him for her to know.

The earliest trace of the infamous Kaz Brekker that she could find was when he popped up at age ten, in an arrest form of course, ( Briar thought that was very Kaz of him ) but besides that Kaz Brekker hadn't existed before. Whoever he had before was a mystery, Briar honestly wondered if maybe he was the first puzzle she couldn't piece together. But that couldn't possibly be true, Briar's pride wouldn't allow it to be. Maybe he was there, just surviving in silence, it was a lie she had told herself so many times it had become the truth. Yet, deep inside of her she knew better than that, Kaz Brekker would never come quietly.

So, when it came to reading him she pieced things together from the stories she had heard, the little details people had overlooked, things she picked up on when they passed each other on the streets, words she even overheard from his own Dregs, what she learned was only what she figured from an earshot.

But, the one thing that really got to her was that he seemed to know her more than she did him. Briar came to Ketterdam almost four years ago with a slate as clean as can be. And it was only the person Ketterdam came to know, even then that wasn't much. So how Kaz Brekker knew what he did about her was startling. The fact he knew she was the whisper was already enough, adding onto the fact he knows what crimes she's committed, ( really how had he figured it out when she made sure she had no attachment to? ) who she knew, where she lived and that he knew she lived with Selene, her routes on the stave, the names she swindled into nothing and now the fact she wanted to throw up when she saw the sight of blood.

He was almost a blank page and she was a worn out book he practically wrote himself.

Of course, there were few things about him she knew she could count on to be true, like now, he was digging for information. Knowing too much already and yet that still isn't enough for him? She wondered if he'd keep antagonizing her once this job was over.

"And I thought it was Inej's to be the one to collect secrets," Briar responded, trying to keep her body relaxed while she pushed out the thought of grabbing him by the collar and throwing him overboard. Maybe he'd find Oomen in the waters. "Seems you've taken over the mantle for her while she's out of commission."

"She has her Suli Saints to keep her alive," He spoke after a second of hesitant silence, a mixture of sarcasm and what Briar thought was almost hope in his voice. It seemed he noticed the twinge of sorrow in her voice. "But if you need extra insurance, I'm sure Nina will let you pray besides her."

The sarcasm in his voice was more prominent, it was as if Briar completely ignored it. Saint, it was a word Briar hadn't enjoyed hearing. At least not anymore.

Little Saint.

The saying had appeared in her mind, spoken out to her in that far too familiar voice, it wouldn't leave, her hands tightened so hard around the railing that she was afraid she'd break it with her bare hands. It took everything in Briar to resist letting the words of the dead and gone break her. She wouldn't let some stupidly common word become leverage for the bastard to use against her.

She let out a huff in hopes he'd just see the irritation she had for him being so sarcastic with Inej's situation and nothing else. Her eyes were trained on the waves, watching them come and go, she hoped they'd carry her thoughts of long ago away in the ocean breeze. "I don't believe in saints, Brekker." Briar told him. The next part was quiet, weaker, she'd be surprised if anyone but the sea heard her. "I haven't in a very long time."

If he had heard her, he hadn't made notice of it. "Then it seems we do have something in common, Aldrich."

And then he was gone. His footsteps were drowned out with the sound of the clashing waves before her but she simply felt his presence disappear, feeling that shift she knew restore back to reality. Leaving Briar alone with the sea and the promises of the person she used to be.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Briar was very stingy with her Ice Court plans and for good reason, she was getting her cut and she would keep her insurance for it as close as physically possible.

Of course Kaz wasn't exactly happy about her being as apprehensive as she with it, saying he had no reason to take them with her already on the ship, she called bullshit and slept with them tucked tightly away in her hands.

"Why aren't there names on anything?" Kaz asked as Matthias made his way over to the group that consisted of him, Briar, Wylan and Jesper. Briar finally let her hands release the plans for strategizing and Kaz was to use every second of it.

"For one," Briar started, "My contact doesn't know Fjerdan, you knew this since you clearly stalked them so I don't understand why you're asking stupid questions, and for two, if we're to get this right we need precise detailing and I couldn't exactly find a Fjerdan in Ketterdam who knows the Ice Court like the back of their hand on such short notice."

"You had two days." Kaz counteracted flatly.

