you are poison

"oh fuck you, Pope. you won't always be the smartest person in the room." I smirk as he gives me the death glare. Pope and John B has been arguing about something to do with new surfboards, causing me to zone out and daydream. "maybe one day one of us will be even smarter than you."

"well it won't be JJ that's for sure." Pope snorts as he laughs, causing Kiara and John B to laugh with him. I glance over at JJ, not even letting a chuckle pass my lips as I look at the boy who wouldn't look at me.

"you never now who it could be, don't count JJ out." I say before standing up from the dock and leaning against a post instead. my mind wanders to my plans for today, and while I wish I could just stay here for now, I have to go help Sarah pick out a dress. "well, I should get going now. it's a long walk to the figure 8."

"I'll drive you." JJ offers suddenly, looking to John B for approval. his best friend tosses him the keys to his van and part of me wants to protest. I figure I'll just have him drop me off down the road from the Cameron's so no one will see.

we walk to the van in silence, and even start the drive in silence. "thank you for offering to drive me, you didn't have to do that." I tell him while looking out the window.

"of course, it's no problem." JJ replies, and I notice the tight grip his hand has on the steering wheel. I take note of the veins popping out from his arms, and his tense muscles as well.

"are you okay?" my question seems to catch JJ off guard, because his mouth just slightly opens but he doesn't say anything. "did I say something while I was drunk?"

"no, no you didn't do anything." he shakes his head before looking at me. his ocean blue eyes look somewhat sad, and I can't decipher if it's towards me or something else going on. "just be safe in the figure 8 alright? for all of us."

I raise an eyebrow at his statement, before deciding to shake it off. I'm sure the pogues just don't like the idea that I hang out in the figure 8. when I see the big house around the corner, I put my hand on JJ's arm and tell him to stop here.

"I can't have anyone seeing us and coming after you, or any of the others. you know they won't do shit to me, but I couldn't stand it if they went for any of you." JJ nods in understand while putting the van in park next to the curb. "thank you again, JJ."

"just promise me you'll stay safe when you're not with me. or any of the others." he stutters over the words, and I smile at him.

"I promise." I reply as I get out of the van. when he pulls away I start walking towards the Cameron's house, praying that I don't see Rafe today.

"Olyvia Jones." Topper suddenly comes up behind me, practically from out of nowhere. immediately I knew I was in deep shit, and I curse under my breath before looking at him standing in my way. "how's your little pogue friend?"

"why don't you fuck off Topper. Sarah's ass is calling." I growl, shoving past him to walk away, but he grabs my arm to stop me. "listen, easy bake oven. I really do not want to punch you, but I'll enjoy it." it was true, the idea of letting loose on Topper Thornton really did make me smile on the inside. the asshat deserved it.

"you can't just do what you want, Olyvia! Rafe practically owns you now." Topper snaps, gripping onto me tighter to reinforce his words. I rip my arm from his hand and cross my arms in annoyance, before finally pushing past him.

"I'm not Rafe's little kook queen so tell your friends."

I quickly walk to the house, wanting to avoid running into anyone else. "Olyvia, you're late!" Sarah exclaims from the stairs when I walk through the door. when she sees the anger on my face, she gives me a worried look. my eyes catch Rafe coming towards me, and I sigh, realizing it was just one thing after another so far.

"let's just go look at your dress options." I act like I don't see Rafe as he gets closer, at least within earshot of us. "your boyfriend is a bitch and I sure know who taught him how to treat women." part of me wanted my words to hurt to Rafe, and I assume they had that effect because he stops in place. before I follow Sarah upstairs I glance at him standing in the doorway, and when our eyes meet I feel a wave of hurt wash over myself. that was definitely the opposite of what I wanted.

once we get upstairs to Sarah's room, she shuts the door behind us and starts pulling out dresses. I wonder if she is going to grill me on what I said downstairs, or if she's waiting until the right moment. or maybe she just doesn't care.

we spend the next thirty minutes going through multiple dresses, both from her closet and online, trying to find the perfect one. there was a lot of "too slutty" or "not slutty enough", with a little "that's not the right color" mixed in. the whole time I was on the edge of my seat waiting for the conversation.

finally, Sarah shuts her laptop and turns to me. "okay, what the hell is going on?" she demands as I lie back on her bed with mental exhaustion.

"haven't you heard? I'm supposed to be Rafe's little bitch. and yet the second I deny it he turns on me and makes me feel like shit." memories of his words from the party flash through my mind, and the hurt feeling grows in my chest. it felt like it threatened to overflow and explode.

