If Caroline wasn't compelled she wouldn't of slept with him be with him and do all that stuff with him. 

So he slept with her without her real consent. 

She couldn't control what she was doing. 

He also mentally and physically abused Caroline.

Even Elena. He followed her to a parking lot and then tried to compel her to kiss him. The scene after Katherine told Damon that she never loved him and that "It was always Stefan.", 

Damon randomly appeared in Elenas bedroom and forced himself on Elena while she struggled to get away saying "No!" "Stop!" "I care about you but I love Stefan. Its always going to be Stefan!". 

Minus the romantic background music, this was an assault. 

Damon killed Jeremy like 30 seconds after doing this. 

He killed Jeremy three times. 

That scene basically showed that Damon was a creepy psychopath. 

He gets mad at Elena for not wanting him because he's pissed Katherine never loved him and then kills her brother. 

You'd think that would've been what really made Elena hate him forever, but the writers were so hell bent on sending the message that no matter how many horrible things Damon did, she would always see the good in him.

The writers don't give a shit about sexual assault the most we get is Jeremy attacking Tyler after he attempted to rape Vicki and mentioning it to Matt and the group who didn't do anything

Damon abusing and Raping Caroline went away after she turned

Nobody really mentions that Katherine had abused and Repeatedly raped Stefan for while in 1864.

The sex offenders diaries : Katherine, Damon, Stefan, Isobel, Vikki

I. The characters who are heavily implied to be rapists (I do believe they ARE rapists)

What is rape in Virginia ? Rape is defined as the « sexual intercourse with a complaining witness, or causing a complaining witness to engage in sexual intercourse with any other person, regardless of the existence of a spousal relationship and such act is accomplished (i) against the complaining witness's will, by force, threat or intimidation of or against the complaining witness or another person; or (ii) through the use of the complaining witness's mental incapacity or physical helplessness ». (Code of Virginia Va. Code § 18.2-61)

Vampires in TVD use compulsion to take away the characters' agency, it could be considered i) against their will, since vampires deprive human of their freewill when they compel them. There is no legal definition of consent in Virginia, so we have to infer it from the definition of rape. Since rape happens when the victim's will is taken away, it means that there is no consent when the victim has no will.

I'd like to add that the rapists in TVD seem to be sharing a modus operandi. When there is a human person in underwear and a vampire feeding on them/playing with them, you can assume the vampire is heavily implied to be their rapist. It's a CW show so of course we don't see it, but we KNOW what they did. Honestly I feel like they all learned this little trick from Katherine.

Katherine and Stefan

When Stefan discovered Katherine was a vampire, he was making out with her and still half-dressed when she fed on him (probably until he fainted). The next morning, he woke up, he was terrified. He told her « get away from me », and she compelled him to be okay with everything. Since then his agency was taken away from him. Let's be honest, we can assume there were other sexual encounters but it was no longer consensual on Stefan's part because his agency was taken away from him and he withdrew consent when he told her to get away from him.

Isobel

She was watching her two assistants dancing in underwear (S1E21), one female and one male. It's heavily implied they were compelled to do it since it obviously wasn't the job they were payed to do, and they immediately left as if they were her puppets when she told them to leave in a very rude way. The female assistant has a bite mark on her body. She also compelled the male one out of his sexuality, we know that because when John asked him if he's gay, she told him « not right now » and « he's very good to me. » (which implies she had sex with him). This confirms the pattern that the vampires who feed on humans and play with them when they're in underwear rape them.

Damon

Case 1 : Caroline

The first sexual encounter might have been consensual in the beginning, until Damon bit her. Then Caroline screamed, which led us to think she wasn't compelled yet, then she fainted until the next morning. This is really similar to what Katherine did. (according to the case law I've read consent must be withdrawn before penetration, there are probably exceptions, but I didn't go there because like Katherine we can assume there were other encounters, which are obviously not consensual anymore). When Caroline wakes up, she's terrified and he attacks her. We don't know if they have sex because the scene was cut off, but the show does lead us to believe there were other sexual encounters after she became his compelled puppet, which are obviously non consensual since he took her agency away from her by compelling her (and she screamed). Besides, I remember that at one point he asks her how good she is at « putting her little nose where it doesn't belong », and she smiles and says she's excellent. That line had a double meaning, one was messing with Stefan, the other was a blowjob. Pretty sure if he had her do it, he would have her do other things.

Case 2 : Andi

We don't actually see Andi and Damon having sex together, but we can guess based on context. The fact that Andi was attracted to him at first is irrelevant because not only did she seem not to be interested in him anymore (= withdrawal of consent) when she said « I know how to chose men » (she didn't sound happy about it), but he compelled her to be okay with vampirism etc. There's a scene in S2 when she's in underwear. He took her agency away, hence their relationship cannot be consensual. Just because Damon really cared about Andi doesn't mean he wasn't her rapist. (I honestly don't believe it was framed as right, Stefan told him she wasn't his toy, and both Elena and Alaric were still looking down on him in 3x01, the episode she was murdered).

