dreams of shipwrecks

"JJ, can we talk before we go surfing?" I ask the blond as Pope walks ahead of us. He gives me a tiny nod and falls back to meet my stride. "Are we sure that pulling the plug on Topper's boat was the best idea? Pope has his scholarship to think about."

"If anything happens because of it, I'll take care of it." he reassures me before placing a quick kiss on my head. I scrunch my nose in disapproval, not really trusting his assurance.

"I don't like it, JJ. we know what Topper is capable of-"

"you mean Topper and Rafe." JJ cuts me off, watching my reaction to the kook king's name.

my mind flashes back to what happened earlier, and it still gave me a chill down my spine. then again, I saw something in Rafe's eyes when he looked at me. guilt, maybe, but it could have been fear of getting snitched on all the same.

"we got our payback. let's just leave it at that." I tell him, hoping he doesn't notice my blatant side step of the name. "I'd rather just mind my own business."

"mind your own business? they beat Pope to a pulp, Lyv. you saw it. how can you just stand there and-"

"because I'd rather not fight it. you forget where I come from JJ." I snap, my face beginning to turn red. he wanted to preach about pogues versus kooks, didn't he once consider me the latter? "if you want an all out war with kooks then maybe I should look into moving out of my damn house."

he goes silent, and by this point we've caught up to Pope. JJ's mouth opens and closes as he tries to find the words to say while Pope just avoids all eye contact.

"y'know what, I'm too tired for the beach today. I think I'm going to go home." I mutter before grabbing the handlebars of my bike and getting on. JJ still doesn't say anything. part of me wonders if I hit a nerve, or if he truly was done with me. "text me when you actually have something to say."

————

I didn't want to go home, but I also didn't want to go the chateau either. truthfully, there was nowhere for me to go without the pogues. the only friend I even felt like looking at right now was Sarah.

maybe I'd live to regret going to Tanneyhill.

"Sarah?" I call out, looking up the stairs in the house. "are you home?" when there's no answer, I wander out back to see if I could find anyone else. No Ward, no Rose, no Wheezie. the house was completely quiet.

until I hear someone yelling. my heart stops for a second while I try to figure out where the sound came from. I run around in a panic; where in the hell did that come from?

"hello? who was that?" I yell as I sprint up the steps. Sarah's bedroom was completely empty, but I realized the only other bedroom it probably came from. "Rafe?"

his door was locked. I tried and tried to open it but no luck.

"Rafe unlock the damn door!" I shout, throwing my weight against the door. I knew it wouldn't do any good, but I had to try. "if you don't open this door I swear to god!"

the next time I launch myself into it, it opens a split second before I hit it. my body collides with the floor and I groan from the impact. when I look up I see Rafe staring down at me.

"what the fuck are you doing here?" he questions, raising an eyebrow at me. I scoff before sitting up on my elbows.

"I literally heard you yell just a minute ago, why didn't you open the door?" I emphasize the last you as he continues to just stare at me.

he offers his hand to help me up, and I take it while he pulls on me. "I had my earbuds in, I didn't realize you were here till I saw the door shaking. did you really think you were going to burst the door in?" he asks me once we are face to face.

"well yeah if I needed to."

"you would've done that all because you heard me yell from stubbing my toe?"

my cheeks heat up at the realization of what he was implying. I'm suddenly very aware of the fact that his hand was still holding mine. "I would do it for anyone." I tell him as I pull my hand from his. "I see now you're fine and don't need help."

"Lyv, can we please talk?"

"what is there to talk about Rafe? you beat the shit out of Pope." I growl, glaring at him. everything in me wanted to hate him. to be even more angry for what he did.

but I couldn't. I knew the boy standing in front of me. this nineteen year old boy who only ever sought his dad's approval.

"I'm sorry, Olyvia. I am so sorry, and I wish you had never seen that side of me." he says, reaching for my hand again. while my gut tells me no, I let him take it.

"that wasn't you, Rafe." I whisper. my chest tightens and I begin to feel emotional. "I was scared of you, and I've never been scared of you."

immediately, he wraps his arms around me. when my body meets his I let go of the tears that had been building up since I saw him standing over Pope.

"I will never, ever hurt you, Lyv." he squeezes me tighter as he says this. my fists ball up his shirt when I let out a sob.

"so much shit has happened, Rafe, and I don't know what to do about it." I cry into his chest, the weight of everything that's been going on crashing into me at once. "I just want my dad, that's all I want."

"oh, Olyvia."

————

I don't know how long I spent curled up in Rafe's arms crying. what I do know is that the whole time I could hear my phone ringing off and on, but I couldn't bring myself to answer it.

eventually, Rafe stops stroking my hair and pulls away. "are you okay?" he questions, cupping my cheek. "I have to meet some people but I don't want you to leave if you can't."

"meet some people?"

"yeah, just some business."

I nod, before getting out of his embrace and standing up. "yeah, I'm fine. you can go handle your business".

"come on, don't be like that." he says, his eyes pleading with me. for what, I don't know.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be bitchy." I apologize, pushing his hair back. his face softens and he smiles at me.

I'd missed that damned smile.

what did this change, though? would he still turn around tomorrow and do something stupid again? "I've got something to do anyways." I tell him, and we both walk out of his room together.

Sarah's bedroom door was now shut, leading me to assume she was home. I could hear Rose and Ward in his office talking, and music coming from Wheezie's room. no one noticed as we walked down the stairs.

it seemed nice to have a house full of people.