"One of which I was running around gathering supplies for you, and the other I was pacing around my flat wondering how we'd survive this, let alone pull it off." Briar retorted quickly, "So I'm sorry if your-"

Wylan interjected her statement, pipping up with a suggestion. "Helvar should do it." He drew back when he saw Matthias' deathly glare. "I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me."

"No," Matthias stated bluntly.

"Here," Kaz spoke, turning his eyes away from Briar and tossing him a tiny, clear disk that gleamed in the light of the sun.

"What is it?"

"One of Raske's new inventions."

Wylan's head lifted, "I thought he did demo work."

"He does everything," Jesper noted.

"Wedge it between your back teeth," Kaz said as he handed the disks to Jesper and Wylan, only sliding Briar's over the table to her. Briar wondered if hers possibly had poison embedded in it. She wouldn't have been surprised. "But don't bite dow—"

Wylan clearly hadn't heard his words as he started to sputter and cough, his hands beginning to claw at his mouth. A transparent film spread over his lips as he descended into a panic. Jesper started laughing, Briar wanted to join him but her concern for the boy overtook and Kaz just shook his head. "I told you not to bite down, Wylan. Breathe through your nose."

Wylan took deep inhales, his nostrils flaring heavily. "Easy," Jesper cautioned. "You're going to make yourself pass out."

"What is this?" Matthias question, he was the only one besides Briar who hadn't inserted the disk into his mouth.

Kaz pushed his deep into his mouth, "Baleen. I'd planned to save these, but after that ambush, I don't know what kind of trouble we may run into on the open sea. If you go over and can't come up for air, wiggle it free and bite down. It will buy you ten minutes of breathing time. Less if you panic," Kaz then looked towards Wylan and gave him another piece of baleen. "Be careful with that one."

From then his gaze traveled back to Briar, "I haven't poisoned it."

"Am I supposed to believe that?"

"It's smart that you don't," Jesper snarked, earning a glare from Kaz.

His gaze came back to Briar, an almost challenging brow was raised in her direction. His gaze was burning, it made Briar feel weird. With a short breath she picked it up and only after a suspenseful pause did she insert it, she waited for a moment just to see if maybe she'd start to feel lightheaded or feel her body begin to shut down, or just any signs Selene always told her to look out for if she felt she was ingesting something dangerous, but nothing came.

"Happy?" Kaz's tone was as sarcastic as ever.

"Delighted." Briar's sardonic grin caused him to roll his eyes.

Kaz averted his attention back to the main goal and tapped the Ice Court plans. "Names, Helvar. All of them."

Briar sat down and made herself comfortable. It was almost painful to watch how reluctant Matthias had been when giving up the names of surrounding buildings and roads, though she presumed giving vital information about the country you grew up in made that way. There was a slight pause in his pen every starting letter, the almost unnoticeable creasing of his brows, his glower fighting from directing itself into a frown, if Briar hadn't reminded herself of the money at hand she would've considered feeling bad for him.

Briar's eyes flickered over to Kaz, noticing how he observed the Fjerdan. It seemed he also noticed the small tells he gave. "You're holding back,"

"I'm telling you what I know."

"Your conscience is interfering with your memory." Kaz probed, "Remember the terms of our deal, Helvar."

"All right," Matthias started, his anger visible. "You want my expertise? Your plan won't work."

"You don't even know my plan."

Briar thought for a moment, does anybody on this ship know? She wouldn't have been surprised if no one did.

"In through the prison, out through the embassy?"

"As a start." Kaz affirmed.

"It can't be done. The prison sector is completely isolated from the rest of the Ice Court. It isn't connected to the embassy. There's no way to reach it from there."

"It has a roof, doesn't it?"

"You can't get to the roof," Matthias contended. "The drüskelle spend three months working with Grisha prisoners and guards as part of our training. I've been in the prison, and there's no access to the roof for exactly that reason – if someone manages to get out of his cell, we don't want him running around the Ice Court. The prison is totally sealed off from the other two sectors in the outer circle. Once you're in, you're in."

"There's always a way out." Kaz declared, then pulling the prison plan from Briar's stack of schematics. "Five floors, right? Processing area, and four levels of cells. So what's here? In the basement?"

"Nothing. A laundry and the incinerator."

