CHAPTER ELEVEN
ғɪʀᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ

I could sense that Bella had figured out Jacob's secret seconds after I left through her window. Instead of waiting by the tree, guarding her window against Victoria's potential threat, I took myself to the edge of the woods, letting my fingers slide across the dried branches of the pine trees. It hadn't rained in three days, and the forest was pleading for it, not used to prolonged dryness, even if it was mere days rather than weeks. I felt as thirsty as the leaves did.

Jacob didn't return. We went through school days like normal, speaking only in small minutes between classes, when Mike wasn't trailing at our heels and Jessica wasn't there to interrupt with some sort of brag.

During these days, the cafeteria seemed so much louder, as if everything had suddenly come into place, exposing all that we had neglected. There was Angela and Eric and everyone we had once talked to on the regular. Our whole spheres, of which our thoughts and concerns and everything in between had been contained within, had narrowed and shrunk until they were devoured by thoughts of the Cullens, Jacob, and vampires and wolves. While both Bella and I's world have undoubtedly broadened in one way, it had also shrunk in numerous others.

As I sat at our usual table, I could see all of that clearly. I could hear Angela talking to Mr. Varner about the paper Bella had forgotten to hand in. Across the room, Mike was making an effort to convince Lauren to come back to sit with our ruptured group. By my side, I could faintly acknowledge Tyler's weak attempt to ask me to join him at the beach in La Push with him one weekend, which internally I laughed at. Never had I envied Edward more than I had then. To be able to look into their heads and see myself through their eyes- the thought of it was too indulgent.

But the blood and the heartbeats- the scents and the sounds had never been so hard to ignore. It pounded through my ears until it sounded like my own veins pumping around my body, paining my head until I wanted to throw my seat to the floor and sprint away. Across the table, Bella sat with her unopened Pepsi can and an apple. I focused on it. But even that meagre, untouched meal had a way of bringing me back to the Cullens and all the problems that had rightly taken us away from the scenes in the cafeteria. They used to sit like that, staring down at the table or at something far off that human eyes wouldn't be able to detect, an uneaten meal at the reach of their fingertips. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, Alice would say, as if her pristine health was down to anything but the supernatural life that coursed through her tiny body.

No doubt Bella thought about the same as I did, about those months where the family would be by our sides and not just sitting in our minds. But there was something else plaguing her, making her hands twitch and eyes flicker up to me every few seconds. It was hard to ignore. It was incredibly difficult to want to ignore- with Victoria on the loose I couldn't avoid it.

We skipped biology after lunch, instead choosing to sit in her truck listening to an old song on her iPod, thanks to the fact that her new radio had already been ripped out messily. My own car was close to falling to pieces and I had no clue what to do with it. Also, it didn't help that it was borderline stolen.

Bella reached over to the dashboard, turning down the already painfully quiet music. She waited a short moment before she spoke, a thin strand of dark hair twirling between two fingers.

"I talked to Jacob."

Bella's face was an awkward mix of hopefulness and despair, as it had been for days. Though she denied it, Jacob was an obvious replacement for Edward, even though the two were so dissimilar. Without him, her anchor had been lifted, leaving her drift out toward choppy waters and I didn't like seeing where she was headed.

As I didn't answer, Bella, nudged my side playfully. "I want you to come and talk to him," she said quietly. "He agreed to. For my sake."

I shook my head, unbelieving at the fact that she had actually asked. "I can't trust him. Not when there's only one of me."

"You can. He would never hurt you," she insisted.

"What do you think Edward would do? Or Alice?"

"That's different. The pack doesn't like the Cullens. They don't know you," she offered, but even the hopefulness on her face looked false, painted and contorted as a doll. "Jacob won't do anything. He knows it would kill me."

What else do I have to lose?

No.

It was idiotic to even contemplate it. Laurent was dead because of the wolves. Bella had told me they'd ripped him to shreds until there was only a single piece of tattered clothing left. The moment I stepped too close to one of them again, I feared it would mean the same for me. Who knew how long my mask would last?

Despite it all, I asked, "where?"

"On the cliffs. He promised to take me diving," she said, eyes fluttering up to me.

I shook my head again, hands wrapping tightly around my schoolbag. "I don't know about this, Bella."

Her hands reached forward to lay against mine, wrapping beneath until her fingers rested below my palms. She always did that, more for her own sake than mine, but I liked it.

"Please," she said, voice hoarse. "I'm sick of being in the middle of two warring sides. I want my best friends to be civil to one another. Is that so much to ask for?"

"It is when they're vampire and wolf," I snapped, face softening at her pained expression. "You truly trust him?"

"With my life."

What else do I have to lose?