"I'll call you later?" Rafe asks as he opens the door with one hand, the other resting on my lower back. I nod silently as I grab my bike.

we part ways without another word. my mind races as I bike my way to the chateau, deciding not to tell anyone what happened.

————

by the time I meet up with the pogues, the sun has set and the breeze was cooling everything down. I found them all sitting outside enjoying the night. "are we partaking in a circle jerk now or what?" I joke as I walk up, causing Kiara to laugh.

"about time you showed up." John B says with a smile. neither JJ or Pope talk to me immediately, but JJ does reach his hand out for me. I take it and let him pull me into the hammock with him and Kiara.

"I'm glad you came over." JJ whispers in my ear before placing a kiss on my cheek. we both laugh when Kiara fake gags herself.

"you really think it's out there? like, no bullshit?" Pope asks John B, making everyone look at the latter.

"my father thought it was."

"but do you?"

"after hearing his voice on that tape... I think I do." John B answers, nodding his head as well. it was dark, but I could tell from his voice he was smiling just a tad.

"if John B believes then I believe." I tell everyone. "that's enough motivation for me."

"only one way to find out." says Pope before doing the pogue handshake with John B.

"look, we're gonna find it you know?" Kiara nudges me with her foot and I nudge her back playfully. I needed this with her right now. "even JJ believes."

"oh my god, JJ, do you really believe?"

"totally. wait, are we talking about four mil?" JJ was half paying attention, slightly dozing off while holding me. I chuckle to myself as I look at him.

"four hundred mil." everyone tells him in unison.

"I'm gonna dream about shipwrecks." JJ mutters before getting comfortable and pulling me closer. I snuggle closer to him and let his scent wash over me. "goodnight bird!"

"goodnight bird shit!" we all laugh at John B's reply, but JJ just throws his hands in the air.

that night, the pogues all slept together under the stars. dreaming of gold, shipwrecks, and going full kook.

————

on the boat the next morning, exhaustion controlled my body. I felt more like a zombie than anything. Kiara, Pope, and John B sat on the outside while JJ drove and I stayed near him.

everyone had loaded up the equipment earlier and we all talked about our hopes for everything to follow through.

"hey, Lyv? are we okay after yesterday?" JJ asks me as I look out at the water. I nod in response, not wanting to spend the energy on opening my mouth just yet. "good, just making sure."

and that was that. it wasn't hard with JJ, we had the mutual understanding that there was no reason to hide our feelings from each other. whether it was anger or anything else.

when we finally arrive at the coordinates, I breath a sigh of relief. JJ rubs my back to give me some comfort while the waves rocked the boat. "all right, JJ. pin it here." John B hollers through the door.

"roger that!"

"x marks the spot!" I add to JJ's reply while grinning at the blond. something about watching him drive the boat was so... attractive. god he looked hot.

"I look hot, huh?" so I said that out loud. JJ kisses me hard and fast, and we both smile into it. "you. me. later."

"quit your macking!" Kiara teases, making us pull apart. I roll my eyes at her but step out onto the back of the boat to watch Pope work his magic.

"all right ladies and gentleman. to going full kook." John B drops the drone into the water as we all stand by. I grip onto the side of the boat, ready to help Kiara guide the tether into the water if needed.

"all right, JJ, we're right over it. ten seconds northwest." John B instructs while looking at the iPad. I glance at JJ behind the wheel, and sure enough he begins to rotate the steering wheel.

like I said. hot. I would let him fuck me right up against-

"Lyv, where's your mind at?" Kiara questions, her eyes meeting mine. I shake my head and try to pull myself together. "you seem tired."

"yeah, I'm just really tired." I decide to go back and sit with JJ, not wanting anyone to notice me zoning out.

"are you feeling okay, babe?" JJ asks me quietly. I can tell he wants to reach out for me but has to keep his hands on the wheel.

"yeah, I'm okay." I reassure him by placing a kiss on his cheek. I slide in front of him to stand between him and the steering wheel.

not too soon after, I can feel him pressing up against me.

he leans close to my ear and murmurs, "you may or may not have to move, Olyvia. we don't want things to get out of hand."

"I can control myself, Maybank. can you?" I tease before laughing.

"tide's turning!" Kiara suddenly shouts. we were only at four hundred feet. did the weather really need to blow us?

"hey, JJ. ten seconds easy, south-southeast."

I think we were all beginning to get a little tense at this point. the weather would obviously not be in our favor soon.

"JJ, twenty seconds mid-speed, alright? south."

JJ follows all of John B's instructions, but they just make my head spin. "copy that, aye aye." he answer, turning the wheel. I decide to step out of the way and he groans in protest.

"focus, JJ." I tell him as I send him a wink.

"seven hundred feet!"

thunder cracked in the distance. "dammit." I mutter, jumping slightly. JJ almost falls over and has to brace himself when a wave hits the boat too strong. "are you good?"

"yeah, don't worry Lyv." he nods at me, trying to smile to make me feel better.

"nine hundred!"

"JJ, we're gonna turtle in this storm man." John B tells JJ, and my stomach immediately sinks. "crank it north by northwest! ten seconds!"

honestly what the hell does that even mean?

I begin to tune out everyone's voices as they fill with panic. the boat was getting rocked, hard. JJ tries his best to follow every order and stay on his feet, while Kiara was struggling with the tether. I jump up to help her and we both hold on tight.

"I'm at the bottom!" Pope finally yells. I feel a sense of relief as John B looks at the screen. Kiara and I go to join him, and just in time. "oh good god."

"see anything?" JJ questions, trying to turn around to watch.

"it's the royal merchant."

this is some Titanic type shit right here. but...

we found it.