"The incinerator."

No way. Briar let her gaze narrow in on the bastard. There's no way he'd make Inej do that after being stabbed.

"Yes, where they burn the convicts' clothes when they arrive. It's a plague precaution but—" Realization hit Matthias like the crash of a wave. "Sweet Djel, you want us to climb six storeys up an incinerator shaft?"

"When does the incinerator run?"

"If I remember right, early morning, but even without the heat, we—"

"He doesn't mean for us to climb it," Nina interjected, emerging from below deck.

"Who's watching Inej?" 

"Rotty," Nina replied, "I'll go back in a minute. I just needed some air. And don't feign concern for Inej when you're planning to send her climbing up six storeys of chimney with only a rope and a prayer."

"The Wraith can manage it." Kaz shrugged.

"The Wraith is a sixteen-year-old girl currently lying unconscious on a table." Nina asserted. "She may not even survive the night." They were grim words, true, but grim.

"She will," Kaz brushed her words off, he seemed to be certain Inej would survive. Briar wouldn't put it against her, the Wraith was one of the most resilient people in Kerch, probably in the world if she wished to be, but not a single twinge of doubt? Even Kaz Brekker was capable of that.

"Why are we talking about scaling chimneys when we've got a bigger problem?" Jesper interjected while picking up his rifle.

"And what's that?" Kaz already knew, Briar found it stupid to pretend he didn't.

"We have no business going after Bo Yul-Bayur if Pekka Rollins is involved."

Briar's brows lifted quicker than she would've liked. Since when was he involved?

"Who is Pekka Rollins?" Matthias asked, his Fjerdan accent made him sound like he was choking on sometime while pronouncing it. It was the only thing about this conversation that made Briar want to laugh but once that washed away she remembered there was nothing funny about this.

Wylan visibly shuddered. "Only the biggest, baddest operator in all of Ketterdam. He has money we don't have, connections we don't have, and probably a head start."

Jesper nodded. "For once, Wylan is making sense. If by some miracle we do manage to spring Bo Yul-Bayur before Rollins does, once he finds out we're the ones who beat him to it, we're all dead men."

"Pekka Rollins is a Barrel boss," The seething tone in his voice was almost undetectable. Almost. "No more, no less. Stop making him out to be some kind of immortal."

Briar kept her gaze on the plans, hoping that Kaz wouldn't know she was going to hold those words close. There was almost more to know about Kaz Brekker, Briar wasn't one to pass up on that. But even with the possibility of leverage on her mind, she knew vengeance blinded those who let personal vendettas interfere. Briar hoped whatever Kaz's was with Pekka Rollins wouldn't cost them this money and more importantly, her identity.

Jesper leaned back and spoke, "You think Per Haskell is going to back you when he finds out you crossed Pekka Rollins? You think the old man wants that war?"

Kaz shook his head. "Pekka Rollins didn't come into this world dressed in velvet and rolling in kruge. You're still thinking small. The way Per Haskell does, the way men like Rollins want you to. We pull off this job and divvy up that haul, we'll be the legends of the Barrel. We'll be the crew that beat Pekka Rollins."

"Maybe we should forget approaching from the north," Wylan contributed. "If Pekka's crew has a head start, we should head straight to Djerholm."

"The harbour will be crawling with security," Kaz dismissed. "Not to mention all the usual customs agents and lawmen."

"The south? Through Ravka?"

"That border is locked down tight," Nina noted.

"It's a big border," Matthias interjected, seeming to take almost an offense to Nina's words.

"But there's no way to know where it's most vulnerable," Nina counteracted, "Unless you have some magical knowledge about which watchtowers and outposts are active. Besides, if we enter from Ravka, we have to contend with Ravkans and Fjerdans."

"We enter from the north as planned," Kaz said.

Jesper knocked his head against the hull, "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."

There was a ghost of a smile on Kaz's face. "I'll just hire Matthias' ghost to kick your ghost's ass."

"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias scoffed primly.

Briar wondered if she would be the next to lose her marbles.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

g speaks!

Literally finished all of my exams yesterday and immediately got to writing this, also some backstory starts to reveal, Briar cannot use a gun for the life of her and Briar has ulterior motives but what's new tbh :)