"um, maybe because my brother has had feelings for you since we started high school?"

my body flies up from the bed and I stare at her with confusion. "no fucking way. there's absolutely no fucking way." I rack my brain through practically every interaction Rafe and I have had in at least the past few months, and sure we always had a little flirty banter going on but he always acted like an ass anyways. "Rafe doesn't have feelings for anyone."

"anyone except you, Lyv." Sarah says quietly, sitting down next to me on the bed. I'm sure I look like a dumpster fire right now. staying at John B's provided no rest only a hangover, the interaction with Topper had me fuming mad, and now this?

"I have to stop this." I whisper, mostly to myself but to the universe too. god, if you're listening, now would be the time to do something.

"how? how are you going to stop someone from having feelings for you?"

by doing something absolutely stupid.

————

by the time I biked to the chateau, part of my anger and confusion had worn off, but the crazy idea still wasn't gone. I knew the pogues were throwing a kegger tonight, which explained why the house was empty, so I quickly changed into a clean outfit and got back on my bike. if I was going to calm down, I desperately needed to be intoxicated.

the party was already in full swing when I got to the beach, so I hid my bike and immediately started walking to find my friends. and of course, I see JJ, Kiara, and John B handing out the beers. JJ was probably taking shots from the hose every now and then knowing him.

"hey, there's our girl!" John B yells when he sees me, already holding out a beer. I push past the tourons in line to get it and go stand by JJ. when I start chugging the drink, the three of them stare at me with raised eyebrows. "should we even ask?"

"I beg you not to. at least not until I'm wasted." I reply, shaking my head as I continue drinking. the beer isn't the absolute best, but it should get the job done.

JJ hands me another beer only seconds after I finish my first one, and I slow down a little but still drink quicker than normal. "how fucked up are you looking to get, Lyv?" he asks me quietly, not letting the others hear him. when I shrug, I watch as he pulls out a tiny bottle of none other than tequila. "I snagged this while got the kegger, just in case you decided to show up."

"this is so much better than an engagement ring."

that makes JJ's body shake with a loud laughter, one I need to hear right now. "damn Lyvia, sometimes I forget just how funny you can be." he teases, knocking my arm with his. we both take another drink from our cups, before I down the tiny tequila bottle. "maybe you should take it easy tonight."

he was right. if I was going to something stupid, I didn't want anyone to chalk it up to my being drunk. just a little buzzed would be enough for me. "you're right."

"did you just say JJ was right?" Pope questions as he walks over to us. I nod, making JJ grin. "I think hell has frozen over."

"oh give him some credit, Einstein." I roll my eyes at him, looking towards JJ to let him know I had his back. sometimes he had great ideas, even if other times they were terrible. he always followed through with everything though, and I don't remember the last time JJ let anyone down.

————

the party lasted for a few more hours, way past sundown. people were beginning to leave, meaning my job to pick up trash cups had begun. both me Kie switch off on the task every kegger they have ever thrown, mostly because we know the boys would just leave it all. I'm picking up empty red solos when I hear a low whistle.

when I look up I find Topper, Kelce, and Rafe. at first glance, I was shocked Sarah wasn't with them before remembering her event, then I question why Topper wasn't with her. "well if it isn't the three stooges, out for a late night stroll." I say as I tip an imaginary hat.

"let's go, Lyvia, I'm taking you home." Rafe tells me while coming closer and grabbing my hand. I quickly take it out of his grasp and back up. "please don't make this more difficult for me."

"difficult how? you want nothing to do with me remember?" I snap as I start to feel hot tears welling up. both Kelce and Topper look at Rafe with confused faces, and I let out a low chuckle. "oh, you didn't tell your bffs how you made it clear you didn't give a damn about me?"

"I was just mad and you know it, Lyv."

"no, I don't know it Rafe!" I shout before letting the bag of cups go and pushing his chest in frustration. "how the fuck am I supposed to know when you act like an asshole? when you say shit like that when you're angry, how am I supposed to know what's real?"

"we can talk about this later, can we just go home, Olyvia?" Kelce adds, trying to deescalate the situation.

"you're making me think that what they say about you is true." the words come out quiet, but Rafe hears them loud and clear. I can see the tears in his eyes now, and I know they match my own. "you are poison, and I don't have the antidote."

before any of them can say anything else, I storm off towards the pogues, who hadn't been paying any attention as they were dealing with any stragglers. when I reach them and turn around, Rafe and his friends were gone. "hey, are you okay?" Kiara puts a hand on my arm, making me flinch.

"yeah, just saw something I guess."

————