I was cautious enough to never even dabble at the line of danger- too scared of the prospect of impeding nothingness that came after a vampire's 'death'. In terms of noticeability, I was neither a threat nor an eye-catcher. But all the same, it had never been death that I was afraid of...

"Alright. I'll go with you. But the minute something feels off, I'm running."

Bella's face crumpled into a satisfied. smile. "I understand. Thank you."

Sunlight spilled down from beneath pillow-like clouds, coating the trees and rigid ground like a wash of orange paint. From up upon the sharp edges of the cliffs, the rocky shoreline was in complete view, cutting across the golden sands of distant beaches like a butcher's knife. I sighed, taking in the distinct waft of sea salt that rolled out in waves. It really was a shame that I could never really come up to the cliffs. The threat of the wolves always seemed too grand to even risk it.

But there I was, facing the risk as if it meant nothing at all.

Already, the light of day was quickly ending, overcome easily by greying clouds and the dark tint of night. I was supposed to meet Bella off the road, where we first saw the boys from the reservation when they were cliff jumping. Jacob would come after.

As I emerged from the trees, I could already see Bella, her green pants and maroon jacket standing out against the indigo colour of the sky. I heard an inhale, and for a moment I couldn't tell whether it was the breath of the cool wind or Bella. But then, in one ungainly movement, she jumped from the edge, a surprised gasp leaving her lips as she hurtled down from the cliff.

"No! Bella! No!"

Bella disappeared behind the rock face, her body tumbling down toward the waves below. I threw myself forward, pushing myself against the wind as I dove forward, arms reaching down as I slipped through the air and into the water.

It was dark, the only light being that of the covered sun up above. The water enveloped my body like a tentacle. My arms reached out, grasping soft flesh. Bella floated below the rough surface with her eyes closed, body seeming weightless beneath the brutality of the waves. She'd lost her anchor some time ago, and now the boat was sinking, quite literally drowning her with it.

I pulled her up, breaking the surface. Bella let out a sudden gasp before she started spluttering, sea salt spraying from her pale lips. Away from the great mounds of rocks that sprung from the waves, I had to drag her back toward the beach, swimming until my feet could touch the bottom. As the water began to lower back down below our chins, another hand connected with Bella's arm pulling her away.

"I've got her!" I shouted, keeping my own hand on hers.

It was Jacob who tugged her again, sending her crashing into his exposed chest as my feet finally united with dry sand. Within seconds, a towel or blanket was wrapped around her shivering shoulders, a pure look of shock frozen on her face like a portrait.

I started forward, but stopped myself, the familiar scent sending me stepping backward. The smell of wolf had never been so horridly strong.

"The Cullens can't come here."

Sam Uley stared back at me with a face of thunder, his arms crossed. There were two others behind him, and Jacob stood to the side, arm firmly around Bella. Somehow, looking back at him, I knew it was him who I'd first seen in the woods.

I forced my chin up, wiping away the nerves. If they wanted me dead, I would have been dead already, even with my own speed. "I'm not a Cullen."

"Please, she saved me. She's my friend," Bella said, voice coming out as a croak as she clung to the blanket.

"The Cullens can't come here," he said again in his booming tone.

I held my ground. "Do I need to say it again? I'm not a Cullen."

"You're still one of them," he spat. "This is your last chance, bloodsucker. We let you go and we're even. Don't cross into our territory again."

I glanced at Bella. She was safe, at least, though her body hadn't stopped shaking. But I knew it was my last chance to leave with myself intact. Though there was some part of me that was thankful and wholly surprised that I was still alive in my own sense, I expected to feel snapping jaws at my heels as I turned to leave. Surely they didn't mean to let me go unharmed? This is a single let go for saving Bella.

"I wouldn't dare," I snarled, skipping past Jacob as he managed to growl my way. "Alright, wolf, I'm going."

"I'll be okay," Bella said as I sent another look her way.

"You sure?"

She nodded, and without another thought, I left, letting my feet carry me far quicker than the wind. No wolf followed. It wasn't until I was close to Bella's house, that I realized what it all meant. The wolves finally knew what I was.

I slowed, mind racing just to think.

My hand flew to my neck. "No. No. No."

It was bare, skin smooth and still glistening with the remnants of saltwater. Take care of this for me. Alice's written words played over in my mind until I could hear her soft voice repeatedly like a broken record. I clutched at my throat, wrapping my fingers until it formed a tight ring. The necklace was gone. Alice's necklace was gone. And though I knew it was absurd, it felt like a bad omen, like a doomed sign. I felt like Alice could never return, that I'd broken the bond that would soon draw her back.

And because of that, my heart broke.

Just a little bit more.

☾