Stefan

Case 1 : the women in 1864

There is a 1864 flashback in 2x15 where Stefan is feeding on several women (three or four) in lingerie (people in 1864 don't wear modern underwear like bras, what they were wearing was lingerie at the time, it was highly indecent to be dressed like this in the 19h century, especially around a man), it's implied he compelled them to undress and to be okay with him feeding on them and taking pleasure in it because they were really happy about it. There's even one of them lying on the sofa. We can understand what Damon and Katherine did based on context (this situation is similar to Damon and Andi or Isobel and her assistants, this is a pattern in TVD, vampires with human people in underwear are all implied to be their rapist), so can we for Stefan. Ironically it's newbie vampire Damon who compelled these women to leave, and Stefan was aware of what he was doing, because when Damon said it was too much and he was going to leave Stefan begged him to stay. I also remembered that when Damon arrived, Stefan threw a woman at him and she caressed him. Women don't need to be in lingerie for a vampire to feed on them (ex :1912 flashback in 3x16, the women were not in lingerie), there is an intended message. When Stefan explained it to Elena, she told him "sounds like you were Damon", and Stefan said "I was worse than Damon. »

Case 2 : the women in the 1920s : There is a dodgy line in his diary in S3 which mentions his days in the 1920s when he says he wakes up in strangers' blood with women he doesn't recognize. The mention of "women" isn't innocent, because it's canon that rippers don't feed only on women, we have seen Stefan feed on little kids too. The show also made it a point that he chose to have an apartment in Chicago next to an all-girls high school, which shut down for attendance issues, I think you can guess why...

I'd like to add that absolutely no one really took accountability in the show, every rape case was swept under the rug :

Katherine : Some people seem to believe she took accountability, which is not true :

Stefan: It wasn't real, I remember you compelling me.

Katherine: Only after I showed you who I really was. You were so scared of me, I had to take away your fear.

She didn't have to, it's a choice. She didn't take accountability either for the feeding part, nor the rape part. Stefan did forgive her in S5, he literally saved her from killing herself. He only ended up stabbing her because she betrayed him by jumping into Elena's body and ruined his trust yet again. It had nothing to do with her being his abuser.

Damon : He told Caroline she was crazy when she confronted him in S2, when she replied she remembered, he understood she was a vampire, he didn't say anything and she just threw him away. In S6, he only owned up to the feeding part in S6 (« I've turned Caroline into my personal bloodbag »), but not the rape part. In 8x10, Caroline only called it « he did terrible things to me », again, no mention of rape.

Stefan : No accountability either. Elena told him it sounded like he was Damon, to which he replied « I was worse than Damon » (2x15), which is further evidence that he pulled a Damon, but which is not putting into words what he actually did either, he's doing the same thing as his brother or Isobel, the only difference is that the victims are all dead. (He compels them, rape them, feeds and rips their head off, except for the last step he follows the same pattern as the other).

Pretty sure we can assume that Stefan has learnt his little trick from Katherine when compulsion broke when he turned. As for Damon, my bet is on Sage since when he told her a woman isn't for pleasure in 1912, she's the one who told him he had it all wrong (3x16).

Isobel : never addressed, Jon only asked her if the guy was gay and she admitted that he was not gay at the moment (because of her)...

II. The statutory rapists

Statutory rape is a term used to refer to sexual intercourse rendered illegal because it involve someone who is below the legal age of consent or is too young to give valid consent.

(There are « Romeo and Julie laws » which allow 13-15 y old to have sex with other 13-15 y old, and 15-17 y old to be with other 15-17 y old though, but not 18 y old or older usually).

There is a carnal knowledge of child statute and a statutory rape statute in Virginia. They don't use the legal term "statutory rape" but it's a similar same idea. The first one is not exactly statutory rape because it can involve older teenagers, it would be more accurate to call it carnal knowledge of child.

The first one is not exactly statutory rape, it's carnal knowledge, it deals with victims age 13 or 14 (§ 18.2-63). Someone who is 3 years older (ex : 16 for the 13 y old or 17 for the 14 y old) would commit carnal knowledge under this law, even if they are still underage themselves. (§ 18.2-63, B « If any person carnally knows, without the use of force, a child thirteen years of age or older but under fifteen years of age who consents to sexual intercourse and the accused is a minor and such consenting child is three years or more the accused's junior, the accused shall be guilty of a Class 6 felony »)

The second statute deals with any adult who is 18 or older and a 15 y old or older (§ 18.2-371) :

Any person 18 years of age or older (...) who (...) (ii) engages in consensual sexual intercourse or anal intercourse with or performs cunnilingus, fellatio, or anilingus upon or by a child 15 or older (...) is guilty »

As you've seen, the law forbids adults to have sex with minors even if the teenager gave their consent (forgive me for stating the obvious but I've really seen the misunderstanding on this sub : a 16 or 17 y old is STILL legally a child). I think the only exception to statutory rape is when they are married. But a 17 y old and a 18 y old outside marriage is stil statutory rape.

I would also like to add that the law cannot be bended to excuse a fictional character. (I know it sounds obvious but I have seen it here). So, what cases do we have in 2009 ?

Obviously 169 y old Damon has no business with 16-17 y old Caroline.

Still don't understand how sheriff Forbes was okay with this, Damon is not actually 24, he's a very old man (169 y old) like his brother but in the eyes of the sheriff, he still physically looks line a man in his twenties, which means it's bound to make her realize that it's wrong, there's no way she would have just said he was just a little too old for her and swept it under the rug... I don't know what was in the TVD writers' mind when they wrote the show sometimes. This case is obvious. Besides it was not consensual when she withdrew consent by screaming, which makes it not only statutory rape, but rape.

162 y old Stefan and 17 y old Elena.

Stefan may not have been caught by the sheriff because he's supposed to look like a 17 y old (but homegirl didn't say anything about supposedly 24 y old Damon so I don't expect her to catch that, love Liz but she's not a very good cop...) but he's actually 162 y old, whereas Elena was 17 y old. As the statute mention, a 17 y old can't legally give consent to a relationship with an adult, so yeah, Stefan committed statutory rape.

This case if often excused or overlooked so I'm going to deal with it more than the Daroline case. I've seen the excuse in the fandom is that teenage vampires are teenagers, but that is not canon at all (I've been told it's because it doesn't work that way in Twilight, so people mix Twilight and TVD, but what is canon in Twilight isn't in TVD, if anything TVD's stance on vampires' age is more similar to Buffy, where Angel admitted he's too old for Buffy). It's been addressed in the show. Stefan is 162. For instance, Lexi told him in S1 that it's not everyday a guy turns 162, he's also been to college before (which is a lot harder than high school). Moreover, he said himself in S5 that he knows there must be a reason why a 163 y old guy goes back to high school, which means he's self aware that he's an old man who has no business in high school. It's been addressed several times on both TVD+TO that even teenagers vampires get more mature and keep counts of their age even if they can't physically age anymore. Rebekah literally said in S01E01 of TO : « I may be old, but I'm not senile », she's 1000 y old, not 17. Aya made fun of Kol and said he was too old for Davina. Hope called Roman an old man when she found out he was not an actual teenager like her. I do have more evidence of it.

(I am not saying Rebekah and Kol commited statutory rape with Matt and Davina, I know both Matt and Davina were 18, and I have to turn a blind eye to these old vampires pursuing teenagers or young adults because every regular vampire in this show are old people except Caroline and Elena).

For people who really want to think Stefan is 17 y old (which is just not true), let's go through with your logic. Stefan had sex with 18 y old Elena in early S4, does that mean that 18 y old Elena committed statutory rape on supposedly forever 17 y old Stefan whereas he has lived for 163 years ? I think we all see there is a problem here.

17-18 y old Vikki and 14-15 y old Jeremy, which is illegal no matter whether she's 17 or 18:

Vikki turned 18 on August before the school starts, but it's implied she had sex with 14 y old Jeremy during all summer. Since Jeremy was 14 and Vikki was 17, the three year age gap makes it carnal knowledge under the first statute. (§ 18.2-63, Code of Virginia)

Besides, considering how she was still toying with his feelings after school started, let's be honest, she probably didn't stop the second she turned 18 (and it's not like the writers seem to know anything about rape, so why would the characters know better), pretty sure she stopped in the autumn because school started and she didn't want everyone to know she was with Elena's little brother. So she probably has committed statutory rape under the second statute too (18 y old with under 18 y old).

To conclude, I'd like to say I know the writers screwed up when they were writing, but that doesn't mean that rape is not rape, or statutory rape is not statutory rape. I don't really like excuses honestly. Everyone can still love the characters they love, but the characters should all be held accountable.

Katherine is a rapist, Damon is a rapist, Stefan is a rapist, Isobel is a rapist, Vikki committed carnal knowledge of child (which is still incredibly wrong because under 18 y old are seriously protected by the laws and the courts, as they should be) and I don't think she's above statutory rape (she was still flirting with Jeremy in the beginning of the season, when she was clearly 18).

I am not sorry for the rant this time. I do truly thank the people who can see things for how they are though. Please keep in mind that the aim of this is mostly to be informative, I won't deal with the excuses for any of these characters.